Hanbin's hold tightened.

He could feel how Jinhwan grew stiff in his embrace. How the other immediately tried to pull away as if his skin was burnt the moment it touched his. How Jinhwan tried to get free from his hold in a subtle resistance. How Jinhwan tried to slip away from his world, from him. 

Hanbin's heart clenched.

His Jinhwan never refused his touch.

Nor did he ever try to avoid the eye-contact from him.

Unlike what he did now.

Hanbin blamed destiny that things had to change a lot now.

No, he hated life for changing the Jinhwan he used to know best.

But Hanbin loathed himself more because he should have noticed it all earlier, though in fact, he did not.

When did he start to change..?

How did everything go wrong along the way..?

Why was I too busy with my own world that he had to seek comfort from others, when my arms were once the only home for him to return to..?

If only I were there to give him all attention and love he needed, would things turn out differently?

Would he stay by my side, so I would be able to stare right into his soul as he laid before me at midnights, sharing funny stories while we snuggled close to each other, just like we used to do every day?

"The airplane is going to board soon, Hanbin," Jinhwan's soft whisper brought Hanbin back to the reality, his small voice was almost blown away by the cold wind, "Please, let go of me."

"Let go?" Hanbin repeated, a pair of hawk eyes prying for honesty in the beautiful dark orbs in front of him.

If you say that and leave now, you think I'd be fine?

Jinhwan wetted his lips and answered calmly, even though he stared at anything but Hanbin.

"Yes, please.. I need to go now, Junnie is waiting—"

Jaw hardened, his blood was soon boiled by the wrath as his soul screamed in hatred for the blond who had stolen Jinhwan from him.

How dare he take you away from me—

For once, all Hanbin could see was red, his head kept buzzing in bottomless irritation.

You are forever mine. Only mine. Mine to hold, mine to feel, mine to love, minemineminemine-

"To hell with him!” Hanbin seethed with venom, fire flared from his eyes in the darkness of the night, “I don’t give a whether or not your Junnie waits for you! That’s not my ing business!”

Jinhwan flinched, his expression went dull, although the sharpness laced his voice,

“Oh, but I do care, though— Kim Hanbin,"

Jinhwan's voice sounded firmer now as he pushed him by the chest with all will, his eyes were still it made Hanbin wonder:

Who was the figure he saw in front of him? He was so close, yet he felt so distant.

Did it how Hanbin make Jinhwan feel all this time whenever they were together?

No, baby, please— listen to me.

I promise I'd be good, and you'll be good, too.

"Then what?" Hanbin lowered down his tone once he realized his voice was almost cracking, the thin line on his lips got bolder as he brought himself to mop in sorrow, "You expect me to be fine and live on with that?"

"Hanbin, you gotta realize that this is the best for us; I only wish the best for you—"

"The best for me?" Hanbin chuckled, although it sounded hollow and soulless, the spark of life in his eyes had dissipated as the emptiness had long taken over him, "For Heaven's sake, Jinhwan, how am I supposed to carry on, now that I've been craving for you for so long?"

Hanbin could see Jinhwan was wavered as a brink of tears filled those eyes which Hanbin loved the most.

"But it will be fine," the older muttered, barely audible, nervous fingers worked to play with the tail of his shirt— a habit when Jinhwan was unsure of something, "as time passes by, the wound will heal, and we will be fine- you will be fine... without me," 

No. Please, no. Stop pretending to be calm, there are tears in your eyes. 

He sneered.

"Then, tell me one thing before you go," Hanbin started, and when Jinhwan stayed quiet, he took it as a signal for him to proceed, "Tell me.." locking his eyes with Jinhwan's, he whispered; and God, for the almighty Kim Hanbin, his voice once sounded so quiet and small, so broken, "how am I supposed to live without you, when you know you are all that I've been living for?"

Baby, please-

Just one more day,

Just one more hour,

Just one more minute,

Please, lemme say one thing— 

"I love you, Jinhwan," Hanbin choked out, his voice was hoarse as his vision got blurry from the hot tears that threatened to flow down. And this time, Hanbin did not even bother to cover it up. He let the crystals to trickle down, slowly. His cheeks were wet from the tears he despised the most, but he did not even care. Not when he was the reason why Jinhwan walked out of his life. "I really, truly love you," 

Let's just come home, and unpack now-

Stay with me, just one more day-

I promise if you give me another chance, I’d treat you right this time.

I'd bring you to the movie theater you always wanted to go. Take you out on dates you always craved for. Give you the sunflowers you always loved for our every anniversary. I’d even hand over the entire galaxy just for you-

Just please— 

Please, don't leave.

Because baby, you and I, it is forever.

Hanbin swallowed the hard lump inside his throat again and again, but still, he was tongue tied, as he had always been.

"Well then- it's too late now, Hanbin."

— and once again, Hanbin's world went cold and dark, as it all was.