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/// - means the beginning of a flashback, flash backs are written like this

 

 

2.9k words of sadness and tears, have fun reading!!

 

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Dandelions, Sunrises, Dirt and Smiles were only some of the words Seungcheol would describe his hometown and Jihoon.

He imagines Jihoon's dandelion smile, how the boy's hair was honey colored during sunrises, how the boy would always have dirt on his boots or on his face or on his hands and mostly how beautiful and elegant Jihoon looked when he smiled, how his teeth are perfecty white and his eyes close just a little and his shoulders go up.

Seungcheol remebers when they were only in 1st grade and when Seungcheol first told Jihoon he loved him, how he felt completely at ease when the latter smiled, how the smaller's smile reminded him of dandelion seed pods flying in the spring breeze, and ever since then he called Jihoon's smile dandelion smile, because it looked so perfectly pretty and tranquil.

///

"Come on!" Seungcheol shouted as his tiny feet hit the ground, the other huffing as he's having trouble keeping up.

"Seungcheol hyung!" Jihoon shouted, as the other finally stopped.

"Jihoonie you're really slow." the 7-years-old Seungcheol said.

"It's because you're taller than me." Jihoon grumbled.

Seungcheol had dragged Jihoon across the forest beside their school and they ended up in this small meadow, wild flowers littered the grounds along the grass and the dandelions.

"Look, make a wish" Seungcheol grabbed Jihoon's hand, putting a dandelion seed pod between the boy's fingers. "If you blow on it the seed pods will fly and make new flowers and if the flowers grow nicely, your wish will come true."

The other examined the item, before blowing a soft gush of wind on it as the pods go flying.

The smaller couldn't help but smile.

Seungcheol looked at Jihoon looking at the flying pods. As sunsets and the grass looks orange and so does their skin, Jihoon's hair looked like honey, his smile glowed in Seungcheol's eyes and Seungcheol just took Jihoon's other hand.

"I really love Jihoonie." He said as the other looked at him.

"Do you even know what that means, Hyung?"

"Yes. I do. I'm older than you." He said as manly as he can.

Jihoon just looked at his hyung's beautiful round eyes. "But we're both boys."
"Can't boys love each other, though." Seungcheol smiled still holding Jihoon's tiny hand "because I surely love Jihoon."

///

The car stops and Seungcheol sees a familiar white house, weeds growing on the front and the fence's paint looked chipped. His fingers trace on the wooden fence, dust clung to his finger tips as he dragged it along.

He stops at the door, the house loomed over him and weeds poured on the front yard.

He opens the mail box.

He sees a single note; A note saying where the Lee family lives now.

He smiled as he scans over Jihoon's mother's fine handwriting.

///

Being 6th graders now was an achievement for the two, as they're still best of friends and they certainly still love each other.

"We can't be on different classes Jihoon, there's only 30 students in our level, there's only 1 class."

"Hyung, what if they divide it to 15:15" Jihoon said, walking lazily, his shoes crunching against the dry dirt by the fields.

"Even if they do that, Hyung will always find a way to you." Seungcheol assured slinging an arm on the other's shoulder.

"You're cheesy, but if you say so.." Jihoon hummed.

"Of course, I'll take care of my Jihoonie."

///

Seungcheol's seat bounced as the dirt road got a little bumpy, and the trees become taller. He looked at the note at hand before he sees a looming baby blue house, different plants spread across the admirable yard.

He comes closer to the fence, swinging it open then walking to the Maple door. He knocks three times before ringing the door bell, a secret knock Jihoon told him to use, so that they'll know it's him. He faintly hears steady footsteps before the door opened.

"Hello, Seungcheol."

"Hi, Mom." (A/N: Seungcheol calls Jihoon's parent's mom and dad.) Seungcheol smiled at the lady who resembles Jihoon so much. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, It's been quite a while." She smiled in agreement as she makes way so that Seungcheol could come in. He automatically sits on the lime green couch, he looks around only to notice that nothing has changed since that last time he visited the house.

"Here." Mrs.Lee served a cup of tea for Seungcheol, milk and sugar already added the way Seungcheol likes it. The young man thanked her, smiling.

