What the eyes don’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve.

And that is why Yoongi finds himself running away from the crowd. This is a familiar crowd which consists of his band members, the staff, the stage crew and their family members – his family left right after the concert ended. Still, he has this urge to be somewhere where no one can see him, talk to him, or touch him. All the hugging and pulling are getting on his nerves.

Especially when Jimin is pulling him to greet people, tugging his sleeve so he can’t leave and side hugging him just to make sure he doesn’t feel left out just because his family isn’t there.

The Park Jimin does to him, he sees it now, clearly. He tried denying it but the more he ignores the more he adores the younger boy.

Jimin has a round pretty face making everyone wants to either kiss or pinch his cheeks. Yoongi just wants to stare at it. His laugh has always been the combination of total amusement and being so done with things and sometimes it settles in the middle. It’s beautiful. His eyes form the half-moon shape whenever he smiles or laughs. Yoongi’s own heart flutters at that.

Park Jimin, he has to stay away from Park Jimin.

He catches feelings and it’s dangerous. Worse part of this is Park Jimin knowing about his little crush. Worst, Park Jimin spares him from any conversations in regards to it.

Yoongi is always torn apart between wanting Jimin to talk to him about it and wanting Jimin to never mention anything about it ever.

The line gets blurry tonight. One time that makes Yoongi’s heart totally stopped is that time when Jimin got so upset with him. ‘Stop trying to avoid me. We are a team.’ Still, he was polite enough not to mention the real issue, just voicing out some dissatisfactions when he caught Yoongi changing seats so they didn’t have to sit next to each other in an interview. It was childish of Yoongi, he will admit that.

This time too, he knows Jimin is looking but he doesn’t care about being childish now. He is physically tired and mentally exhausted. He has an excuse. Jimin’s eyes follow him until he leaves the hall where people are busy taking pictures after the concert. The concert is over but his nerve system still threatens to break down any seconds.

The flashes of the camera are going to make him blind, the laughter from the group members are deafening, and the questioning stares from Jimin are going to make him lose his mind.

On stage, he thought he was going crazy with Jimin always finding ways to stand near him. Jimin, he knew Yoongi had nowhere to run to and he took that chance to initiate physical contact every damn time. Yoongi almost lost all sense of control at every touch. Every touch felt like strong electric clearly fed with great affection. The soft touch on his cheek when Jimin wipes his sweat, the strong grip on his arm when he swayed to the wrong direction, the assuring fingers wrapped around his wrist when he was about to cry, and the almost non-existent touch when Jimin pushed a strand of hair away from covering Yoongi’s eye. They burnt.

They smiled at each other when Jimin was busy fixing his hair, Yoongi’s hand reached out for Jimin’s and held it a few seconds too long, and the fans cheered at them. Jimin was the first to turn away, still wearing the smile, and ran to another member. Yoongi couldn’t tell which member because he was left frozen in place.

He had to admit he had issue with Park Jimin’s smile, enough to unnerve him and it is affecting his whole body, mind, and soul. As he watched Jimin ran around the stage, Yoongi wondered if the last song he was working on was meant for Jimin. The light steps. The soft pink hair. The beautiful smile.

Loving Jimin is like selling his soul to the devil. He no longer has full control over his own doings, his happiness has everything to do with Park Jimin, his mental health correlates to how well his relationship with Jimin is going, and even worse now, his mood associates strongly to his level of jealousy. Nothing about him is his anymore. He doesn’t feel like he owns Min Yoongi anymore.

What the eyes don’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve.

He didn’t know, ten minutes ago, he didn’t know he had a monster inside of him, raging and roaring monster threatening to crawl its way up whenever he sees someone touches Jimin. All the blood in him came rushing at once to his head is the reason why Yoongi is running away. He wants to act cool about this, he is Min Yoongi anyway. Min Yoongi doesn’t cry at the greatest moment of his life. Min Yoongi doesn’t cry when his appendix burst. Min Yoongi certainly is not going to cry over seeing a girl who happily claimed she is Jimin’s girlfriend. He isn’t going to cry at the look of pure delight in Jimin’s face like someone just flipped a switch when he saw her.

Does he just consider crying over this? He is considering crying over this. Such a not-Min-Yoongi thing to do. Yoongi pulls away the towel that he has around the scruff of his neck. It’s wet and disgusting. Might as well shift all his anger to the poor towel. He throws it away and it hits flat to the wall before sliding down the floor.

As soon as he does that, he remembers the fans that would die just to touch the towel, the creative staff that spent their time for their outfits and designed the small logo on the towel, and the cleaner that might have to pick it up because he decided to be a horrible human being in his moments of utter jealousy.

Yoongi stops, his conscience making him feel like a pile of . ‘.’

‘That’s not nice.’

