His tall masculine figure in sitting next to you. Both of you with a beer and two bowls of snack in between you two. There always seems to be some type of object in between you two.

“Yes today is the day… I should confess to her... if not today when can I?” Chanyeol thinks as he stares at his beer can

“Chan?? Hello earth to Chan!” You say waving your hands back and forth in front of his face

“Oh sorry just deep in thoughts…” he says as he forces a smile onto his face

“So did you confess to her?!” You ask as you are curious about this girl Chanyeol keeps saying he will confess to for the past few years

“No… not yet, what if I get turned down” he said moving his face so that he is staring into your eyes

“Ehhh who would turn you down? You’re handsome, tall, have a y voice and your dad is a CEO of a company that you will take over. If that girl turns you down bring her to me, I’ll beat some sense into her. Haha!” You laugh as you take a sip from your beer

Chanyeol Pov

That’s my best friend ____.

We have been best friends since the beginning of high school. I moved to Seoul from the States and she was the one who toured me around, now here we are in college living together as roommates. We’ve seen each other’s ups and downs in life. From her mom’s death to my parent’s divorce. The one who understands me the most in the world ____.

“Ya! Answer me. Who is this lucky girl??” ____ says to me.

She’s pouting… she’s never been more beautiful in my eyes, and yet I can never tell her that I love her…

Why?

 Because she told me that she can never see me more than a best friend, to her I’m her guardian angel. The reason why, she believes that everyone she loves eventually leaves her. So she can’t love me or else I will leave.

 Her dad left her with a big sum of money after her mother died. He got remarried and left to Europe to start a new life with his new wife. As for his daughter ____, she was left with money that can last her for a long life time and a note that said “Sorry. This is all I can do for you –Appa”

Now I know what you all are thinking, how can a father be so heartless? ____’s parents married only because of forced engagement by her grandparents. After they passed away and later ___’s mom, her father decided he wanted to live life the way he wanted to. So he got back in contact with the woman he loved 21 years ago before ____ was born and married her. Leaving ____ with an apartment and no one else.

“If you keep ignoring me, I’m going home!” she gives me the death glare as she takes the last gulp from her beer can. She stands up and stares at me while I stare at her

“What’s wrong with you today? Bye! I don’t have time for this.” She huffs as she starts to walk away

I watch as she leaves our backyard and into her side of the house.

Don’t worry, we aren’t living in the same space kind of roommates. Our house is split into two, it’s a duplex, and there goes another wall in between us. She lives on one side of the house while I live on the other. Now back up to the end of our senior year. Back to the story I was telling you guys about.

Two years ago

“Chan…. My appa left… why…why…” ___ barely says in between her cries

I hear her tears through the phone

“____ where are you right now? I’ll head right over!” I yell into the phone standing up from my bed

“Ani… it’s your sister’s welcome home party…. Don’t let me ruin it… I am with my mom right now…I’ll be all right” she sniffs

Liar… I can hear the lies she’s saying through the phone… that she’s going to be all right

“I’ll be right there, don’t go anywhere” I rush trying to find my keys to my car

“Yeol…why…why does everyone I love leave me?” she starts to cry again

“Don’t say such nonsense. You have me.” I finally found my keys and open my bedroom door making sure no one is around to see me sneak out

“Ani… you’ll leave me too… so don’t come Yeol… because I can’t love you… because one day you will have to leave too….” She says hesitating

“Pabo, don’t spout such a thing. I’ll be there soon okay?”

I get into my car as I try to remember where we spread ____’s mom’s ashes

“Bye Chan… don’t come. I won’t be here.” ___ says as she hangs up

My heart drops as I can’t help but feel that something bad might happen to _____. On a drive that normally takes 30 mins I get there in 15. I run out of the car as I search for ____. Just our luck and like a Korean drama it starts to rain. Trust me, I’m not lying. It’s really raining. I run looking for ____ but she’s nowhere to be seen. I start running around like a crazy mad man, when I spot her, heading down the pathway

“ ___!” I yell for her, ___ stops and looks back at me. I can’t tell if it’s the rain or if she’s really crying… I’m sure it’s really tears. As I start running for her, she turns back and keeps walking

“That damn brat!” I scream as I start running towards her

As I catch up I don’t know if I should give her a back hug or pull her into a hug, but ____’s words ring in my ear.

“I can’t love you” pabo…. I love you. I sigh as I run in front of her to stop her tracks.

“It’s raining.” I say as I put my jacket over her and put my hoodie on her head.

“Stop…. Go away…” ___ says as she tries to take off my jacket

“I won’t tell you that I love you and I won’t leave you. So just let me take you home, okay?” I say holding her wrist… I want to hold her hands…but it would make me want to tell her that I love her

___turns around towards my car, I walk next to her as we get inside.

Back to present

I stare at the door that just closed behind her.  6 years. I have kept the love I have for her hidden for 6 years, from the day she smiled and introduced herself, to today when I wanted to confess

“Pabo…can’t even tell her that you love her…” I sigh as I walk back into my side of the house

Your POV

I lean on the door I just closed behind me as I stare into huge empty house. What’s the use of having such a huge house with no one to share it with.

Last year Chanyeol convinced me to move into a house with him, his parents were planning on building him a house and he wanted me to live with him. I said yes but on one condition. There must be a wall between us.

Now here we are, with a house that is the exact same on the side. When you first enter it’s a shoe room with so much shelf space for shoes. That part was put in for Chanyeol. 100 slots and only 3 are filled for me, tennis shoe, house slipper and a pair of sandals.

Then there’s the actual door to get inside the house which leads to the living room, the stairs to go upstairs are right next to the door entrance. Kitchen to the left. When you get upstairs there are two rooms and one bathroom. I only use one out of the two rooms while Chanyeol uses the other room for his music.

I sigh as I open the door to enter the house and the automatic lights turn on. I feel tears coming down my cheeks as I quickly wipe them and lock the door, heading to the kitchen for a cup of water before I go to my room.

I’m sitting on my bed holding onto my mom’s picture frame as I start to cry

“Omma…. Today Chan wanted to confess to me again… today I wanted to confess to him again… I almost lost all my senses and told him that I love him…It’s so hard omma… to pretend that I don’t love him or notice his feelings when I do…” I start crying my eyes out as I pull the covers over me and slowly fall asleep.