You slouched on the couch, bored. You sighed as you looked at the tv screen. No programme was given a chance to be watched as the stiff, also bored, figure beside you, switched channels countless of times. You looked out from the corner of your eye at him. His face was stone cold, a deep crease between his eyes caused by angrily frowning. You sighed again and stood up.

“I’m going to bed”

“‘Kay”

He didn’t even look at you and continued switching channels. You didn’t bother to say it again. He wouldn’t look up or just say “I heard you”

You went off and up the stairs. But as you went, your legs started to wobble. You clenched your teeth and hurried to the bedroom. Once you sat on the bed, you immediately burst into tears. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Only three years into your relationship and things were already declining, fast. What happened to him? It was if he changed overnight. You knew his job had huge pressure but you believed he would he would be able to rest when he came back home. Now it just felt like he brought it into the house and dwelled on it.

Once you got strength back into your legs and did your best to calm yourself down, you stood up and made your way to the bathroom. But tears welled up in your eyes again when you noticed how bloodshot they became.You the cold tap and splashed your face with the water. When you turned it off, you leaned on the sink, looked into the mirror and studied your face. Your eyes weren’t too red and puffy, the redness in your cheeks had gone down and your breathing came back to a steady pace. You let out a deep breath and dried your face. You couldn’t remember the last time you could openly cry in front of him. You didn’t want to make him more stressed. But once you brought the towel away from your face, you jumped in fright when you looked in the mirror again and saw him standing in the doorway, behind you. You didn’t say a word.

“I heard you crying” Were the first words he said.

You turned around but looked at the ground instead of facing him.

“I have a feeling it is because of this situation, or, problem we’re having” He said in a very monotone voice.

Your face scrunched up and you started to cry again. You heard him sigh and brought you into a hug. It was a tight embrace, one that you should have felt better in, but it felt a little forced.

“Come on, we’ll talk about this in the bedroom”

You nodded and let him take your hand and bring you there. There was a heavy silence when both of you sat down on the bed. There was so much to talk about but where to start was a big problem. You had an idea though to definitely get him to talk.

“I want to see another person” You said, doing your best to stay calm.

“What?” He said, quietly.

You looked at him, straight in the eyes. This was a stupid idea but it was the only one that came to you.

“Yeah. I’ve known him for a long time now. I don’t see him much anymore or sometimes not at all but he’s a good guy and he makes me happy”

There was no response back only the look of shock on his face.

Once again tears welled up and your voice tured shaky.

“He knows what to say to me when I’m upset and will do everything and anything for me”  

The words started to get too much for you. Tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I...I...love him so much that I sometimes question how I manage to even know this person”

You moved closer to him and put your head against his chest.

“And the worst part is…” You clung onto his shoulders “He looks like you”

You left it at that. You couldn’t talk any further even if you wanted to. You were expecting to be pushed off and yelled at but you felt two arms around you again. It wasn’t like the last one he gave you. This one felt like the first time he hugged you. It was warm, safe, and nothing could get at you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and rested your chin there too.

“I’m sorry” It was a barely audible, almost as if he believed someone else was listening in the room.

“I’m sorry” This time it was louder “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”

His embrace got tighter.

“I love you. I love you so much” He kissed your head and pulled you back “I hate this too. I wish this wouldn’t happen to me. I’ll try to be better. The pressure just comes with the job and sometimes it just really hard to let go now”

“I know” You whispered and wiped away a couple of stray tears that slid down his cheeks “I know...I can’t imagine the stress, I really can’t but all I want is for you too let it go when you come back home. You know I always spoil you when you come back because I miss you so much”

You smiled when you saw a small smile from him.

“There” You entwined your fingers with his “He’s starting to come back”

“Um…do you want to talk about this all now?”

You smiled again, knowing he wanted to just make you feel better now.

“I do. What did you have in mind?”

“Um...I guess what little things we can fix first”

“Okay, great!” You moved away from him and reached into your bedside locker and pulled out a small book.

“I had to cave in and buy myself a diary because I couldn’t talk to you about stuff anymore”

“Oh” He blinked.

You opened it and flicked through a couple of pages before stopping.

“Okay I know this is jumping ahead but I want to start off with the problem of not having because I believe if we fix that, everything will be easier then”

“Al...alright…” He laughed, slightly nervous.

You read out what you had written down.

“We haven’t had for over a month now. I’m beginning to forget what it feels like. Of course the last time we did it, I was the one who was left unsatisfied when usually I’d be exhausted by then”

You looked at him with your head tilted.

“Well?”

