“He’s still not picking up?”

Kyungsoo stares blankly ahead for a couple of seconds before he finally gives up waiting, he exhales deeply and pockets his phone in his coat’s pocket. “I’m tired, Baek.” The doctor says in reply to his friend’s question.

Sick and tired of holding onto the hope that he will appear in front of me; sick and tired of convincing myself that I mattered to him.

So he gives up.

Baekhyun holds onto Kyungsoo’s arm worriedly when the latter slumps into his side. He also sees from the corner of his eye Sehun greeting some guests who have just arrived in place of Kyungsoo, who was obviously too out of it to function normally. Sehun taps at his watch and jerks his head sideways when he meets Baekhyun’s eyes to signal that it’s almost time.

“The ceremony is about to start soon, Soo.” Baekhyun nods back to Sehun in acknowledgment and grips Kyungsoo’s shoulders firmly to gently steer him towards the front of the crowd – people naturally parting to make way for them when they recognize Kyungsoo, though the latter doesn’t pay attention to the faces around him. He doesn’t know who most of them are anyways – the General’s colleagues? Politicians? Kyungsoo hasn’t spent much time with his father over the years that he could proudly say he knows each and every one of them.

Sehun spares a glance at Kyungsoo before arching his eyebrows at Baekhyun when he arrives to stand beside the pair. “No answer…” The latter mouths at Sehun over the top of Kyungsoo’s head – they didn’t need to try and be so discrete though, to not let the other hear them for Kyungsoo himself was already spacing out as they wait for his father’s casket to arrive – and the youngest in their trio fumes inwardly when he comes to know of Jongin’s disappearance.

Kim Jongin, or more affectionately named in Kyungsoo’s phone – my prince. He and Baekhyun had managed to find out that their friend was in the beginning stages of a relationship with the captain he’d pulled away the day the military sent in a soldier (Chanyeol) to be patched up. The two friends had been stunned to find out that the ever busy and ever unapproachable Do Kyungsoo had another friend out of their small circle. A boyfriend to be exact. And through weeks of interaction in the hospital, Sehun and Baekhyun have been witnesses to how the usually impassive man has stepped aside to make way for a new side of him – brighter and not so closed-off. They like this new Do Kyungsoo (and they frequently whenever he receives a call from Jongin and tries to act like he hadn’t been anticipating it).

So when Kyungsoo’s dad had fallen victim to an assassination, and the doctor himself had failed to save his sole remaining family member; naturally Kyungsoo was distraught despite not being all that close to the General. They had seen how their friend tried to call up Jongin because surely his presence would help in easing the pain. But after repeated failures to reach the other, Sehun and Baekhyun had also seen how Kyungsoo crumbled.

The said male stiffens and glances up when trumpets sound before a short procession enters the graveyard, making its way to where their group stands in front of a hole in the ground – the final resting place of his father. He feels his knees buckle when he catches sight of the portrait in front of the coffin, and for a second, Kyungsoo thinks back to three days ago – when he was staring down at that same face on the operating table, hands coated in his father’s blood.

He must thank Baekhyun and Sehun for holding him steady as the rest of the ceremony proceeds. A military send-off is sure different from the usual, but Kyungsoo wonders how different can they be if ultimately people – loved ones, still leave in heartbreak.

“Your father is a good man. I am sorry for your loss.” A senior official from the Armed Forces comes forward to speak to Kyungsoo after the funeral is more or less at its end, though many are still crowded around the covered grave several metres away from where they now stand in the shade, relaying their parting words to the General.

Sehun lets out a little sound of recognition when a military officer accompanying the senior official passes Kyungsoo his father’s portrait and a plaque, sparking curiosity from Baekhyun beside him who hasn’t seen that man before. “My condolence as well, Mr Do. I was one of the men General Do led, and I cannot be more grateful for his guidance over the years.” Kyungsoo, who was previously in a daze, actually looks up at Chanyeol after he stops speaking. He’s one of Jongin’s comrades, isn’t he? Does that mean… The doctor’s head whips around frantically, desperately, as if he has just been given hope that Jongin came.

