It was only late in the evening that Mir finally finished his last schedule before his enlistment. He run his hand over his now army cut hair. He really didn't like this kind of hair style. Clicking his tongue, he fastened his favorite cap on his head, pulling it a bit lower to cover his eyes and casted shadow half down his face to keep his identity away from the prying eyes.

            His phone screamed when a call came in. At first, he thought it was Seungho since he realized he was kind of late for their promised meeting at the company but then frowned when he realized it was an unknown number yet already familiar to him. Ever since he had announced in his fan-cafe that he was going to army, this same number kept on calling him at the same time every night. But Mir wasn't one to pick up a call from unknown number. Experience taught him not to. It might be some weird stalker waiting to threaten him and said some weird scary stuff through the gadget. If it was someone he knew, they would have left a text message, introducing themselves before calling Mir directly.

            Shrugging, Mir simply turned off his mobile, his eyes wandering around the room for his hyungs. A smile immediately brightening his face when he saw Seungho was sitting at the couch, reading some magazine while casually humming once in a while to GO who was standing next to him, talking about something. None of the two realized Mir was already in the room, not when Seungho's view was blocked by GO and GO had his back on Mir.

            Mir inhaled deeply. Sense of nostalgia filled his chest. It was warm but hurt at the same time as he watched the two older men. It had been so long. It had been really long. With GO in the army, Seungho with his own schedule and Mir with his own... They just didn't really have a chance to meet each other. And sometimes, Mir was jealous when he got to know Seungho went to meet up with GO. He wanted to join the meeting too. But, he just got a chance finally. Well, at least he got to meet these two before going off to army.

            When Seungho first texted him saying GO is in his break and want to meet up, Mir worried that it would be awkward for them since it had been really long. Mir spent a sleepless night trying to gather what kind of topic he could speak with his two hyungs, what kind of things he should bring or what kind of clothes he should wear.

            It almost felt like he was a girl about to go on her first date and Mir ended up laughing at himself mentally. Why should he worry about these kinds of things anyway. If it was with those two, the two men that he had spent years knowing them, there was no way it would be awkward between them. There was just no way. This long precious friendship between them would naturally let things fall at their own place. It was stupid to worry so freaking much.

            Mir smiled to himself as he took a step closer to those two who still hadn't realized his presence. Mir bit his lips. A strange mix of feelings overwhelmed him. And even though he was happy, he was also sad. Even though these two were already in front of his eyes, why did he felt a strong longing that clenching tight on his chest and without even he, himself realizing, he was already on the verge of tears. Oh yea... Maybe because he was leaving?

            Mir tried to calm his erratically beating heart. Why was he being so emotional? Shaking his head harshly, he forced himself to smile brightly and jumped on unsuspecting GO's back. GO squeaked like a mouse and fall face first onto Seungho who was sitting on the couch with Mir still hanging on his back like a monkey.

            Mir bowed politely with a sheepish grin even though the position the three of them were in right now was kind of funny with GO still lying on his stomach, across Seungho's laps and Mir straddling GO's back. "Anyeonghasaeyo, hyungnim!" Mir greeted cheerfully.

            "Yah! Do that after you get off of me!" GO scolded, trying to push himself up but when he heard Mir's yelp and felt the younger sliding off from him, he lowered himself back down, worried the maknae might fall and injured himself. Only after he felt Mir's weight being lifted off, then he stood back up, straightening his clothes. He turned towards Mir and pinched on Mir's cheeks. "You are late again!"

            "Sowy hwung. I was whuz fiwizhed."

            "What?" GO released Mir's cheeks and the boy flopped down next to Seungho whom like always, just watched as his group members playing with each other with gentle smile and adoring eyes.

            "I just finished. Looooong schedule." Mir exaggerated.

            GO rolled his eyes and went off to take out the food he had bought on the way here, putting them on the table in front of the couch. "Have you eaten then?" He asked, eyes on Mir.

            Mir shook his head no, watching GO's every moves before letting a small subtle sigh. Seungho who was sitting just next to maknae, turned his head slightly at that sound, raising his brow at the sad small smile displayed on Mir's lips. He was about to open his mouth to ask when Mir flopped against his side and the younger leaned his head against Seungho's shoulder, snuggling close to the leader.

            "I missed you guys." He barely whispered.