///

"Smile!" The school's official photographer shouted as he snapped a picture of Jihoon and Seungcheol.

"I can't believe we're already graduating from high school." Jihoon smiled at Seungcheol, though it wasn't the same.

"Yeah me too. but what's the matter?" Seungcheol said as he find his hand instinctively reaching for the smaller's hand

"It's just." Jihoon sighed. "My mom's going to send me to the city to study."

Seungcheol sighed as he smiled. "Oh. Don't worry about that, I personally suggested that to your mom." He said  proudly. "In fact were actually going to the same university."

"What? Really?" He jumped up in joy wrapping both arms on Seungcheol's neck as the older caught his waist, spinning both of them around.

When Seungcheol placed Jihoon back down on his feet, he sees it again.

That dandelion smile of Jihoon.

The prettiest, and purest sight he's ever seen. He reaches for both Jihoon's cheek as he leans in, capturing those beautiful lips. Jihoon was so delicate and pretty, Seungcheol wasn't even surprised that Jihoon's lips were so soft.

///

"You didn't tell me you'll visit, I could've prepared something nicer than tea." Mrs.Lee said, sighing afterwards.

Seungcheol smiled at her. "I'll inform you next time i visit, then." He looked in her tired eyes. "How's dad?" (A/N: Seungcheol calls Jihoon's parent's mom and dad.)

"He's better, although he still has quite the temper, he's doing better than last time." Her expression then turned sad, almost sympathetic. "How are you, really, Seungcheol?"

There was a long pause before Seungcheol answered. He couldn't tell her he's okay, because he's not but he doesn't want to worry her. "I'll be better." was all that he could say. Jihoon's mom seemed to take it as her smile begins to reappear.

///

"This isn't working out so well." Jihoon grumbled.

"What is?" Seungcheol said, looking at Jihoon as he's sitting on the couch while Jihoon's standing beside him.

"This." Jihoon said showing Seungcheol a bowl of-Seungcheol doesn't even know what that is.

"What the hell is that?"

"I tried cooking eggs and I had this idea of adding green tea to but." Jihoon said pouting "It doesn't seem to taste the way I wanted it to taste."

Seungcheol looked at Jihoon, What kind of sane person combines eggs and tea?

"Okay, before you react, hear me out." Jihoon said placing thr bowl on Seungcheols hands as he takes a seat beside him on the couch. "I love eggs, right? And i also love tea. So, I thought that if I combine those two, it would be my favorite thing."

"But?" Seungcheol said.

"But it didn't work out." Jihoon said as Seungcheol broke into a fit of laughter.

Jihoon doesn't understand what's so funny but seeing the older laugh so heartily made him smile as well, and soon he's laughing with him, not even knowing why.

///

Seungcheol walks out the door, Mrs.Lee walking behind him.

"I'll try visiting again when work's not busy." Seungcheol said

"Yeah, please do. It gets so lonely around here." She smiled, keeping a positive vibe.

"I'll see you soon." Seungcheol said waving a hand as he goes out the fence door. "Take care."

"You too."

 

Seungcheol kept driving with no expression on his face. His heart getting heavier the farther he drove on the dirt road. He slows down when he reached the small village, pulling up by the arch that says 'WELCOME'. He steps out the vehicle.

Almost everyone recognizes, from the baker, the tailor, even the sheriff. He comes in the small shop, bell ringing as he did.

"Hello, welcome to Kim's flower shop." A deep voice said, not looking away from the bouquet he's designing.

"Hey, Wonwoo." He greeted.

The said boy snapped up his head as he heard the familiar voice. "Hyung."

"Hey. Get me the usual, will you?" Seungcheol requested and soon Wonwoo's preparing the prettiest bunch.  The center was a beautiful Sunflower, then amaranth, feverfew, minoan lace, and lastly baby's breath. It was a mixture of green, yellow and white.

"Here." Wonwoo smiled, "You don't have to pay."

"Thanks." Seungcheol smiled, taking the pretty flowers.

///

Jihoon sat on the grass by the park, he looks around the city. It was like another world compared to the country side. The size of the tallest building in the country side was the size of the smallest building in the city, that's how different it was. He felt so small. Thankfully, Seungcheol's with him. They rented a small apartment in Ilsan, not far from their University. They're almost living in the city for a year now, but to Jihoon everything still seemed so new.

