Sangdo sat still in the bed of the guests bedroom, as he watched Hojoon move around the room packing up his things.

He could see the sadness all over Hojoon's face.

He wasn't crying right now, but he knew he'd probably end up crying when they finally had to say goodbye.

He couldn't believe it was over...

A whole summer together and now it was all over.

Hojoon was wearing the same shirt he wore the day he arrived.

On that day, Sangdo had noticed how good the shirt looked on him and how good his arms looked, but he had no idea how important this boy would be in his life.

He couldn't remember how to live without him any more.

What would he do in his free time? Who would keep him company when he was watching television in the living room? Or when he was cooking in the kitchen?

He spent the best moments of his life with this boy, and he couldn't remember a moment when he was happier than when he was with him.

He also couldn't remember a moment when he was more sad than he was right now.

 

Flashback

As his aunt called out his name, Sangdo quickly moved down the stairs to see a cute boy standing at his door.

He had a blue sleevless shirt on that showcased his beautiful arms.

That was the first thing Sangdo noticed about the boy.

The second thing he noticed, was his chubby cheeks and his adorable smile that made him feel warm inside.

The boy extended his arm to him with a smile.

"My name is Hojoon!" He said shaking Sangdo's hand.

"I'm Sangdo!" The taller boy said returning the smile.

"Sangdo this is the son of my friend that I told you about! He will be spending the summer here since his parents will be out of the country!"

His aunt said as Sangdo nodded with a smile and helped the boy carry his bags to the guests room.

Little did he know, that he would be spending a lot of time with the boy in that same room.

----

After only one week, Sangdo started to realize, they had a lot in common.

During the first night, at the dinner table, his aunt had asked Hojoon what he was studying and the boy had aswered with a huge smile.

"Performing Arts!"

This caught Sangdo's attention right away.

He lifted his eyes to look at the boy and quickly swallowed his food so he could speak.

"Really? What are you most interested in?" There was a twinkle in Sangdo's eyes.

"I'm mostly in love with dancing! But I'm really interested in singing too!" The boy smiled again, and Sangdo's stomach did a full turn.

There was something really special about that smile.

"I am studying Performing Arts too! But mostly singing... I am a terrible dancer!" Sangdo admitted shamefully scratching the back of his head.

"Really? That's so cool! Most people think it is a useless major and with no successful future! It's nice to meet someone who's also into it! Besides my classmates of course..."

--

In that first night, while sitting together on the bench in the balcony, watching the night sky, Sangdo learnt that Hojoon's classmates weren't exacly the nicest people on the planet.

When Sangdo asked why, Hojoon was reluctant.

"How do you feel about... homouality?" Hojoon was looking up at the sky and avoiding Sangdo's eyes.

Sangdo didn't know how to answer that question... Somehow, he felt exposed, so he simply shrugged.

"I'm okay with it... Really, everyone should be allowed to love whoever their heart chooses for them... It's not really like it's our choice who we fall in love with."

Hojoon slowly turned back to Sangdo with a smile, a glint of gratitude in his eyes.

"My classmates don't seem to agree with that..." He looked down at his swinging feet again "That's mostly why I have barely any friends at school" Hojoon laughed dryly.

Sangdo was a bit taken aback. Hojoon had just came out to him and they were sharing quite a deep conversation right now.

Even if they had met on that morning and only spent a day together, he felt more intimate with him than with any of his friends.

"I'm sorry..." Sangdo whispered not knowing what else to say.

"Why? Don't be sorry! I'm happy like this" Hojoon was smiling at him again "My parents accepted it just fine and that's all I needed. Even if there are not many, I still have some friends and they're there when I need them and that's enough..."

Sangdo felt better.

"And to be honest... Those 4 guys are way better people and way more fun to hang out with than all of my classmates combined could ever be!"

Sangdo let out a laugh.

"So if I'm happy why should you feel sorry?" The boy hadn't stopped smiling since that morning.

He was always smiling and it was contagious. Sangdo was happy to have him around.

--

On their second week, Sangdo felt confident enough, and invited the boy to one of his night walks down the beach. It soon became an habit for the both of them.

They were just talking about their different lifestyles since neither of them knew too much about the other yet.

Hojoon was telling him how he lived with his parents but didn't see the rest of his family often. He also told him about his school and classes and few funny stories about his 'really cool but super idiotic friends' as Hojoon liked to call them.

Sangdo told him about the small village and how he had always lived there with his aunt only, as his parents lived abroad. He mentioned how everyone was friendly and how it had great beaches and green spaces, and how it was full of foreigners and trourists during the holidays.

Then the conversation took a sharp turn, and Sangdo caught himself listening to Hojoon talking about about his first and only boyfriend, that lasted almost a year and a half. He told him how they had an amazing relationship until his boyfriend's parents found out which led to their break up.

"I had never met anyone who is gay before..." Sangdo blurted out.

He soon realized how stupid that had sounded considering that Hojoon could not read his mind and had no idea what he had been thinking prior to that.

"Hm... I mean..." Hojoon was looking at him in a weird but funny way and Sangdo eventually sighed.

