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Today will be the best day of my life. That’s what I have been thinking for the past days. In a few moments, I will debut as a singer which has been my dream ever since. In addition to that, today is also the 1000^th day of me dating the person I cherish the most in the world, Jaehwan. I cannot be any happier today, right? I’m excited to step on the stage later and sing my very first single which I dedicate to him only. I won’t reach this stage of my life if Jaehwan is not by my side.

 

“Cha Hakyeon-ssi, get ready now. In five minutes, you will set your feet on stage. Congratulations on your debut!” The coordinator told me.

 

The moment she left me in the room, my heart sounded differently. It beats so fast that I cannot breathe properly. I am so nervous.

 

“You look so pale Hakyeon-ah. Calm down. This is what you’ve worked hard for, isn’t it? You don’t want to mess up the stage, do you? Take a deep breath and think that this will be the best performance of your life, okay?” My manager said.

 

I hugged and thanked him for his encouraging words. He is right. Everything will be a waste if I let my nervousness eat me. I won’t let anything ruin this most special day of my life.

 

The coordinator, once again, entered the room. “It’s your turn now, Cha Hakyeon-ssi. Congratulations again.”

 

I took a deep breath once more and took out my phone from my pants’ pocket. I smiled as I saw the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Of course it’s Jaehwan’s. He’s on my phone’s wallpaper. His face is enough to ease all the thoughts and nervousness in me right now. I just wish he’s here but he has to attend his midterm exams. I cannot wait to see him later.

 

--

 

I can’t believe that happened while I was on the stage. I felt as if I’m flying to the skies. I let the people in there hear the sound my heart and soul brings. I sang my heart out. Afterwards, all I heard was their applause and cheers. Some people screamed congratulations too. I cannot contain my happiness that I cried while leaving the stage and thanking everybody I see. They are all part of this most special day.

 

I was still in joyful tears as we left the broadcasting station. My manager and CEO kept telling me to calm and hush my tears but I cannot do it. They just laughed at me and didn’t bother me anymore. It was almost eight in the evening when we reached the company. The CEO invited me for dinner but I refused to because I know someone has been waiting for me today. I bid my goodbyes and left to head to my most favorite place, our university’s rooftop.

 

When I stepped off from the taxi, I run as fast as possible to climb the stairs towards the rooftop. I just cannot wait anymore. I have been wanting to see his face all day long. The mere thought of seeing his smile kept me going until I reached the rooftop breathlessly.

 

“Lee Jaehwan!” I shouted.

 

Seeing how he slowly turn his face to my way, I just cannot stop and throw myself to him.

 

“Hyung!” He uttered and hugged me too.

 

The moment I let go of his embrace is when I saw his most beautiful smile and as I stare into his eyes, I see stars from the way it sparks. I knew that I really love this guy in front of me.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your debut today. I will make it up tonight, I promise.” He said as he brush his palm to my face. I just smiled and held his hands and feel it as I close my eyes. All the worries I had suddenly vanished away. I felt as if I was floating with the clouds with his touch. Jaehwan has that soothing effect on me ever since. With him by my side, I always feel at peace. When I am with him, I feel like I am home. Jaehwan is my sanctuary.

 

“Come on, let’s eat dinner. I’m sorry I just did take-outs for these. I ran out of time after the exams.” He said as he let me sit on the ground. We were like having a picnic in the school’s rooftop under the starry night skies. Couldn’t this day be any more beautiful?

 

“It’s okay Jaehwan-ah. As long as you’re here with me, any food will taste good.” I smiled at him as he take out the food from the paper bag. As he did that, I noticed something. He looked a bit off.

 

He wasn’t as cheerful as what he usually is. I couldn’t help but ask, “Is there something wrong, Jaehwannie?” and reach out to hold his hand in mine.

 

He shook his head. “Nothing, hyung. Maybe I was just tired from the exams today. Don’t mind me. I want this day to be your most unforgettable one.” and he kissed my hand which made my thoughts gone in a second.

 

From then, we quietly eat our dinner. We would glance at each other in between eating and just smile or he would help me remove dirt on my face and steal a kiss. This is how we are together. We spent our moments just by sitting next to each other. Sometimes he would request a song from me. I gladly sing him his favorite song and he would lie his head on my thighs until he fell into his sleep. I love staring at his sleeping face too. In those quiet times that I can hear the sound my heart makes for just him only. It is when I understand how much I love him.

 

“What are you thinking, hyung?” I didn’t notice that I stopped eating and looked like a fool, staring at him. I shook my head and smiled widely. “I was thinking about you and how much I love you.”

 

He smiled at me too. But I saw it again. His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “How much do you love me, Hyung?”

