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Son Naeun

 

She was there.

 

I saw her, like the usual, sitting in her tree house with a pad of paper, drawing yet again the moon from up above. It was a silent night, and I was flying aimlessly around the city of aspen, until I saw her in her own home.

Jung Eunji… she was a fairy... Or maybe not.

She’s like a peter pan, my peter pan. She doesn’t have wings like all of the fairies in the city, in our world… She’s not the usual bright fairy you’ll meet. She rarely smiles. She rarely would even look at me.

And yet, she’s still the person I look up upon the most.

She’s smart and great and cool. She may not smile a lot but I know her smile would be the prettiest that you could ever see. She may not have a beautiful pair of wings, or even wings at all, but she’s the most skillful flyer I’ve ever seen. And her eyes, god I know how many fairies would trade anything for that lovely pair… She’s great at drawing… She’s great in everything, that I would be really honored to be her any day…

She’s the one person I love… but I know I can never have her…

Because I’m a fairy and she’s someone who can’t be with someone like me.

“You’re drawing the moon yet again?” I asked as I stepped inside the wooden floor of her house. The walls were all made of planks of wood that she has magnificently decorated. Frames of photos and drawings were hanging by the walls and the window… it was wide, showing the magnificent view of the night sky.

I’m the type of person who will love the stars more… But Eunji was the type to be fascinated by the moon. I didn’t know why… I never knew…

“The moon is beautiful, Princess Naeun.” She answered politely, finally setting aside the pad of paper and faced me with a gentle smile that melted me inside.

When we were kids… Eunji doesn’t speak to me as if I was someone from a higher status. We were friends… partners in crime… lovers…

Yes, it was true. We played house more than a hundred times… I would always be the mom and she would always be the dad…

“Naeun!” Her little self would call me then. We were sitting comfortably in a bench spread in the city of Aspen. “I’ve got something to show you!”

That was the first night she showed me a drawing of the moon from the above. “It was beautiful, isn’t it!?”

“Eh… Why did you draw the moon? The stars are prettier…”

“No… the moon is really beautiful, Naeun-ah!” She would stuck a wide grin on her face then and pinch my cheeks. “It’s as pretty as you…”

She would tell me that… and she would hold my hand… and then she would kiss me…

She did, in my memories, I could never forget how she held my hand tightly that night, and leaned forward, kissing my once young lips with her own soft lips.

It was my first kiss… and it was more perfect that what I expected.

She never smiled as widely and as sweetly as that now… but still…

There she was again, making me fall for her yet some more.

“Don’t call me Princess when we are alone, Eunji unnie…” I pouted, wanting her to pamper me with love, the love for a younger sister. As much as I wanted more, I know she can never give that to me. She never sees me more than a friend anyway.

“But you are a princess…”

But that word just keeps you farther from me, unnie. It was a silent reminded of who I am and who you are… I wanted to say but to no avail. She lightly tapped my head and smiled.

“Why are you here?” She softly asked after some time.

That question, I was always tired of answering the same thing. She was the reason why I was there… but I can’t say that.

Just why can’t I be with her?

The silence was in the air. And I was stuck there, standing right in front of her, waiting for her to speak I guess.

On the corner of my eyes, I can see the moonlight. It was entrancing, as always, and a thought came to my mind.

“Unnie… Let’s go out.” I told her with the same equal genuine smile.

“Out? Where?”

“To the moon…”

I never saw her smile widely after that.

 

The moon we were looking at, the beautiful sliver that she always drew but never got into, it was the city of Luna. It was a floating city, filled with strong city lights that seems so beautiful back down on the city of Aspen. Up there, the view of the stars were majestic… it was the place where our likes coincides. She’s in her moon, and I was there with her to look up at the endless stars in the sky.

She held my hand tightly then, as we soared up in the air. My wings were flapping softly and swiftly while she floated in air in ease.

“I still don’t get how you can fly without wings…” I muttered.

With a grin, she pinched my cheeks and flew right pass me.

“I guess that’s how amazing I am.”

 

Like little kids, since we basically grew up together, we raced towards the city of Luna. She got there first, no surprise there. Not that I am complaining anyway. I love it, looking at her as she floated away in the wind of the night, being amazing under the moonlight.

It was just so perfect being with her all this time…

“Well here we are.” She stated as we stepped down the city and saw the active city night in the place. “Is there anything you wanna buy here? Or what?”

A lot of fairies were around, with their own pair of lovely wings. Mine was the most beautiful, all the people said… Eunji wasn’t part of that whole. I asked her once if my wings were beautiful, but she just shrugged, saying that it was indeed pretty.

It was kinda a rule in our world, when you found the pair of wings similar to your own, he or she is your fate. I never saw anyone with the same pair of wings as I do. And in fact, I don’t even want to find it.

Eunji was all I wanted… but could never have.

“Can’t we just walk around the city, unnie?” I asked, looking at her with my puppy eyes that she gave in immediately.

“But you are gonna keep walking and the princess shouldn’t be tired because of that.”

There she goes again…

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Princess?”

