Jay and I had been dating for a while. We had met each other at our friend's party. He had immediately caught my eyes with his awesome looks. When he had showed off his dance skills, I had completely lost control. Soon enough, he had approached me. We had left together in order to have an intimate moment.

          The following day, he had sent me a message as he had wanted to take me out on a date. It had been the best date of my life. He had taken me to a fancy restaurant and I had enjoyed a delicious meal. Then, we had left to go to a pub. We had had a great time and I had felt myself falling for him.

 

          A knock on the front door of my apartment startled me as I was focusing on my make-up. Jay was standing there, with chocolates and flowers, a typical cute guy. That was only the surface though. If one looked closer, Jay wasn't so innocent. He was a hot man who knew too well the effect he had on women.

 

"Darling, you're absolutely gorgeous !"

 

          I was wearing a short navy blue dress. It was my favorite color. I wasn't wearing high heels as he had previously told me not to. My hair fell free on my shoulders and my make-up was natural. I had put on the bracelet he had gotten for me on my birthday. Usually, I wouldn't wear jewelries. But this one was precious to me.

 

"Thank you !" I said with a smile.

"Let's go."

 

          Jay extended one hand and I let him guide me to his car. Then, he started driving to an unknown place. He wouldn't tell me where we were going. This man was full of surprises. That was one of the things I liked about him. We were never bored as he would always think of a plan to have fun.

          A few minutes later, we reached the Han River. I was surprised at the sight of a basket on the back seat of the car. He had never taken me out on a picnic. We would usually go to restaurants or clubs. Jay grabbed my hand to guide me to a good spot. He took a blanket out of the basket and asked me to sit down, which I did.

 

"I thought it would be nice to enjoy this sunny day." he started.

"It's a great idea ! Thanks for bringing me here."

"Well, I hope you'll like it because it's just about you and me."

"Spending time with you is the best." I confessed.

"I'm still sorry for what happened last time. That's why I wanted to help you forget about it."

 

          On our last date, I had met him at a popular club. We had been enjoying our time together when a woman had come to him. She had been pleased to see him again. Their special relationship had made me feel uneasy. It hadn't been the first time a woman had approached him, however, this one had ruined our date.

 

"Don't you feel sorry anymore." I asked. "It's not your fault if you're so popular."

"It is. I've dated so many girls."

"Hmmm.. let's not talk about that."

"What's with your face ?" he giggled. "Look at you, feeling jealous all of a sudden."

"Of course I am jealous ! I don't want to talk about your past affairs."

 

          He was about to say something when, once again, someone interrupted us. I couldn't believe that we couldn't have a quiet time in a place like that. I could understand that the women Jay had known still hung out in bars or dance clubs. But here, at Han River, it felt incredible. It seemed like fate was trying to bring us down.

 

"Jay, it's you !" said the stranger.

"Oh.. Hye Min ?"

"It's been such a long time ! Do you remember how fun our last meeting has been ?"

"Absolutely !" he exclaimed. "How can I ever forget ?"

"I've not forgotten that night." she whispered.

 

          I was dumbfounded to see Jay smiling at her. She was being flirty and he wasn't turning her down. On the contrary, he simply stepped into her game. The ache in my heart grew again when she said.

 

"Well, I'll leave you to your.. friend. Don't forget to call me when you get a chance." 

 

          He smiled again when she winked before leaving. Then, he sat back down next to me. However, I didn't feel like having fun anymore. I was getting tired of all those girls. If only he hadn't met so many women in the past.

 

"_____, is there something wrong ?"

 

          I glared at him upon hearing this question.

 

"Are you serious ?" I shouted.

"Darling, what's wrong ?"

"It's you ! I'm tired of you and of your past !"

"What are you talking about ?" he asked.

"We can never have a quiet date. There's always someone to bother us. Do you know how hard it is to realize that my boyfriend has dated so many women ?"

"Let the past be the past ____"

"I hate that you never introduce me as your girlfriend. I hate that you don't turn those girls down. Instead, you just let them think that you'll contact them again." I whispered.

"It's a waste of time to reject them. If I do so, they'll be angry and won't leave us alone." he explained.

"I don't care Jay ! I just want everybody to know that we are together, that we love each other !"

"Why is that so important ?" he took a deep breath. "Can't you just focus on what we have ? People don't need to know about our happiness."

"Don't you realize it ?" I said. "This is not making me happy. When you smile at those girls, who have shared your intimacy, it definitely doesn't make me feel happy."

"I can't change what I have done in the past. So, if you can't bear with it.. I'm helpless."

 

          His words echoed in my mind and I couldn't move. I didn't recognize Jay. The one who had been so sweet to me wasn't here anymore. In fact, the one who had pronounced these words was a cold-hearted man. My sister had been right about him. One could never change a playboy.

