Short Story: Yoo Youngjae

I opened my eyes one morning and found it a little bit harder to breathe than usual. It was like the gravity of the Earth just decided to increase its pull on my lungs. And when I have struggled enough to deliver oxygen into my brain, my vision got clearer and a white blank wall registered its image in my mind. Suddenly, as if an unknown deity of the stupid wall used its powers on me, I felt like crying. I clenched my chest trying to suppress the tears that were on the verge of bubbling from my eyes. It hurt so much. The white blank space seemed to depict such doleful feeling. I felt something that of beyond grief. Was it what they call ‘waking up on the wrong side of the bed’? I think not.

I clambered down the double decker bed (yes I occupy the upper portion) while still a little groggy (yes again, six o’clock is way too early for me to wake up) and my heart heavy as lead. On my way to the toilet which was about ten steps away, I racked my brain for something that might have caused the great sorrow inside of me but found none. I couldn’t think of anything relevant. I was certain then that it was the white wall’s fault.

After splashing my face with cold tap water, I looked at my reflection on the mirror. The droplets of water that trickled down my face looked like my unshed tears. The corners of my mouth lifted a little at the thought. Hah, I actually smiled. Well, it was more of like a grimace though. I couldn’t really recall the last time I let out a genuine hearty laugh. Or had I laughed like that at all? Maybe?

My heart still as heavy as before, I got out of the toilet hesitantly. My roommate would surely be awake at any moment and I still couldn’t adjust my facial expression. But as soon as I turned the knob and opened the door, I saw Daehyun (my roommate) so I had no other choice but to greet him. I let out a low grumble of ‘good morning’ and clutched my head. I pretended to have a very bad headache so being the good friend that he likes to portray, or so what I’ve been thinking, he had this worried face complete with furrowed brows and eyes that looks like that of a dog waiting for his treat along with more bull. He’s not very good at acting by the way. His entire existence makes my insides tickle of somewhat close to irritation but of course, I had no other option but play my part of being the sick friend so I told him that I’ll be fine and that I just needed more rest.

I climbed up my bed again and pulled the sheets on top of my head as I lied down. It was hot but I couldn’t care less. I needed cover. As soon as I curled up, my tears flowed like rivers. I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t contain them. I couldn’t hold them in any longer. But still, I couldn’t explain why I had so much grief. Did the entire humanity transfer all of their sorrow to me?

After a couple of minutes, they finally stopped. All that’s left on me was my awful face sweating all over and a nose full of snot. I inwardly cursed as I tried to grab the towel hanging just beside my bed. It was supposed to be nearer to me but for some reason it moved along the wire away from me and I couldn’t reach the damned thing anymore. Unexpectedly enough, a hand snatched it and before I could complain, it was already used to dry the remnants of the tears on my face.

I lifted the lid of my eyes and I saw Daehyun’s white shirt.

Then it happened again.

What the hell was the white blank space trying to tell me? Was I the one who’s deaf or it’s just mute? I couldn’t hear anything. But even though there were no words to decipher, my heart understood its message just fine. It hurt. It was suffocating and very painful.

That time, I bawled up. I let it all out. And as I did, I felt a warm embrace envelope me. The warmth made me imagine of the silent but friendly sunlight finding its way inside our room through the gaps of the draped curtain and made the white wall blend with light yellow. With that thought, I felt like some weight was lifted off me so we stayed in that state for I don’t know how long. And when my bawling became short sniffs here and there, Daehyun slowly distanced from me so he could meet my eyes.

I had a lie crafted inside my head already and I was ready to give it to him right away if he asked about what my problem was or what was bugging me.

But he didn’t.

 Instead, he calmly asked, “Now Youngjae-ssi. What do you want for breakfast?”

I had trouble answering because I didn’t anticipate it. It was the first time I encountered such a difficult question in my life. All because I didn’t see it coming. I’d always correctly answered all the questions that came my way because I was always ready for them. But obviously, that time was different.

I didn’t want to look and sound stupid at the same time so instead of spouting incoherent words, I voiced out the very first thing that came to my mind.

“Can we paint our room black?”

And as though he anticipated my question already, he let out a short laugh and replied. “I’m afraid our landlady won’t allow that. So instead of painting this room black,” he paused and pulled something out of his pants’ back pocket. “Wear this.” He smiled as he put on a tinted eyeglass on me. “Now you look better.” He added.

I, Yoo Youngjae, therefore concluded that my roommate Jung Daehyun is not human and I would love to meet more of his specie.

Don’t ask me why.

A/N: who else hates white?