(five years later)

“So I looked through his pockets, okay?” Baekhyun is saying as Jongin tells the waiter his drink order. Tao groans, resting his chin in his hand.

“Baekhyun, why do you look through his pockets?”

“And you know what I found?” Baekhyun continues, disregarding the question. Tao takes a deep breath, but plays along anyway.

“What?”

“They just bought a dining room table,” he says, despair evident in his voice. “He and his wife just went out and spent $1,600 on a dining room table.”

“Where?”

“The point isn’t where, Tao,” Baekhyun moans, slumping down in his seat. “The point is, he’s never going to leave her!”

“What else is new?” Tao throws his straw wrapper across the table at the eldest. “You’ve known this for two years.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Baekhyun grumbles, pouting down at his soda. “I know you’re right.”

“Why can’t you find someone single?” Tao asks amusedly. “When I was single, I knew lots of nice, single men. There must be someone. Jongin found someone.”

“Jongin got the last good one,” Baekhyun complains. Jongin, who’s been quiet throughout the exchange, looks up with a small smile.

“Sehun and I broke up,” he informs them. Tao and Baekhyun both look at him in shock.

“What?”

“When?”

“Monday.”

“And you waited three days to tell us?” Tao asks incredulously.

“Wait, you mean Sehun’s available?”

“For God’s sake Baekhyun—” Tao reaches over to swat at Baekhyun’s head. “Don’t you have any feelings about this? He’s obviously upset—”

“I’m not that upset,” Jongin cuts in, smiling reassuringly at his friends. “We’ve been growing apart for quite a while.”

Baekhyun looks horrified.

“But you were a couple! You had someone to go places with; you had a date on national holidays!”

“I just said to myself, ‘You deserve more than this. You’re thirty-one years old—’”

“—and the clock is ticking,” Baekhyun and Tao finish together. Jongin laughs lightly and straightens his napkin in his lap.

“No, the clock doesn’t really start to tick ’til you’re thirty-six.”

“God, you’re in such great shape,” Tao stares at him in awe.

“Well, I’ve had a few days to get used to it, and I feel okay.” Jongin says matter-of-factly.

“Good. Then you’re ready.”

Baekhyun plops his phone down on the table in front of them and starts scrolling through his seemingly endless contact list.

“Really, Baekhyun,” Tao says with disbelief, shaking his head in disapproval.

“How else do you think you do it?” Baekhyun shoots back, pulling up a profile on the screen. “Jongin, I’ve got the perfect guy.”

“Then you go out with him—” Tao starts before he’s interrupted.

“I’ve got someone.”

“You’ve got someone someone else also has.”

The eldest ignores him, turning back to Jongin.

“I don’t happen to find him attractive, but you might.”

“Baekhyun, I’m not ready yet,” Jongin sighs, giving his best friend a look.

“I thought you just said you were over him!”

“I am over him!” Jongin insists. “But I am in a mourning period.” There’s a few seconds of silence before his eyes wander back over to Baekhyun’s phone. “…who is it?”

“Lee Taemin,” Baekhyun says with a grin. Tao chokes on his iced tea, and Jongin can’t help but chuckle too.

“You fixed me up with him six years ago.”

“Okay okay,” Baekhyun sighs, scrolling some more. “Ah! Choi Siwon.”

“He’s been married for over a year,” Jongin says, watching Baekhyun’s long fingers tap away at the screen.

“Really?” Baekhyun says, glancing up for a second before looking back at the phone. “Married…” he repeats to himself as he adds the “X” emoji to the contact name.

“Wait, wait, I got it, I got it—”

“Look,” Jongin interrupts, “there is no point in my going out with someone I might really like if I met him at the right time but who, right now, has no chance of being anything to me but a transitional man.”

“Okay, okay. But don’t wait too long. Do you remember Kim Taehyung? His wife left him, and everyone said, ‘give him some time, don’t move in too fast,’ and six months later, he was dead.”

