The sky seemed so dark and gloomy today Jaehee wondered if it was reflecting her mood. The dark atmosphere and heavy breathing made her feel breathless.

 

She looked at him, who had turned his back against her,unwilling to listen to anymore of what she had to say. Was this the end? Was this what We would come to after all that we’ve fought for? These questions clouded her mind as her vision became jagged and blurry. But she held it in.

 

Months ago if there were tears in her eyes, Sehun would probably be so heart broken and take her into his arms again before letting go of his pride and apologizing and they would’ve been fine again.

 

Months later, the sight of her tears irritated him and she knew it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. She didn’t want to make him even more frustrated at her at this moment. She’s hanging to the last thread of hope, the really tiny hope.

 

She always had a way with words. Her words were impactful, and they often resonate within one’s heart. That was how Sehun had fell for her anyway, in the beginning. Now, she doesn’t even know if he’s still in love with her.

 

Back then, when his eyes were gentle with care, his arms strong but loving, his voice caring and soothing. He was perfect. He was the one for her. And she knew he loved her.

 

Loved.

 

Now, often, she catch flickers of annoyance, she no longer remember the feeling of his loving arms around her, and his voice was no longer caring but instead almost always filled with daggers that seem to want to hurt her till she’s tattered and torn.

 

But she still loved him, and she doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because of the memories, or maybe it’s because he still calls her name in his sleep, he still looks for her for attention and love when he was down, or maybe it’s simply because she’s fallen too deep. And she knows that she can’t let him go without a fight.

 

“Sehun, please,” Jaehee’s voice came out shaky, and it shocked even herself, as she definitely hadn’t expect her voice to become so weak.

 

He turned around, and she was relieved the hard look in his eyes earlier was gone, replaced with hostile softness that she was not accustomed to.

 

“Sehun, I know we’ve been fighting a lot for the past few weeks, and that we haven’t been on good terms for a long time now. I know you don’t find spark when you look at me anymore, nor do you have butterflies in your stomach when I call your name anymore. I know for the fact that you’ve lost interest in me,” Jaehee paused as a lump appeared in .

 

Sehun looked conflicted, and heart broken, but he let her carry on.

 

“But, I would rather fight with you for the rest of my life than let you go. If you’ve lost interest in me, I can help you find it again. If you lost the sparks for me, I can make you feel them again. There’s no one else I want other than you.” the liquid slid down her cheeks, as her voice faded into a whisper.

 

And once again. Sehun felt himself falling for this side of her again. Her words once again resonated in his heart so loudly he felt that it was coming out of him. Because, he didn’t want to fight with anyone else other than her too.

 

“I won’t force you, hun. I can give you time. Please think it through before telling me. And,if you decide to leave, please tell me personally,” Jaehee knew she would break down soon if she stayed so she took her belongings and left this one last speech that kept Sehun rooted to the ground for a long long time.

 

 

12:30 am

 

Sehun felt the empty space beside him. It was icy cold, telling him once again that she wasn’t here. And he felt sick. Because when had he became so weak without her?

 

Even when they fought, they slept together. She never left him alone, and he sure as hell wasn’t willing to leave her alone. Even when they had their backs facing each other in the long night, there was the type of warmth that he knew was there and it made him feel secure. But now that it’s only empty sheets, he felt like throwing up. It was so lonely.

 

He thought through her words over and over again. The image of her face appeared over and over again. And he felt like . The thought of not having her beside him made him want to throw everything away. He can’t deny it, he missed her. Her brown eyes that always seem to look through him,her pale lips that moulded so perfectly with his, her long white fingers that danced on his skin when she was bored, her whole existence that he knew no one could replace. It disgust him to the ends of the world to know that he would have to love someone else other than her. And it disgust him even more if she loved someone else other than him.

 

Heck, it tears him apart just with the thought.

 

Yet, he stayed in bed. He wanted to think things through and thoroughly. Because he knew how badly the fights were affecting Jae Hee. He watched how much weight she had lost, and how her panda eyes were starting to show, and how much effort she seem to put into their relationship even though it wears her out emotionally. If they were going to continue fighting, wouldn’t it be better if they left it here and stop hurting each other? He hated seeing her being so affected and hurt , and worse, because of him.

 

He flipped over on his back, and closed his eyes.

 

He didn’t sleep throughout the whole night.