 

I stood up from my seat and sat next to him. I hugged him as tight as I can possibly do. “If there is any tighter than this hug I could give, then that would be how much I love you, Jaehwan. I cannot hug someone this much in my life. So please don’t go anywhere far away, okay? You’re the person I would love to be in my arms always.”

 

He let go of my arms and faced me. I was a bit shocked when I saw tears in his eyes. I was about to brush it off from his face when he pressed his tear-stained lips into mine. I suddenly see fireworks as I close my eyes and welcome his loving lips. I encircled my arms into him again and return his kisses to me. I could feel that it is his way of saying he loves me as much as I do for him.

 

Afterwards, we spent the night just lying in each other’s arms and stare at how beautiful the stars are in the skies. I didn’t know how I fell asleep, I just know that I am side by side with the love of my life without knowing that the best day of my life would end in such a way.

 

--

 

“What do you mean by that, N-ssi? How did that day end?” Miss Park asked.

 

I smiled at her. I have never told anyone about this story. Two years has passed and I can’t believe that I will finally tell this story to someone.

 

“He left me with no trace. I woke up in the rooftop without any idea where he was. At first I thought, he just went somewhere. Maybe he had an emergency and didn’t bother to wake me up. I will just wait for him. I am sure he will call or leave a message. He will not let me worry about him.”

 

Miss Park continued to write on her notebook as I told, “But then, he never called that day. I went home to my apartment hoping he’s there or he left me a note but none. I waited for another day but to my disappointment, there wasn’t any news of him again. I called him endlessly but his phone was always out of reach. I talked to his professors and classmates but they also don’t know where he was. I was becoming hopeless that very day, Miss Park. I don’t know what to do.”

 

I didn’t know that opening this memory to someone would affect me still. I thought I was doing fine already but suddenly tears started to fall from my eyes. “I’m sorry, N-ssi. Are you okay? Do you still want to continue this interview? We could reschedule it for another day. The magazine publication isn’t near the deadline yet too.”

 

I brushed off my tears and smiled at her. “No, no. I’m sorry I got too emotional. Shall we continue then?”

 

“Heart Sound is very popular now. People even branded it as the most heart-breaking song these days. You’ve told the song background already. Can I know how did you compose the song?”

 

“Two days after his sudden disappearance, I received a letter. I still keep it today too. Jaehwan wrote me a letter saying he was breaking our relationship. He told there that I have already reached my dream and so his role for me has come to an end. He said that I will no longer need him because people will love me now. He wrote that being together will only cause us pain. I cannot forget those last words in there. Let’s stop here Cha Hakyeon. Let’s end this before it will become too painful. Let’s stop loving each other.”

 

Miss Park just nodded which signaled me to continue narrating my painful past. “I didn’t know how I managed to live each day after that. I would promote my singles in those music stations like a robot. I was even branded as the coldest artist at that time. My management would scold me every single day but I didn’t care. I just wanted to leave everything behind. I didn’t know when it was when my CEO went to my apartment and beat me up until I couldn’t stand anymore. He said the words that I will never ever forget in my life. Do you want to just die, kid? It is easy to die! But damn, isn’t this your dream? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted ever since? Now what? You’ll throw it for someone who left you? Get a hold of yourself! You’re still young. If it happen that you met this guy again, don’t ever let him go. For now, prove him and yourself that you can grow without him.”

 

“Wow! I didn’t know that your company’s CEO is this passionate about his artists. He’s a good person, I can say.” Miss Park commented.

 

“After that incident, I went for a vacation. It was right after finishing the promotion for my debut. I went to an island and reflected everything that happened. It was then I wrote and composed this very song. It’s my heart’s story. I also changed my stage name into N. In Japanese, it means fate or chance. And for me this is my only destiny.”

 

“N-ssi, I feel so privileged to be the first one to know about the story of this song. Now I know why its words and melody is so heart-breaking to hear. One last thing, if you have any words for this guy who inspired you to write this song, what is it?”

 

I expected to be asked about this but it still caught me off guard. I closed my eyes for a while and the moment I opened it again, my heart sounded different once again. This unknown sound felt so familiar and I know I hear this sound for only one person. I looked at him as he made his way in the restaurant we are in. He, too, looked very surprised as he saw me. We then stared at each other’s eyes as I answer Miss Park.

 

“I would tell him that he’s such a fool. How could he be so coward to just leave me? How could he not explain everything to me? But then I would say, I miss you. It has been so long. Do you know how I managed to live this past year? Do you also know that I still keep a memory of you in my heart? My heart’s melody only belong to you. I can only hear my heart sound with you. Please come back to me now.”

 

I couldn’t hold it any longer. I stood and walked towards him. I didn’t waste any more time and wrapped him in my embrace as tight as the last time I did.