The thing with Jimin is: He tries so hard. Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he doesn't, but damn him if he doesn't do everything he can.

At first, it has been a means to cope with his anxiety; he felt worthless, not good enough for the group, he constantly thought he was being looked down at. So he wanted to work and work and work some more to become someone worthy of his position in the group, worthy of the amazing members he had.

Said members have done a great job on making Jimin finally believe that without him, Bangtan wouldn't be Bangtan, that he actually is enough, more than enough even. But trying hard has become Jimin's second nature, so he keeps doing it.

Especially when it comes to reaching his other life goal next to his career.

 

"Hey Chim, are you done packing? Whatcha doin'?" Tae comes barging into their room, all box smile and flailing limbs. He's always the most excited when they have some time off for visiting their parents and family.

Jimin looks up from his laptop. "Yeah, I just have to memorize this and then I'm good to go."

Taehyung props his chin on Jimin's shoulder from behind to be able to look at the screen. He frowns. "What? You're learning offside position rules?"

"Yoongi-hyung said his friends will come over for the match tonight and I don't want to embarrass him with my... complete lack of knowledge about football. So I'm looking up stuff."

Tae chuckles and kisses Jimin's temple before turning around. "Okay, Jimin, you do you. Our ride to the airport goes in twenty minutes."

 

When Yoongi asked Jimin if he wanted to stay the first couple of days at his home in Daegu after Jimin had told everyone that his parents are on holiday themselves the first half of Bangtan's break, Taehyung was the only one not surprised about Jimin's enthusiastic response (including Yoongi, who also looked quite baffled). Since Daegu and Busan were only about an hour by car apart, everyone assumed Jimin would stay at Tae's in Daegu, or Jungkook's in Busan. Yoongi's offer itself was even more surprising than Jimin's answer though.

But Yoongi just stayed quiet at the others' questions and called his mother to tell her there will be one more guest. Everyone could hear his mother's at least as enthusiastic as Jimin's response through Yoongi's phone (which was not set on loudspeaker) and Jimin blushed a bit.

Taehyung would've loved to have Jimin over, but this was so much better.

 

Jimin doesn't really dwell on the one question that repeats itself in his head over and over when he sits between Jungkook and Taehyung on their flight to Busan (Yoongi volunteered for the seat apart from the other three): "Why did he invite me?"

Taehyung is the only one that knows about Jimin's huge crush on their hyung. A crush that has kind of become so much more the day on which Yoongi was hospitalized due to his burst appendix and Namjoon, in his complete panic, said the words: "You can die of a burst appendix." (Seokjin wanted to beat him up afterwards for scaring the kids so much.) And Jimin realized it wasn't just a crush when he rushed out of the hospital's waiting room into the restroom, sat down in a corner and cried his eyes out, praying to a god he wasn't quite sure believed in, until Taehyung found him and hugged him as long as the doctors took to confirm Yoongi wasn't in risk of death.

When Jimin looks across the aisle of the plane now, Yoongi is just sitting there with his headphones plugged in, alive and chipper (well, as chipper as Min Yoongi gets) as ever. Jimin smiles, and is promptly getting caught in a headlock by his best friend.

"Chim, you really really need to do something about it during your stay at his house!" Tae whispers way too loudly. Jimin looks around in panic, but Jungkook has been sleeping since the exact moment his head hit the pillow propped against his seat.

"Be quiet, you idiot!" Jimin hissed. "Also, what can I do? I don't really know if he feels about me that way, too."

"Why would he have invited you then?" Tae grins his trademark smile.

"I don't know? You know how he gets about us, Tae, all protective without saying a word. Maybe he just felt bad for me?"

"He didn't have to, though, he knew you could've just stayed at my place, Jimin! Our emotionally constipated grandpa here is maybe finally trying to open up about his feelings, and you have to help him!"

Jimin gulps. Yes, it is highly out of character for Yoongi to offer him to stay at his place. Of course, Jimin and the rest of them know Yoongi's parents and his older brother from when they visited the dorm or came to see a concert. Yoongi's father and older brother are both what would seem to be older versions of Yoongi himself; cold, aloof, uncaring. But Jimin knows that Yoongi was neither cold nor uncaring, and as soon as he feels comfortable around someone, he doesn't even try to keep up that act anymore... Yoongi's mother was a kind and warm person, and Jimin is quite sure that Yoongi is as much her child as his father's.

Yet he doesn't know. He has always wondered how Yoongi's place would be, how Yoongi's family would be outside of everything that has got to do with Bangtan, and he can't wait to find out.

 

The anxiety is burning in Jimin's guts when the van that has come for Yoongi, Jimin and Tae drops off Taehyung at his house before bringing the other two to Yoongi's place. They are alone now, only Yoongi and Jimin, and Jimin can't quite remember the last time they were alone. His whole body tenses, because he doesn't want to mess up. He has to try his best to show Yoongi that he would fit into his family, that... well, that he would be an amazing boyfriend. Because this is it, right? The chance to prove himself. To be alone with Yoongi, to be with his loved ones, to become his loved one.

"Relax, Jimin." Jimin startles out of his thoughts and looks at Yoongi.

