prounounced  'hana' ,  meaning:  flower

A  gift; exquisite, beautiful, a living object that brings inevitable joy to almost everyone.

Everyone talks about the beauty of a flower.

But what they never really say;

no matter how well you treat your flower,

how much time and love you devote to it;

the joy that a flower brings, it dies out just as fast. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I never really liked my name. Everyone had regular Korean names, 'Soyeon', 'Miyoung', 'Jaeyoon'. But mine was just plain and simple, Hana. 

I hated standing out. Having a Japanese name made it worse, girls would tease me about it all the time, and i hated it. No matter how much I tried to make myself invisible, I would always be the main target for bullying. They would say that I didn't belong to Korea just because of my name, which hurt, as much as it didn't make sense. I was called ugly, nerdy, all sorts of names. I was at a point where my self esteem was below negative, and i hardly uttered a word at school.

Any chance I had, i'd bury myself in books, deciding to study hard and graduate from hell. 

I thought my whole high school life would continue like this, until I met him.

Flashback

'Hey! That's the guy that kept staring at you yesterday when I called your name.' my older brother Minho said, pointing.

Minho was studying in the Seoul National University, and he'd send me to school (another reason to get bullied) so i didn't have to suffer long bus rides in the morning. I've told him before that I was 16, old enough to go to school by myself, but he wouldn't have it.

When I turned to look toward the field where boys were already playing, my breath caught.

He stood out from all the others, this new boy in better clothes than Victoria Beckham. The morning sun behind him put a sort of fiery halo above his light hair, so I couldn't really see his face that was in the shadow, yet I knew from the way he stood, tall and straight, not slouched like other boys, that i liked him right from the beginning. 

It was silly, of course, to like a complete stranger just because he had a certain kind of confidence that wasn't arrogance, only visible strength and poise. 

I glanced at Minho. Immediately, I knew why I liked the boy I'd never even seen before. Minho and the stranger had the a similar kind of natural grace and ease with themselves that came from knowing who and what they were. He knew what a loser I was at school, yet how could he stride so proudly beside me?

 I longingly wished I had his poise, his confidence, his ability to accept.

I looked back at the stranger. I'd never seen him before, and I assumed he was a new student. He stood out like a Christmas tree amongst all the other boys. Designer clothes, well kept hair - anyone who looked at him could instantly tell he was wealthy. 

I looked around. I wasn't the only one observing him, many girls had seated themselves comfortably on the benches, staring at him hungrily.

I flinched when I realised what I was doing. 

People like me couldn''t like people like him. It was probably his first day and already, he had all the pretty girls drooling after him. On my first day of school, nobody even took a second look at me. 

'He's coming here.' Minho said, knocking me out of my thoughts.

I looked in front of me. Crap! He really was. Did he see me staring!? What would I say to someone so dressed up? Each step that brought him closer put panic in my heart. I wasn't ready to meet anyone who wore Burberry coats to school.

I tried to sneak off to class but Minho pulled me back. 

I stared as the stranger's face came into view. As expected, a total pretty boy. 

'Hello.' he said, eyeing me. His voice was crisp and clear.

'Hi, i'm Minho.' my older brother said, holding out his hand. 

The stranger took it, although his twinkling eyes were still concentrated on me. By now, I was turning all shades of red.

'Uhh--' I stuttered, trying to get some words out of my mouth. It was obvious he was waiting for an introduction.

God bless the school bell that rang right at that moment. 

'I've got to get to class... bye.' I mumbled to Minho before running off. 

Those pair of eyes followed me all the way until I stepped into class.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Class went on normally. I'd completely forgotten about the stranger by the time classes ended. Socializing wasn't my strong point, but studying was, and I enjoyed doing things I was good at. 

I walked out of class cautiously, looking out for the mean girls. I sighed in relief when I saw that the coast was clear.

Happily, I walked to the cafeteria. 

I always sat alone during lunchtime. Many people threw me looks for occupying a whole table, but i didn't mind, food was too good to pass up. And it wasn't my fault no one wanted to sit with me anyway. I poked the straw into the carton and sipped my banana milk.

Then I felt a shoulder knock into mine. I turned slowly, afraid that one the girls had come to throw food at my face. But as soon as I saw who it was, I immediately wished that my face was splattered with kimchi. 

It was him again.

He had settled himself comfortably beside me. I was too shocked to even move.

'So.... your name is Hana.' he nodded knowingly and reached out for my bun. How did he know my name? I continued to stare at him.

He turned to look at me when I didn't answer and I went beet red, my head shot back down and i stared at my food.

'Y-yeah.. yours?' I managed to utter, my voice was just above a whisper. I was afraid of attracting the girls' attention by sitting with a pretty boy.

'Key. I'm Key.' he smiled a little before returning to his usual cold expression. 

Key.. I smiled to myself. It was an unusual name.

The introductions seemed to break the ice as I was talking to him more comfortably now. Occasionally, he would reach out and take my food but I didn't mind, I felt lucky enough to have someone like him even sitting next to me and he didn't buy his own food anyway.

'Why are you sitting here?' I asked, 'the pretty girls are over there.' 

'You're pretty.' he said nonchalantly, downing the last of my banana milk.

Pretty? He called me pretty? But no one's ever called me pretty before. Thoughts like these flooded my head and I shook them all off, convincing myself that it was just a passing remark and that he didn't actually mean it.

