Im Nayoung POV

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

“AGAIN! I expect more of you Im Nayoung. How can the leader be so mediocre at dancing. We are going to do this again until you have perfected it, have I made myself clear?!”

“De… mianae unnie… I will try harder…”

“Don’t mianae me. Prove it with your actions. FROM THE TOP, 5,6,7,8!” Thus began another painful 3 hour session of dancing. Nayoung definitely wasn’t the best dancer around, it took her a much longer time than the other girls to get the choreography down properly.

“IM NAYOUNG YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KICK OUT WITH YOUR LEFT FOOT NOT YOUR RIGHT! AISH SINCHA!” the choreographer hissed. This was soon followed by a plastic water bottle sailing through the air across the room, hitting Nayoung squarely in the left foot. 

“AHHH…apayo….” 

“I have had it with you I am done. You’d better stay here until you’ve got this dance segment memorised properly. I will test you tomorrow, and if you have not perfected it yet, you are going to have to pay a visit to the CEO’s office. Seriously, how did they let someone like you be the leader of a girl group…” The door slammed shut as the choreographer left the dance studio, leaving nayoung slumped on the ground, alone.

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

“Don’t cry… Don’t you dare cry Im Nayoung… Don’t you dare…” A lone tear escaped her left eye and trickled down her chin, creating a small oasis on the dry, dusty studio floor. 

It had always been her dream to be an idol. Ever since she was a little girl, watching groups like SNSD and F(x) never failed to put a smile on her face. 

“One day I’m going to be just like Tiffany unnie Omma!”

“Ahh Omma unnies are so lucky to be idols, I wish I could be one too~” 

Childhood dreams of a distant past, now a cruel reality of the present. She got what she wanted, she became an idol, the leader of I.O.I. She rubbed shoulders with the biggest names in the business, she even got to meet her Tiffany unnie in person. She’s so lucky right? She’s so fortunate to have achieved her goals right?

So why wasn’t she happy?

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

THUD. Nayoung fell to the ground, her knees giving way after another 3 hours of non-stop dancing. 

No, I’m not going to give up. I can’t give up.

THUD.

No, GET UP. Stupid body, WORK dammit!

THUD.

“!” That was the last straw and Nayoung just lay on the ground, tears flowing freely. There was no time to rest. She can’t rest. What would the rest of the girls say if she couldn't get the choreo memorised? What would the fans think of her? 

“Useless. You’re useless Im Nayoung, a pathetic wannabe of an idol.” “Stone buddha indeed, dances like a lifeless stone.” “i.o.i? More like my-oh-my you guys .” Thousands of negative thoughts assailed Nayoung’s mind as she began to full-out bawl, letting all the pent-up frustration and emotions built up over the past few weeks escape from her system. 

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Kim Sejeong’s POV

“Unnie? UNNIE are you okay?”  a concerned Sejeong burst through the doors of the studio. Sejeong happened to be walking past when she heard sobbing sounds coming from the dance studio. Concerned, she went to take a look, and the sight that greeted her definitely shocked and frightened her. Nayoung wasn’t one to express emotions, heck, many suspected she was actually a dancing robot sent from the future.

But Sejeong knew better.

For all the stern lectures Nayoung gave the group about their rowdy behaviour, for all the expressionless, uninterested one-worded replies Nayoung gave to the other members during their weekly “girl-talk” sessions, Nayoung was human too. Sejeong knew that Nayoung had a heart; a heart capable of giving extraordinary love, a heart capable of being shattered. 

And Sejeong knew, the latter had just happened. 

Sejeong kneeled down in front of Nayoung. Instead of saying anything, Sejeong simply wrapped her arms around the older girl, gently manoeuvring Nayoung’s head into the crook of her neck. Words weren’t what her unnie needed at this point in time, what Sejeong knew Nayoung needed was companionship. 

The pair stayed that way as the sun began to set, painting the dance studio a shade of caramel orange. Minutes ticked by as the sobs lessened. Sejeong looked down and caressed Nayoung’s cheek, her other hand rubbing the older girl’s back. 

“Nayoung unnie, what’s wrong?” Sejeong asked cautiously. 

Nayoung sighed and buried her face into Sejeong’s chest, staying silent for a good minute before saying softly “I’m not good enough Sejeong-ah…I’m not cut out to be the leader, I’m not cut out to be an idol…” 

Knew it. Sejeong chuckled and silently congratulated herself on her predictive skills. Watching all those hours of drama certainly paid off.

Nayoung looked up, confused. “What’s so funny… I look ugly now, don’t I….” 

Crap. Sejeong slapped herself mentally. Note to self, control emotions like Im Nayoung. 

“Ani ani… Yah Im Nayoung, how could you say such a thing? Many of the others look up to you, you know? You are what keeps us working efficiently and effectively as a group. You let us be the crazy people we are, yet you make sure we don’t step out of line. You’re always the last to wash up and the first to rise, and you always make sure we get our meals on time even when you yourself don’t. You’ve sacrificed so much for us unnie, and I dare say on behalf of the rest of the girls that no one else is better cut out to be our leader. Don’t overwork yourself unnie, anything in excess is bad. Take a step back and rest. Come, wash up and let’s go for some patbingsoo, ahrasso? My treat!” 

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

The older girl nodded, but began to nuzzle her head deeper into Sejeong’s chest. Sejeong blushed furiously and stammered “Yah… unniee… palli there’s no time we have to go now… before curfew!” 

“Let’s just stay like this, just for a little while more…” Nayoung softly added, as her eyelids fluttered shut and her lips curled into a soft smile. 

“Aish sincha sometimes I wonder who’s the unnie here” Sejeong smiled and ruffled Nayoung’s hazelnut brown hair slightly, and rested her chin on the top of Nayoung’s head. It was going to be a long night, she might as well make herself comfortable. 

“No matter what happens, no matter how tough life may get, I’ll always be here for you pabo-ya…” 

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

It was a sight to be seen. Even as night fell, passersby could have sworn the dance studio on the 3rd floor of YMC entertainment glowed with a strange, yet warm and comforting light.