Here he goes again. Telling me How much he’s in love. Don’t seem to know about my heart.

Let’s start from the beggining. I met Him in 2nd Grade. I was the new kid, being queit a wirdo child at that time ( not like it is different from now), no one wanted to be my friend. I’ve been alone most of the time, and it doesn't really bothered me, because… who wants to be around stupid poeple? As an eight year old, i already discriminated others by thier stupidity… well things changed very quikly in middle school.

I realiazed that being smart means you are a looser (according to them at least). Who want to be a looser right? So i did hide it. Act like others, thought the 11 year old me. I got some friends, who’se never really know me, but i had quiet a time with them. I was’nt alone anymore. But after a while it started to become tiring, and i get frustrated,so one day I solved that math problem…  everything changed afterwards.

You would think „Oh, she become a geek again!” No, this not what happened. At the exact minute He walked in. He walked in and turned my life upside-down. With that cat-like smile, cute sparkling eyes, with his long eyelashes… Myheart started to beat faster and faster, He started to shine in front of me, and a movie-like scnene played in my head in that instant.

He and me sitting on the tree, share our chocolette (Usually I never-ever would do that , EVER!)

I tought I did find the one for me… until i realize something very important… He’s way out of my league. He was too perfect, too handsome, too smart to look at a girl like me. So i ended up in this freaking friend zone i’m always reading about in books, and beleive me there is nothing worse than that.

Listen to  Him telling me bout his new crush, and be happy when they end up together. Sometimes even with my help. How could someone be so stupid, right?  Well obviously I was. Helping Him every time, pretend to be happy ( well, part of me was, but still!) for Him, and than go home and cry in the croner of my room like a five year old who just lost Her favorite teddy bear on the playground. It was misareble. So i decided to end it. Be brave, get over it, and confess…

BIG MISTAKE!

I got rejected a second later, with the excuse of „I don’t want to ruin our friendship!”

I said it was fine, i just wanted to make sure if my feelings are real or not. And i lied again, saying, it was not. Am I stupid? Probably, and probably not in the same time.

Cha Eunwoo was a gentleman indeed, He keep His distance when I needed time to recover, and slowly things gone back to normal. Friendship for Him, friend zone for Me. But it was okay, i could be with Him at least.

Couple of year gone by, i met His friends before and after that incident. We become really close, they where my best friends, each one of them. Expect one person. It have to be like that right? I can’t like everyone… But i didn't hated Him or Disliked Him that much (?!) We just couln't get as close as I was with the others. He was different. I don’t know why, i never really payed attention to him to tell why. He was different and this is the end of the story.

I had my eyes only for Eunwoo. And no one else. I was blinded by love – or i tought so.

But here he goes again. Telling me how much he’s in love. Don’t seems to know about my heart, not even after i told Him. He just ignored that conversaion, burried it, and never talked about it again, but i can’t stand this anymore. I want Him to see me the way i see us.

- Eunwoo… I… - I really wanted to tell Him. I wanted Him to know, how much this hurts me…. but i couldn’t. – I hope you’ll be happy. I hope this time it will work out for you! – Why am i Such a looser? I want to slap myself, but I just choose to leave, and he didn’t stoped me. He never did dough. -  See you Tommorow! Tell me everything about your date, okay? – We hugged, He said "of course, and we separated"… And this is where everything changes without me noticing it.

I got home safe… with a broken heart, but there is nothing new in it. My dad looked at me, at dinnertime, and He saw it in a second.

- Did Eunwoo got a new girlfriend?

- How do you know? – i was really suprised, I tought i did hide it well this time.

- Oh, Darling! You are an open book for me! So, it is true then?

- Yes. He said his really in love this time… - i stared at my spagetthi. Haven’t eat  a little bit of it yet. Probably this is why my dad ask questions. 

- Darling, He always saying this. But in the end it never last long. Don’t be too sad. – He patted my shoulder.

- I’m not sad. – shook my head. Not gonna admit it, it will make it worse.

- Right. keep saying this to yourself, may be one day, it won’t be a lie. – And that was it. I told Him about the rest of my day, and we went to our separate afternoon and night rootes.

I just had my shower when my phone started to ring. Why is it ringing now? Maybe Eunwoo calling me to tell how horrible His date was? False hopes.

- Hallo? – i was excided for no reason – i figured after a few second.

- Ah, Hanna, How are you? – I heard His voice, and all my exciment gone away.

- Moonbin. Why are you calling me? – I didn’t understand. – And where did you get my phone number from?

- Ah… I… Uhm. Why did i called you? – It seems to me, for no reason. – I… I called you because… - Will he finish it or not? What now? – Eunwoo got a new girlfriend, did you know? – Why does He have to drag about it?

- Yes, i do. Why are you asking? – And why do I keep asking questions? I dont want to talk to Him. I’m not in the mood.

- Uhm.. Are you… are you all right?

- He? Are you worried or what? – i sarcasticly chukled for no reason to be honest, i guess it’s just his voice. Have no idea, honestly. he didn’t answer to me. Should i just hang up?

MOONBIN POV:

What can i do? I really do worried. But if i tell yes, will she know about my feelings? Will she hate me even more?

I wish i was Eunwoo in this moment. But i’m not. I’m only Moonbin. The guy who waits to be noticed. And asking around for her phone number from the others because He is the only one who don't have it yet. Thankfully Jinjin was nice enough to give it to me.