“A hundred times?”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

 

Minutes later, the people, or should I saw fairies, finally noticed my presence and started talking to me, greeting me as if I was someone special. I wasn’t. I don’t want to be…

I love my family… I love my life… but I just love her so much…

Tugging slowly on Eunji’s shirt, I whispered in her ear.

“Eunji unnie… let’s get away from here…”

With another smile, she nodded her head. “As you wish, my princess…”

In a second, I found myself getting carried by Eunji unnie in her arms as she floated away to a place I never been before…

 

My arms were loosely wrapped around Eunji unnie’s neck as she expertly navigated through the sky, finding a place to hide in from people. Our faces were dangerously close to each other. It wasn’t the first time. But every time she did, it sends my heart on somersaults. I can’t say I hate it, but I just half wished she held unto me because we were together, not because she was supposed to protect me, and that I am the princess who can order her around.

 

She dropped me off gently on the tip of the crescent of the city, the place that shows the point in the sliver moon. The dark night was still there, but it was more dazzling as before, and not so loud like back in the downtown of the city.

Eunji unnie took off her black coat and spread it on the grass, letting me sit beside her. She was only left with her long sleeved knitted sweater that looks good with her. Throwing all of the inhibitions from before, I dared to place my head on her shoulders, pulling her even closer to me, if it was possible.

“N-naeun-ah…” She blurted out.

“What?”

“N-Nothing…”

We stayed like that until it was too late. I enjoyed it… it felt like we were on a date. But heaven’s knows it can’t be. I’m not supposed to be in love with Jung Eunji…

I’m not supposed to be in love with the daughter of the king of the death… not her.

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Jung Eunji

 

Another of those nights.

 

I was on my usual lair, drawing the moon yet again. It wasn’t that beautiful as the previous night before. Last night, I was able to step there, a grant that could only be approved for only thrice a year. That’s why I was beyond marveled to tour the place. I was more than happy too that I get to spent it with Princess Naeun.

Princess Naeun… I didn’t even know when I started calling her that. Maybe when I was fourteen and she was thirteen? Back then, I found out we could never be.

Naeun and I have been friends since we were babies. Our parents weren’t technically friends and close, but our families are part of the five major families of our world, each has a place to govern.

There’s the Luna, the Aspen, The Sault, the Walter, and The Grave. I am from the kingdom of the Grave, the world of the death…

It was dark in our kingdom but it takes a huge territory. I guess it was there that I developed how to be anti-social. Ever since I entered my young adult years, my father let me go and leave into other places in our world. The farthest I could be in is Aspen, that’s why I made my own home there. Aspen has the most beautiful view of Luna anyway. And there, I can just absentmindedly stare at the moonlike shape of that floating city, half dreaming that Naeun was there, staring back at me.

Naeun… Naeun is from the kingdom of Luna, the city where we were last night. It was her place, her kingdom… Her family rules all anyway, and I can be considered as one of her servants.

She will always be out of my league.

Naeun is my moon, the fairy I could never reach at all.

I love her.

 

I bitterly look at my pad of paper, flipping the pages that she thought was filled with drawings of the world right above, but instead filled with her face.

I love Naeun ever since we were kids. I’ve kissed her once, and no one knows how much I wanted to kiss her yet again but…

It was that but that stops me from doing anything at all.

Feeling my heart constrict, I closed the goddamn book and threw it across the room, my frustrations reaching its limit.

I can’t FOREVER pretend that she was just a friend.

I’m not stupid, and I’m not a jerk…

But I could be… especially when it comes to her.

“This can’t be…” I thought before stepping out of my home and speedily darted through the wind, flying endlessly to stop my heart from racing Naeun’s name.

They told me once… Love is when hearing voice itself is heart racing enough, and yet at the thought of her, a certain pain comes in your heart and you’ll just wish you never loved her instead.

I was being aimless in the night sky, I guess… that Naeun herself have to stop me.

“Eunji unnie…” She spoke that instantly stopped me from flying around the sky and look at her who was floating a few feet below me.

Her eyes were glassy and I can see tears forming on the corners of it. Her hands… I saw it holding unto my pad. She probably looked through it already and found out.

“Naeun, what are you doing here?” I asked, a little bit too coldly.

“Since when?”

“Since when what?”

“Since when are you hiding the truth from me?”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

Then I saw her tears falling from her eyes.

“That you love me.”

“I don’t.”

I can’t… I can’t love you Naeun-ah… A daughter of the death can’t be with the daughter of the light… I am a princess… but we were from opposite worlds… being together will only make things harder, and would ruin everything this world was built in.

“You love me.” She firmly stated before lessening the space between the two of us until she was in front of me. I was there, still standing in the air, frozen on my spot.

“I-I d-don’t…” I whispered again, although it was obvious that it’s not holding any truth anymore.

“Liar.”

She spoke one last time before leaning completely, crashing her lips with mine. I didn’t know if I should respond, but Naeun was stubborn. She kept tilting left and right, trying to find the right angle. Her arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me closer, kissing me fully. I let her do so, not wanting to pull away but was still not able to gather the courage to kiss back.

And then she finally pulled away, panting and looking through my eyes.

“Eunji unnie, tell me the truth please… You love me, right?”

 

I was a coward. And I probably hurt her once again… that night.

“I’m sorry, Naeun-ah…”