Crushed!
The Crush
“Good morning Y/N” Chanyeol all smiley greet me the time I entered his room, but.. That was actually my daily routine from that day everything happened.
“Hey Chanyeolie, tell me.” I told my best friend as I drunk another shot. We were at the bar we usually hung out. But that day he wasn’t on mood so drinks came after another.
“Hmm?” He looked at me like nothing happened but in reality, we both knew. His crush was kissing a school’s pretty guy -also known as Oh Sehun- and I felt sad yet angry. He was always looking after her, even if I was the one who was always next to him. He fell for her and I couldn’t do anything about it, could I? The day he told me about her I just patted his shoulder and smiled proudly as a best friend should do. But once I was at my home I burst into tears. I felt stupid though, of all men why my best friend?
“Come on, I’m here for you.” I gave him a weak smile. I hated seeing him like that.
“I don’t actually know if I care!” He said having one more drink. “I’m not sure if I really loved her.” He said again.
But his behavior drove me mad. “Listen to me! A ing year passed since you started liking her! What do you mean you’re not sure if you actually loved her?”
A hand reached my cheek and fondled it. “I’m sorry Y/N, but you don’t need to cry for such a thing. I should be the one crying but as I said I don’t care enough.” Oh yeah. I cried but without realizing it. This is how I finally understood how hurt I was. I cried harder and his hands kept wiping my tears away. “Come on, don’t make me sad now.” He then hugged me tight. I tried to figure out if I cried because of what had happened or because he was being so sweet with me that I couldn’t handle it. “Let’s drink!” He let out a loud sigh, but then I looked up at him and nodded as an answer.
“Minseok, two tequilas.” I said looking at our friend who happened to be the bar’s owner. He smiley offered us our drinks and as time passed my vision started being blurry. This is how I knew I was drunk.
Once we both understood that it was kinda late for us to still there and drink even more than we should, we got into Chanyeol’s car. We lived too close to each other so whenever we went out together he gave me a ride home.
Laughs and giggles filled the car until another conversation began. “Let’s forget them.” I said looking at him.
He stopped smiling and a serious expression took place on his face. “Them?!” He kept that face on as we waited for my answer.
“I got a crush too.” I said blushing a bit.
“Who is he? Why you never told me?” And then a mix of angry and worried pair of eyes faced me.
“He has a crush too, so I didn’t tell anyo-”
“Why? Why you never told me? This is not a reason you kno-”
“Because he wouldn’t even think that I’m in love with him!” I yelled, trying to look away because of my tears.
“Who wouldn’t like you? Or maybe why wouldn’t he like you? You are perfect! You are so precious to waste your tears for such a person as he.” His voice softened and his hands found their way on my cheeks fondling them while wiping my eyes, but the whole situation made me cry more and more.
“You are so precious to waste your tears for such a person as he.” These words replayed again and again in my head. Only if he knew that it was him the one and only person that I loved as much, he would understand why I kept sobbing right there.
“Chanyeol the ligh-” The traffic light turned red but it was too late for Chanyeol to realize it.
Slowly I opened my eyes with the rest of my body being in pain. I looked around and saw the write room that I was into. I turned my head to see a doctor next to me, and he explained.
“You got into a car crush. You don’t have many hits and scars but you broke your hand. You will be coming here and-”
“I wasn’t alone in the car! Where is the guy who was next to me?” I was more worried about him than me, and I couldn’t hold back but let some tears to fall as I saw doctor’s expression.
“He hasn’t woken up yet. He hit his head badly when the car crash happened. All we can do now is to stay calm and wait until he wakes up.” The doctor was serious yet calm while talking to me.
“May I see him?” I said quickly. He nodded in response and lead me to Chanyeol’s room.
There he was. A calm, sleepy Chanyeol in front of me making me worried to death. It wasn’t like I had lost every hope of him being alive but watching these machines all over his head made me scared.
I took the chair and sit right there, next to him. My hand tightly holding his as I started talking to him.
“You’re such an idiot. If you didn’t care enough about me back then we wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be here. You don’t want me to cry but you make it harder now!” More tears and confesses came by time, until I fell asleep at the position I was.
“Doctor! Chanyeol is finally up!” I shouted out as I saw him opening his eyes but..
“Who are you?” ..things didn’t go as planned.
“Chanyeol has an amnesia and as you are the only person who’s here for him and knows everything about him and his past, you must stay by his side, protect him and bring his memories back.” These were doctor’s last words before we left the hospital.
“So Y/N, how did I got to have amnesia?” He asked the time we arrived at his house.
“We were out for some drinks and we left the bar drunk. After it we had a car crush.” I didn’t say a thing about his crush, I thought that it wasn’t the right time.
“Y/N, are you my girlfriend?” Chanyeol asked with a big smile at his face. But I was the opposite. I was about to cry at his questions.
“No Channie, I’m just your best friend.” I said quickly with a small fake smile.
“Ooh I see. I just felt like it. You were at the hospital and you were crying when I asked for your name and you also said we were out together for drinks so..” His smile slowly fade away and that hurt me more. Was he really thinking of me as his girlfriend?
“We are best friends since elementary school. We were together at high school too. We graduated and moved out and came here. Now we have a break at college.” And I kept on telling him stories and many things I know about him every day. I explained about his cute, dorky and happy personality and.. “So you have a loved one from back then.” ..I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. “Her name is Jimin.”
