Title: Nineteen (19)

Pairing: KaiSoo

Rating: nc-17

Length:  4181 Words (1/1)

Genres: Romance, fluff, slice of life

Summary: Nineteen is not a magic number. But many things happened at nineteen. Because Jong In was nineteen when he met Do Kyung Soo. Jong In was nineteen when he fell in love with Do Kyung Soo.

Warning: Un-beta

Note: I was heavily inspired by the anime Doukyuusei when I wrote this.

 

===

 

Let’s wind up the clock’s needle

Towards the third unforeseen autumn

Let’s shrink ourselves and walk on

The distance between the both

Becomes a few centimetres more special

 

Hey, now jump up

Towards the bridge of continuously blessed seasons

The things thought, no matter where we go

It means we look up

Blown by the wind, always hoping

Forever and ever

 

[同級生 - Doukyuusei]

 

===

 

Kim Jong In was nineteen that year.

 

Nineteen.

 

Nineteen was no magical number by any means. There was no significant event that was marked with that number for all he knew. If it was the 19^th century then, maybe. There were plentiful of things that happened back then, no? Reformation of women’s right, the wars, inventions of things. Maybe nineteen was a good number –no. Nineteen was probably a good number, if he looked on from that point of view.  19^th century that was.

 

Kim Jong In was an airheaded person.

 

He knew that as much because Baek Hyun had told him so from time to time.

 

He said that Jong In can’t hold his thought or interest on a particular subject for long.

 

He was right, of course.

 

Baek Hyun had always been right.

 

Just like the spicy dukbokki near the train station –he said they were good. Jong In didn’t like spicy food. He can’t handle spicy food. Not as bad as Chan Yeol, though, but he hated them. But the dukbokki was good when he had them. Sweet things though. Jong In loved sweet things. He had the Papa Beard’s cream puff Baek Hyun told him about the other day. It was good. They were really good, in fact, he had bought fifteen of them just two days ago and skipped dinner because he was too full with eating them all.

 

Nineteen.

 

Jong In was nineteen that year.

 

And Jong In was in love.

 

Love though.

 

Love was a complicated little thing.

 

It made his head and stomach ache that he thought he can die right away at the single thought.

 

Because many things tended to happen when love happened.

 

Like the ground just sort of disappear, his brain melted into a puddle of vomit. Then his chest. They hurt really, really bad, Jong In didn’t like it.

 

Jong In didn’t like many things.

 

Jong In didn’t like Chan Yeol.

 

Chan Yeol was loud.

 

Jong In was quiet.

 

But Baek Hyun liked having Chan Yeol around and because Jong In didn’t have that many friends to begin with, he’d end up having Chan Yeol around many times in a day because the taller man won’t leave Baek Hyun’s side. Their closeness aroused suspicion from him, because Baek Hyun always came into Jong In’s apartment back when they were still in high school with messy hair and flushed cheeks, and the sight was infuriating, because Jong In didn’t like messy things.

 

Messy.

 

It was ironic how Baek Hyun told him that Jong In dressed messily. Nonchalant. Because he liked low cutting tee with shirt ed over it and lazy peg trouser or ripped skinny jeans. White Vans shoes. He hated socks. Chan Yeol had many socks. 

 

Jong In used to live with his single mother who was never home most of the time.

 

His mother was a kind and soft spoken woman who liked spoiling Jong In rotten with comics and games and good foods. She worked as an accountant at the iron factory forty minutes away, and at night, she liked going out with her colleagues from work. She was a very beautiful woman and she was still young. She had Jong In when she was sixteen.

 

Sixteen.

 

Sixteen was a good number though.

 

Jong In had graduated high school by scoring the number sixteen spot at his school for his year. Baek Hyun was number one in the previous year, while Chan Yeol was number four.

 

Jong In’s mother was pretty.

 

She was fair.

 

Jong In was dark.

 

Baek Hyun was fair though and seemed to be in a bright mood all the time.

 

Jong In seemed to be perpetually moody to the eyes of the society because of his lazy eyes and quiet self. Introvert. Jong In was not an introvert, he was not shy, he was used to standing out because of his brooding face, but he was still awkward with people because he was not good with words.

 

Chan Yeol was an extrovert.

 

He was loud, his eyes were bright and they twinkled.

 

Nineteen.

 

Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol were nineteen last year.

 

Jong In met Kyung Soo when he turned nineteen that year.

 

===

 

In the hindsight of everything, the story started with Do Kyung Soo.

 

Kyung Soo.

 

Twenty year old Do Kyung Soo.

