“How are you, my baby love?” I have always asked myself this question since we parted. Everyone assumed I was writing about my lost love with her in the MADE album. But, my members knew who I missed most for the past few years.

It is you, Baby Love. Only your crescent eye smile, unique giggling sound sets me on fire. And till today, I am still missing you. If only … it is the most regrettable thing that I have done and if I can turn back the clock, I will not hurt you.

Will we still be happy together if I have not left you?

Will you be accompanying me on all my overseas activities if I have not cheated on you?

Will you still be in my arms now, filling my empty room with your laughter and cute snoring sound if I have not given in to temptations?

 If only …

There are so many things I want to do with you. My heart aches when I think about the future we have discussed at the rooftop when we were escaping from our work stress. They were such happy memories.

“I’m sorry.” I never have the courage to ask for your forgiveness. I am afraid to cause you further pain if we will to rekindle our friendship like before we were dating. I can still feel your care and concern towards me. You were the first person to show concern when I tripped during the YG Family concert. You were also the first person to message me when I was exhausted on stage during the MADE Seoul concert. I am puzzled how you knew about this when you were not present at the concert. But, behind all your love, I can see the hurt in your beautiful big dolly eyes.

“I’m sorry, Bommie Love.” I was not beside you when your silly drug scandal broke. I was angry with the haters directed at you and everyone pointed their fingers at you for breaking up the group. But, you have proven what a tough cookie you are. You kept low, perfecting your skills, ignoring everyone. “Are you alright?” I wished I was there comforting you so that you do not have to erect the brave front for all of us. Come into my arms and cry, Baby Love.

If only …

All my friends have asked if I am alright after the break-up with her. They sensed my unhappiness even though I have buried myself with work and party like crazy. If only they knew the real person I was missing in my heart. I laughed as speculations built up I was dating another Japanese model. Even Omma asked why I cannot date a Korean girl.

If only …

Bommie Love, if I ask, will you give me another chance again?