Chapter 1
Give Me Your Hand (Save Me)Chapter 1
"Come on, Yoongi! Trust us just this once!" Namjoon's voice echoed through his mobile phone.
Yoongi sighed.
"Namjoon. I already told you that I'm not interested. I've lived like this for most of my life, why should I bother trying to change things now?"
"I know hyung, but this really could help you! What if it actually works? Can't you just give it a try? If you're still not interested after the first session then we won't bother you anymore!"
He couldn't put up with his best friends' anymore. Both Namjoon and Hoseok tried to talk him into going to this ing "support group" or whatever the they call it so many times that he just didn't have the will to reject them anymore.
"Goddamit." he breathed between gritted teeth. "Fine! Tell me where the this place is and what I have to do."
There was a moment of silence on the other side of the call. Maybe Namjoon didn't expect Yoongi to give in already.
"Thank you, hyung. I'll send you all the info through e-mail later!"
"Why are you thanking me, . You and Hoseok have been pestering me for almost a month now."
"Just- I'm just happy for you. I really hope this helps you."
"Whatever."
"Talk to you later, hyung! Thank you for finally listening to us!"
***
Yoongi was now at the hospital which Namjoon sent him the address.
He's never been fond of places like this (who is?), it reeks of sanitizer and chemicals and it only makes him think about bad memories.
But he told Namjoon he'd try this, and he can't take back his word now.
Actually, he has never thought about doing something to cure his haphephobia. He has been dealing with it since he was six. He was just a kid and he didn't think that shoving his friend down the metallic platform in the playground would cause his friend any harm; but he was obviously wrong since the poor boy ended up in hospital with a major injury to his head.
From that point on he had a bit of a hard time touching others and being touched by other people. Well okay, maybe not a bit but a lot. He can't exactly say he's not ended up panicking that one time his basketball teammates back in highschool tried to block him a bit too insistently during a practice match. Or that he didn't hyperventilate back in college when the girl he was going out with apparently couldn't understqand the word "no". Or that he just didn't have any panic attacks at all.
He still managed to get a few close friends thanks to his music though, and he's happy enough by spending his time alone working on his tracks or with Hoseok and Namjoon.
Anyway, he still heads to the reception and asks where he should go for the recently enstablished support group's first session.
The nurse is kind enough to not ask anything and quickly leads him to the room designated to the support group.
When he enters the room he finds some chairs arranged in a circle. He asked himself if maybe the nurse got him wrong and lead him to the AA group. But looking at what he thought was a doctor and the other bunch of people in the room, that was probably not the case. So he quietly set down and just looked around.
His gaze fell on a boy who was currently talking to the doctor. Isn't he a bit too young to be here? He thought.
He kind of dazed out, still looking at the boy's direction when he noticed the boy was staring back at him.
He kind of dazed out, still looking at the boy's direction when he noticed the boy was staring back at him.
When their eyes met, the young boy smiled at him in the brightest way Yoongi's ever seen a human smiling. Was it even legal to smile like that?
He quickly averted his gaze and awkwardly looked somewhere else, but he still felt the boy's gaze on himself. Why was he still staring at him?
At that moment the doctor stood up.
"Okay, I think we're all here, so we can finally start our first session." he said clapping his hands together.
"It's a pleasure to have you here, everyone. My name is Kim Shiwoo and I'll be the psychologist who will follow your progresses in this group! My staff and I are here to help in the best possible way so if there's anything you want to ask or tell us, please feel free to do so. I'll now let my staff introduce themselves."
Dr. Kim then sits down and lets the woman sitting next to him speak up.
She stands up and introduces herself as the coordinator of the doctor's staff and then let's the other people talk as well.
Yoongi curiously eyes the young boy from before, who's now standing up.
He's part of the staff? he asks himself. Apparently they even let kids work in hospitals these days. Maybe it's to make experience.
"My name is Park Jimin, nice to meet you all!" he says with the same bright smale as before.
He quickly sits down again so they can continue their introductions.
As they're finished, the doctor takes the word again.
"So I bet you want to know how this will work, right? Well, first of all I'd like all of you to introduce yourselves and state why you're here as well. If you feel too uncomfortable that's completely okay! We're here to help you, so you can say it to one of us later."
