Jinki guessed something was off when he hadn’t heard from you in a few hours. He presumed something was up when he got a hastily typed text from you begging for a ride. When he found you on the floor of your living room sobbing, he knew beyond a doubt something was horribly, horribly wrong.

 

“Oh my god _____, what happened?” Jinki said, rushing into the room. There he saw you sitting with your little dog in your lap, holding it close. The poor thing was wrapped in a blanket, you held him close to your body. His tail peeked out from the end of the blanket, faintly wagging at Jinki from where he lay.

 

“I-it’s Romeo…” you muttered through your tears. “Something happened to h-him. I c-called my m-mom and… and she thinks he had a .” With this verbalization of your worries you completely broke down. Romeo struggled to look up at you, clearly aware that something was troubling his owner but unable to do anything about it.

 

Jinki moved over to you, putting his right arm around your shoulders to comfort you and the white dog’s ears with his left hand. Upon moving closer to the animal he could tell that something was wrong; the usual hyper pet was subdued, his long tongue that always stuck out of his mouth remained unmoving, the cloudy gaze of his eyes staring at Jinki with a hollow, confused look.

 

“Do you know what happened?” Jinki asked in a soft voice, attempting to calm the both of you.

 

Through several sniffles and sobs, you managed to explain to him how Romeo had suddenly started hacking two days ago. You hadn’t been too worried at first, the Maltese had always had problems with his throat due to an incident he had had from his first home. However, as the days passed, things began to spiral and Romeo had suddenly been unable to walk. It seemed as if he had lost all sensation and control over the right side of his body. A quick phone call to your mom had nearly confirmed your worst fears, prompting you to take your baby to the vet. You knew that it would be impossible to drive in this condition, so you had texted your boyfriend to help assist you in this endeavor.

 

“Okay, let’s get you guys loaded up,” Jinki said, helping you stand while Romeo was still swaddled in your arms. He carefully guided you out through your front door, locking it behind you, before he helped you climb into his car and click the seatbelt in place around you. Silently he closed the door and got into the driver’s seat, setting off for the vet’s office.

 

The entire way there you were whispering to Romeo, and Jinki’s heart broke as he struggled to maintain focus on the road. He knew just how much this dog meant to you; Romeo was the first pet you had completely on your own, having gotten him just two short months after moving out of your parents’ house. The two of you had endured a lot together already, Romeo being your only source of support during your last breakup, before you met Jinki. Although he was older for a Maltese, he still had some years ahead of him, and having to say goodbye to him now would absolutely break you.

 

Romeo’s left ear perked up a bit at the sounds of crunching gravel and faint dog bark as Jinki pulled into a parking lot outside of the veterinarian’s office. Your boyfriend assisted you in getting out of the car and into the clinic, careful to keep the little dog safe and comfortable at all times. The receptionist greeted you warmly as Jinki gestured for you to sit down at the nearest chair. You kept whispering softly to your dog, the flow of tears mostly stopped at this point. Occasionally Jinki would ask you a question as he filled out the paperwork, but otherwise an unusual stillness hung over the waiting room.

 

Once your boyfriend had turned in the clipboard with the appropriate forms, it was only five minutes before you were directed to the second examination room. You gently set Romeo down on the table, careful to keep the blanket wrapped around him. His tail gave a half-hearted wiggle, making your lip quiver in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. You pulled one of the chairs up to the table so that you could still hold onto him while sitting down. Jinki followed, holding onto our other hand to let you know that he was here for you.

 

The ten minute wait that followed was mostly silent save for a hacking fit of Romeo’s that sounded horrible. Thankfully the vet entered the room soon after and began discussing with you the symptoms that your dog was displaying. A few nods, a check with the stethoscope around her neck, and then they were whisking Romeo away for some tests and X-rays.

 

As you sat there waiting for the news about your beloved dog, you sank into Jinki, allowing him to comfort you. Part of you wanted to keep crying but you were so exhausted that instead you closed your eyes and laid your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder. A soft kiss was pressed against your hair, his hand rubbing slow soothing circles on your back. You heard his angelic voice saying that everything would be all right, and before you knew it you were dozing off in the examination room.