A boy sat beside him on the grass, taking hold of his hand.

"You're late again." Jihoon said

"Sorry, I got hold up by the other students."

"Why?"

"Those girls wanted to date me." Seungcheol said as if annoyed. "I told them I'm a flaming homo so don't worry."

Jihoon looked at Seungcheol in shock. "Did you really tell them that?"

"Nah, I just told them I'm gay and taken." Seungcheol said laughing a little, his dimple visible.

The smaller looked at the other's eyes. This boy really does what his heart tells him. "What if they don't accept gays?"

"Then I don't need then in my life, simple." Seungcheol shrugged. "I only need you anyway."

Jihoon scrunched his face. "Too cheesy." He said although he would be lying if he were to say that the butterflies didn't appear. Seungcheol was too sweet for Jihoon's good.

"I'll always be cheesy for you." Seungcheol said, landing a sweet kiss on Jihoon's soft cheek.

///

Again, back on his car, Seungcheol took a turn to the right, where the dirt road becomes rocky and cemented. He passes the gate and the trees.

///

"It's raining so hard. Be careful." Seungcheol said against the phone. He's standing by the window, waiting for a cab to pull up in front of their shared apartment. Jihoon's stuck in the University. It's past sun set and the sky's all dark.

"I'll be careful, look, I already have a cab." Jihoon replies.

"Okay, okay. I'll see you soon." Seungcheol sigh. He can't help worrying about Jihoon.

Seungcheol tapped his feet on the wooden floor. It's been 30 minutes since Jihoon got on the cab, and it only takes roughly 15 minutes to get home from the University. He feels his heart beat growing faster at the tick of a clock.

About 5 minutes later, he hears his phone ring, Jihoon's ID on the screen.

"Jihoon, what's taking you so long." He grumbled.

"Hello? Choi Seungcheol?"

"Uh. Yeah? Who's this? Where's Jihoon?"

"This is the police, please come to Seoul Songdo Hospital, I'm afraid to inform you that there was an accident."

"What?" Seungcheol said, dropping his phone, knees going weak as his body reacted, he rushes to the said hospital, not bothering to grab a coat an umbrella or anything. He ran to get a cab as the raindrops seem to grow bigger.

'No, no no no no no.' was all that's rushing in Seungcheol's mind.

"I told you to be careful." He whispered.

///

As the trees grow taller and the sky becomes a painting of pink,orange,blue and purple Seungcheol stops the car. He steps out, carrying the bouquet of flowers, his heart falling as he takes another step. His breath gets caught in his throat and his hand sweats.

"Jihoon." He whispered in front of the tombstone, voice cracking as his tears become heavier. "I'm sorry I couldn't come often."

He stays standing still holding the neatly arranged flowers. 'I can't talk right now, Jihoon. If I do, I'll really cry.' Seungcheol thought He sat on the grass in front of the stone.

"I got these for you." He says placing it down. The flowers were really beautiful to Seungcheol, just like Jihoon. So delicate and pretty. 'Jihoon, if you were alive. I'd give you flowers whenever you wanted. Even if it's midnight I'll search the world for flowers if you want me to.' He thought.

"Jihoon, why didn't you take care? Why did you leave me too soon?" He whispered broken. His tears finally falling and his cheeks getting a little bit red. "Didn't I tell you to take care? Did you thought I was joking?" He nagged on, "I'm hurting so much, Jihoon, and I can't even be mad at you or leave you or yell at you."

"Please, please make me stop hurting." He said, not even knowing how Jihoon's going to stop that. It was too much, too sudden. Even after three years, it was still new. Summer days were cold and Winter days were even colder without Jihoon. It became so cold when Jihoon left, was it supposed to be like that? When a loved one just leaves without even as small as a simple "Goodbye, I'm afraid I won't be back."

///

He rushes to the hospital, hand slamming on the doorways, the police texted him the room and all he could do is get there.

