With the sense of desire from this encounter, Yooeun felt a newfound urgency to find someone. That night, he left his house and headed toward the gay area in Itaewon. 

It was a shame. He was almost twenty two, and if he were straight, he was confident that he would’ve dated multiple times already. Girls liked the way he looked, and he had no problems being charming and friendly to girls, mostly because he wasn’t intimidated by them in the same way that straight guys were. 

So he would have deep, cosmic conversations with girls, revealing his soft intimacies and being genuinely goofy self aound them. All the while, they would slowly fall for him. The way he felt honest connections with these girls sequestered them as friends, not lovers. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried, either. He tried to convince himself that he liked girls, and it had almost worked for a while. 

But he didn’t need to try to convince himself as he saw the boy from the subway again as he walked into a gay bar in Itaewon. 

He blinked and blinked again. Was it him again? He was wearing the exact outfit from earlier. A well fitting tee and slim jeans, with chunky white trainers. It was most definitely him. 

Yooeun had never been to a bar by himself. What was he supposed to do? Sit by himself? Wait for someone to approach him? He hadn’t thought this far. He stumbled in, knowing it was too late to leave. The bar was bustling and dark with flashing strobe lights. He decided to walk past the boy and sit deep in the corner where he wouldn’t draw too much attention to his aloneness. 

As he slid by where he was sitting, Jungkook swiveled himself around on the barstool, tripping Yooeun with his foot. 

As Yooeun tripped forward, Jungkook grabbed his shoulder and regained his balance. 

“My bad,” Jungkook said with a knowing irony on his face. "I didn't see you there,” he said in jabbing tone, almost as if his real intent was specifically to trip him. Illuminated by pale LEDs from the bar table, Yooeun was taken aback by how pretty he was up close. 

Yooeun picked up on the banter quickly. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m going to sit at a table back there— want to come over so you can trip me again over there?”

“Thought you’d never ask. What’s your name? Would you mind if I sat down with you for a bit?”

After the introductions, they sat across from each other at the booth table. Yooeun was nervous, and he couldn’t get the light jitters out of his body. He hadn’t ever been on a proper date, because before he came out, if it wasn’t with a girl it would be with nobody. What was one supposed to do on a date? Should he slouch a little, or was that too casual? What do they talk about?

“I recognized you from the subway earlier today. That was you, right?” Jungkook said. Yooeun didn’t expect him to be so forward.

“Yeah, I recognized you too. What were you doing at E-Dae?”

“Just meeting up with some old friends, eating some cheap pho,” Jungkook said. “You look new,” he said as he looked Yooeun up and down. “Is this your first time?”

“How did you know?” Yooeun asked.

“The gay community is tight-knit around here. Everyone knows everyone’s face, even in a big city like Seoul.”

“I am new,” Yooeun said. “I only came out a couple of months ago, so this is all brand new to me.”

“Really? How old are you?” Jungkook asked. He leaned back on the booth seat and crossed his arms. Smiling, he said “Wow, that probably means you never dated before. You’d be really popular with the boys here.” 

“No, I don’t think so,” Yooeun said. 

“What are you talking about? With that face?” Jungkook said. “Hey waiter, could we get bottle of soju please?” He turned to Yooeun and said, “You’re not opposed to drinking, right?”

“No, not at all,” Yooeun said. 

“Do you know about drag culture? Have you gone clubbing before?” Jungkook asked. 

“I’ve only gone straight clubbing a couple of times with my friends. I know what drag is, but I’ve never gone to a show or anything.” 

The waiter came around with soju, and Jungkook tapped it on his elbow before pouring Yooeun a drink. “You’re in for a good time. You don’t have anything to do tomorrow, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” Yooeun said, smiling mischievously. 

So after talking about their families, the process of coming out, their future and their ambitions, and a couple more rounds of shots— “Don’t drink too much, you’ll regret it” Jungkook said— they went out to the warm streets of Itaewon, streets pleasantly damp from a light mist earlier that night. Spirits light and body buzzing, Jungkook took him to the underground clubs where they danced to loud Sunmi singles and watched drag queens dancing on poles. It felt so new to Yooeun, this dreamlike euphoria of blustering music and gentle intoxication.