 

But Kim Jong In.

 

He was nineteen.

 

Nineteen.

 

Jong In lived in a small town. He rode his bicycle daily to class with Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol because their 5-storey flat was close to their university. A mere thirty minutes ride away. Jong In lived with Baek Hyun, Chan Yeol and a senior called Min Seok. All four of them were accounting major for various reasons. Jong In was an accounting major because number makes sense and he didn’t need to talk. Numbers. Numbers represent things. Numbers were a form of communication without the need of a speech.

 

Jong In liked that.

 

Jong In wished he live in a world where speeches weren’t needed, because he was so bad at talking.

 

Baek Hyun was good at talking.

 

Chan Yeol wore glasses that year, and Baek Hyun told him that he wondered if glasses will get in the way in kisses.

 

Sixteen.

 

Jong In was sixteen when he had his first kiss. With a noona from cram school. Jong In was sixteen too when he had his first . They didn’t talk. She only wanted to have a good time and Jong In was not good at talking. She was very pretty, and Jong In didn’t deny her that because she made his heart beat fast when she unstrap her bra.

 

Kyung Soo.

 

Do Kyung Soo.

 

Kyung Soo was a classmate of Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol.

 

He had small shoulders and wide eyes. He scared Jong In. He always had that owlish stare when he stares at people, and Jong In felt when he looked at him. He was always around their place because both Chan Yeol and Baek Hyun liked pulling pranks on him and he liked beating the two of them for always messing around and not doing anything for their assignment.

 

Kyung Soo didn’t like talking.

 

Jong In didn’t like talking.

 

But Jong In was awkward.

 

And Kyung Soo was not awkward.

 

Kyung Soo was both Chan Yeol’s and Baek Hyun’s classmate and they knew him back in their first year. He heard of the man’s name plentiful of time before, but he never met him in person. Jong In never followed them for dinners or lunches before, but only recently that he got involved with them. Chan Yeol said that Kyung Soo’s father owned several factories in the region as their family was in construction business.

 

Kyung Soo had a car.

 

Jong In had a bicycle.

 

Kyung Soo had a father, a mother and a brother.

 

Jong In only had a mother and he was a single child.     

 

There were many things that Kyung Soo was that Jong In wasn’t. Jong In exceled in his study while Kyung Soo just barely passed them. Jong In worked part time at a coffee shop near to their campus while Kyung Soo was a regular customer there. Jong In never got on a plane while Kyung Soo travelled to overseas for holidays every term break with his parents and brother. Jong In only own a white shirt, black slack and red tie for a formal wear while Kyung Soo had dozens of suit and tuxes for expensive dinners and weddings with his family.

 

In a perfect world, they might make a compatible partner because of their differences. A perfect match. Black and white. 

 

Kyung Soo’s eyes were inferno while Jong In’s skin was cool.

 

He knew this because he saw Kyung Soo every day. He sat with the elder with both Chan Yeol and Baek Hyun daily for dinner. He sat with the elder when they went to the beach that first time they met. They didn’t talk, just sat side by side in their silence because neither was good with words. They sat side by side when Kyung Soo brought him sweets and chocolates every other week. They sat side by side when Chan Yeol and Baek Hyun locked themselves up in their room with loud blaring house beats played in a pitiful attempt to conceal the creaking sound of the bed and clanking headboard.

 

Min Seok owned the flat. The flat was equipped with four rooms, but only two were available for renting so Jong In was stuck by himself all the time. No one mention anything about the extra room that was filled with shelves full of bottles and packed green leaves. Occasionally, strange men will come to their house to either drop strange things or leave with stranger things provided by Min Seok. It was a strange set up, but Jong In was quiet, he didn’t like talking, and Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol were too occupied with each other to actually care.

 

Things were fine.

 

Jong In was content.

 

Because Kyung Soo was quiet. When he talked to everyone else, it was always anger. But when he looked at Jong In, his eyes were fire, but when he talked, it was with little words and smile.

 

===

 

It was spring when things started to change.

 

Kyung Soo leaned on a wall next to the entrance door when he waited outside of the coffee shop Jong In worked at one night when the younger was done closing up. The man didn’t say anything at first and Jong In was quiet when he saw him. It was raining, it was 11pm, Kyung Soo’s shoes were wet and there was a red umbrella next to him.

 

“It’s raining.” Kyung Soo had simply told him before he raised the umbrella.

 

Kyung Soo walked him back that night because it was impossible for him to ride his bike with the weather. Both of their shoes were wet when they got to Jong In’s flat and the elder didn’t say anything when he passed a bag of Royce chocolate biscuits to him before he just walked off.