"Huh?"

"I said, relax. Everything's gonna be fine."

 

Everything is not fine, thank you very much, Jimin thinks as he stares at the TV, watching the boring match.

Okay, Yoongi's mother is a star; when she stopped suffocating Yoongi with her hugs at the door, she immediately proceeded to throw her arms around Jimin, cooing about how handsome her son's friend was and how happy she was Yoongi finally brought somebody home (which Jimin still tries very hard not to misinterpret). She then asked Jimin about his favourite foods so she would know what to cook for him for the next few days. Jimin blushed again, mumbling something about how this was too much, and her soft smile was so much like Yoongi's next to his mother Jimin thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever encountered.

Yoongi's father is a quiet man, much quieter even than his son. He didn't hug Yoongi (which shocked Jimin at first, since his own family's display of affection usually overflows with kisses and hugs and touches), but then Jimin saw the proud glint in Yoongi's father's eyes, and he heard the warm tone in his low voice when he said "Welcome home, my son", and Jimin saw Yoongi drop his head humbly with joy and gratefulness, and he knew how much Min Yoongi was loved. Yoongi's father gave Jimin a strong handshake. "Yoongi always tells us how hard you work. I respect hard work, Park Jimin", he said, and Jimin doesn't know if he's ever been prouder.

So yes, he thinks, sitting between Yoongi and Yoongi's hyung on the couch, watching the football match, Yoongi's parents are wonderful and are very kind to him.

But then Yoongi's hyung came home with some of their mutual friends, and everything became so awkward.

Jimin cannot say Yoongi's hyung and his friends are unfriendly, not at all. They all gave him a strong handshake, immediately shoved a can of beer into his hands (Jimin didn't dare to tell them he doesn't like beer) and started joking around with him in a companionable manner.

But they are so... so very much the thing Yoongi pretends to be most of the time (and in some ways, is - but he's so much more than that). They're like the cool kids back from Jimin's highschool days, all manly with their beer in their hands and their inside jokes about sports and cars. Jimin steals some glances of Yoongi, who seems as comfortable as a fish in the water, loudly protesting against the referee's latest decision. And Jimin steels himself.

"Yeah, he was totally in an offset position, right?" Jimin says boldly. Yoongi stares at him with a weird look on his face, but Yoongi's brother pats Jimin's back good-naturedly. "Who would've thought the cute-faced kid knows his sports?"

The others laugh. "Yeah, isn't he, like, too handsome for that?" one asks.

And Jimin sees, Jimin feels they don't mean any bad, but he's also painfully aware of the fact that they don't see him as one of their... kind. Yet, he brushes it away, tries to tune in with their laughter and keeps on trying to keep up with the game. The more he says, the more Yoongi tenses next to him, but Jimin doesn't really notice. He needs to blend in, to show how much he fits into this life of Yoongi's.

"Jiminnie, darling, do you wanna come help me with dinner?" Yoongi's mum calls from the kitchen. (Yoongi looks at Jimin, his mouth slowly changing from a frown to a smile. Jimin doesn't notice, still so preoccupied with trying not to miss anything from the boring match.) And oh, Jimin really wants to, Jimin loves helping out in his own mum's and Seokjin's kitchen. He loves serving food to other people, loves the smile he receives from Yoongi when he gives him his plate of food when the elder is watching a match with Jungkook at the dorm, knowing well that Jimin doesn't really watch sports. Jimin wants to stop pretending because it's exhausting, but he cannot stop right now, when Yoongi's brother throws an arm around his shoulders and shouts: "Mum, he's watching the game with us, he's a man!"

Someone on the other couch whispers quite audibly: "Although his face doesn't quite look like a man's." Jimin freezes, and another friend of Yoongi's and his hyung's smacks the commenter on the head, says, "but look how well he keeps up! Let him be, he doesn't even have make up on today!"

Jimin knows he's messed up when Yoongi gets up and leaves the room for the kitchen without a word, smile completely vanished from his face. Yoongi's friends have completely seen through his act... Yoongi must be so embarrassed of him.

Jimin stays silent for the rest of the match, fighting tears, and when Yoongi comes back with plates of food, having missed a good chunk of the match, he doesn't sit back down next to Jimin but on the floor in front of the couch.

 

Yoongi's hyung's friends are staying overnight as well, so Jimin doesn't get to sleep in the guest room of the big house Yoongi has bought for his family as soon as he earned enough in royalties (which he does a lot nowadays). Jimin has not realized this before, and now he's standing in Yoongi's room that is still decorated like a teenager's room with posters of famous basketball players and foreign rappers.

The owner of the room has not talked to him since the match and is occupying one half of the huge bed (of course Yoongi would have a huge bed), waiting for Jimin to enter so he can turn off the lights.

Silently, Jimin slips under the covers. His heart hurts. This evening was supposed to be so perfect; he was supposed to leave a great impression on Yoongi's friends and family, and then the sleeping-together-situation would've had been the perfect opportunity to get close to Yoongi, who was supposed to be pleased with his soon-to-be-boyfriend who should've adapted so well into his Daegu life.

