Dear sister, 

Have you ever thought of my feelings? Even once?  You always said that I was the favourite child. You always thought that the reason you're being scolded was me. You talk to others like they are your everything. But me? You always ignored me. But guess what? I listen to your feelings, complaints, spazzings, everything. And when I ignore you? You called me rude. Have you ever look at yourself first? What made me ignore you? 

When I need your help, you asked me to do it myself. When you need my help, I was always there. Why? Why did you use your power as an older sister meanly? I'm your sister. not your maid. 

You thought our parents love me more? Why? Because they always let me go out and come back late but think twice when it was your turn? haha I thought you were smarter big sis. They definitely care about you more if they have to think twice. They don't want anyhting bad to happen to you. Me? Oh, they think i will be fine on my own. 

And you thought that they always praise me. Are you stupid, seriously? They had always been proud of your achievements. 

Participated in an interschool competition, and received the best player award.

Participated in a public competition, and won second place. 

Participated in an international competition, and reached the quarters. 

One of the students who scored really well in the national exams, and recieved and award for that. 

Eveyone is talking about these. Everyone is talking about you. 

How about me? 

I organised a school event which ended successfully. I led one of the programmes. 

and? 

Nobody freaking cares about MY achievements. 

why? because I'm just your shadow.

I was trying to share my happiness with them, but they ignored me and changed the topic about you receiving an award. 

How about our parents? They always listen to what you share about your day or things that you had just learned. 

Me? They either wave their hands and cut my sentences off or just ignore me.

Am I that bad? Am I that bad of a child? Am I a bad person? 

Has anyone ever thought about how I felt?

I don't think so.

Have you ever thought about this, big sis? Have you? No. You only think about you and yourself. 

When something doesn't go your way, I'm always there to be blamed. 

Why? Because I am the bad one. Because I am bad luck. 

Being a butterfinger since little is not easy too. If anything fell or broke, I'm the one always first to be scolded although I'm not the one who did it. 

Being clumsy is hard too. Especially when I have a sister like you. 

Remember that time when I fell down in the kitchen because of the slippery floor? What did you do? Laugh and went back to your room. Did I look like a comedian there? You could at least asked me if I was okay or help me get up. Instead of ignoring me and did you even know that I cried in the toilet because I was hurt. Not because of the fall. But because of a sister like you. Why? Is seeing me suffering, pleasure for you? 

How about among our relatives? 

They don't even know my name. 

They always talked you. Me? Oh I'm always the invisible girl who sits beside you. I'm only seen when you're not there. 

But you know what? Although they talk to me, they would always talk about you or ask about you. They only talk to me about something else when they need something.

Excuse me, is there the word "MAID" written on my face? I don't think so. 

 I'm just the second option or nothing at all. Mostly the latter. 

I hate you. But I love you. 

Why? Despite your harsh attitude, you still cared about me secretly. Although you try to cover it with rude words, I think that is how you show your affection. 

When I said I sprained my neck, you quickly scolded me for not telling you earlier and asked me to put oil on it before it become worst. 

You told the teacher I was ill, and asked her to not let me play. I was frustrated. Why? Because it was my wish to at least play once in the games. So I went. 

What I did not realise was, you were just worried if anything bad was to happen to me. 

Now I understand why people like you better. Now I know why you're always the main topic. 

You're not just someone who achieve things. You're also someone who is caring. You're also brave to do things and you socialise with people well. 

How about me? Have I achieve anyhing great? Am I caring enough? I'm just a little chicken who is afraid to do things. I don't socialise well with people. I'm just an awkward turtle. 

I don't want to be your shadow anymore. I don't want to be a burden to others. 

If they can treat me like I have no feelings, I can too. pfft, Do they even care if I was gone from their lives? Only you know the answer. 

I can't do this anymore. 

Goodbye my dearest sister. 

Please tell me how they felt after I was gone when we meet in heaven. 

-Your invisible little sister-

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