Yoongi is frozen, yet again. He recognizes this voice. Park Jimin. He would recognize it straight away even if Jimin’s lung is filled with helium. He did that once, recognizing it almost immediately.

‘I don’t want to talk to you.’ Yoongi says, blunt. Whatever veil there’s he’s been using to hide his feeling, he is lifting it up. He has decided to open the lid of his hidden affection towards the younger boy and will not care of the consequences. He is jealous and he will show it.

‘About what?’ Jimin asks, instantly locking Yoongi’s gaze when Yoongi turns around to face him.

What is this? Yoongi asks himself. What game is Jimin playing? He knows exactly what sets Yoongi into his current mood. ‘I don’t know. Why are you here?’

That comes out a little harsher than what Yoongi thinks he sounds in his head.

‘I… I just. I don’t know.’ Jimin stutters. The confidence Jimin has seconds ago, the confidence he had on stage when he shook the very core of Min Yoongi, evaporated, slowly, painfully that even Yoongi could see. ‘I’ll just go… Sorry.’

Yoongi doesn't stop Jimin.

***

Jimin is, well, being Jimin.

He is sometimes with Hoseok and other times with Taehyung. If he is not with them then he must be with JungKook. Yoongi would never understand Jimin’s needs to be acknowledged by the youngest member. As far as he can see, JungKook has always loved Jimin, in his own way, by teasing Jimin endlessly. JungKook is a good kid, according to everyone.

‘Why so quiet?’

‘Go away, Hoseok.’ Yoongi smirked. Hoseok had been on his since morning. ‘I’m not telling you ever.’

Hoseok is one year younger than Yoongi but he is taller. The lead dancer of the group Bangtan Boys has a special place in Yoongi’s heart, being the first to break through the wall Yoongi mentally created to defence himself from the whole world. Yoongi isn’t ashamed to admit that he has a soft spot for Hoseok.

‘But hyung…’ And Yoongi loses it right there when Hoseok whines. Yoongi’s laugh breaks through the practice room.

‘I’m not telling you. Go away!’

‘You are no fun. Why did you even start telling me to just stop midway?’ Hoseok has a point and Yoongi will try to argue if he actually able to come up with a reason why he suddenly crawled into Hoseok’s bed in the middle of the night and started whining about how badly the world had treated him before he realized he was about to spill something he shouldn’t and bolted away from Hoseok’s room.

‘It’s just a rap I’m working on. I was just checking if you’d be emotionally affected by the lyric.’ Lies, but knowing Hoseok, he’s pretty clueless and to be fair, Yoongi was sort of melancholic last night.

‘Ah…’ Hoseok’s mouth forms an O in understanding. ‘What the though? I really thought you were sad or something.’

‘Did I sound sad?’ Yoongi asks, genuinely curious. How bad can Jimin’s effect be on him? Does it really feel like what they say when you fall in love, like being hit by a truck?

‘Yeah. Why do you think I care to know more?’ Hoseok nudges Yoongi’s side. ‘Don’t scare me like that again hyung. It’s… It’s just not you.’

‘Not me?’

Hoseok nods, ‘Not you to sound so ing sap like someone just breaks your heart.’

Yoongi lowered his head as realization hits him.

‘Oh .’

Yeah, . He has been hit by a truck.

***

Jimin knows. So he might as well don’t pretend like he is okay with this whole pairing thing.

In a photo-shoot session, they are paired up, only leaving the visual of the group, Seokjin, for solo photo-shoot.

Jungkook is paired up with Hoseok. Yoongi approves of this couple because both of them are good looking. Hell, they make good models if they somehow quit being an idol.

Yoongi is coupled with Taehyung. Curse his luck because if JungKook and Hoseok are good looking, Taehyung is drop dead gorgeous and almost unreal to be a normal human. Also, curse his luck because the photo-shoot hasn’t even started and Taehyung has already given Yoongi headache. It’s okay, he can handle Kim Taehyung for today. One glare is all he needs to shut him up.

Only that Yoongi doesn’t have the heart to stop Taehyung from animatedly explains about his visit back to his hometown.

‘And then hyung, my dog bit me. Can you believe that?’ Taehyung shakes his head. ‘My brother laughed his off I wanted to smack that little rascal. And then my grandma made me my favourite soup.’

They had a break for three days that ended yesterday. All members left for their home except Yoongi who chose to stay at the dorm, working on his next piece of music. Plus, his relationship with his family isn’t as good as the others’.

The dorm is his home now. The dorm is everything. The new addition of his own personal studio makes it even harder for Yoongi to leave the dorm.

He wasn’t even sure if his mother wanted him to come home when he called and informed her about the break. As much as he loves his family, he loves his group members as well, maybe just as much, maybe too much. He missed them so much when they weren’t around. He cares for them more than he cares for himself.

Yes, he can handle Kim Taehyung for the day.