“What are you saying?” Jongin deadpans. “I should marry someone right away in case he’s about to die?”

“At least you can say you were married,” Tao points out.

“I’m just saying that the right man for you might be out there right now, and if you don’t grab him, someone else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your husband.” Baekhyun says, sipping his soda. Jongin just stares at him.

—

“When did this happen?” Chanyeol is asking, looking at his despondent best friend beside him. The stadium is packed with Mets fans, the energy level is high, and there’s a wave in progress going across the crowd. It it, for the most part, disregarded by the pair.

“Friday,” Kyungsoo says. “Jongdae comes home, he says, ‘I don’t know if I want to be married anymore.’ You know, like it’s the institution, it’s nothing personal, it’s just something he’s thinking about in a kind of casual way. I’m calm. I say, ‘Why don’t we think about it? Take some time; don’t rush into anything.’ Next day he says he’s thought about it— he wants a trial separation. He just wants to try it, he says, like this is supposed to cushion the blow. I mean, I got married so I could stop dating, so I don’t see where ‘we can still date’ is a big incentive since, as far as I’m concerned, the last thing you wanna do is date your husband, who’s supposed to love you. Which is what I’m saying to him when it crosses my mind that maybe he doesn’t. So I say, ‘Don’t you love me anymore?’ and you know what he says? ‘I don’t know if I’ve ever loved you.’”

“Ooh,” Chanyeol winces in sympathy, both of them standing and lifting their arms as the wave passes through. “That’s harsh.”

They sit back down, Kyungsoo settling heavily into the plastic chair. “You don’t bounce back from that right away,” Chanyeol adds.

“Thanks, Yeol,” Kyungsoo sighs.

“No, I’m a writer. I know dialogue. That’s particularly harsh.”

“And then,” Kyungsoo starts again, “he says he just found out that somebody at his office is going to South America; he can sublet his apartment. I can’t believe it. ‘I can’t believe this,’ I say, and the doorbell rings. ‘I can sublet his apartment.’ The words are still in the air; the words are still hanging there like in a little balloon connected to his mouth.”

“Like a cartoon.”

“Yeah. And I get to the door and the movers are there. Now I’m starting to get suspicious, and I say, ‘Jongdae? When did you call these movers?’ He’s not answering. I look at the movers and say, ‘When did this man book you for this gig?’ and they’re standing there, three huge guys, right? One of them is wearing a shirt that says ‘Don’t with Mister Zero,’ and I say, when did you make this arrangement— and Jongdae says ‘a week ago.’ I say, ‘You’ve known this for a whole week and you didn’t tell me?’ and he says, ‘I didn’t want to ruin your birthday.’”

A second wave comes through the crowd, and the two of them mindlessly participate once again.

“You’re saying Mister Zero knew you were getting a divorce a week before you did?”

“Mister Zero knew.”

“Jeez…”

“I haven’t told you the bad part yet,” Kyungsoo sighs, staring blankly down at the field. 

“What could be worse than Mister Zero knowing?”

“It’s all a lie,” Kyungsoo says after a second, the hurt obvious in his voice. “He’s in love with another guy. Some tax attorney. He moved in with him.”

“How did you find out?” Chanyeol asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looks at Kyungsoo’s face.

“I followed him and stood outside the building.”

Chanyeol’s heart breaks for him. “Kyungsoo, that’s so humiliating…”

“Tell me about it. Standing on the street, the ultimate schmuck.” Kyungsoo runs a hand through his hair and glances up at the sky. “I knew it would happen. This whole time I knew even though we were happy, it was just an illusion and one day he’d kick the out of me.”

“Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity,” Chanyeol tells him. “It’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.”

“Oh really?” Kyungsoo snaps. “Well that symptom is ing my husband.”

The wave comes through again. They stand and sit without a second thought.

“At least you got the apartment,” Chanyeol says helpfully. Kyungsoo glares at him.

