Infinite was doing a live concert. They’d done some back in February but I guess I was too preoccupied with things to attend one. I wanted to make sure that I attend at least one, though. And since I was an Infinite member’s girlfriend, getting in wasn’t a problem.

          I took a seat somewhere by the front with the VIP pass around my neck. Some fans noticed me and asked for autographs, awing at how I’d ‘come to support my ‘boyfriend’.

          Their concert was amazing. Their live singing definitely improved and their dancing was as crisp and in sync as ever. It was weird how I caught myself singing along to almost every single song performed, as if I already knew the lyrics. I wasn’t becoming a legit Inspirit, was I?

          After the concert ended I headed backstage. I spotted L immediately and ran up to him.

          “L-ah you did…” I trailed off as I realized who he was with.

          Kim Yerim.

          They were talking and laughing about something before I’d came, and it was abruptly stopped when I made my presence.

          “_______,” L said. There was something different about the tone of his voice. “What are you doing here?”

          “Yeah, what are you doing here?” Yerim repeated, although quite ily.

          “I came here to sell hot dogs,” I said sarcastically. “You idiot I came here to watch your concert, why else would I be here?” I shot Yerim a look. “And what are you doing here?”

She crossed her arms, her nose held up high again. “Myungsoo invited me here.”

          The expression of shock was written all over my face. “You…” I tried to find my voice. “You…invited her? And not me?”

          L sensed my reaction and reached out for me. “______, I—

          “I got to go.” Before he could reply I dashed out of there. I couldn’t believe myself. What was I thinking? Why would I attend an Infinite concert without telling him? Why would I attend one at all? I was basically setting myself up for humiliation.

          Our relationship was fake. I had no reason to care about him, or dig any deeper into his personal life. If I’d told Yerim off, it would show that I was clinging onto him, that I was getting attached. And I couldn’t get attached to him. I didn’t want to.

          I left the stadium. I drove as fast as I could away of it, feeling the anger burn inside of me. I drove home and sat in my living room, but I still couldn’t get him out of my mind. I felt so degraded and useless that I just wanted to sink down and cry. But, of course, I could never cry because of that kid.

          So I got up and took a walk. God knows where that’ll take me.

Them

          Myungsoo made a move to run after you but Yerim stopped him.

          “Myungsoo-ah,” she said sharply. “Don’t go after her.”

          “Why?” he asked.

          “She doesn’t care about you. If she doesn’t care about you than why should you care about her?” Yerim questioned.

          But doesn’t she care about me? Myungsoo thought to himself.

          “But I don’t want her to get the wrong idea,” Myungsoo said, not wanting to argue with Yerim’s statement. “I invited you because you asked. I didn’t know that she wanted to come too.”

          “Just don’t worry about her,” Yerim said. “You have other things to worry about, like the after party with the staff and crew. Me including. She has other things to worry about.”

          “Um…okay, I guess,” Myungsoo replied hesitantly.

          Yerim smiled in satisfaction and pulled him over to where the other members were. Myungsoo looked back at the direction you’d left. He couldn’t forget about the look on your face when you’d seen him and Yerim together. It haunted him; he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

          I hope she’s okay…

♫ 2AM - I Wonder if You Hurt Like Me          

“Hello?”

          “Hello? Who is this?” Jaejoong asked into his phone.

          “A worker at a local club. There is a woman here drunk out of her mind and we need her out of here. You were the second one on her speed dial,” the man said.

          Jaejoong scrunched his face in confusion. “What happened to the first person on her speed dial?” he asked out of pure curiosity.

          “Some guy she labeled ‘Dork’,” the worker replied. “We tried calling him first but he didn’t pick up so we called you.”

          “Oh…I see.” Jaejoong grabbed his coat and started heading out the door with keys in hand. “What’s the name of the club?”

          “Exo,” the worker replied.

          “Okay I’ll be right there.” Jaejoong hung up and started the ignition. His Bentley swiftly moved along the night streets of Seoul until he came across the club.

          Upon entering Exo, he spotted the worker by the bar. Sitting motionlessly on a stool with her head on the counter, was you.

          “What happened?” Jaejoong asked himself. He thanked the worker and proceeded to help you up. “_______, can you hear me?”

          Your eyes slowly opened and you goofily smiled at Jaejoong’s presence.

