Him

I don’t know why I’m here again. The place where my happiest and saddest memories happen. The place where I used to live with her.

I open the door just to see a thick of dust covering all over furniture in every room. My steps suddenly stop at the living room, where she used to wait for me with her beautiful eye smile after a long day practicing and recording. How I miss that day, when both of us really happily in love with each other. Then my feet started to move itself to the kitchen room, where she used to cook for me in every chance we get together. I smile remembering how nervous she was waiting for me to taste her cook. Suddenly my eyes look at a door. A door to bed room. our bedroom. Where we used to have a heart to heart talk, kidding around, and doing many things together.

“ah, I shouldn’t come here in a first place. I just wasting my precious free time for adding a wound to my heart” said to myself. Then I took a last glance to the living room and stopped at a picture, our picture, smiling happily to the camera. I still remember, that picture was taken at Busan, that girl’s hometown, when both of us have a schedule there and managed to sneaking from the others. Ah, I really wish I could turn back the time.

“ yah, baek where are you from? Manajer hyung really panicked when he couldn’t reach you all day long.” Chen greeted me just when I come to dorm.

“wae? You know already if I’m on my precious free time I don’t want anyone disturb it, right?” I defend myself from his nagging. Jinjja I’m just coming home for goodness sake.

“but you always can tell us where are you spending your ‘precious free time’ you know?” haish this overprotective guy really something.

“arasseo arasseo, will do it next time. By the way, why manajer hyung try to reach me?” I try to differ the conversation. I really not in the mood to hear his nagging.

“aish this guy. Manajer hyung tried to inform you that tomorrow you have a meeting with CEO for a SM Station project. Seems you will have to sing for this project.”

“aah, allright. What time is the meeting?”

“molla, just call manajer hyung. He must really happy if you call him right now” said chen while smirking at me. I just “tch” in response to his smirk. Then I feel he is staring at my hand. Actually the thing that I held all along.

“ouh, baek, I think I know where you’re going before” I see his face change from smirking to giving me a concern look.

“you know baek, it’s good to reminiscing the past sometimes, it can make you learn your mistakes or giving you happiness. But, it’s not good if you living in past, baek.” I just can smile to hear his statement.

“I know, chen, I know. Anyway, will go to my room first. I want to make someone happy by calling him. Goodnight chennie..” I said by winking at him which, of course he replied with a disgust look.

After locking the door of my room, I stared at a thing that I was holding. “if I can, I really want to live in the past with you babe..” I said caressing her face at the picture.

Her

“unnie… ppalli ireona… chorong unnie really angry now, we’re really late for our schedule. Unnie.. ireona jebal..”

“aish hayoung-ah.. can you please calm a bit down? I’m in a date with Insung oppa now…”

“yah. Busun dateu unnie, and why Insung oppa? Why not baek…”

“arasseo arasseo I’m awake. Happy, now, move, I’ll go to bathroom to get ready. You. Tell chorong unnie I’ll ready in fifteen min.” I said cutting maknae from saying that name.

“aish why she need to mention that name when I have a really nice dream with insung oppa just now”I said and started to getting ready myself.

“unnie.. mianhae, it was really an accident that name slipped away from my mouth. Forgive me unnie..” said hayoung to me when I came to living room all ready to go. How can I angry with her if she put that puppy face?

“aish how can I angry at you maknae yah… gwaenchanha…” I smiled reassuring her. Then we smiling together.

“so, let’s go?” said chorong unnie looking at all member that ready to go.

“let’s go…” said all of us in unison.

“uwah, daebak… sm station will release a new single. And this time is ballad.” Said naeun reading an article in her phone.

“jinjja unnie? Who’ll sing it?” said namjoo curiously.

“it’s k will ssi with… “ naeun stopped a while to look at me.

“what’s with that face naeun ah? You make me feel nervous so sudden” I said brushing off my bad feeling.

“that’s k will ssi, with your ex unnie” said naeun. She is avoiding to mention his name. he who broke my heart into pieces.

“aah.. he will sing a ballad this time. His voice indeed really match to ballad genre right?” I said in a cheery voice. Trying to cheer the gloomy aura that come when naeun said the news. Trying to assure them that I really have move on and anything about him didn’t affect me at all.