—

“So I just happened to see his American Express bill,” Baekhyun starts as Jongin flips through a copy of “Safe in Dangerous Times” a few weeks later. Jongin rolls his eyes before re-shelving the book and wandering further down the aisle of the bookstore.

“What do you mean, you just happened to see it?”

“Well, he was shaving, and there it was in his briefcase…”

Jongin stops to stare at him incredulously. “What if he came out and saw you looking through his briefcase?”

“You’re missing the point,” Baekhyun whines, tugging on the younger’s sleeve as he reads the back cover of a different book. “I’m telling you what I found. He spent $120 on a nightgown for his wife.” He slumps defeatedly against the shelves. “I don’t think he’s ever going to leave her.”

“No one thinks he’s ever going to leave her.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I know you’re right,” Baekhyun sighs, running a hand through his hair and looking across the bookstore. He pauses, furrowing his eyebrows a little before slowly leaning over to Jongin, “Someone is staring at you in Personal Growth.”

Jongin glances over his shoulder at the Personal Growth section, where Do Kyungsoo is looking at him curiously over a book of his own. He can’t help but smile to himself at the pure coincidence of running into him again before turning back to the shelf. 

“I know him. You’d like him. He’s married.”

“Who is he?”

“Do Kyungsoo. He’s a political consultant.”

“He’s cute,” Baekhyun says, trying to check Kyungsoo out without being too obvious and failing miserably. Jongin glances back again.

“You think he’s cute?”

“How do you know he’s married?”

“Because the last time I saw him, he was getting married,” Jongin says.

“When was that?”

“Six years ago.”

“So he might not be married anymore!” Baekhyun says excitedly.

“Also he’s obnoxious.”

“This is just like in the movies! Remember, like in The Lady Vanishes, where she says to him, ‘You are the most obnoxious man I have ever met—’”

“—the most contemptible—“ Jongin corrects.

“—and then they fall madly in love.”

“Also, he never remembers me,” he insists, shrugging Baekhyun’s hand off his shoulder.

“Kim Jongin.”

Jongin slowly turns around and is faced with a smiling Kyungsoo. His eyes are tired, but he’s sharply dressed and his hair is perfect, and Jongin wonders if he was this attractive the last time he saw him.

“Hi, Kyungsoo,” he smiles back, putting the book down and turning to face him. He’s taller than the elder now, he notices.

“I thought it was you.”

“It is,” Jongin laughs softly. “This is Baekhyun…”

He turns to his side just in time to see his best friend disappearing down the stairs, waving happily and giving Jongin a thumbs-up before vanishing.

“…was Baekhyun.”

Kyungsoo laughs, and Jongin decides it’s a rather pleasant sound. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Oh, fine. How’s Sehun?”

“Fine,” Jongin says again, swallowing thickly and briefly glancing at his shoes. “I hear he’s fine.”

“You’re not with Sehun anymore?”

“We just broke up,” Jongin says with a small smile, hoping it doesn’t look too strained.

“Oh, man, that’s too bad,” he says with a frown, and he sounds uncharacteristically sincere.

“Yeah, well, you know. Yeah,” the younger shrugs. “What about you?”

“I’m fine.”

“How’s married life?”

“Not so good,” Kyungsoo tells him, his voice cool and detached. “I’m getting a divorce.”

Jongin’s smile slips off his face. “Oh god, I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I’m really sorry.” He hesitates for a second before asking, “When did this happen?”

“Couple of weeks ago.”

“That’s right when Sehun and I broke up.”

“Isn’t that amazing?” Kyungsoo says dryly.

“Not really. Everybody in New York breaks up this time of year.”

“Maybe it’s the pressure of Halloween.”

“Yeah. You never know what to go as.” And after a second, “…what happened?”

“He left me. He fell in love with a tax attorney.”

“A ‘Junmyeon,’” Jongin jokes without thinking.

“A Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo repeats before remembering. “Oh, yeah. Right, well, Minseok, actually, but it’s the same.”

“I’m sorry, Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah, well. What are you going to do?” He shrugs with a small smile of his own. “What happened with you guys?”