 

The nap was a short one; Jinki nudged you awake as the vet reentered the room without your dog. Her face was fairly composed but you could see that she was grim, making your heart sink. You held your tears back however, determined to hear what she had to say in case there was a glimmer of hope.

 

“Well, we performed some tests and did an X-ray, and we were able to determine that it was indeed a . That being said, it appears that Romeo has lost total nerve control over the right side of his body. Paralysis is somewhat common in cases, but this kind of total paralysis of one side is rare, and… unfortunately, irreversible. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but even though he survived the , his quality of life would be extremely poor for however long he has left, and since he already had one , another one is much more likely. Ultimately it’s your decision, but as your vet, I would recommend euthanizing him so that way he is no longer in any pain.”

 

Upon hearing the word “euthanizing”, the dam holding back your tears dissolved and you were uncontrollably sobbing into Jinki’s shoulder. A scream emitted from your throat and you felt his strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close to him. Tear after tear came from your eyes; you cried so much that soon you were retching into a trash can you found in the corner of the room. Jinki held your hair back and calmly repeated your name to soothe you.

 

Eventually you collected your thoughts enough to turn to the doctor. “I… I don’t want him t-to be in any p-pain… If y-you think this is b-best, then g-go ahead….”

 

The vet nodded at you. “I’m so sorry, Miss _____. Would you like to accompany me so that you can be with him while it happens?”

 

You grabbed your boyfriend’s hand for strength before nodding at the vet. “I don’t want him to be alone.”

 

Without another word the doctor guided you into a room where the fluffy little dog was, lying on his left side on the blanket. The sight of your poor pet renewed your tears and you rushed over to him, his soft fur gently. The small guy lifted his head at your appearance and began to hack again. You shushed him through your tears and he calmed down, your face as best as he could with his half paralyzed body. Soon you were coughing again you were crying so much. Jinki could only stand back and watch the sad goodbye between owner and pet, between partners in crime, between life-sworn companions.

 

Before long the vet had the injection ready, turning to you to ask if it was okay to go ahead. Taking Romeo’s paw in your hand, you tried to say yes, but no sound came out, so you nodded once again. Jinki also placed a hand on the dog while the vet slipped the needle into a vein and released the fluid.

 

“He’ll go quickly, and he won’t feel a thing, I promise,” the vet stated. “I’ll leave you guys alone.” With that she had vanished, leaving the two of you, Romeo, and the crushing gravity of the situation as the only occupants of the room.

 

“I’m so sorry baby, I wish I could have protected you better,” you somehow managed to gasp out. “I never wanted this for you.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry…”

 

Tears streamed down the faces of both of you as Jinki said “Thanks for protecting her until I came along, little buddy. I promise I’ll take good care of her, don’t worry about a thing.”

 

There was no more hacking, only sobs filled the room as the two of you watched Romeo’s breathing become steady, then slow, then cease entirely, the little dog finally relieved from his suffering.

 

***

 

The overcast sky and cool breeze was appropriate for the somber occasion. Jinki patted the small square of overturned earth in your backyard where Romeo’s ashes rested. You had buried him with his collar and his favorite toy, a little green squeaky toy in the shape of a Christmas lightbulb. The house felt empty now, devoid of the small guy’s barks and the jingle of his tags. Jinki had stayed the night in an attempt to ease the transition from having Romeo sleeping in your bed, but you knew it was going to take more than a night to adjust.

 

Your boyfriend stood up and pulled you into him by the shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to the temple. “I’m sorry, _____. You did the right thing though. He’s in a better place right now.”

 

“You think?” you asked, looking up at him with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

 

Jinki caught a teardrop as it fell from your left eye and wiped it away. “Yeah, I know it. You saw the little guy. He did such a good job protecting you, he’s probably walking around with the most beautiful pair of doggy angel wings anyone’s ever seen. I bet all the poodles are jealous.”

 

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the thought, and you rested your head back on your boyfriend’s shoulder. To whatever power that had sent Romeo your way, which had gifted you with Jinki, you sent a silent prayer. Loss was never easy, change was something you fought against, but you had your boys watching after you-one from the side and one from above.