Back To You

Jinwoo would never forget that scent. Never.
Whenever Seunghoon returned, that scent was making disappear every feeling of loneliness.

Their embrace lasted for several minutes and it was soffocating, but Jinwoo didn't mind because he was back.
He would not risk losing him again in that war. Jinwoo wouldn't let him go again.

How many nights he had spent sleepless and worried? 
It was simply terrified of not seeing him again.
But now he was there, although with his arm in plaster, he was still alive. 

The tears were not lacking.
Long wet trails were falling from the big eyes of the boy, making their way down his cheeks. "You can't imagine how much I've missed you." Jinwoo murmured against the other's shoulder.

Seunghoon dropped his jacket on the ground. That winter he had suffered too much. The coldest he has ever known. But now he was in the arms of the only source of heat he needed.

"Stop crying." finally said Seunghoon, the first words after his arrival. He couldn't stand seeing him cry, he knew they were tears of joy but they hid deepest emotions. 
Sadness, fear, loneliness.

"You know that I'll be here, with you." He reassured him, his head. The other nodded, showing a smile.
Seunghoon noticed those dark circles under Jinwoo's eyes when he had the chance to see his face. He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his shirt and then put his forehead against Jinwoo's closing his eyes. "I missed you too." he said before placing his lips on those of the boy. 

Jinwoo returned the kiss timidly because, although they had known for three years, the war had allowed him to see each other only a few times.
The rest of the time was only a continuous exchange of letters.
Letters that Jinwoo has never threw away.

Another kiss, and another one. And neither of them dared to break it.
Seunghoon took Jinwoo's hand placing it on his cheek. He was still close to his face, looking into his eyes. "How much time do you have?"

Jinwoo blushed, lowering his head. His eyes stared the floor, knowing well what he meant with that question. "It's still morning... mom went out less than an hour ago. She will be back for lunch."

No one knew of their relationship. Seunghoon would have risked too much because he was part of the army.
Jinwoo had not been accepted in the army because of his thin body, weak health and because of his ual orientation. And in the latter case he risked death which, fortunately, he had avoided. Thanks to his mother who had forced him to stay indoors during the day.

His mother had never suspected anything of the relationship between him and Seunghoon, she was convinced of a great friendship. But even if there was anything else she didn't care, unlike the others who could have killed them because they loved each other.

"But your arm..." Jinwoo said worried lifting his face up. Seunghoon kissed him again.
"Don't worry. It's nothing." and with that he surrounded him with his healthy arm, leaving a trail of light kisses on his cheek, making slowly his way down to the neck.

Jinwoo clutched in his hand Seunghoon's shirt, while the other his neck. 
He was shy, but he let Seunghoon do whatever he wanted because he trusted him.

"Hoonie..." was the nickname that Jinwoo had given to him, which, depending on the situation took different meanings. In that case Seunghoon knew immediately that they had to change room. 

"Let's go upstairs."



They walked closer, exchanging some kisses on the stairs.

Once inside Jinwoo's room, Seunghoon slowly raised Jinwoo's shirt, caressing his chest with his fingertips.

He could see his ribs, under the pale skin. "Jinwoo, please don't skip meals. I want you to be in good health."
Jinwoo didn't answer. That was the result after all those months without seeing him.
Anxiety had influenced him a lot.

"Jinwoo, promise me. Promise me that you will eat and sleep enough." Seunghoon showed him his pinkie as a sign of promise, as the kids did. 
"I promise only if you promise me that you'll stay here with me." Seunghoon crossed the little finger of Jinwoo with his.

"I'll be here all my life. I promise."

And after that Jinwoo's arms wrapped Seunghoon's neck, making him step back in the direction of the bed while kissing.

Soon, the two bodies heated up, feeling the need to love each another, like they had never done before.

Their mouths opened, starting a dance of tongues ​​and slow kisses.
Despite the fatigue, their bodies seemed to wake up because of the continuous rubbings of their members.

The room filled immediately with their moans and the sound echoed in Jinwoo's head.
His pale skin turned into a rosy color on his cheeks like some parts of his torso because of the marks that Seunghoon left with his bites.

But they were painful bites. Too painful.
They burned like open wounds.



Jinwoo opened his eyes staring at those red cuts on his skin. They hurt too much.

He looked at the ceiling and then he remebered.
Right. How to forget the harsh reality?

Jinwoo sat on the bed the sheets.
'Another dream?' He thought, beginning to cry again feeling nostalgic. 'It felt so real.'

Dreams could only console him, but nothing could give him back his happiness.

And that psychiatric hospital was not his place.
He shouldn't be there. He was not ill.
That place made him crazy.

He vaguely remembered his arrest. Just some absurd accusations and his mother who begged mercy to the policemen.

And the cuts were just an attempt for the fastest way to end his life.
He would have preferred to die rather than stay another second there.

At least death would have brought him closer to Seunghoon.

Forever.

 

- - - - 
Author's note:

Thank you for reading my first JinHoon FF and I'm sorry for the mistakes... but english is not my first language, so I hope that you liked it even if it has a sad ending.
I consider myself a hard NamSong shipper, but my other ships in Winner are JinHoon and NamHoon. 
Thanks again and don't forget to leave a comment. 
-Armina

(Check out my NamSong acc on Instagram: @nam_and_song)