He nudged me. 'Let's go, we've got math class together now.' he pointed at my timetable.

I nodded and reached for my books but he snatched them from me. 'I'll carry that. Let's go.' he smirked when he saw the surprise on my face.

As we walked side by side, I could feel everyone staring in amazement and whispering about us. I could almost predict what they were saying, 'Why is he with the loser?' 'What is he doing? I'm so much better than her!' The thoughts made me cringe.

Every school day went on like this. Girls stopped bullying me, and instead glared at me with intense hatred as I walked down the school halls with Key beside me. I tried as best as I could to block out all the negative comments.

During weekends, we would text and call each other. 

Soon enough, we started dating.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A month later, it was safe to say that I was in love.

'You're not showing people your kind side but your weak side.'

I stood up for myself and stopped being teased at school.

'You're beautiful, but not everyone can see that. Show it off.'

I gave myself a makeover.

'With such a unique name like Hana, you're born to stand out.'

I stopped trying too hard to be invisible.

'You've brought so much joy to my life, you can do so to others.'

I made friends.

The little words Key said spurred me on, and I was happier than I'd ever been all my life.

Everyday I loved him more and more. And I could tell he felt the same way, from the way he looked at me, the way he hugged and kissed me, everything he did that made me feel special. Our love was like those on television, only better. 

Things went on like this for two years, and very soon we graduated high school, even deciding to go to the same University. 

But that happiness was shortlived - I was diagnosed with cancer.

That night I went home, I thought about all the plans I'd made for my future. All the plans i'd made with Key, my older brother Minho, my mother, plans i'd made for myself. Plans that would never be fulfilled. I thought about so much, my head ached.

That night, I fell asleep with tears streaming down my face. Tears I hadn't seen in a long time, since my life changed.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next day, things went on. I couldn't tell Key about my state when I hadn't even begun to accept it myself. 

Soon, the time we spent together became lesser. Most of the time I spent in the hospital doing chemotherapy, and other times I spent with my family.

Every minute we were together, I treasured like i'd never treasured anything before. But it hurt so much, thinking about how clueless he was about my illness. I felt as though I was leading him on, and a few months down the road I was going to leave him. I hated how happy I was to see him smiling around me, because deep inside it pained me to think I might not be able to see him like that anymore. 

The worse part was that I was beginning to accept it myself. I wanted myself to fight for my life, but I seemed to resign to fate, and accepted that I was going to die. 

And no matter how badly I wanted to keep my illness from him, time didn't allow it. My hair had started falling out due to the chemotherapy and a wig didn't cut it either. Key was starting to get suspiscious as to why I didn't even let him touch, let alone my hair anymore. 

So I broke the news to him.

'You're joking.' he'd said at first, a small, disbelieving laugh escaping his lips.

It took awhile to convince him that it wasn't all just a joke, though I wished it was. 

That night we talked about everything, all the memories, everything, and fell asleep.

Things changed after that night. I was now very sick, and had to be hospitalised. Key visited me everyday, and spent many sleepless nights at the hospital. At times when he wasn't with me, I'd go to the toilet to look at myself. 

I looked so weak, my hair was thinning, my skin was no longer radiant and glowing, but instead pale and cold. I felt ugly. So ugly.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Finally, I was at my weakest point. I knew I was going to die soon. 

I looked down at Key who had his head down on my lap, sleeping. I stared at him, taking in every bit of his face. I his soft hair, and placed a kiss on his lips. 

A few hours later, I passed away.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I looked grimly at the whole scene in front of me, my body on the hospital bed. 

Key woke up, reaching for my hand, only to find it cold and limp. He stared at my body for awhile, before he broke down, as realization slowly dawned on him.

'Look at the letter.' I choked out between my tears.

As if he could hear me, Key turned to the side table where I'd left a white paper with scribbles on it. I bit my lip, afraid Key wouldn't be able to read my handwriting. I was crying so badly when I wrote it.

Dear Key,

Thank you, for everything. All you've done for me, given me, felt for me. I want you to know that none of it went to waste. I've never been this happy. If only I could make time stop, I definitely would. But life doesn't work that way, does it? This time we've spent together, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

You always ask me what I like about you, and I'm always too shy to answer. But I'll tell you now. I love your confidence. I like how you're so sure about yourself all the time. Don't ever change that.

You always say I'm special, because I'm Hana, I'm a flower. And because of you, I'm starting to believe that. Everytime I'm around you I do feel like a Hana. But flowers don't live forever, and I'm no exception. They wilt and fade away, just as I will.

Always remember, even when i'm gone, i'll still be watching you from above. And you know how much I hate seeing you sad, so don't be sad. Move on, remember that i'm not the only flower in the world.

I love you, Kim Kibum.

Hana.

I watched as Key started to cry even more. I flinched at every tear that fell from his perfect face.

-End of flashback-

It's been six years since I died, and i'm still watching over Key. 

He's moved on, and is married now. As much as it hurts seeing him with another girl, it's all worth it when I see him smile, the way he used to smile at me. Once in awhile he does think of us, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can tell he's happy, and that's all that matters.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: I'm so disappointed in myself! I made the whole thing so long :( it's not even a oneshot anymore... and it got a little messed up in the middle, writer's block ughh （x_x；） didn't turn out the way I expected it to... NOT GOOD WITH EMOSHUNS JIFOSHDIOF ok enough of my nonsense. please comment~ (●⌒∇⌒●)