"What I meant was... That since I've never left the village... Besides myself... I had never met anyone else who was also gay..." Sangdo was now trying to read Hojoon's expression.

At first he couldn't really tell what they boy was thinking, but soon the boy opened up a huge smile.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Sangdo was turning a bit red but the boy kept staring at him.

"It just didn't come up... We talked about it, but since we were talking about you I didn't think it was the right time..." Sangdo simply shrugged unsure of what else to say.

"Does your aunt know? Have you told anyone?" Hojoon asked now looking at the sand.

"My aunt knows... She kind of always knew... Or at least that's what she said when I came out to her a few years back!"

The two boys let out a loud laugh, finally choosing to sit on the sand and stare at the sea.

"Besides her, I'm not exacly hiding it... If people ask me, I'll tell them, but if they don't, then there's no need in bringing it up..."

Hojoon nodded with a smile "We think alike..."

Sangdo felt at peace. He was grateful that the people who knew about him didn't judge him... That most people around the village didn't really mind and were still nice to him...

But he still felt lonely... Since there was no one else 'like him'... Or at least who was open about it...

Well... That was until two weeks ago, when he met the chubby cheeked boy named Hojoon.

--

His aunt had been picking on him about this boy.

Asking how they were getting along, and offering him these 'knowing smirks'.

Asking what they did for 2 hours when they went out to the beach together every night.

She kept asking Sangdo if there was nothing more to it, and every time Sangdo said no while blushing she would ask if there was the chance there would be.

She was always eager when it came to Sangdo's love life... Probably even more so than Sangdo himself.

But she convinced him... And that's how, by the end of the third week, Sangdo had found himself knocking on the door of the guest's bedroom to ask Hojoon out on an official date.

Hojoon accepted with a big smile. And that smile got a huge weight out of Sangdo's chest.

Although it had only been three weeks since they meet, Sangdo had grown to like the boy. A lot.

This boy was special... Really.

He made Sangdo feel shy and speechless, even if he wasn't usually like this. And he made his confidence disappear, always making him worry that Hojoon might reject him.

So that's why, at the end of the night, after a long romantic movie, and shared popcorn, Hojoon took the lead and kissed him.

There was something in that kiss that completely got to Sangdo, and if there was a part of him that was not yet in love with the chubby cheeked boy, that kiss changed it.

It was special, it was on the bridge, just over the beach they usually went to, as they made their way back home.

Hojoon was holding Sangdo's hand when he suddenly stopped and turned to face him.

Sangdo was worried that he might have done something wrong for a moment, but as soon as Hojoon leaned in closing his eyes, he knew he was okay.

--

From then on they spent all their time together.

Sangdo would often take him to the most beautiful places around town since Hojoon had never been there.

They would walk happily hand-in-hand and take lots of pictures together. Including pictures of them kissing in front of pretty scenarios. Just like those cliché couples, from those cliché romance movies that they both loved.

He was grateful that no one seemed to judge them.

They didn't recieve disgusted looks, or threatning glares. No mean or homophobic comments, people mostly didn't care, sometimes even smiled towards the lovely couple.

Some of the people that knew Sangdo and his aunt, actually congratulated them and told them they were a cute couple. And there was even an elder lady that went as far as to pinch Hojoon's cheeks which had made the boy turn bright pink in embarassment, it was the first time Sangdo had seen him acting shy.

When they were home, they would watch their favourite shows together, and Hojoon would also teach him to cook new recipes.

The first time they tried to bake cookies, they ended up throwing flour at each other. Right before they started making out against the kitchen counter.

This was until Sangdo's aunt entered the kitchen whispering something about the pastry tasting good.

Sangdo turned deep red while Hojoon just laughed and thanked his aunt.

--

They were laying on Hojoon's bed cuddling when Hojoon pulled him into a deep kiss.

Sangdo was a bit scared of taking it too far and too fast, after all it had only been a little bit over a month since they first met.

Hojoon's hands slipping under his shirt reassured him.

They felt his back muscles and slid down his back again stopping just before they reached his .

Sangdo's hands now found themselves, also under Hojoon's shirt feeling his sides.

They broke the kiss for a second looking in each other's eyes as if making sure they were on the same page. Making sure neither of them was making the other uncomfortable. That both of them were okay with this. That they both wanted this.

Their eyes were locked on each other, having a deep conversation just through that one look. Through that look Sangdo told Hojoon how it was his first time and that he was nervous, how Hojoon was his first boyfriend ever and that he was scared he would hurt him or be terrible, but Hojoon reassured him, making sure to let him know that he knew what he was doing.

They told each other they were ready, and they wanted this.

--

"That was my first time..." Sangdo whispered.

"I know..." Hojoon answered with a small smile.

"Was I that bad?" Sangdo asked worried.

"No! Not at all... That's not what I meant..." Hojoon smiled leaning in to plant a small peck on Sangdo's lips.

They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes before Hojoon spoke.

"It was my first time too..."

Sangdo's eyes widened "What?"

Hojoon laughed a little "Yeah! Why are you so shocked? Do I look that much like someone who just sleeps around?"

