Back then…

“Good morning Sunggyu-hyung! I made breakfast for us! How would you like  egg omelettes?! I put a secret sauce on top of them! They’re delicious!”

“ It’s just ketchup”

*Pouts

“but all the members didn’t get hearts like you did!”

“Shut up! And why the hell did you put hearts on my omelette?!”

“well, I thought of just putting one but I guess it’s not enough!”

those memories, I can still remember them like yesterday.

 

 “How did it go?” Woohyun was smiling when Sunggyu entered his room.

”Doc says yes, we’re finally going home today. He’ll check up on you every day.”

“That’s really good to hear, I’ve been waiting to come back home again”

Sunggyu looked at the man he had been with all these years, after all that has happened he still can’t believe that he wakes up each day, with Woohyun by his side.

Really, there’s no regret as to how things ended up.

“Then, let’s go home. I’ll buy you your favourite candy on the way home”

"haha, I'm too old for candy, just fruits will do" 

"candied fruits then^_^" 

*

Back then, I used to tell myself that Woohyun and I can only be friends and because he’s younger than me that I could be closer to him as an older brother.

Things really went that way, but then it became so much more. I know Woohyun is always a sweet person but I hated when he flirts with someone, I even get jealous every time I saw Myungsoo with him or anyone for that matter.

Still I refuse to give in to myself; we live in a world where every move we make people will notice, but I’m not really good at hiding what I really feel. Soon our fans started noticing, the way I look at him, the way I treat him different from others, and everything I do seems to be reaching out to him. I couldn’t do anything about it, no matter how many times I tried to ill-talk everything as a joke in the end I’m the one who ends up getting hurt.

One time we had a serious fight when he found out that I accepted a role in a musical, that time he was at the hospital because of his upset stomach. I didn’t get the chance to tell him in person about my character and when he told me that I don’t even know how to act much less act like my character we just went hay wire.

“So you’re character has a love interest? Do you even know how to act like you’re in love hyung?”

“It’s a musical so really I can do it and I’ve been into some acting scenes before”

“You mean that cameo? Tsk. I couldn’t even call that acting”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you can insult someone like that! Maybe the reason why you still weren’t able to progress with your dreams is because you’re too busy flirting with everybody that you even forgot to take care of yourself!”

“Insult? I was hospitalized, all this time I thought that when I open my eyes you’ll be there beside me, but where were you? Oh right! You were with that girl practicing you kissing scene right?!”

“What are you saying?!”

“Here I am thinking that all the things I’ve done for you till now would finally make you notice me, but I was wrong. Get out!”

Our fans noticed of course, how we tried to avoid each other, how we tried to ignore each other’s presence even when we were on stage. Deep inside I felt like an idiot, not only that we’re worrying our fans but the fear inside me keep growing. The person I never want to hate me probably hates me right that moment.

“Hyung, do you remember when he had a serious fight back then? I really thought that was the last draw. Haha I even thought of leaving but I just can’t but I really like listening to our music, especially your voice, it calms me down”

“Oi, Woohyun-ah don’t move that much, you just got back from the hospital. Geez, you’re still that hard headed”

“Tehee, ^___^ Sunggyu-hyung you’re really an idiot you know. Saying things like you’re never leaving me and that you’ll stay forever, you’re really an idiot”

“You’re making it sound as if deciding that I want to be with you is the worst decision I ever made. Then let me tell you, choosing you, to be with you, is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life ‘cause until now I never did once regretted that decision” ^_^

“hehe just now all I can hear is the word decision, and I love you Woohyun”

When Infinite found out about us I thought that would be the end but instead they welcomed our relationship, they supported us and never did once tried to make us feel as though things have become different. They did everything to protect our relationship

But the problem lies within us, as we went further into achieving what we want tensions began to rise. My roles in the musical became demanding, so as his roles in the movie, when our contract in the condominium expired the seven of us went to live in different places. Woohyun and I can’t even live together to avoid any issue, but we endured everything even though we only met during the promotions or comebacks we didn’t look at anyone.