 

"Fine." I muttered while standing.

 

          The pain felt heavier when I grabbed my bag and started walking away. Jay wasn't even running after me. He was just letting me go. Then, I remembered that he had never spoken those three little words to me. When our relationship had gotten on a serious level, I had been the one who had confessed. I had told him that I had fallen in love. He had always replied to this with a "me too". Not even once before had he expressed his feelings.

 

. . .

 

"I told you he wasn't a good guy."

"I thought he was different. He was so kind to me, so sweet."

"And that's probably how he acts with every women."

 

          My sister gently my hand on the table. After leaving Jay at the Han River, I had gotten into a taxi to go to my older sister's place. We loved one another and she had always been there for me. Since our childhood, Hana had known all of my secrets. She had been a great advisor, especially when it was about love. Hana was married to her first love. They had already spent six years of happiness together. She had an ideal life, the kind of life I wanted to have, with a loving husband and wonderful twins.

 

"Listen, ____, you're a beautiful woman, confident and independent. You're not going to let that guy get to you, right ?"

"I love him.."

"Gosh.. what am I going to do with you.." Hana sighed.

"Help me forget about that bastard." I pleaded. "Can I stay here for some days ? If I go back to my apartment, it'll be worse."

"Fine. But there is a condition."

"What is it ?"

"Take the boys out on Saturday. I've been wanting to have some quality time with Min Ho for a while."

"Okay.." I agreed.

 

. . .

 

          I had not spent a day with my nephews for a long time and I had forgotten how tired it was. Dae Ho and Dae Han had so much energy. They had been overjoyed to find out that we were heading to Lotte World. That was the best place for children their age, 6. As soon as we arrived, they had wanted to try everything. It was funny to watch them play together. I had to be careful as they would sometimes be mean to other kids.

          I was thankful to Hana for asking me to take them out. I had fun watching the two boys and it kept my mind off the Jay subject. Little did I know, my aching heart would soon be moved by him again.

 

          The children were tired and had asked me for an ice cream. We were all sitting together on a bench. Dae Ho was busy telling me stories about his school while Dae Han tried to cut him off. However, I couldn't hear them anymore as I spotted Jay from afar. He was with his crew, as he liked to call it. One of his friends recognized me and waved his hand. Then, he walked towards me, followed by the others.

 

"Hey ____, it's been a while !" he said.

"I know right. How have you been ?" I asked.

"Pretty good." he answered. "Who are they ?"

"I'm Dae Ho. And this is my younger brother, Dae Han. Who are you ?"

"He's a friend of mine." I explained.

"Hyung, look at him !" said Dae Han. "Isn't it Auntie's lover ? He looks like the guy on the photographs."

"He's not her lover. Dae Han, don't you remember what Auntie told mommy ?"

"Nope."

"She said he is a bastard." he whispered.

 

          My body froze as I heard these words leave my nephew's mouth. He had said that innocently, so as to update his brother on the situation. I was speechless and felt terribly sorry. Jay was looking intensely at me as my face reddened. Then, he kneeled down in front of the kids.

 

"Guys, you should not use this word. It's impolite." he explained.

"I'm not the one who said this. She's the one." Dae Ho accused while pointing a finger at me.

"That's because she's really angry." he said.

"Auntie, why are you angry ?" Dae Han asked. "Is it because of me ?"

"No, of course not. You've done nothing wrong." I replied.

"You can go to the playground. I'll talk to your aunt." Jay whispered.

 

          Dae Ho and Dae Han looked at me and I just nodded. With that, they made their way to the children's area. Jay's friend had witnessed our conversation. They all looked surprised. He must have kept our argument a secret.

 

"Has something happened between you ?"

"I'll tell you guys later." Jay announced. "____, come with me."

 

          He led me to another bench while holding my hand. I sat down quietly as he did the same. We didn't speak for a few minutes and he was the one who broke the silence.

 

"I've missed you."

"Really ?"

"It's hard to stay away from you." he confessed. "I wish I could turn back time.. I'm sorry for what I've said. I wasn't thinking straight. ____, my way of thinking is different from yours. I didn't understand what you meant. I still don't. But, I need you, I want you to forgive me. Do you think it is possible ?"

"I've missed you too." I started. "However, I'm not sure we can start over."

"What do you want from me ? What should I do ?"

"I want to be more than a temporary girlfriend. I don't want to end up like those women I have met before."

 

          I was staring at my sister's sons while speaking. They looked so cute. I was wondering if I would ever have the chance to live like her. It had always been my dream. I wanted to get married and have children. When I had first met Jay, I had told myself that he was my soul mate. He had everything I liked about a man. To be honest, he even surpassed my expectations. Yet, there was a slight problem. Jay wasn't a man who would give up on his independent lifestyle for an official relationship.