Kyungsoo thinks he sees a familiar back walking away from his father’s grave, and his arms fall slack at once. Ignoring the cries of his name from both Baekhyun and Sehun, and the concerned asks after him from Chanyeol and the senior official, he sprints across the rows of headstones towards his father’s. Jongin? Kyungsoo mutters soft apologies as he tries to make his way past a gathered group of people. Jongin, please. Wait. He cranes his neck over shoulders, desperately trying to get a glimpse of the man walking away, but ultimately when Kyungsoo comes to a halt by the grave, the familiar figure was gone from his sight.

“Soo! What happened… you scared me.” Baekhyun grabs onto his arm as soon he reaches him, having followed to check on him. “Soo?” The other tugs on his arm lightly, but nothing can take away Kyungsoo’s eyes from the white hyacinth on the ground and the single chain of army necklace beside it. I was right… The doctor slides down onto his knees and picks up the small little metal plate.

One more time you leave me, I’m not going to let you off. Kyungsoo thinks back to the promise he made himself and stares down at the name on the necklace – Kim Jongin. He isn’t sure why the other stopped contacting him all of a sudden; he can only assume that the other has lost interest in him, or has been playing him from the very start. “I’m letting you go.” Kyungsoo whispers, and he tries to will the first tear away. Because if one falls, he isn’t confident he can keep the rest from following suit.

=====

<3 months later>

Jongin sighs and stays on his bed awhile longer, still tired after a long night outside and only catching sleep at the approach of dawn. His eyes falls on his phone’s lock screen, and instead of smiling at the sight of it like how he’d did in the past, now all he can do is grimace as a wave of guilt washes over him when looking at Kyungsoo’s face. “You’re a coward, Kim Jongin.” He berates himself.

Three months. He’d set a new record for not establishing any form of contact with Kyungsoo for three long months. The last time Jongin had seen the other guy was at General Do’s funeral. He had only stayed for a short while – dropping off some flowers, saying his goodbyes, and silently praying for forgiveness. He could barely watch Kyungsoo then – the man so desolate – being supported on both sides by Sehun and his other friend throughout the ceremony. It was eating him up from the inside, the guilt – he’d taken the life of the other’s sole remaining family member. It hurts even more when he knows how much Kyungsoo had wanted to reunite with his father.

Besides wallowing in his depressing thoughts, Jongin had also spent the past three months investigating. He knew General Do to be a righteous man, dignified in all that he does, and definitely not corrupted in any sense. So why would the two cabinet members want to kill him? Jongin had always assumed that his targets were corrupt officials or personnel that threatened the national security of their country. Had he been wrong all this while? If his past missions were all unwarranted killings, he feels cheated.

Jongin hates to think that the government has been using him — that they’ve made him a murderer instead. That’s why he vowed to get to the bottom of this. He’d even taken to following the two cabinet members around, resorting to taking time off from work to shadow them in a bid to surface anything suspicious. Chanyeol has even begun to ask him questions about his absence; his best friend has been persistent and he can’t fathom why.

And Jongin had identified something suspicious. After last night’s visit to this particular club in Gangnam – he’d found that the two officials often visit that particular establishment under thick disguise, and they would always enter from the back door – the hitman had picked up on something familiar. Jongin shakes the sleepiness out of his system and stands to gather from his hidden drawer all the weaponry the cabinet members had given him and lays it out on his bed in a rush. I swear I’ve seen that nightclub logo before. Jongin had gone through all of them once, but nothing had stood out to him then, even the mobile phone he used to contact them yielded no clues.

That’s it! He picks up the cartridge of bullets and inspects them one by one. They all have the club’s logo imprinted at a small corner of the shell. “They must have gotten these firearms from the club then.” Jongin exhales deeply. But the real question was what kind of nightclub deals firearms though? “Unless they’re linked to the black market… the Mafia?” That realization came to him all of a sudden. Could the two of them be linked to the Underground?

If that is true, it would mean that Jongin had indirectly been working for the Mafia all along. He curses himself for not suspecting anything when the two officials had first approached him prior to making him their hitman. Jongin was fraught with anger – to think he’d worked so hard to eliminate targets he assumed to be corrupted men, only to find out that he’d been working for corrupted people since the beginning.

He quietly dresses himself and loads a couple of guns before concealing them with his clothes. There was only one thought on his mind – he was aiming for a confrontation. Jongin considers calling Chanyeol and bringing him along for support, but he thinks twice about implicating his best friend in something possibly quite dangerous and he aborts that idea at once. Nightfall – that’s when the two higher-ups usually sneak into the club. Jongin loads his gun magazine expertly and gives himself a determined stare through the mirror. He will get answers and make things right again.