“I envy him… I really want to have a duet with gold voice of k will sunbaenim” said namjoo slightly pouting.

“yah is it possible? He is in a different company with us, and not like sm, we rarely collaborating with artist from another company” said bomi try to tease namjoo. And we all laugh when namjoo pout more.

“girls.. time to pose together…” said manajer oppa stopping us from kidding around like usual.

“eunji-yaahh… shall we drink tonight?” said bomi hugging me.

“tomorrow I’ll have a morning schedule bbom-ah… mian.” I apologize. I know she ask me for a drink to let me pour all of our problem. She know that today, everyone seems trying to make me remember about him.

“hahaha… gwaenchanha chingu yaah.. I bet you already know what I mean right. No matter happen, I’ll always beside you okay?”

“what can I do without you bbom-ah…” I said while hugging her so tight.

“yah, jeong eunji, yoon bbom. Can you please concentrate a bit? The photographer is explaining the concept now” here we go… the nag of mama rong. Me and bomi just chuckled and try to listen what the photographer said.

Him

“yaaahh… you really made it bacon ah.. your single makes a hit you know?” said chanyeol who read the article.

“you’re underrated me yeol ah… of course I’ll make it, afterall, it’s a duet with k will sunbaenim and it’s a ballad genre. That’s our pro” I said proudly while smirking at him trough the mirror. Now It’s my turn to doing my make up for today’s schedule.

“yeah, right.” Chanyeol said in an i-know-it tone. Aish this giant realy underestimated me, right?

“but hyunieyah, some people commented that you sing it while putting all your feelings to taeyeon noona, so, they appraise you for brought a really emotional feeling to the song. Many of netizen said they’re crying while listen to your song” said chanyeol analytically.

Now, I’m fozen. Yeah, right. Reminiscing my feelings to taeyeon noona my a*s. me and taeyeon noona really just a noona and dongsaeng like everyone. That time when we caught by dispatch we just talking and pouring all of our problem about our each other relationship. That dispatch just caught picture in compromising angel. Then, our company use it to cover some problem that happen in company. That’s all. And now, they’re making some conclusion that this song makes me remember about taeng noona? I hope all of people in the world know that someone is not taeng noona. But, that girl with beautiful eye smile, loud voice, strong character. That girl. Her.

“yah, baek, gwaenchanha? Why suddenly you zooning out?” chanyeol shaking his big hands vigorously in front of my eye, trying to catch my attention.

“ah, ani. Nan gwaenchanha.” I said while regaining my conscious.

“yeah, you are. Now move. It’s my turn”

“okay, wah, suddenly I pity our make up artist” I said while looking at chanyeol face

“wae?”

“no matter how much they’re trying to put a makeup for you, it can’t cover your ugliness channie yah.. hahaha”

“yah, byun baekhyun, just wait and see after I’m done with it”

“yeah, will wait for that. But, now, I’m gonna catch some air first. Bye yodaaa…” I intentionally calling him that to put some oil in the fire. hahaha

“BYUN BAEKHYUUUUUUUN…” and, that is my clue to run before that yoda have done his makeup session.

I’m walking at this salon with blank mind. I really didn’t know where I want to go, or what I’m gonna do. I just following my feet where it want to go. Until suddenly.

Bruagh

“auwh… yah, don’t you use your.. omo, baekhyun ssi?” said her who suddenly crash to me.

“omo, I’m sorry bomi ssi, I didn’t see where I’m walking so, accidentally crash into you” I said when I recognize her covered face.

“what are you doing here bomi ssi?” I said with a little bit hope that all of a pink come here to get their makeup done.

“ah… it is..” bomi can’t complete her sentence because suddenly someone calling her name.

“yah, bbom ah… what took you so long, now it’s your turn to…” she, who calling bomi frozen in her spot when she look at me.

“ah, it’s my turn already? Allright, let’s get back to our room, you know that unnie really hate me when I’m late for my turn right? Ah, baekhyun ssi, I’m going first. Bye..” bomi said while dragging her friends to their room. just like that girl, I’m frozen too just hearing her voice, then, looking at her face. Her beautiful face.

