Forever

♦♦♦

He looked at his phone, buzzing on the floor, and he felt paralyzed. Every cell in his body went numb, except for the ones in his heart; his heart was banging against his chest so fast that it hurt. Grabbing the phone and looking at the screen meant facing the reality. It could have been Minseok calling to tell him that he got out just fine, that he was alive, that he was coming back home. But it could have been the phone call to confirm his worst fears. He felt beyond weak, lying on the couch, exhausted by the simple act of existing. It was as if his mind and spirit left his body, as if he was floating in the space, empty and washed away from any emotions. And yet, at the same time, his body felt so heavy that he could not bring himself to even blink. But here he was, staring at his buzzing phone, with a knot crushing his insides, his chest decaying under the invisible force of immense pain, his lungs filling with water, that Jongdae imagined was sustaining his tears. He wanted to scream, yell, call out for someone, call out for Minseok, to help him, to embrace him, to tell him that everything would be fine; to be there with him. An act seeminly as simple as picking up the phone should not bring Jongdae as much trouble as it did.

The phone went silent, and Jongdae felt like he had died. But then it started ringing again, and the struggle started all over.

“Please,” he whisper inaudibly in his head, and putting all his effort that he could have brought himself to make, he grabbed the phone and slowly looked at the caller ID. Voice mail. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he answered and the phone dropped to the floor the moment Minseok’s voice filled the room.

“Hi, Jongdae, I don’t know when you’re gonna get it, the wifi on the train is terrible and I’m not sure my roaming actually works… well, I guess we’ll see once I get home and get my bill,” he laughed, and fresh tears ran down Jongdae’s cheeks. “Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t know when I’ll be able to talk to you again—” Jongdae clenched his fist over his heart, as if trying to grab it and pull it out of his chest. Anything to make the pain stop— “since because we missed our train in the morning we had to take another one, and we’re currently stuck at one of the stations,” Minseok explained, and Jongdae almost chocked on the air he quickly inhaled, “apparently something happened, and they cut all the railroads and roads to the city. I’ve no ide—”

The voice mail ended and Jongdae was holding it in his hand in a speed of light. He quickly dialed Minseok’s number. No answer. He tried again. No answer. And again. No answer. Again. No answer… Again… and again… and again…

“Pick up, please, pick up, please, pick up the phone, Minseok, pick up the phone,” the boy was chanting to himself, unaware of the passing of time, changing of hours or the fact that the morning became an early evening.

“Jongdae?” he finally heard on the other end, and the pain in his chest returned, “Jongdae, are you there? I’ve been trying to call you—” Minseok was speaking, but then he stopped, “Jongdae, are you alright?” he asked upon hearing soft sobbing.

“I thought you were dead,” Jongdae whispered, barely adubily, terrified of the words, as if they could still come true. “I thought—oh my god,” he cried out, throwing his head against the back of the couch, “I thought you were dead, Minseok!” he spoke out, his lips, arms and legs trembling.

“Jongdae—” the elder spoke softly, “I am alright. I am all right. Nothing has happened to me, to us, we’re all safe—”

“Come back home, Minseok,” Jongdae begged, “come back to me, now.”

The elder stayed silent, and Jongdae could hear softly trembling breath, and when his boyfriend finally spoke up, his voice was cracking, “I will be coming home shortly. I will be home soon, I promise.”

♦♦♦

Three days later, Jongdae was standing at the airport, nervously pacing back and forth. His heart still felt heavy, he was still nauseous, and he hadn’t slept since the phone call. He would not be able to rest until he has Minseok by his side, in his arms. Until he is sure it is not his brain mocking him. He needs to be sure.

The plane landed at exactly 3:45pm and fifteen minutes later Minseok walked through the door, entering the arrival area, and the moment his eyes landed on Jongdae he dropped everything and quickly made his way to the younger. Joungdae jumped at the elder, hugging him as tight as possible, wrapping his legs around the other’s waist, letting out a heavy sigh of relieve.

“My God, you are alive,” he whispered and his voice broke, and hot tears stained Minseok’s t-shirt. But none of them cared. Minseok had tears running down his cheek as well, as he kept to Jongdae for dear life, reaching his safe haven.

“I am,” he mumbled, “I am alive.”

They were both aware that the fact they got to share that moment at the airport was a miracle. Because after all, Minseok should have been alive. He should have been in San Martino that day. He should have been there when the avalanche came.

That night none of them slept. They laid in bed, their bodies intertwined, realizing there is nothing in life they can take from granted. They spent the night studying each other’s features, the smallest details, re-learning everything they thought they had already new. For that night, they refell in love with each other, this time, deeper, harder, and forever.

Sometimes in life (and certainly in fan fictions) happy endings do happen.