 

Kyung Soo waited for Jong In the next night after he was done with shift with a plastic bag of fruit tarts. The night sky was clear, there was an abundant of stars and Kyung Soo waved at him with a straight face before walking away from the coffee shop after that.

 

Kyung Soo waited for Jong In every night after that. They didn’t talk. The elder always left him after giving him sweets and treats before walking away from the shop and finally, after two weeks of the same routine, Jong In did something else.

 

He simply ask –

 

“Want to walk with me?”

 

The silence that stretched between them was nothing strange or new. He was used to this. They did this often enough that Jong In was so used to consider this as a comfort point. The world passed them by in a colourful buzz. Dark night sky, orange street lamps, receding amount of cars and people. It was a small town after all, lives and people were closing in just like the shops and everything else.

 

But something strange happen after that.

 

It was when Kyung Soo smiled at him that something started to stir in Jong In’s chest.

 

===

 

Leafs.

 

Flowers.

 

Fragrance.

 

Pink.

 

Blue.

 

There were a lot of things that surrounded him when he cycled to the coffee shop for his shift that afternoon. Classes were uneventful and Baek Hyun had invited him to a movie in which he rejected, because Chan Yeol will be there, and the two of them in a dark confined space always made Jong In uncomfortable. The sky was blue that afternoon. Light in colour. Pink petals blown everywhere. It was a nice feeling. The zing gear sound his bicycle made when he allowed himself down the slope was filling his head, and Jong In heave out a sigh when the wind ruffle his hair.

 

Hair.

 

Chan Yeol had silver hair. He bleached them two months ago and Jong In was jealous of them because it reminded him of Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII. Baek Hyun suggested for him to bleach his hair the same colour too, but Jong In didn’t like Chan Yeol, so the idea left a sour taste in his mouth.

 

When Kyung Soo walked with him that night, their arms grazed with one another until the elder just pressed close to him like that. Jong In pushing his bike, while Kyung Soo walking next to him. It was nice. Everything smelled good from the row of blossoms lining the whole street. Black and pink.

 

Five nights after Jong In first invited Kyung Soo to walk with him, finally, the short man pinch the hem of Jong In’s shirt when they walk together.

 

===

 

Small things.

 

It was all small things when there was Kyung Soo involved.

 

Hair.

 

Jong In finally bleached his hair one week after Kyung Soo started holding the hem of his shirt during their nightly walk. Pink. He did that mostly because he knew Chan Yeol hated that colour with all his heart, and Kyung Soo’s owlish eyes never left him the first time the elder saw his new hair. Messy pompadour with his bang swept sideways. His piercings can be seen now.

 

It was at the traffic light when they were waiting for the light to turn colour so they can cross the road that Kyung Soo touched his hair for the first time.

 

“Cotton candy.” Kyung Soo said.

 

“Delicious.” Jong In told him.

 

Something sparked in the elder’s eyes, and their gaze met. Everything smelled good. The blossoms, Kyung Soo’s cologne, the night itself. It looked kind of blue. Night. He always imagined them to be blue despite the warm orange street light. The road was empty. There was no one there. Pink cherry blossoms everywhere, and everything was blue. It was 11.19pm. Maybe. Jong In liked the idea of it. For time to stand still right to the minute. 11.19pm.

 

It was then that Kyung Soo told him.

 

“You’re pretty.”

 

He knew that it wasn’t his imagination when he felt something burned in his chest. Jong In had lazy eyes, people always think that he took everything so lightly in this world, but he never did. Everything was pure calculation, because Jong In was awkward, he was bad with words. He only knew the truth, he can only speak the truth.

 

So he told Kyung Soo this, and he really meant it.

 

“You’re pretty too.”

 

Kyung Soo was still holding the hem of his shirt when they walked to his place that night.

 

===

 

Pretty.

 

Kyung Soo was a pretty thing.

 

He had a perfect shape of rounded eyes and thick lips. His voice was pleasant to the ears. Husky and musical. His skin was fair. His fingers were stubby, not thin like Baek Hyun’s. And then his stares. His stares. They made Jong In’s skin prickled with goose bumps. His touches. They made Jong In’s skin crawled with heat. His smiles. They knocked Jong In’s breath out of his lung.

 

Kyung Soo was not a man of fashion. Always in black. Black eyes, black hair, black polo tee, black skinny jeans, black shoes and black wallet.

 

Kyung Soo stared back when he was stared at.