We became solo artists, he went out releasing albums one after the other, so am I. everything was really going well that I began to things that we’re finally reaching our goals.

Then things just went hay wire when someone saw us holding hands, that moment I feel like I’ve ruined everything for Woohyun, for our group, for me, and for everything.

When I heard Woohyun quit and took all the blame, the harsh criticisms and the insults, that night we fought so hard that I can’t even remember what happened. All I could think is how his tears were endlessly streaming down his cheeks. His dreams are now shattered and I was the one who ruined everything. I couldn’t protect him, that I’m useless.

After that Woohyun left, when the members heard about the issue they did not say anything, even though  we already went our separate ways I can still feel that Infinite is there and inspirit have always been with us.

Then I met this fan, she asked me what if what my dream is, that’s when it hit me , my dream is not a what, it is a who.

*

“Sunggyu-ah, back then I was really happy when you suddenly show up at my house. I was so surprised I thought I was hallucinating”

“Yeah, then you actually slap me to see if it’s real right? Just wait I’ll peel this apples for you okay?”

“Hahaha, I still can’t believe I slapped you, I only thought that if someone’s going to say ouch then it must be real”

*flashback

“What ‘s the slap for?! I came all the way here, I haven’t sleep for 24 hours, I still haven’t eaten anything just to see you and this is what I get?!”

“hyung? this is not a dream?”

“Sheesh, if this is a dream then… I’ll wake you up”

Sunggyu held Woohyun’s chin and brought their lips together for a kiss.

“Now tell me, is this a dream?” Sunggyu was smiling as he rests his forehead against Woohyun’s. “Augh, so tired”

“Why are you here then? If someone saw you, you’re…”

 “I don’t care anymore”

“but your dreams”

“right now I don’t have any, ‘cause I only have one”

“hyung..”

“Woohyun-ah, I’m so sorry I hurt you, I couldn’t protect you. I’m a coward but please give me another chance. I promise I will never leave you, I will stay with you … forever”

“But hyung… we’re”

“Woohyun-ah, look at me. Did you felt wrong when you fell in love with me?”

“N… no”

“Then, are we not entitle to choose the one we love? Is love just really what they think it is? If that’s love then you’re right I’m a failure, ‘cause right now, I love no one except the person in front of me”

“Hyung, I don’t … I don’t know what to say”

“Just say, “ I love you too and please stay” that’s all I want to hear”

Sungjong and Myungsoo came to visit us, then Sungyeol followed with Hoya and Dongwoo. Even our manager came as well as our CEO, it was a small wedding but I felt so happy.

*

“Sunggyu-hyung do you still remember that girl? I was really thankful to her, if you hadn’t met her then maybe we won’t be together. I really loved our fans, Inspirit had taken great lengths to support us”

“Yeah, I wonder where she is now”

“Can you still remember her name hyung?”

“Of course, it’s Love. Her name is Love; I can’t forget that name, after all it made me realize how much you’re meant to me. ^__^”

“Sunggyu-ah, for all these years I never really thought you’re going to keep your promise. I’m really thankful that I get to spend every bit of my life with you up to this moment, I was so happy my heart feels like it can’t take no more”

“Of course, I intend to love you… even if”

Woohyun reaches out his weak hand to his husband, sixty years had passed and every day is like a blessing, “can you sing me that song?

“sure, I’ll sing it a million times until you don’t want to hear it no more” Sunggyu smiled as held Woohyun’s hand and began to let the notes flutter out of his lips.

“^__^ how can I possibly not want to hear, as something as beautiful as this coming from the man I love” Woohyun gently squeezes Sunggyu’s hand as he slowly began to close his eyes, “Kim Sunggyu, I love you”

“I know, I love you two Nam Woohyun” Sunggyu paused as he looked at Woohyun, tears run down his cheeks as he continue to sing

This song, the only two of us know

Our song

Woohyun’s eyes remained close as though he’s only fast asleep; Sunggyu slowly leans over and gave one final kiss.

“Woohyun-ah, I kept my promise right? I’ll be going over there soon. Just wait for me”

 

What is love? I don’t know, no one does

However,

I know who my love is

Do you?