=====

“No. No. No. What is he doing here?!” Jongin mouth falls open in horror as he stays hidden in a dark alley near the back entrance of the nightclub, Marco Vintage. It was still an hour away from the time his targets usually arrive, but it was the recognition of someone else that takes him by surprise. Someone he hasn’t seen in three long months. He takes a hesitant step out of the shadows, watching as Kyungsoo ducks behind a pillar before furtively making his way to the back entrance of the club. The doctor looked scared but determined, as if he was somewhere he shouldn’t be, but somewhere he needed to be at the same time.

And it’s true. He shouldn’t be here! Jongin grabs his hair anxiously, worried for the safety of the other (especially if this was Mafia territory), before he decides to throw all his plans out of the window to follow after the other. His priority has now obviously shifted – Kyungsoo’s safety taking precedence over everything else.

There was no one stationed at the back entrance surprisingly. Jongin studies the half-open door and only enters when he confirms there was no one hidden behind it, waiting in ambush. His hands were holding on tightly to his own Walther P99, ready to fire at a moment’s notice. Jongin walks down the semi-lit hallway vigilantly. Where is Kyungsoo? Muffled sounds of the bass booming from the club out front vibrated off the walls he creeps along, but the noise doesn’t prevent him from picking up the soft shuffling of feet somewhere to his right. Jongin whips around at once and points his gun in the direction of another narrower hallway.

“Kyungsoo.” He whispers softly under his breath when he spots a small figure crouching down near an open door– the doctor had hesitated in front of the lit room. The other was obviously not very stealthy, even though he attempted to be, and panic courses through Jongin’s veins when he spots Kyungsoo’s shadow visible through the doorway. If the room had occupants, they would be able to spot the man at once. Wait, Kyungsoo! Jongin almost shouts, but it’s too late for the other had burst into the room after taking a quick peek in.

“Kim Junmyeon!” He hears Kyungsoo shouting in an accusatory tone. Jongin rushes forward and stops by where Kyungsoo had been crouching previously, ready to burst in to save the other at any moment. He darts over to the other side of the door so that he had sight of the situation. It would appear that the room was bare apart from Kyungsoo and another man who were standing facing each other.

“I knew there was something not quite right about you…” Kyungsoo spits at Junmyeon. “It’s your father right? Your father, Kim Taek Woon, had my father killed!” He accuses. Jongin stills in recognition of the name being one of the cabinet members who gives him his kill list. “You see this emblem on this bullet shell? This was the bullet that killed my father. I did some digging, and guess where it led me to? Here!” Kyungsoo snaps and lunges at the other with a pretty impressive battle cry.

Junmyeon easily sidesteps Kyungsoo though and whips out a gun, training it on the latter. At the appearance of the weapon, Jongin makes his presence known as he runs in and stands in front of Kyungsoo, blocking the other with his body. “I’d have a bullet between your brows even before you can think of pulling the trigger.” He doesn’t even budge when the gun wavers in Junmyeon’s hand (it was obvious that the other was an amateur in handling a weapon; he only had one for times when he had to protect himself it seems). Jongin also doesn’t budge when he feels Kyungsoo’s hands clutching weakly at the back of his jacket.

“J-Jongin?” The doctor whispers, half in surprise and half in disbelief. He’d missed Jongin; he’d missed the other’s nearly hourly calls; he’d missed the other’s face no matter how much he tells himself he doesn’t. He hadn’t been in contact with the other since the day he lost his father (not forgetting the day of the funeral). He doesn’t realize how much he’d truly missed him until this moment. This was his first time seeing the soldier wielding a gun and Kyungsoo was impressed. He stares up at Jongin’s hostile face before his eyes dart over to watch Junmyeon.

“Stay behind me, Soo.” Jongin’s left hand reaches out to pull Kyungsoo back behind him when the latter had taken a step out to the left, right hand still holding his gun steady. And Kyungsoo feels safe behind Jongin’s broad back, even if there was a gun on them.

“Who are you?” Junmyeon shoots out at Jongin before he mutters a softer “Never mind” and takes a step sideways so that he could see Kyung