HANA POV:

- Are you here, Moonbin? – i got bored of waiting now. – I gonna hung up!

- Yes! I’m here! Don’t do that please. – this boy really… he answered right away. – Yes, actually. I was worried, because i know, you like Him more than a friend, so… i tought i can be youre shoulder for tonight, theoretically of course, because i’m not there, but we can meet and…

- Are you sirious right now? – i can’t beleive this guy really.

- Yes. I am.

- Well, mind your own business, Moonbin! – and it was over. I hung up, I Don’t wanna waste my time on him any longer.

MOONBIN POV:

She hung up on me…

- I can’t see you in pain, because i really like you. I think about you all day long. – said it to the phone, looking at the black screen. – Ah! – I wanted to scream. The studio was empty anyway, so i just did. After i had enough, i sit down right in front of the mirror. – I’m so doomed… - sigh just came out immediatly. What can i do?

Nothing honestly. If i’m worried, She thinks i’m nosey, if i’m not, she thinks i’m too much to handel. Why can’t i be Eunwoo?

The cold mirror made me feel a little better, as it touched my back, but still! I’m the only one in pain here.

EUNWOO POV:

I heard Him talking on the phone. I knew who he was talking to. He always stutters when He’s talking with Her.

He never knows what to say, because íhanna drifts away from Him so easily. I feel sorry for Him. I know how much he likes her.

Since the first day they met He always talking about her – of course when she is not there. And when she is, he cant look away. He just amazed by her, blushing everytime, and stutters like a fool. We can't leave him alone with it, but at the other hand, we all know how much He suffers to be not noticed by her, but we are mans what are you excepting? But he never succeed, not even once. It seems like he is totally invisible for her.

And i know that it’s my fault, but what can i do? I dont really want to let her go. I want to be selfish and keep her close to me. Even if i know it’s not right. I’m such a terrible person.

- Binie, are you all right? – I can’t leave him alone now. He needs a friend, even if it’s a selfish one.

- Eunwoo. Yes i just can’t seem to get the moves right. It upsets me. – A bright, but fake smile from him. Covering up his fail with Hanna with the thing his really good in, dance. Like i will beleive it. He learns the fastest out of the six of us.

- I heard you, you don’t have to lie. – He gives up right away with a deep sigh.

- She just… - staring at his phone. What i see is a picture of Hanna. Smiling like an angel. – She’s so cold to me, you know? I… I don’t know what to do. I can’t take my eyes off of her when she’s smiling or if she’s near to me, or far from me, it doesn’t really matter, my heart just start to race like crazy and… it hurts me, because i know, she’s not into me at all. But i just… should i give up? I… I trying to get close to her but she always push me away…

- You won’t give up. I know you. You have to get yourself together, muster up your courage and tell her.

- I’ll see. I’m not gonna back up this time. – And i believed in that. His eyes were burning. His fighting spirit explored. - Do you think i can do it? - get a little lost again.

- Yes! You are our Binie. You can do averything you put your mind in. - I will support Him, no matter how much is it hurts me. I choose to be a good friend.

MOONBIN POV:

I’ll make her mine. I don’t care if she says no at first. I’ll make her change her mind!

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And he did try everything. Texted her every morning, night, and daytime until Hanna couldn’t ignore him anymore. He did a great job to be honest.

- You are acting wierd these days Moonbin. What’s wrong with you? – she finally asked on her way home. She couldn’t get rid of Him, He wanted to walk her home at any price.

- I Don’t know what you are talking about… - Shy smile, neck rubbing. He was something indeed. But Hanna just can’t make herself stop thinking about how cute his smile is, how big his chocolett brown eyes is, and how much she wants to touch those lips right infront of her.

She couldn’t believe it dough. In a couple of months how can someone manage to change a heart, esspecially hers. She had no idea.

- You don’t know? That’s rubbish! You know exactly what am i talking about, and you gonna tell me the reason behind all this in this instant. Or…

- Or? – Little did he know, where this conversation will lead them. Into Heaven or Hell. In his option it was time to know. 

- I’m not gonna talk to you again. EVER! – She pushed a little on Moonbin with her right hand.

Moonbin took his chances, with the "now or never" toughts going around in his head. Placed Hanna's palm on his heart, wich is beated like crazy in that moment.

- What are you… - It was the first time he didn’t listened.

- I do these thing because… - He hasitated for a moment. Of course he did. – Okay, when a first met you, i could see what’s goin on with you and Eunwoo, i didn’t wanted to be part of it. But slowly… i just wanted to be him. I wished i was him every day. I called you, and you hung up on me all the time, didn’t reply for my text… i knew i had no chance. But… oh, when i realize that, i was already under water. There was no going back. I wanted you so badly, i… couldn’t take my eyes, and my mind off of you, and you did not see anything of it. I was so sad… but then suddenly… i tought…  - He looked in her eyes. very deeply, full of emotion even he didn’t know existed. especially not in Him. – Now or never. I gonna try, i gonna tell you how much i like you, how much i want to be with you. I literally want to spend my life with you. I just hope taht you’l give me a chance. even if it’s not now. If it’s in the future i can wait… that’s fine, all i want from you is a chance to show you how much i…

- I’ll give it to you! – that was all she said. That was the moment when she forgetten about everyone else in the world and get lost in those beautiful chocolette brown eyes forever.