 

"I've never thought of getting married." he revealed. "Actually, I'm not sure I'll ever propose to you."

"I'm not asking you to do that. Maybe..." I took a deep breath. "Maybe we should both follow different paths. You'll meet a woman who's like you and I might find the right one."

 

          Jay frowned as he listened to me.

 

"Do you really think that I'm not the one for you ?" he asked.

"I don't know Jay.."

"Don't you remember our time together ? How good it was ?"

"I do. But I also remember how hard it has been. You have taken me to the places where you have met other girls, you have not told me about your feelings, you have never introduced me as your girlfriend. Even your crew sees me as a friend with whom you can have benefits. I feel like I've never been special to you."

"You are. You're different from the women I've been with."

"How many times have you said that before ?"

"Not even once. I had fun with other girls and they knew it wouldn't be more than a night." he argued. "When I met you, I knew one night wouldn't be enough. Then we started dating and I got addicted. I can't live without you now. Just give me another chance darling."

 

          His eyes were pleading, his hands had wrapped themselves around mine as he was holding my hand against his chest. I was suffocating. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it would eventually explode. My face was hot and I knew I had blushed already. Dae Han chose that moment to come to us.

 

"Auntie, I need to pee."

 

. . .

 

          The next day, Jay asked me out on a date. Yet, my sister wouldn't let me go. I had spent the night at her place again. When I had told her about my meeting with Jay, she had decided that I was crazy. She was now sitting next to me on a couch while Jay was in front of us.

 

"What's on your mind ?" she began.

"I just want to take ____ on a date." he replied. "I know I've hurt her before, but I'm not going to let it happen again."

"How can I be sure that you're not lying ?" she added.

"I should have gone to my apartment instead of telling you about our meeting." I complained.

"Hana, I may call you that, right ?" he didn't wait for her answer. "I have no intention of getting married to your sister nor giving her babies in the next month. However, I want her back in my life. We have only been away from each other for a week and I felt like dying. You can rest assured, I'll take care of her."

"But I-"

"Let them be, Hana." her husband cut her off. "They're not children anymore."

"Thank you." I mouthed to him.

 

          Hana didn't want to give up so easily but Min Ho placed his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from standing up. We used that time to leave the house. Once we were outside, Jay planted a kiss on the back of my hand.

 

"Promise me not to sleep here again. Your sister's pretty resentful."

 

          I nodded and followed him to the car.

 

. . .

 

          We had reached a modern residency that I didn't recognize. When I asked him where we were, Jay only told me to follow him. We reached an apartment's door and my mouth fell agape when he took the key out of his pocket. We were at his place. It was the first time that I got to see his apartment. In fact, I had never been there. We would always meet outside or at my place.

          He led me to the lounge and asked me to make myself comfortable.

 

"Why are we here ?" I asked.

"I thought about what you have said last time." he started. "We often go to the places where I have taken my former lovers. What you said was true. And I had an amazing idea."

 

          He leaned closer and whispered.

 

"You're the first one who comes here. You'll be the only one."

"You.. you have never brought a girl here ?" I repeated.

"No. I had fun with a lot of girls, but none of them have ever known me." he said. "Today, I'm letting you step into my place, which no one usually enters, and I'm also letting you step into my heart."

"You're so sweet Jay. Thank you !"

"There's one more thing."

"What is it ?" I asked.

"From now on, I want to live with you."

 

          It took me a while to get the meaning of his sentence. And when I did, I blinked. Jay, the playboy, the one who had made me fall in love, was asking me to live with him. He wanted us to live under the same roof. I couldn't believe it. I had never thought he would do that. It made me feel grateful.

 

"Live with me darling. Let's live here together. I want to see you every morning, give you a kiss when I come back home after a long day of work, I want to cuddle you at night. Please babe, accept my request."

 

          With tearful eyes, I hugged him. It felt so good to be in his embrace again. And I knew that I wouldn't be sad again. Although we couldn't change his past as a playboy, we could build a bright future together. We could start over and forget about our old conflicts. He was finally showing me his affection, his love.

 

"I love you so much Jay !"

"Me too." he replied. "I love you too ____."

 

          He leaned down slowly and, as I closed my eyes, his lips landed on mine. We shared a chaste kiss. The sweetest kiss he had ever given me. Soon, his passionate self took over as he said.

 

"I think I should let you take a look at the apartment."

"It's a good idea." I agreed.

"Shall we.. visit the bedroom first ?"

"Let's do that." 

 

         He kissed me one more time before carrying me to his bedroom, to our love-nest.