Birthday. The day I was born into this world. A day that comes and goes every year. A day I have waited for 364 days but for it to pass like the wind. The day passed so fast that before I knew it, it has become a memory again.

I am not a person that celebrates birthdays, there is nothing happy about being older but she like birthday actually all the festive days. Birthday becomes one of the days I actually anticipated because I can always spend the whole day with her alone, well until recently.

23:59 pm.

Lying on my bed, staring at my phone, more specifically at the four tiny little numbers located at the top of my phone. ‘Just a minute left, seconds actually’ I told myself. Just a few more seconds I will be officially 31 years old. Becoming older wasn’t exactly exciting but receiving a birthday message from her is. We used to give a handwritten letter for each other during birthday but now I am the only one continuing our tradition.

Suddenly my phone vibrates, indicating an incoming message. I immediately look at the sender’s name, only to my disappointment that she is not the person I am waiting for. It was Yuri, she wished me happy birthday and not forgetting to insult my height, hoping that I will grow taller. After her, I received a few other birthday messages from my friends but none of them are from her. Although I have expected it but still secretly hope that she will surprise me during midnight. I reread and reread our conversation an hour ago.

‘Hey, Tae are you free the day after?’ 22:51
‘I need a new dress for Nichkhun oppa’s party’ 22:51
                                                                           ‘Yea Im free, I will pick you up?’ 22:51
‘Okay’ 22:52
‘Bye gonna sleep early, today was tough’ 22:52
                                                                           ‘Bye goodnight’ 22:52

Does she even remember it’s my birthday tomorrow? Recently it’s all about that Nichkhun, our conversation is getting shorter and shorter. She only texted me when she needed me or she will talk about her day with that guy. It’s no longer about us, there are no more friendly dates. 

I saw my reflection on my phone, a pair of eyes that were filled with sadness was looking back at me. My phone’s screen light up again, a message from Sunny, instead of replying the message, my eyes focus on my lock screen. It was a photo of her kissing my cheek, I can still remember how stunned I was when her soft lip touches my cheek. Flashbacks of me and her start to float through my mind again, the first time we talk, our first friendly date, our movie dates, the day she gave me a key necklace and jokingly said that I am the only one with the key to her heart because only I can open the lock necklace on her neck. 

Tears start to flow out of my eyes. I cry again because of her, I cry because I have made a decision, I cry because it was time to face reality. I cry myself to sleep because it will be the last time I cry for her.

From: Soonkyu
‘You won’t believe what I saw! Fany and Nichkhun are kissing in GG club now, did she tell you she is dating him?’ 00:27