“I...I didn’t know it was that long”

“I wonder what your internet history is like” You grinned “Anyway, that’s one small thing we can take care of”

You went back to looking at the diary and skipped a good few pages.

“That’s...that’s...a lot of things to mention” He said in a worried tone.

“Hm? Oh, no, that’s all my complaining about it”

He kept his mouth shut. You eventually stopped turning the pages.

“The lack of proper cuddles and kisses”

“Wait, I thought that was fine!”

“Uh, no” You looked at him, frowning “They’re too quick and you barely kiss me when we go to sleep”

“Wow I need to be slapped” He said in a way that he almost wanted to be for his apparent crimes.

“Yes, you do. That last hug there felt like the only real one I ever got in the last few weeks. And it shouldn't have  been because of this”

He looked down.

“Sorry”

You ly a few more pages before stopped again.

“Hm, they all seem like ones that are more not as easily to fix right now but still ones we can do tomorrow” You closed the book and put it back “So, which one first?”

“Right now?”

You nodded.

“Could we...could we do the cuddles and kisses one first?”

You were surprisingly taken aback, expecting him to pick the other one.

“Don’t look at me with that face!” He wanted to be stern but couldn’t help but smile “But we should get all warm and stuff first”

You couldn’t help but jump onto him and kiss him.

“I love you so much!”

 

Downstairs, the two of you were in the kitchen. You put on the kettle for some tea and took out some cupcakes you forgot you had. Two strong arms wrapped round you again. You turned around and kissed him but before you could deepen the kiss, you heard the click of the kettle’s button, telling you it was ready.

“We’ll continue upstairs” You said, tapping his nose. He reluctantly let go and let you fill up the tea cups. Once everything was ready, you brought up a couple of cupcakes and he brought up the tea. A tea cup was set on each bedside locker along with two cupcakes for each side. You began to get into your pyjama bottoms but he stopped you.

“Wait wait wait!”

You watched him take off his top and shirt. He held out the shirt for you.

“Wear this. I know it’s not exactly the one you love but almost all my clothes are in the wash”

You could have fainted with happiness. The one you loved, would only bring you back pain of this was the only thing that would comfort you. You excitedly put it on and buttoned only a few buttons to feel even more comfortable. He remained topless. Eventually getting under the duvet and settling down, you carefully got your tea and leaned into his body. He felt warm and soft. No more tensing and no contact. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your forehead.

“Now I see what you meant by lack of kisses and cuddles. I’m such an idiot”

You hummed, happily.

“That’s nothing new”

“That’s true” The no protesting was back again too.

He took a sip of his tea and then set it down. He picked up one of his cupcakes and took a bite out of it.

“I can’t remember the last time I had one of these” He said, taking another bite.

“Me neither”

You started to remember all the first times you had with him. The first time you shared a bed together like this seemed so long ago. You were still a little nervous around him. There was no sleep that night though as both of you just talked all night, only noticing the time when his alarm went off for 7am. The comfortable silence was back too. That was one of the things you missed the most. Now you could close your eyes and turn further into him.

“Careful it doesn’t spill” He said, nudging you.

You sat up a little and set the cup down, then also getting a cupcake.You tore off a bit and put it up to his lips.

“I have my own!”

“I know, we just haven’t done this in a while”

He opened his mouth and you popped the piece into it. When he had finished his own one, he rubbed his hands together to get the crumbs off. But when he shifted to get the other cupcake, the excess crumbs on the bedsheet, fell down his body.

“Ah sh-” He mumbled “Could I just get out to brush these off me?”

You finished off your cupcake and shook your head. You picked off some of the crumbs off him and ate them. You did this while slowly going down his body until, you reached his crotch. You looked up at him, gave his neck a kiss and whispered;

“I wanna do the other problem now”

 

The sun shone through the curtain, disturbing your sleep. You pulled the duvet over your head and turned around but bumped into something which opened your eyes this time. You smiled when you realized it was his chest. Though it was something you would have woken up many times to before, this time everything came back together again. He was satisfied, you were satisfied and it felt like nothing had ever happened to disrupt this. He woke up with a start when he felt you snuggling into him. He smiled and rested his chin on your head.

“Morning” He yawned.

“Morning”

He smiled at your slightly muffled voice.

“What are we going to fix today?”

“Mmm…” You groaned “I don’t wanna think of that right now”

“Okay” He said, holding you tight.

You nuzzled his chest and moved yourself up so you were facing facing him. You pressed your forehead on his and kissed him. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear.

“So tell me more about this other person you want to see”

“Well...now I know that he definitely still loves me and love him also he knows how ridiculously cheesy I can be and the absolute best part of all is that he’s you”