“I see. What about her? Almost a month passed, my memories are blurry and I can’t remember her at all! She didn’t came to see me. She is like she doesn’t care.” He said all angry.
“Chanyeol calm down. You aren’t dating. You just have a crush on her and you love her and-”
“Are you sure? Because the only girl I’ve seen for the past month is you, not her.” He said again more calm this time.
“It’s because you’re also a bit shy around her and you don’t always talk to her. You aren’t that close and she probably doesn’t know about our accident.” What was I doing? Reminding him his crush? What was that affect? Him being mad at her not wanting to remember her. I didn’t get it. Not at all! But I had to make him remember everything. “Do you want to go to that bar we were? The owner is friend of ours and she’s going there often, you may remember her.”
That time he nodded without talking back, yet he looked so thoughtful.
So we did. We went at Minseok’s bar and told him about the accident too. He gave Chanyeol a glass of tequila; his usual, and then he started telling him stories about him, their friendship and more.
At time Jimin entered the bar and it was probably the first time I was happy to see her.
“Hey Jimin! Wanna have a drink with us?” I told her with a smile.
“Why not?” She said as she sit right next to Chanyeol. She knew about the crush he had on her, so she always .
“Chanyeol, this is Jimin.” I said keeping my smile in place.
Chanyeol’s eyes widened as he saw her and admired her.
“What are you doing?” Minseok whispered in my ear being the only one who knew about my crush on my best friend.
“I need to bring his memories back. So this is going to help.” I said leaving him speechless.
So we explained her everything that happened and she started telling him stories and about their relationship. She also made him a bit embarrassed as she told him things like that he would ask her for date many times and things like that.
Days, weeks and months passed like that. He started remembering things and doctor was relieved to see him like that.
“Good morning to you too Chanyeol.” I said walking at his bedroom. For the past week we was studying being afraid of not having his memories back till the next semester.
“I remembered something today.” He said putting his book down. “I remembered everything about our accident. What happened and we got drunk, what happened the time we got the accident, everything!” My heart skipped a beat and I felt like dying for a moment. “I still don’t know your crush.” He said with a smirk.
“I’m not gonna tell you!” I said crossing my arms.
“You said you were going to make me remember. So why don’t you tell me?” He said again being the one with crossed arms this time.
“I never told you to tell you now! This has nothing to do with your memories.” I wanted to leave, to cry. Many emotions took place in my heart this time and my heartbeat was drumming in my ears.
“But I also remembered that I don’t actually love Jimin, thing you didn’t told me. When I said it to you I meant it. And I actually understood it when I started talking to her and getting to know her again. I remembered everything about me and her.” He walked up and told all these as he faced me. “Now tell me about your crush.”
“I will! But we are going to the doctor first! I know you were there almost 2 weeks ago and I know you only go there two times a month, but he said if you have an improvement you have to go there.” I told him almost in tears but my serious expression hided it well.
“Okay, but after it you are going to tell me.”
This is how things happened. Doctor was actually surprised because Chanyeol had almost his whole memories back. I was happy too, but I was afraid. I promised to tell him and I couldn’t say no.
We walked at his house again and had a light launch. Once we were done we found ourselves sitting on the couch at his living room silently.
He started playing with my hair awkwardly, but I felt more awkward than him.
“I’m gonna tell you a secret after you tell me about your crush.” He said with a soft voice, almost like a whisper.
So I took deep sigh and my eyes were locked with his. I was about to regret it but there was no turning back. “Well, my crush is..a guy close to me. I know him since very young. I started noticing things about him before others did. How he started growing taller and started getting prettier inside out. How his love for making his loved ones happy began. How he started being such a lovely dork.” Some tears escaped my eyes but my stare was locked on his eyes, letting him understand every emotion I had.
He cupped my cheeks and took away my tears like the day our accident happened. “Are you okay?” He slowly asked with watery eyes.
I nodded and told him to hug me so I can continue. “How he stole my first kiss at high school because of our friends selecting us to play seven minutes in heaven. The touch of our lips kissing each other. But he never understand how much I loved him. How my heart was doing only for him.” My sobs became louder and his hug tighter. His heartbeat was as loud as mine. Was he crying?
There is no..
“That guy..”
..turning back.
“..is you!”
He got away from my hug slowly with tears at his eyes. “I’m happy!” He said with trembling voice.
He came closer once again, until there was no space between us. His lips touching mine, reminding me of the first time did.
When he pulled away more tears came out from his eyes. “I love you! You were my crush! I only told Jimin about it. Yes, I really liked her when we were at high school, but we played seven minutes in heaven and my heartbeat was so fast and I couldn’t understand. I though I was wrong. I couldn’t handle that I was in love with my best friend, so I confessed to her and she rejected me. We grew older and got to come here and go to the same college. I tried to fall for Jimin again, she also thought I had a crush on her until I got drunk at our date. I only talked about you and only you. She told me the next day when I was sober, but I couldn’t tell you. You were my everything and I couldn’t risk it.”
My eyes widen, looking at him, trying to understand was he was saying but words couldn’t come out. Only sobs.
“The day our accident happened I wanted to tell you even though you told me you had a crush too. How could I know it was me? I just freaked out!” He held my head and putted it trying to look comforting.
“You’re just an idiot!” I yelled. “I wanted to hear these three word for so long now! Why you had to be like that? Why you never told me?” I looked up at him this time. “I love you too!”
He smiled. He had that bright smile, a smile like that only for me. A smile I never forgot.
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