His hand was shaking and his head was spinning. He gets to the room, only to be blocked off by a couple of nurses saying 'I'm sorry, you can't be here' 'please wait outside'

He steps back, not having any more strength when he sees the frail body laying in the operating table, blood all over his body and nurses seeming to be hopeless. It was hopeless.  

He sat on the cold chair head laying against the suffocating mint green wall. The doctor went out the room, along with a few nurses that went somewhere, carrying a clipboard.

"I assume you're Mr.Choi." the doctor said. It was one of the hardest things in the world, telling a patient's relative or loved one that they didn't make it. "I'm really sorry. This may sound like hollow words to you but please trust me when I tell you that we did everything." The doctor said as Seungcheol looked in his eyes. He could see the sorrow on the boy's eyes, on how he had given up the moment he stepped out the room. Seungcheol had beads of sweat on his forehead and his cheeks and nose were all red and he looked tired and unsettled and everything that you shouldn't see a boy at such a young age looking like.

"Lee Jihoon, he's a strong kid, I could tell that he's a fighter, but-" The doctor stopped weighing his words. "-he lost too much blood."

Seungcheol cried, standing up. "Thank you so much, for doing what you can to save Jihoon." He whispered "Can I see him?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Seungcheol sighed. He just wanted to see Jihoon.

He steps inside the room, Jihoon was no longer covered in blood though his skin looked white under the light. White and lifeless. Seungcheol reaches for the hand, it was cold but there was still a bit of warmth in it.

"Jihoon."

///

Seungcheol kept crying until his throat became dry. His heart ached so much.

"I'm sorry, for crying in front of you Jihoon." He said wiping his tears "I'm just so lonely without you." He said. "but I'll be fine." He continued, reassuring Jihoon. "Mom's (Jihoon's mom) doing good. Her smile seems a little bit more bright. I'm glad I came to see her today." He sighed "I'm miss you too much."

After a while he stood up looking up at the sky.

He stood there looking down at Seungcheol. Oh, how he wished to tell him he's there, how he could hear him, how he wants to wipe Seungcheols tears. He wanted to hug the older, to give him love and assure him that he's still with him, that he's sorry, he doesn't want to leave him like that, that he loves him still, that he wants him to smile, that its okay to cry. That he's so so sorry he couldn't take care. But no matter how much he scream how much he calls out to Seungcheol, he wouldn't heard him, even if he ran to Seungcheol now and hug him, he'd simply go through Seungcheol.

Every time Seungcheol visited him, the older would would him, he would then, cry and then he'd apologize and assure him everything's doing fine then he'd wipe his tears and tell him he still loves Jihoon and then go away. He'd bring different kinds of flowers every time from the Kim's flower shop.  

"If I could tell you I'm here, I would, Cheol." He said in a sad tone.

Seungcheol then snaps his head to Jihoon's direction. "Jihoon?" He says. He could swear he heard 'Cheol.' or was it just his brain playing tricks on him. It suddenly felt warm, he hadn't felt this warmth for a long time. "Are you there?"

"Yes!" Jihoon shouted, in hopes that he'll reach Seungcheol.

"If you are, thank you, I love you. I'll come back soon." Seungcheol said quietly this time, but Jihoon heard it this time.

Jihoon could only smile, He finally reached Seungcheol, even just a little, He reached him.

He watches as Seungcheol went back to his car a little slumped-shouldered compared to before, his head down, looking at his feet as he walked.

Jihoon kept watching as the car looks smaller the farther it went. As it passed the gates and as it disappear. He sighs he shouldn't be like this; Seungcheol's going to visit him next year anyway, or on his birthday, or on Seungcheol's birthday. He wanted to go to where he and Seungcheol used to live, but that would be painful. Too painful.

He wanted to visit his mother and father. He wanted to give his friends a visit. He wanted to see how Seungcheol's living now.

He'll visit everyone now if his heart could take it, but it can't; Instead he waits.

Waits for someone, anyone to visit him.

He'll wait for the seasons to pass by him, he'll watch the world change it's color until Seungcheol comes back. 

 

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I hope you liked it!! I've had this idea for a while now bc sunrises dandelions and warmth remind me of Lee Jihoon.

comment what you think down bellow!!!

comments & upvotes are very appreciated

 

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