 

It was good that both of them were unyielding when being stared at. It was good that both of them were so used to standing out. It was good that Kyung Soo allowed Jong In to stare.

 

“Why do you guys keep staring at each other?” Baek Hyun asked one evening when they were having their dinner. BBQ. Chan Yeol’s favourite.

 

Jong In didn’t answer him, his gaze stopped at the other man, though, but he was quiet before his eyes flicker back to Kyung Soo.

 

Pretty.

 

Kyung Soo was a pretty thing.

 

===

 

Spring.

 

It was spring and the road was filled with fallen blossoms.

 

It had been four weeks since Kyung Soo started walking him back home.

 

The road was bare, there were no people. There were no cars. Blue. Everything was blue except for the pink cherry blossoms. Soft wind was roughing up Jong In’s already messy hair and the floral fragrance the wind blew at them was tantalising him with calmness. It was 11pm. It was 11.19pm if he was précised enough.

 

They lived in small town.

 

There was no one there.

 

It was when they stood at the traffic light to wait for the light to change colour that Kyung Soo stood nearer to him and pressed his lips against Jong In’s.

 

A kiss.

 

It was brief, a simple suction of lips and Kyung Soo pulled away before he can respond.

 

He didn’t feel anything. Empty. Blank. It was when Kyung Soo waved him goodbye and Jong In got under the cover of his blanket in his room that the spell broke loose. He touched his lips with trembling fingers. His eyes were wide, his face burned and the pain, his chest, it was so painful, he thought he can vomit just about anything out.

 

Beat.

 

Beat.

 

Beat.

 

His heart was going into an overdrive and he felt lightheaded, giddy, as if he lost litres of blood. He smiled. He didn’t know why, but he did.

 

===

 

Summer.

 

Jong In didn’t work that night because the coffee shop closed down for some repair work. One week off. Jong In can’t complain. Jong In will not complain.

 

Baek Hyun was locked with Chan Yeol in their shared room again with loud music. Min Seok was out with backpack full of things that will make plentiful of money. Jong In was t his toenails outside at their balcony when his phone vibrated in his black skinny jeans. He took out the device and saw Kyung Soo’s number calling him.

 

“Lo?” He answered.

 

“Where are you?”

 

 “Balcony. Cutting nails.”

 

“I’m outside. Open up.”

 

Jong In looked down to the mess of trimmed nails scattered about on the tiled floor and his pants. He grimaced at the idea of having to clean them up in a rush. Jong In hated rushing. He hated cleaning things up in a haste.

 

“I’m too lazy to do that.” He said.

 

“No problem.” Kyung Soo simply told him. “I’ll just break the door then.”

 

There were many things he can say to that. Because he knew Kyung Soo had broken the door before when Baek Hyun locked him out with his phone and laptop still inside. He knew Kyung Soo was not all about words. He was a man of action.

 

“Don’t be stupid.” Jong In sighed. “Keys under the mat.”

 

The balcony he sat at was nothing impressive. It resembled a cage, squared iron railing caging the whole space literally from top to bottom only allowed winds to blow in, but disabling people from climbing out. He wondered if it was the management’s attempt to curb down suicide attempts. He wondered how many people had jumped off.

 

Kyung Soo’s face emerged few moments after that and he was silent as he settled next to Jong In.

 

His heart might as well leap out from his chest when the shorter man pushed himself closer. Breaching into his personal space. His fingers were warm when they touched his chin, and Jong In’s back was pressed to the iron railing. The lips that pressed against his were warm, the fingers touching his skin were warm, the breathing tickling his face was warm, the eyes that were drinking him up were warm.

 

Fire.

 

Inferno.

 

Jong In’s fingers curled around the railing, his breathing hitched. Kyung Soo pulled away after a while and seated back next to him obediently.

 

Beat.

 

Beat.

 

Beat.

 

His heart was still beating crazily and his face was warm.

 

They sat there together side by side for a long time. Jong In didn’t know how long they sat like that, arm pressed against another arm, thighs to thighs. It was calming. Kyung Soo was calming. Quiet. Jong In liked it. His fingers itched.

 

Both of their palms were pressed to the tiles, sandwiched between their thighs. 

 

Jong In pushed his hand further and grabbed the other man’s.

 

===

 

Kyung Soo wore white short sleeved shirt tucked into black skinny jeans when he picked Jong In up that night. Spring had warm up into summer. All of the pink had already bled into green. But everything was still blue. Kyung Soo was black. His hair was, at least. Bang parted sideways. Hair fluffy. Skin pale and fair. Lips red.

 

They were standing at the traffic light.