‘Have you gotten yourself checked?’ Yoongi asks.

‘For what?’ Taehyung asks back.

Yoongi reached over Taehyung’s hair and ruffles it. ‘You dog bit you? Check for any infections?’

‘Nah. I think it’s okay. Got bitten a lot before and I am still strong.’ Taehyung flexes his arm and grins.

‘Good.’ Yoongi offers a smile and looks away.

Taehyung continues with his story and Yoongi listens with an ear. His sole focus now is on Jimin, who is teamed up with Namjoon. This couple he doesn’t approve. He always wonders why Jimin is so affectionate with their leader. He follows him around like a puppy, teases the leader whenever he is free and clings to the leader like his whole life depends on it.

Yoongi’s mood depends on Jimin. If only Jimin knows that, Jimin will probably stop trying to match the leader’s height. He is short and there’s no way he will stand any taller than Namjoon.

It annoys Yoongi so much when Jimin stands too close to the leader, their faces almost meet in the middle and Jimin tiptoes on his feet so he appears taller but never taller than the leader.

Namjoon is tall and attractive, add that to Yoongi’s list of reasons to feel insecure.

Namjoon has to back away to avoid any misfortunate collision between them. Namjoon holds on Jimin’s shoulder because he almost falls forward.

‘Give up.’ Yoongi mutters, rolling his eyes.

‘What?’ Taehyung asks, confused. ‘Should I stop caring about my family?’

‘Huh?’ Yoongi turns to face Taehyung who looks hurts.

‘I was talking about my parents and you said give up.’ Taehyung says. He doesn’t look hurt anymore, he looks concerned and Yoongi hates it. ‘Hyung, you should never give up on your family.’

Yoongi’s eyes doubled in size. ‘What? No! I was just talking to myself. I’m sorry.’ Yoongi pats Taehyung’s shoulder. ‘You are right. Never give up on your family.’

‘Hyung. Is there any reason why you didn’t want to go home?’

Yoongi sighs. Taehyung must not look this serious. Taehyung is a boy that has the word happiness written all over his face, walks on rainbows and smiles like the moon when the sun is gone. He isn’t allowed to look so serious. ‘Don’t worry about me Taehyung. I am okay.’

‘Really?’ Taehyung peers into Yoongi’s face. ‘Really, really, hyung?’

‘Reallllllly, Taehyung.’ Yoongi stresses, getting annoyed now.

Taehyung laughs, backing away, knows when not to push any further. ‘Just to let you know, you have us. We are your family.’

‘I know.’ Yoongi agrees because they really are.

Except this one person he wants to scratch from his family list. Yoongi doesn’t want him as a family.

***

When it comes the time for group photo-shoot, Yoongi curses his luck. They are made to stand in line and he is standing right next to Jimin. Out of all members, he has to stand between Jimin and Hoseok who occasionally reach out for each other, playing, never caring about who is bearing with them in the middle. Yoongi wants to change the position but a look from Jimin has him standing still. Obliged.

Jimin smiles at him and reaches for his forehead, puts his thumb between Yoongi’s eyebrows and soothes his frown. ‘Smile hyung.’

Yoongi doesn’t say anything. He plays it cool and starts posing for the camera.

Jimin looks amused and then he too focuses on the camera.

Yoongi is sure he is going to be blind in two years if this continues. He loves photography but he hates it so much when he is made the subject.

Yoongi startles when Jimin links their arms together. Thank god he isn’t just doing that to him, Jimin links his other arm with Namjoon's who stands on his other side. Jimin is laughing and Yoongi feels a cold shiver run down his spine.

Yoongi pulls away.

Jimin lets him and then when the photographer says ‘Just act comfortably.’ Jimin turns to face Namjoon. He does it again, tiptoeing to match Namjoon’s height. Namjoon fights down a smile and raises his eyebrows, challenging. Jimin laughs again. Boy, does he laugh a lot.

Yoongi chances a glance at the duo, laughing and smiling at each other. It’s just Namjoon, Yoongi reminds himself. He must not be jealous of Namjoon the leader with high IQ, has perfect body proportion, has dimple on both cheeks, very good with words, thinks like he has lived for hundred years, and speaks so politely his deep voice could melt the entire north pole.

Yoongi rubs the back of his neck, he isn’t even posing but the photographer seems to like it. ‘Yes! Good one Yoongi!’

Good? Why does everyone find him attractive when he is angry? It makes him angrier.

‘Jimin, can you please face Yoongi?’ The photographer says but Jimin doesn’t hear him.

‘Yoongi, look at Jimin.’ The photographer says. Yoongi obliges and to his eternal annoyance, Jimin is having a staring contest with Namjoon.

‘Jimin, please turn around.’ Namjoon hears the photographer. He holds Jimin’s elbows to make him tu