            GO stopped his work and looked up at Mir. He pulled himself up and went to sit on Mir's other side. "We missed you too." He said gently, patting Mir's cap covered head.

            "I missed us." Mir continued.

            Seungho sighed, rounding one hand around Mir, pulling the maknae into a half hug. "What cause this?" He asked.

            Even when the question was kind of vague, for both Mir and GO, it was as clear as the day. Or maybe because they understood each other that much to the point that only several words would have made them knew what the other wanted to convey. "Time?" GO answered hesitantly, leaning his back on the couch with heavy sigh. He let his head fall backward and his eyes caught a frame filled with MBLAQ CDs throughout their career.

            "Are we giving up then?" Seungho asked again, looking down at Mir expectedly.

            "No... We're just growing up." Mir said. "And still growing."

            GO nodded. "Yea... We're just growing up."

            "Will it changes us?"

            Surely, Seungho was acting weird again but then again, all three of them were acting weird. "Who knows..." GO breathed out, eyes still trained on the CDs frame.

            "I want to change." Mir announced, looking determined. "I want to be better. To be stronger."

            Seungho flashed a proud smile at his maknae. "Really, maknae?"

            "Yup!" Mir nodded confidently with determined eyes.

            "I wonder..." GO said, eyes had distant look in them. "If we will still exist after the changes..."

            "Do you want we to?" Seungho kept on asking, this time looking expectantly at GO.

            GO shrugged. "Will..." GO swallowed, painful grimace on his usually unfazed face. "Will MBLAQ still exist after this?"

            They had been talking about this. Thinking and talking. Discussing on where they would go in the future, what path would they take, though mostly it was just Seungho and GO talking about this while Mir, strange or not, took a rather quiet side, just listening in to the discussion as bystander, not even nodding or even shaking his head to show which side he was standing on. Maybe because he was still indecisive. And later, Mir announced that he wanted to enlist and that they should decide after Mir and GO were released from the army whether they still wanted to stay as a group or not.

            "Do you want it too?"

            GO frowned, glaring at his same age friend. "Stop asking me. I don't know."

            "I don't know either." Mir muttered. "Maybe we'll find the answer when we have grown enough." Mir cheekily said. "And until then, I want to treasure the moment. Whatever decision we will come to, I think, maybe when the time comes, I'll be strong enough to face it."

            Seungho Mir's chin, one habit of him because sometimes Mir was just that irresistiblely cute. "I think, you've grown enough."

            "Nah... The me right now is still selfish." Mir said. "Because I don't want to let go of what I have right now." He continued. "If I stay this way, I'm afraid I'll chain you guys up by my side. I don't want to be selfish."

            "Maybe we don't mind being chained up." GO piped in.

            Mir shook his head. "Aniyo. I want each of us to have time and think about this slowly. We have so much more in the future. I don't want to be a hurdle."

            "You're being too harsh on yourself." Seungho reminded. "We all love MBLAQ, Mir. It's not just you."

            Mir rolled his eyes with a teasing smile. "Of course I know that, hyung." Mir pulled down his cap to cover his eyes. "And you can still love something even when it doesn't exist anymore."

            "Maybe. But, it is hard to let go something we love dearly."

            "Time... We just need time." Mir patted GO's hand. "Time to grow..."

            "I don't think I want to grow up." GO sighed, turning his palm upward to catch Mir's hand into a grip. "As we grow up, we just lose a lot more."

            "But we also gain a lot more." Mir retorted.

            "Ugh! I just- I don't know anymore."

            "Because we haven't grown enough. That's why we still don't know what to do." Mir said melancholy tone dripping in his voice. "Even I don't know which would be of us... What I want us to be... I wish..." He trailed off and ended sighing again. GO was right. It was really hard... And they were just still a child...

            "Let's meet here again after we have grown up." Seungho piped up with a wide smile, trying to cheer up the others. "And by that time, we will know what to do. However, whatever final decision we came to, just know that this friendship will never end. It's will grow stronger just like we will. Arasso?"

            Mir and GO exchanged a glance before grinning to Seungho, answering harmoniously, "Yes, leader-nim!"

            I don't want to let go...

_that last sentence is for reader to decide who was the one thinking that. Seungho or GO or Mir or better, all three of them_

*ps : I imagined the unanswered phone call actually came from one of the ex-member after they heard news on Mir's enlistment but have no courage to actually talk to Mir. Hehe. My wild imagination...