hansol wakes up to the sound of steps in the hallway. soon the steps near his apartment and he hears the door unlocking. it must be jiho coming back from a party. jiho's steps are soft as he approaches hansol's bed to check if he's asleep. hansol closes his eyes and evens out his breathing. jiho worries about him too much sometimes - it doesn't make hansol angry, just frustrated.

he has trouble falling asleep again. he can hear jiho's soft breathing from the other side of the room. hansol lies awake, on his back, staring at the ceiling. his vision is strangely blurry and his eyes burn slightly. after what feels like an hour, he gets up and takes his blanket to the living room. he settles down there, on the cold leather couch, wrapping himself in the blanket. hansol turns on the tv, lowering the volume to the minimum. he switches from channel to channel, mostly only r-rated action movies and ty reruns of reality tv are on at this time though. he stops on a retro music channel and watches bowie dance in high heels. his breathing calms and he closes his eyes not long after.

jiho finds hansol in the morning, curled up on the couch in a position that has to make his neck hurt. he doesn't want to wake him up though, hansol always seems so tired lately. he goes to turn the tv off and smiles fondly at hansol's peaceful expression.

once jiho's finished with breakfast, hansol is groaning from the couch already.

"well good morning princess" jiho walks into the living room with coffee in hand.

"what time is it?" hansol croaks, throat dry.

"it's around half past 8, you can still go to sleep," jiho says and sits down on the armrest next to hansol.

hansol nods, but moves his head onto jiho's lap. his eyes are still closed but he won't fall asleep again. jiho softly runs his fingers through hansol's hair. it's all dry from bleaching and lack of care. usually hansol takes care of his hair well. usually hansol takes care of himself well in general.

sometimes he needs help though.

hansol gets out of his blanket nest almost an hour later, when jiho has already gone to his morning classes. he hesitates between showering and eating breakfast, but his shame wins and he ends up showering. he scrubs himself clean carefully, feeling tired already. exhaustion tugs at his very being and he drags himself out of the bathroom, towel draped around him like a cape. he ends up falling back on his bed, only able to bring himself to check his phone for messages and news. he replies to friends and checks out some updates on his favorite artists. the time is 9:25 now. he needs to be out by 9:40. yet he's unable to stop scrolling, unable to lift his legs that feel heavy with lead. five minutes before he needs to leave, he finally gets up and gets dressed. he wears a hoodie, unwilling to deal with people today. he leaves the apartment complex realizing he left his textbook at home but he can't go back for it now.

the drive to college is short and uneventful, passing by huge blocky buildings, which give off the vibe of an anthill more than a human house.

the college itself is in several buildings all over town but the art department is here, an old, unfitting building in the middle of a concrete jungle. students are hanging out in the garden, sitting on the grass and chatting happily, some of them sunbathing despite the temperature being still on the edge of chilly. hansol passes them by, some of them nodding at him but he doesn't have the strength to say hello to them.

someone catches up to him in the hallway though. it's sangwon, casually draping an arm around hansol's shoulders. hansol tries to shake him off briefly, but sangwon clings to him still.

"you look grumpy today hyung," sangwon notes.

"and you look ugly," hansol retorts but it has no bite to it.

"did your girlfriend dump you or what?" sangwon asks and sighs, taking hansol's bag from him and carrying it on his shoulder. hansol would protest but he doesn't have the energy to get into an argument over something so small.

"no, seeing as i don't ing have one," hansol wriggles out of sangwon's grasp.

"i've been telling you if you went out more, you could find one easily."

"no thanks," hansol refuses and snatches his bag back from sangwon. he's already feeling way too irritated, despite sangwon's good intentions. sangwon shrugs and keeps following hansol into the classroom. hansol sits at the very back, in a corner, away from people. there's no one next to him (thank god) because sound doesn't carry well in the room, but hansol is content, having some space for himself. sangwon sits on hansol's desk and takes out his sketchbook. sangwon is in his first year at this college but he has art theory classes with hansol because he takes extra classes.

hansol's gaze softens when he realizes sangwon is here to ask him for advice. sangwon is loud sometimes, rude at other times but very sensitive at the same time. hansol listens to his worries about his newest art project, rather than giving advice, hansol tries to make sangwon realize his own wishes. sangwon still relies heavily on other people's validation, doesn't let his art be all-consuming and unapologetic. sangwon's art is sometimes crossing borders, it's edgy and a bit controversial, but never truly genuine.

five minutes before the lesson starts, sangwon goes to sit with sehyuk at the front. hansol curls up into himself, ready to suffer through a boring lecture again. he should have bought coffee, he realizes. it's not really that tasty, but it can usually get him through the day. he considers getting up and going to get some, but he's way too comfortable leaning against the cool wall. the lesson is about to start when a boy runs into the classroom. late arrival