          “Jaejoong oppa!” you said drunkenly. “I love you!”

          “I love you too,” Jaejoong said sarcastically. “What happened here?”

          “A bastard,” you replied. “A stupid bastard whom I shouldn’t care about.”

          Did something happen between her and L? Jaejoong thought to himself. Whatever.

          “C’mon _______ I’m taking you home.” Jaejoong slung your arm around his shoulder but you could barely walk. He had no choice.

          With his strong arms, Jaejoong picked you up bridal style. You slurred some incoherent words and dug your head into his shoulder.

        “Babo,” Jaejoong mumbled to himself. “Why would you go get yourself drunk at a public club.”

          Jaejoong walked out of the club and suddenly heard your stomach grumble and you started coughing. Experienced with the effects of liquor and alcohol, Jaejoong knew what was coming next.

          He quickly put you down and you leaned over some nearby bushes. You barfed and Jaejoong stood beside you the entire time, patting your back and making sure that you were okay.

          The barfing seemed to have sobered you up a bit, but you felt dizzy. Jaejoong directed you back inside the club and told you to use the washroom. You obeyed.

          Once you cleaned yourself up a bit you suddenly felt really embarrassed about barfing in front of the idol you loved most.

          What was I thinking anyways? You thought. That kid shouldn’t be having this much effect on me.

          Jaejoong and you sat outside the club on a wooden bench, side by side. You looked down at your hands and sighed.

          “Thank you, Jaejoong oppa,” you said. “I’m sorry I had to…show myself in such a state in front of you like that.”

          “It’s fine,” Jaejoong replied. “I’ve seen worse haha with the members.”

          He still saw the embarrassed look on your face and added, “But you still looked pretty while, you know, barfing.”

          You managed a chuckle. “Um…thanks.”

          It was quiet for a moment, with only the cricket chirps and the occasional car engine being heard. Jaejoong decided to break the ice and said, “So…what happened?”

          “What happened?” you asked in response.

          Jaejoong nodded back to the club. “What made you go crazy?”

        “O-Oh…um…” you thought about what to say. “I just…felt like having some alcohol. That’s all.”

          “To that extent?”

          “I’m not very good with alcohol,” you said.

          Jaejoong still didn’t believe you and you knew it. But he didn’t say anything further about the subject as he nodded. “Uh huh,” he said. “Do you need me to take you home?”

          “No it’s okay oppa,” you said. “I can walk back.”

          “No way, I insist,” Jaejoong said. “I’m involved now. I can’t turn away without knowing that you’ll be alright.”

          “But I don’t want to trouble you more than I already did,” you said.

          “You’re not troubling me.” Jaejoong held his hand to me. “C’mon.”

          I stared at his hand for a while before taking it. He pulled me up and I got into his car. It was quiet ride back, although I wasn’t really in the mood to talk. I’d gone drinking because I wanted to forget about my feelings and the images of Yerim and L together. But now that I was somewhat sober, those images and feelings started coming back to me.

          Jaejoong turned around the corner and the car approached my house.

          “Hmm…,” Jaejoong mumbled, “look who’s waiting for you out front.”

          I straightened up and looked out the window to find L standing by my front door. His eyes roamed around Jaejoong’s car and he finally met eyes with me. His eyes widened.

          “Need me to walk you up?” Jaejoong asked.

          “No,” I said. “It’s fine. Thank you.”

          “No problem.”

          I got out of Jaejoong’s car and he drove away, although rather hesitantly. I waved goodbye.

          When I turned back to where L was, he was gone. I looked around and noticed that he was walking away to his car. I made a move to go after him – maybe to see what he was doing here at such an hour and to see what he wanted – but he’d already started the engine. I watched him as he drove away in the opposite direction that Jaejoong had gone. I wondered what he was going to say.

          I couldn’t sleep that night at all. I took a shower, watched TV, read a book, and a bunch of other stuff. But I just ended up tossing and turning.

          Maybe Jaejoong’s still up…

          I grabbed my phone and unlocked it, only to find that stupid picture of that Dork and me on that one night on Valentine’s Day.

          Dang it!

          I wanted to throw my phone across the room.

          Somewhere along the line, I did go to sleep. But I’d never had this happen to me before. Why was I so angry about L and Yerim together? I shouldn’t be behaving like this. It wasn’t important. Something was definitely wrong with me.