—

“When Sehun and I started seeing each other, we wanted exactly the same thing,” Jongin tells him later over coffee. Kyungsoo’s is black, and Jongin’s nursing an iced skinny hazelnut macchiato with sugar-free syrup, light ice, and no whip. “We wanted to live together, but we weren’t going to get married because every time everyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship. They practically never had again. It’s true, it’s one of the secrets no one ever tells you. I would sit around with my friends who had kids— well, actually my one friend who has kids, Tao, and he would complain about how he and his husband never did it anymore. He didn’t even complain about it, now that I think about it. He just said it matter-of-factly. They were up all night, they were both exhausted all the time, the kids just took every ual impulse they had out of them. Sehun and I used to talk about it and say, ‘We’re so lucky. We have this wonderful relationship where we can have on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kid walking in. We can fly off to Rome on a moment’s notice.’

“Then one day I was taking Tao’s little girl for the afternoon. I’d promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing ‘I Spy,’ you know? ‘I spy a lamppost, I spy a mailbox.’ And she looked out the window and there was this man and this woman with two little kids, the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Tao’s little girl said, ‘I spy a family.’” Jongin says, pausing for a moment when his voice gets thick with emotion. “And I started to cry.”

Kyungsoo listens silently, eyes trained on Jongin’s, a gentle expression on his face.

“You know, I just started crying,” Jongin continues, a slight catch in his voice. “And I went home, and I said, the thing is, Sehun, we never do fly off to Rome on a moment’s notice.”

“What about the kitchen floor?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin shakes his head.

“Not once,” he says softly. “It’s this very cold, hard, Mexican ceramic tile. Anyway, we talked about it for a long time, and I said ‘this is what I want,’ and he said ‘well I don’t,’ and I said ‘I guess it’s over,’ and he left.” He pauses to nod to himself, as if trying to convince himself that it’s as simple as that. “And the truth is, I really feel fine,” he says as he sips his coffee, the look in his eyes far from fine. “I’m over him. I really am over him. That was it for him, that was the most he could give, and every time I think about it, I’m more and more convinced I did the right thing.”

“You sound really healthy,” Kyungsoo tells him.

“Yeah,” Jongin says after a beat. His heart’s not in the words.

—

“At least I got the apartment,” Jongin says optimistically as they walk down unhurriedly down the street together. The sun is setting, making the fall leaves seem even more brilliant under the warm orange glow.

“Everyone says that to me, too,” Kyungsoo chuckles, his hands shoved in his pockets. “But what’s so hard about getting an apartment? You read the obituaries, you find out who died and you go see the doorman. What would make it easier  is if they’d put the two sections together. ‘Mr. Klein died today, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.’”

Jongin laughs genuinely at that, and the somber mood hanging around both of them dissipates a little.

“When we first met,” Kyungsoo says after a few minutes of comfortable silence, “I really didn’t like you that much.”

“I didn’t like you.”

“You did, too,” Kyungsoo teases. “You were just so uptight. You’re much softer now.”

Jongin pauses in his walking to look at Kyungsoo and cross his arms. “I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a compliment, but it’s really an insult, you know?”

“Fine, you’re still as hard as nails,” Kyungsoo shrugs. Jongin rolls his eyes and starts walking again.

“I just didn’t want to sleep with you, so you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you.”

“What’s the statute of limitations on apologies?”

Jongin smiles. “Ten years.”

“Ooh, I can just get it in under the wire,” Kyungsoo says, earning another laugh from the younger. They walk in silence for a few more seconds before Jongin stops again.

“Would you… like to have dinner with me sometime?” he asks. Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, glancing around as if he’s not sure how to respond.

“…are we becoming friends now?”

Jongin thinks for a second before nodding. “Yes, I guess so.”

“Wow,” Kyungsoo smiles as they start walking again. “This is amazing. You may be the first attractive man I have not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.”

“That’s wonderful, Kyungsoo,” Jongin sighs.

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