“now I got you byun baekhyun.. what did you call me back then hah? How dare you to call me that?” chanyeol now strangle my neck. He really want me to die just because I .

“yah baek, why do you cry? Yah, your makeup will be ruined you know. Makeup noona really spending much time to do your eyeliner you know?” said chanyeol blabbing. But I don’t care. That tears couldn’t stop falling from my eyes.

“yah, baekhyun ah… let’s go to our waiting room, don’t you feel embarrassed crying in the middle of a hallway? Kaja kaja..” now, chanyeol dragging me to exo’s waiting room. and, when he opened the door, our members that already done with their preparations giving us a questioning look. Chanyeol couldn’t say anything because he too doesn’t know what happen to me.

“baek, why are you crying. Yah, baek answer me, don’t make me confused.” Said chanyeol still asking me.

“I think I know why, hyungdeul” said our maknae.

“and why is it sehunnie?” said suho hyung patiently.

“it’s her, right baek hyung? You saw her right?” said maknae to me which I just can answer by a weak nod.

“God, baek ah.. it’s not like you, you know. If you still love her, just directly said to her. If you still like this you’ll get hurt your self baek” said chen

“I don’t know chen ah.. I really don’t know why I’m being like this… I hurt her so much.. I can’t face her anymore chen ah, what should I do? I really don’t know chen ah…” I said hopelessly, and with that, my tears come out again.

My members all now keeping their silent. Neither of them know what to do to calm me down. Until one of the PD said that it was our time to went to the stage. Suho hyung, being the leader, come to me.

“can you pending your mourning for a while? We have a stage and fan to be faced. And neither of us want fan worried about your state right now. I promise after this I’ll let you going anywhere until next morning. How is it?” just like that, I stopped my cry and tried to gather my stage mood. What suho hyung said is right. I didn’t want fan look at me with this state. And I believe, if me and her still together, I would hear her nagging of what should we do in front of our fans.

Finally after sometimes, I feel better and get my makeup ready. Suho hyung then pat my back to encouraging me. And I just give him a weak smile.

When we on the way to the stage, we happen to pass A Pink waiting room. I couldn’t help myself not to peek a little at a wide opened room. there I could see and hear her laughter. Then, so sudden, my mood seem brighter. Ah, I wish she would laugh like that for me. If she did, I’m sure I’ll feel much much much better.

Her

“eunji yah, mian. I don’t know I’ll meet him while going outside. Suddenly I bump into him. And he asking me what I’m doing here. And before I could answer him you came, and I really don’t know what to do and I, and I, eunji yah, mianhae…” bomi try to explain herself about what happen earlier.

I know, it is just an accident, but I don’t know why, just looking at him again, makes my defence wall that I build for months broke into pieces. My mind then play all of our memories together. From the happy one, to our sad one. The saddest was when he left me. Alone. In that apartment.

“gwaenchanha bbom ah.. jinjja gwaenchanha. Me too didn’t know he’ll be there.” I smile reassuringly at her.

“jinjja?” I just nod at her. “arasseo, ah, eunji yah, should we drink tonight?” bbom try to cheer me up.

“I know bbom-ah… yah.. you know tomorrow I’ll have a schedule..” said me while pouting.

“aah.. preparation for your debut right? Appa yaa.. eodireulgoya.. dangsineun maeumchorom salseuisseulkka~~~” bbom try to sing my debut song.

“yah yah yah.. geuman geuman geuman. You’ll leak it to other if you keep on singing.”

“arasseo eunji nim…”

“yah bbom… where were you? Don’t you see the other members already done with their preps? Ppali iriwa.. let’s get your makeup done right now. Aigo.. you’re lucky you have pretty face and fair skin, if not, I can’t promise I’ll get your makeup done in time” I just can smirk at my best friend hear makeup unnie nagging. And her, with sheepy smile went to that unnie trying to stop her nagging.

As I sit on the couch, maknae approach me with a concern look.

“unnie..”said her try to start the conversation.

“wae maknae yah?” I answered and smile at her

“I know what happen earlier” that stopped me from training my voice.

************************************

yeah, that's it for the first chap. how is it?

aaaa... I'm facepalming right now..

comment and critic really welcomed.