As the other people talk, Yoongi can't help but feel nervous waiting for his turn.
Which quickly arrives seen as there's not that many people.
"I'm Min Yoongi, 23. I'm here because of my haphephobia." as he speaks he feels a gaze on himself and notices the boy- Park Jimin looking at him.
When everyone's done Dr. Kim picks up some papers and stands up to talk again.
"Very well, now, I'll pair each one of you with a member of my staff. Then I'll talk to each one of you privately so we can see what we can do. Since we had your applications to the group, I already paired you all up to make this faster."
He then procedeed and started listing the pairs.
His nervousness spiked as he was waiting for his name to be called out.
Why did he have to be the last one?
"Min Yoongi, you're paired with Park Jimin."
Oh.
Is the Lord testing him?
He moves his gaze from Dr. Kim to Park Jimin, only to be greeted by that stupid (cute) chubby-cheecked smile.
Then the boy stands up and walks to him.
"Nice to meet you Yoongi-sshi. Please follow me, let's go to the other room so we can talk with Dr. Kim." he says.
Yoongi nods and follows him. He's lead to another room where Jimin lets him sit before a desk.
"No need to be nervous." the boy reassures him, still smiling.
Yoongi says nothing. He just keep looking at him.
The door opens and Dr. Kim greets them and then sits on the other side of the desk, starting the computer placed before him.
"So, Mr. Min, you suffer from haphephobia, right?"
He nods.
The doctor asks him how his phobia showed up, and Yoongi ends up telling the same old story.
"So you're scared of hurting others, am I right?" he says typing on the computer, not really asking for a reply.
There's a brief moment of silence before Dr. Kim speaks again.
Yoongi can't help but wonder what Jimin was thinking about, the boy impossibly serious and silent.
"Alright Mr. Min. I believe it'd be for the best to try an exposure therapy in this situation. What I want you to do with the help of Jimin-sshi, is to list everyday situations that include touching another person that you're not able to do. Once you're done I'll need you to put them in increasing order, from less to most difficult for you to deal with, so we can start from the easiest one and eventually arrive at the last one. If by the end of this list you still find yourself having an hard time we'll make another one and so on. Of course you have to take it slow, otherwise this could make things worse, so don't rush anything. Are you positive you want to try this?"
He keeps quiet for a moment. He seriously thinks about what the doctor has said and actually thinks about what it would be like to be able to touch others freely, without panicking. He thinks about how his life would change... for better.
"Are you sure this will work?" he asks hesitantly.
"As I said, it will take quite some time, but I'm sure this will work. It's up to you, Mr. Min."
He takes a deep breath.
"Okay. I- Let's try this."
***
A/N: hi there! thank you for reading until here! i hope you enjoyed this crappy first chapter!
i actually wasn't planning on making this a chaptered fic, but then i decided i didn't want to keep you waiting so... here we go! maybe after i'm done writing this i'll post it again as a oneshot, but i don't know yet.
also, i'm currently looking for a beta reader to correct grammar mistakes, typos and such. (btw i apologize if i made any major errors, but english is not my native language ;; ) if you're interested please contact me! <3
i actually wasn't planning on making this a chaptered fic, but then i decided i didn't want to keep you waiting so... here we go! maybe after i'm done writing this i'll post it again as a oneshot, but i don't know yet.
also, i'm currently looking for a beta reader to correct grammar mistakes, typos and such. (btw i apologize if i made any major errors, but english is not my native language ;; ) if you're interested please contact me! <3
oh, i also wanted to make clear that i'm in no way an expert in the psychological field and everything i've written here is based on just some research! i tried my best, so i hope i didn't write some major bull ;; if that's the case PLEASE let me know and i'll correct it immediatly!
finally, i'd love to know what you think about this chap so please feel free to comment, i'll reply to all of you! <3
i'll also leave my contacts here, if you want to talk to me that would make me really happy!
08/17/16 EDIT: This chapter is now revised thanks to Yazaki30, who'll be the beta for this story <3
Contacts:
Twitter: @syubxpjm
Tumblr: @yoon-jiminnie
Instagram: @syubxpjm
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