My life has been filled with nothingness.

Like an empty shell in the shore, trying to catch up with the waves but still couldn't. Trying to vanish slowly but it still takes too long. Then just being there, forgotten and alone, hurt and scattered, blind and dumped. That was the very state of me who have got enough of my search for any hope.

And then the memories of you came back haunting me...

I remember when we were forgetting everything. We were talking like there would be no tomorrow again. We were openly admitting our secrets, opinions. We have been being furious to each other. We have been crying and showing our weaknesses, breaking down and totally taking off all facade. We have been holding hands in complicated situation, refusing to let it go. We have been protecting each other and taking the whole risks. We have been being careless for the world outside. Only us.

Only us...

I remember we were in the car, listening to music. A death metal song came on. I watched as you cringed, paying more attention to the slight of crinkle of her nose than to my driving. I smiled and cranked down the volume a bit.

“you don’t like heavy metal?” I asked, clasping her tiny hand in mine.

She laughed “ I don’t listening to it much”

“why?” I asked, because at that time I was a stupid teenage girl who listened to stupid teenage songs “it’s cool”

“it’s so loud” she said, “Like someone’s be