"No... It's just... You were so confident in everything you were doing and... I thought you dated a guy for over a year before so I thought you guys had..."

"No..." Hojoon smiled "We were just 14 at the time... We didn't know much about gay ... Or in general... And we were scared we would get caught" Hojoon laughed.

Then Hojoon looked back at Sangdo with a piercing gaze "You were my first"

To Sangdo this meant a lot...

They had just climbed another special step in their relationship... They kept bonding every single moment, and with every second that passed their connection grew stronger.

This had been the best month of Sangdo's life all thanks to Hojoon... And to think that they still had two entire months to spend together was beyond him.

He was sure he would enjoy the next two months just as much as he enjoyed this first one. If not much...

Sangdo leaned in and kissed Hojoon again as if thanking him for existing at the same time as him.

End of flashback

 

Sangdo walked Hojoon to the door, always a step behind him, while trying to keep his emotions under control.

His eyes were burning and he could feel the tears slowly filling his eyes.

When they finally got down stairs, Sangdo carrying one of Hojoon's bags, while Hojoon carried the other two, the latter turned back to look at the taller.

Sangdo had no idea how Hojoon was able to smile in this situation, but still that beautiful shiny smile was plastered on the other's face.

Hojoon finally set both his bags on the floor and Sangdo did the same.

Sangdo felt Hojoon's arms wrapping around his shoulders but he didn't dare to look up, knowing he wouldn't be able to hold back his tears if he did.

"Sangdo..."

Sangdo didn't let him finish knowing what was about to come.

"Don't say it..." He finally looked up to meet Hojoon's sad eyes "It's hard enough as it is... Let's not say goodbye..." He felt a tear slipping down his check and he looked at the floor once again reaching his hand up to clean it right away "At least if we don't say it, it is not a definite goodbye"

This time, it was Hojoon's turn to interrupt the older.

"It is not a definitive goodbye! I told you I'm coming back next year, and the year after, and the year after that!"

Sangdo didn't want to believe that, too afraid that he wouldn't comeback.

"What if you find someone better than me before next year?" A small sob escaped his lips as Sangdo's voice broke at the last word. He was embarassed at his lack of self control but the fear of not seeing the other again after the three months they'd spent together was hitting him like a train.

"I won't! I promise I'm gonna write you love letters like in those romantic movies you love and I promise to call you everyday!"

Sangdo was crying by now, and as he looked up, the look on his face broke Hojoon's heart.

"Don't... Don't promise that you're gonna write... and don't promise that you'll call. I only want to ask one single thing of you..."

Hojoon let his arms fall to Sangdo's sides and held his hands, nodding his head "Anything..."

"Promise me you won't forget me... Even if you do find someone better, please don't forget us. 'Cause I won't..."

Hojoon pulled at Sangdo's hands and leaned forward to kiss him.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds, with Sangdo's wet cheek rubbing against Hojoon's dry one.

To Sangdo though, the kiss lasted too little, and as they broke the kiss, Hojoon leaned his forehead against Sangdo's only breaking the silence to whisper a small 'I promise'.

After a few seconds of them just breathing slowly and taking in the closeness that they wouldn't get to feel for a while, Hojoon finally pulled away andpicked up his bags.

Not wanting to ruin their last moment together, Sangdo cleaned his tears with his sleeve and forced a smile.

Hojoon returned the smile and opened the door walking up to the taxi that was waiting for him outside.

Sangdo picked up Hojoon's last bag and walked after him once again.

After putting all the bags on the back of the car, Hojoon turned to Sangdo giving him one last kiss.

"See you next year then?" Hojoon asked with a smile.

This time Sangdo was smiling.

"Yeah... See you next year!"

Hojoon got in the car and closed the door, looking up at Sangdo through the window.

Sangdo waved and Hojoon waved back before the car started moving.

For a few moments, Sangdo just stood there watching the car moving away faster than he would have liked it to, and finally turning at the end of the street.

Sangdo took a few seconds to get it through his head, before heading back inside the house.

Instead of going to his own room, Sangdo walked to the guests room where Hojoon had been staying.

He slowly pushed the door open.

The room seemed empty without Hojoon's clothes in the wardrobe, and his computer on the desk.

The bed where they made love for the first time was now bare, and Hojoon was on his way back home.

Very far from Sangdo...

As the room was pretty much empty, Sangdo noticed a small paper on top of the desk.

It had a pinkish color to it, and as Sangdo got closer, he noticed his name written on it with a perfect handwriting.

This automatically made him smile. Hojoon's handwriting.

As he opened the paper, more of that beautiful handwriting appeared.

It wasn't a big letter like in the movies they watched together, nor did it have only the three words, so often used.

This letter had five words written, and although they made him feel a bit sad, they also warmed his heart to no end.

They represented exacly what he felt too, and it was good to know that even now they were still thinking the same thing.

"You were my summer love."

 

--

A/N: *Hey guys! Go listen to Rainy Day after this ;) It will be like Sangdo/Hojoon's POV during Fall and Winter when they're not together!!*