They ankled out of the bar and to a local park, where they sat on the now dried grass and gazed at the stars. As the spinning world around them began to level, Yooeun glanced at him. How could everything feel so right? All of a sudden, someone who he thought would be so out of reach was so close. Is this what it felt to go on a date with a guy? Is this the feeling that he had expected from girls for all his life? 

Maybe it was because he was so inexperienced, but he could feel himself falling for Jungkook already. His kindness, his lighthearted nature, his smiling face and his gentle eyes. Yooeun slowly rested his crimped leg on Jungkook’s, measuring his response intently. He felt the warmth of Jungkook's skin penetrating through the fabric of his jeans.

Jungkook didn’t turn to look at him, but Yooeun could see the corners of his eyes slope into a soft smile. Jungkook’s hands, planted on the grass supporting his weight as he leaned back, inched toward Yooeun’s. His fingers lightly brushed at the flat of Yooeun’s hand, and Yooeun could feel the sparklers in his heart, alight and jittery.

Velvet and firecrackers. As Yooeun grinned and turned to face Jungkook, he was struck by his beauty and stared in awe. Jungkook leaned forward to nip at his mouth with the soft of his lips. He pulled away and smiled. It felt like velvet and firecrackers.

Jungkook leaned toward him again to feel his lips once again, but Yooeun craned his head back teasingly and smirked, pulling himself out of reach. Jungkook laughed. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Jungkook said as he got up and brushed himself of grass blades. 

“Huh what? No, I was just kidding. Sit back down.” Yooeun said indignantly. 

“No, I think that’s enough for one night,” Jungkook said playfully as he turned away from him and scratched his head. “I'll walk you back to the station. You should get some rest.”

“When can I see you again?” Yooeun asked.

“We’ll see. Come on, let’s go.” Jungkook said. 

***

Yooeun woke up the next morning with a slight headache at two in the afternoon, and the first thing he did was check his phone. They had traded Kakao IDs the day before, and he was hoping he had texted Yooeun after he woke up.

No notification from Jungkook appeared on his screen.

Disappointed, he went to the kitchen to to make some ramyun to soothe his hangover symptoms. Waiting for the water to boil, he leaned on the counter and nervously rapped on the counter with his chopsticks. Had he not woken up? He thought. Maybe he did wake up but he just doesn’t care enough to talk to me again. But then again, he thought, why didn’t Jungkook pursue him further if it was really a one night stand to him? Who would hang out with him all day like that just to ghost him?

The pot overflowed with boiling water, snapping him out of the reverie. With one hand he pulled out his phone as he began to make the ramyun. He clicked on Jungkook’s profile picture and looked at it longingly. He was so good looking, he thought.

He looked at the chat inbox again, still empty of conversation. A message from Jungkook arrived while the screen was still on, setting off the read receipt. He almost dropped the phone.

“You said you had nothing to do today, right?” Jungkook had typed. 

He set his phone down and cracked some eggs into the pot. He would not reply immediately, he told himself. He would wait until he finished eating. 

As he sat down with his meal, he couldn’t stop looking at the message. He opened the chatroom again, staring at his words. How lucky he was to receive a message from him. His heart was racing. He couldn’t keep still. Another message appeared in the chatroom. 

“I know you read my message. Are you trying to play hard to get?” It read. The read receipt was set off once again.

“Nooo!” He groaned as he plopped his head on the kitchen table. What should he say?

“I’m going to make you wait an hour or two for a reply. Enjoy the anticipation.” He sent with an emoji of Kakao Ryan winking at the viewer.

Yooeun was surprised to receive another reply almost immediately. 

“No please don’t, when are you free? There’s only so many more hours left today.” 

He was struck by the message’s vulnerability and what seemed like a genuine expression of interest.

“I still feel a little off-kilter from all the alcohol. Are you free after five today?”

“Make that four. I have something to show you.”

Yooeun could hardly contain his excitement. “I want to say five for now, but I can be swayed,” he wrote. He finished his food and collapsed into his bed, hugging his pillow as the sunlight bouncing off the bedsheets illuminated his room a resplendent white.