A/N: As requested by yoonggator. :) Hope you like it!

Living as someone’s mistress is hard.

Living as the mistress of a world-famous heiress is even harder.

And that was the life Seo Juhyun led for the past 7 years.

* * *

“You can’t come today? Why?”

Seohyun had her hands braced against the kitchen sink, the vegetables she was chopping lying forgotten on the side. Propped on the kitchen cabinet just level with her eyes was her cellphone, which was on speaker mode.

On the other end of the line, Yoona sounded apologetic. “Look, my parents… they want me to attend this dinner with our clients. I can’t afford to—“

“With Jessica.”

“What?” Yoona asked sounding startled, her voice cracking on the other end.

Seohyun’s nostrils flared. If Yoona could see her right now, she would immediately back off from her meeting. “With Jessica. You’re going to attend the dinner with her, right?"

“Well…”

“Well what?”

“Well, we are still married, so it can’t be avoided…” Yoona fell silent. She knew how Seohyun hated to be reminded of that fact.

“Seohyun?”

Seohyun tried her best to wipe away the angry tears in her eyes. She breathed in to steady herself, and spoke in a measured voice:

“What am I going to say to Yeri then?”

Yoona was silent for a few seconds, and only the soft static of their phone call could be heard. Seohyun heard Yoona sigh.

“Tell her… tell her I’m sorry that I can’t come to her birthday today.”

* * *

Seohyun walked out of the kitchen, too tired to even clean up. As she reached the sofa she saw little Yeri, sound asleep and curled up underneath her favorite blanket. As Seohyun made to lift her daughter, she saw a piece of paper sticking out from underneath Yeri’s blanket. Gently she pulled it from her daughter’s tiny fingers and read:

Im Yeri

Spelling Quiz: 20/20

As she looked at her sleeping daughter, Seohyun did not bother anymore to wipe the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

Must I always be like this? Always waiting for Yoona, always the second priority? But I knew the risk, I knew the risk of loving Im Yoona. I knew she was married, yet I chose to leave everything behind for her. I knew that I would always be second, and that Jessica will always come first.

Yes, she was stuck in a loveless marriage, a marriage for convenience… and I was her escape from all that. I was her reprieve, the one who liberated her from her stifling existence of money and fame in exchange of freedom... I gave her the love she will never get from her wife, the understanding that her family could never afford her, the pleasure and happiness of being truly one with someone…

But at the end of the day who will people recognize as her wife? Who will people say is the bad woman, the home-wrecker?

* * *

“Thinking about your mistress?”

Jessica approached her, holding a champagne glass in each hand. She drank from one and offered the other to Yoona, who refused.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well,” Jessica softly laughed, already used to Yoona’s mood whenever she was around, “I’m your wife. As in we were legally married and everything, don’t you remember—“

Yoona hissed. “I know that, but why are you here? Can’t you see I want to be alone?”

Jessica looked around and saw some of the guests looking at them, smiling. She then leaned in close and placed a hand on Yoona’s shoulder, giving her wife a sweet smile. To onlookers they looked like a couple exchanging sweet nothings to each other, but that was far from true: Jessica’s nails dug into Yoona’s skin, and her whisper was nothing short of a threat: “You better shape up, Im Yoona. You know everyone is watching, and our companies are at stake here. Now smile.” She broke away from Yoona, a smile still plastered on her face but her eyes cold as ice.

Yoona could do nothing but keep up Jessica’s act, so she smiled back, stood up, and kissed her wife’s cheek. “I’ve done what you want, now leave me alone.”

Jessica gave her a piercing glare because this was not her intended effect—to make Yoona drive her away—but she left nonetheless. As she passed Yoona’s driver she told him, “Keep an eye on her. And bring her home before she gets dead drunk.”

“Should I bring her to your place, madam?”

Jessica closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No. Take her to Seohyun.” She walked away and called her driver to her, head held high and her heart shattering with each step she took away from Yoona, who never looked her way again.

* * *

It’s been a while since Seohyun smoked.

The first drag she took choked her, and she coughed for almost a minute until she felt her lungs clear up.

Her second drag, while still uncomfortable, somehow made her remember the old feeling of taking repeated pulls on her cigarette while she was on stand-by at the set.

By the third drag, she was already holding the cigarette expertly between her index and middle finger, and the toxic smoke inside her lungs now felt friendly and familiar.

“I thought you already stopped smoking.”

Seohyun didn’t bother turning around, for she knew that it was the voice she loved and hated so much at the same time.

“Well,” said Seohyun matter-of-factly as she took in another pull, “I also thought that you were coming to your daughter’s birthday tonight. So in terms of disappointing each other, we’re even.” She turned around and saw Yoona, looking at her with an unfathomable expression. Could it be guilt? Sadness?