Yoongi turns off the light on the night stand and the silence is deafening. Until he decides to break it.

"I'm sorry, Jimin. I shouldn't have invited you, I should have known you wouldn't be comfortable here."

Jimin freezes the second time this night. "... what?"

Yoongi sighs deeply. "I was being very selfish, of course you would not refuse my offer to stay, you didn't want to be rude. And I just wanted to have you here, so I could enjoy my break with not only my family but you as well. I wanted everyone dear to me with me, so selfish. Of course you would have had more fun at Tae's, you wouldn't have to be so tense... I'm sorry. Really am. Do you want me to drive you over to Taehyung's tomorrow?"

Jimin stays dead quiet, trying to process what Yoongi has just said, trying to get all the implications ("everyone dear to me" Jimin's brain screams at him). The silence is a bit too long, and Yoongi sighs. "Let's get up early tomorrow so I can drive you over."

"NO!" Jimin shouts before immediately covering his mouth with his hand. "I mean, please let me stay?" he whispers. "I promise I will try harder to fit in tomorrow! I am sorry I couldn't please you today, you know, I really really wanted to, I even looked up football rules so I wouldn't embarrass you in front of your friends. But somehow I managed to do so anyway, I'm sorry I'm so weird and awkward and-"

Suddenly, there is a larger palm covering his own one still over his mouth, and it presses down so Jimin can't continue rambling.

"You wanted to please me? By fitting in? Why? You looked so uncomfortable, Jiminnie..."

Jimin gently puts away Yoongi's palm. The soft shine of the street lights outside comes in through the curtains, and Yoongi's pale skin between Jimin's own hands glows.

"I wanted you to think I fit in your life I guess?" Jimin whispers, and Yoongi moves his hand out of Jimin's grasp. He gently cups Jimin's cheek instead and Jimin nuzzles into the touch reflexively before he can overthink what he's doing. "I don't know, I wanted you to be happy about inviting me, and to keep inviting me. I wanted your friends to like me so I can feel at home here? I wanted you to think I am at home here, hyung..."

Jimin's cheek is burning up under Yoongi's touch. This is close. Dangerously close. The unsaid words hang between them, and Jimin shudders, waits for Yoongi to make the final decision.

Which he does.

Yoongi pulls Jimin's body closer to his own, cradles the younger's head onto his arm on the bed while his other arm gently lies around Jimin's waist. Jimin buries his hands in Yoongi's shirt on his back and breathes in the clean scent that reminds him of lake water and dry wood, the scent that is so much Yoongi. Finally he feels at home.

"Jimin, you don't have to pretend to be somebody else to please me. God, you silly kid. Don't you know how much I like you when you're just you?"

"No, I don't", Jimin whispers truthfully. Yoongi sighs into Jimin's hair.

"Jiminnie", Yoongi rumbles with his deep voice, tensing a bit around Jimin. It sends shivers down Jimin's spine. "This hyung is so in love with you."

Oh. Oh. So Tae was right all along?

Jimin is suddenly grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. In the darkness, Yoongi cannot see this, but he feels Jimin burying his face in his own chest, hugging him even closer. It's exhilarating, Jimin feels as if he can never breathe again, but in a strangely good way. He in the air greedily, and it's full of Yoongi. Yoongi around his body, in his lungs, his deep voice in his ears, and it is the best.

"I'm in love with you, too", he mumbles into Yoongi's chest and a dark chuckle emits out of the other boy.

"Mh? I didn't quite catch that", Yoongi laughs quietly in an amused tone.

"So mean." Jimin is glad Yoongi cannot see his fierce blush in the darkness.

"Hmmm?"

"I'm in love with you, too, hyung." Clearer. With his face upwards to Yoongi. And Yoongi stops laughing, stops teasing him. Instead, there are these large palms on Jimin's cheeks again, and a pair of thinner, soft lips against Jimin's full, chapped ones, and Jimin quietly moans into the kiss.

"This is everything you have to do when you want to please me", Yoongi whispers against Jimin's lips.

"Really? There's nothing else?", Jimin whispers back and boldly presses his hips forward against Yoongi's. Yoongi gasps.

"Well... I can think of some other things when we're not at my parents house."

Jimin laughs and slings his arms around Yoongi's neck, kissing him until he really can't breathe anymore.

~~~~~

This was not beta'd, I'm sorry. As soon as my betas have time, I might edit it. I'm always way too impatient :)

OKAY this is... so my partner is trying to get into football nowadays so he has something he can talk about with my dad, which is super cute, but also sometimes a bit awkward? Completely real life inspired stuff here :'D

BUT GERMANY VS ITALY WAS SO DRAMATIC, GUYS, I HAVE LOST AT LEAST 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE BECAUSE OF THE PENALTIES. GODDAMNIT BOATENG. But we won anyway pHEW.

Haha, tmi ends here. I hope you enjoyed this! Aaaand... well, I guess we will find out what happens when they are not at Yoongi's parents' home :3cccc (beware, I am a er for praise kink, and I think Jimin might have one...)

Comments and kudos are the stuff I live for. Also, you can always visit me on tumblr!