 

Kyung Soo’s lips were hot and soft when Jong In kissed him that night.

 

It was fulfilling. It made his chest overflow with things he can’t explain.

 

They kiss again the next night. Then the next one. And then the next one too.

 

Summer was fading into fall now.

 

They kissed every night.

 

They kissed every day when no one was there to bear witness. They weren’t ashamed of what they had. Kyung Soo was fire. Burning him down into ashes and Jong In was a phoenix. Maybe. So dramatic. Resurrected. Over and over again despite the numbers of time he was burned. He couldn’t get enough. He wanted more. Kyung Soo always left him wanting for more and more and more. It was scary. Jong In was never this greedy, this emotional. This needy.

 

Kyung Soo spoilt him rotten.

 

Kyung Soo offered him the world in his small palms.

 

Only for Jong In.

 

Only Jong In.

 

It was fall.

 

It was fall.

 

Jong In was nineteen.

 

Jong In was nineteen and Kyung Soo was twenty when Chan Yeol gave them a strange look across the table. They were at the BBQ place Chan Yeol loved so much. It was then that the tall man asked. Lips pursed and eyes confused.

 

“Why are you guys being so strange lately?”

 

“How strange?” Jong In asked. Sometimes, it was hard to speak any more these days. He rarely did so with Kyung Soo with him. They didn’t need words. Kyung Soo was a man of action. He knew this, recognise this, used to this. Conversations now seemed mundane at this point.

 

“Like, you guys have this, I don’t know, strange thing, like, I can’t explain.” Chan Yeol said frustratingly. Baek Hyun gave the tall male a strange look. Kyung Soo was manning the tong as he flipped the grilled pork.

 

“Do you know how stupid you sound like when you talk? It’s atrocious. I wish there’s a mute button.” The short man simply said and Jong In couldn’t help the lazy smirk that stretched across his face.

 

Chan Yeol let out a whine that made Baek Hyun’s eyes warm up. The whole place was loud with sizzling sound. The booth they were in was placed at the deep end of the restaurant and even with this small amount of crowd, they were secluded. Jong In liked it. He liked private things because he was a private person.

 

But he can’t help himself when he turned to look at Kyung Soo who was manning the grilling so quietly from next to him. The wooden bench was warm under them.

 

“Maybe it’s because Kyung Soo is my boyfriend, I supposed.” Jong In said offhandedly.

 

Boyfriend.

 

The word was a strange thing indeed.

 

Baek Hyun was openly gawking at them now and Kyung Soo had turned to Jong In. Attention solely on him and the tan skinned man felt his face burned up and a soft smile was settling cosily over his lower face.

 

Kyung Soo’s eyes were round. Pupils black. Skin white.

 

He was pretty.

 

“Boyfriend, huh? I guess so.” The elder simply said with a smile. A soft smile. Jong In’s smile.

 

It was easy for him to lean down as the man lean up.

 

The lips that met his were sweet. Chan Yeol was crying out “Oh my eyes! I don’t want to see this –my poor eyes!” and Baek Hyun was whimpering and chanting all sort of prayers under his breathe. Funny. He wasn’t even religious to begin with.

 

But Jong In unsurprisingly didn’t care.

 

Kim Jong In was nineteen that fall. He was in love with Do Kyung Soo and the man was his boyfriend now. Nineteen. Nineteen could be a good number. Because it was 19^th of October when he declared Kyung Soo his boyfriend in front of the two people that he deemed important enough in his life.

 

Nineteen.

 

He met Kyung Soo nine months ago, but nineteen. He was nineteen.

 

Jong In was in love when he was nineteen.

 

-End-

 

Note: I was heavily inspired by Doukyuusei and the song Secret from Fruit Basket when I wrote this. I love the idea of two awkward people just gravitate towards each other and fall in love. That’s the kind of mood I’m trying to deliver in this work. You can see it’s a bit messy, but that’s the whole point, because Jong In is airheaded. His attention span tends to move from one thing to another very easily. I wrote this in 4 hours though, so sorry if it’s a mess, but, well, feels man. I was overwhelmed with them. Need to put them down before I lose them, you know?

 

Also, I’ve portrayed the boys from the Love Me Right era, because I just can’t get over the aesthetic value of the whole MV’s concept.

 

So anyways, how was it? Good? No? Just lemme know.

 

I know. It has been a super long time since I last post anything here. Thanks to laynaung for being so loyal to me. Real tears to my eyes man, and I’m sorry that this is not the HunHan I’ve promised you. But I hope you will still like this the same.

 

-bluecoins