Yoona took a step towards Seohyun, tentative and unsure if her lover will allow her to come closer. “I’m sorry. I really am, Seohyun.”

“Sorry for what? For disappointing your daughter tonight? Well, it won’t be the last, so I’m pretty sure she’ll get used to it.”

Yoona took another step towards Seohyun, one hand outstretched. Seeing that her lover was not stopping her, she continued to walk until she was standing directly in front of Seohyun.

The smoke from Seohyun’s cigarette got in Yoona’s eyes and it made her eyes water, but she paid it no mind.

“Seohyun.” She took Seohyun’s left hand in both of hers and pressed them firmly, trying to express what a million apologies cannot.

Seohyun’s eyes started to sting from tears, and she looked away from Yoona. “What are you sorry for, Im Yoona? Tell me.”

Yoona looked at the hand she held in hers, now calloused from all the housework her lover had resigned herself to doing. These were far from the soft, smooth hands of the movie star that Seohyun once was, but for Yoona hers were still the most beautiful hands in the world.

“I am sorry… for everything. For tearing you away from the life you were used to. From forcing you to leave everything… when I myself cannot do that.”

Seohyun pursed her lips and was now unable to stop her tears from flowing. Yoona raised a hand to wipe away her tears, but Seohyun turned her face away.

They were silent for a few moments, when Seohyun finally spoke up:

“You’re a coward, Im Yoona.”

Seohyun looked directly at Yoona, and Yoona saw the hatred in her lover’s eyes. Her heart clenched and her mind rebelled against the label, but what can she do? It was the truth.

Seohyun roughly pulled her hand away from Yoona’s and started punching her, hitting everywhere her hands could reach.

“You—are—a—coward!!! COWARD!”

Yoona made no move to defend herself from Seohyun’s hits—she deserved each one of them and would gladly take more, if each hit would serve to lessen her guilt and the anger Seohyun has bottled up all these years.

“You!! I left EVERYTHING for you! Threw away my life, my family…! And all you can offer me is ‘sorry’? And what, a nice apartment where you could keep me hidden from everyone?” Seohyun’s cigarette caught Yoona on the arm and she gasped in pain, the burning after-effect lingering on in her skin along with the punches her lover was giving her. Yoona just closed her eyes and took in all the pain wordlessly.

Suddenly Seohyun stopped. Yoona opened her eyes and Seohyun was just standing in front of her, eyes red from crying and her cigarette now on the floor, crushed. Before Yoona could say anything Seohyun took her arm gently and looked at the cigarette burn she had given her, still painful from the searing heat and the skin now starting to chafe off.

Seohyun touched a finger to the burn and a gasp escaped Yoona’s lips. For some time they stayed like that: Seohyun intently looking at the burn she caused and Yoona just looking at her lover, everything spiteful that was said to her now forgotten because of the feel of Seohyun’s hand on her arm.

“I love you.”

Seohyun’s grip tightened on Yoona’s arm, and Yoona repeated her words:

“I love you, Seohyun.”

“You think that’s enough? That you love me?” Seohyun looked rebellious, but Yoona persevered.

“I love you, Seo Juhyun. I love you.” And she pulled Seohyun close to her, and for a moment they struggled—Yoona trying to pull Seohyun to her and Seohyun pushing her away—but Yoona won in the end, as she knew she will. She must. She had to.

“Don’t you have anything else to say to me?” Seohyun’s voice was muffled on Yoona’s shoulder, and she welcomed Seohyun’s warm breath on her shoulder.

“Just… I love you.”

“Aren’t you going to say sorry still?”

“I love you.”

Seohyun knew that it was all Yoona could ever say. Disappointment flooded through her, but despite that she still found herself reply with all her heart:

“I love you too, Yoona.”

And she dissolved into tears as Yoona hugged her close, her body racked by sobs for all the years that Yoona let her down and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to not love her anymore.

* * *

The next morning Seohyun rolled on the bed, the space beside her still warm but now empty. She sat up and the blanket slid off from her body on which Yoona gave her all last night, on which she sang praises with her hot lips and wrote poems of love with her deft fingers. It was those moments when Seohyun felt—at least momentarily—that everything was worth it, all the disappointments and hatred erased once Yoona’s lips were on hers and her body was trembling with pleasure under Yoona’s hands.

She turned to the bedside table and found a short note:

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

Seohyun crumpled the note in her hands as tears started to fall from her eyes. I love you still, Im Yoona. Despite everything.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was supposed to post this last week, but I got sick and a lot of things happened at the office. So here it is, an attempt at a YoonHyun angst. :P An attempt, because well I wasn't really sure if this is angst. Lol. This is unedited by the way, so apologies for any mistakes. O_O 

Comment down if you have requests, or any story prompts that you would give me the honor of writing! ^^ Thanks in advance \^0^/