'Why are you following me?' 
'I'm not following you.' he said
'Yeah right! I've been walking for almost 13minutes now, and you're still walking behind me! I thought you lived on the other side?' 
'I wanted fresh air so I'm walking...' 
'Yeah right!'
'I'm not following you... as I told you, I just wanted to walk....' 
'Did you really think that I'll believe that stupid excuse?'
'Yep! Surprisingly, you didnt.' 

what the hell! This guy is really pissing me off!

' I thought you're angry at me?' 

flashback

‘I can’t believe you did that to me!’
‘why are you so angry?’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me, right?'
‘SHUT UP! You don’t know anything about me!’ I shouted

end of flashback

Both of us stared into each others eyes, I was embarrass to what i've done but it wasnt big enough for him to get that angry
I looked away but he suddenly grabbed my arms

'Dont look away from me.'
huh?
'What are you talking about?'
he tightened his hold of my arms
'why cant you remember me?' he said with a sad look on his eyes
'ow! Let go!' I said
he was being weird
'I said dont look away from me... look only at me... dont leave me hanging here again'
What was he saying? I cant understand what he was trying to tell me
'Heechul'
'h-hangeng shi'
'Hee.... I love you.. dont you remember?'
'…'
'You dont really remember me?'
'uh... Hangeng shi... are you ok?' 
'Heechul ah.. please remember me! I can going on living with you not remembering me!'
What is he saying? I pushed him hard and ran away
'Heechul ah!'
he was running after me
I dont understand him and why is he telling me to remember him?
He caught me...
Then he suddenly kissed me
I know this feeling, it's familiar
I dont have my first kiss yet then why?
why is this kiss familiar?
Why am I crying?
Why am I hugging him?
Why am I needing him?
All this questions run through my mind
but I really wanna know is...
WHY AM I KISSING BACK?

I tried to push him away from me
but he held me tight 
then he embraced me... and whispered
'why? Heechul ah... Why cant you remember me?' 
why am I crying?
I dont know this person
we stayed silent for awhile 
then he tried to assist me in getting up
we walked to a near park
we sat down on the bench and stayed silent

I cried my eyes out while he was just staring at the sky
'Heechul ah... I think I should stay away from you'
what?
'Since you dont remember I think I should just leave it like that and get away from you'
I looked at him looking hurt...
why am I hurt to what he said?
He didnt look at me.. he kept looking up 
'Your father told me that you dont remember, I guess he was right.'
father? What's he got to do with this?
'I'm sorry I kissed you... I'm sorry I forced you...' 
he stood up and just walk away from me
leaving me alone...
my heart was pounding so fast I can even hear it
'HANNIE!' 
he looked at me shocked
what did I just call him? I covered my mouth with my hands
'what did you just call me?' he asked
uh...
'I dont know.. sorry.. uh...' I said while panicking
what the hell was that?
'I thought I heard you call me Hannie... you used to call me that... ' he smiled a little 
I'm just looking at him and when he said “ you used to” it echoed inside my head
'maybe I was just hallucinating...' he said and turned around and walk away again
NO! you werent! I said that but why dont I remember you? What happened to me? You look so hurt... What did I do to you? Tell me!


The next day, I couldnt get up from my bed. Leeteuk called me a hundred times already, I know he's really mad at me now... I said that I would finish the novel last night but

flashback

'Since you dont remember I think I should just leave it like that and get away from you'
'HANNIE!' 
he looked at me shocked
what did I just call him? I covered my mouth with my hands
'what did you just call me?' he asked
uh...
'I dont know.. sorry.. uh...' I said while panicking
what the hell was that?
'I thought I heard you call me Hannie... you used to call me that... ' he smiled a little 
I'm just looking at him and when he said “ you used to” it echoed inside my head
'maybe I was just hallucinating...' he said and turned around and walk away again

end of flashback

I went to my father's office after I showered

'DAD' I opened the door and caught Leeteuk secretly kissing my father
good thing my father was sleeping
'' Leeteuk panicked and tripped
'Leeteuk ah! I cant believe you finally snap' I shooked my head
he was blushing while looking down
'ah.. Heechul ah...'
my father woke up...
'uh.. sir...' Leeteuk said while stuttering
'oh? Leeteuk shi.. why are you here?' my father asked
he sat up and was curious what happened to his suit.. it was crinkled
Leeteuk kept blushing while finishing his work infront of my father

after a few minutes, he finally left
should I tell dad or not?
Hahahahaha

'dad'
'yes son? I havent seen you in years!'
'dad... you just saw me the other day... we even talked on the balcony remember?' 
'oh yeah... that was just days ago?'
what is he drunk?
'sorry son, I was so busy these days I dont even know what day it is... I havent even went home yet... Your mother is going to kill me I'm sure'
'yeah I can tell... dad you stink'
he started sniffing himself..... like a dog....

'so son.. why are you here?' he sat in his chair and looked at me straight in the eye
I didnt make eye contact... he'll know that I'm up to something
'why? Cant I just visit my father?' I walke to his book shelf to avoid making eye contact
'Heechul ah... are you really sticking to that excuse?' he stood up and walk towards me
'uhmm.. I guess I should just ask you directly....'
My father looked at me with confusion
'Dad... who is Hangeng shi?'
'Hangeng? He's my business friend.'
'no dad... he told me that you told him that I cant remember him. What's that all about?'
he sighed and went to the couch and sat there
he called me over to sit next to him

'son... sigh... I think I should tell.. but dont tell your mom ok?' he held y hand tightly
I knew it that there's something wrong... My dad and I even though we dont see each other, we never kept a secret to each other...
'ok' I replied hesitantly
'son.. Hangeng shi.. well you had a... what do I call it?... uhmm.. a special relationship with him...'
'What do you mean special? And how come I dont know anything about this?'
'sigh.... Son.. promise me you wont get shocked and do something irrational...' 
Why is he making me nervous?
'Heechul ah... 2 years ago, you had an accident... You were on your way to the airport...'
'Why was I going to the airport?'
'Well you were in China, you were with Hangeng that time.'
'WHY WAS I WITH HIM?'
'uh... son.. you really dont remember?'
'dad.. if I can remember would I be asking you?'
I stood up but my father pulled me back to the couch
'Heechul ah.. just sit will you?'
'dad.. continue...'
'Actually you went to China without your mother knowing. You only told me that you were going to China the day of your departure. The reason why you went there is because of Hangeng. You two were madly inlove with each other, but I told you that if you continue to see each other I cant have you as my son.'
'wh-what? Hangeng was my... and you.. and....'
I couldnt move... my head is hurting.. but my heart is hurting more....
'You chose to leave the family and surprised Hangeng with your arrival. And boy he was surprised... You told me that when you arrived at his house, he was in shock because it seems that he thought you left him already. You two were happy, Hangeng secretly met me and convinced me to accept you again to our family. He proved to me that he can make you happy.'
my father was smiling.. he patted my back and comforted me...
'dont cry.. it wasnt your fault.. I wasnt a good father to you...'
Crying? I didnt even notice that I was crying already
'Dad..'
he looked at me 
'Can you tell me how I got into an accident?'
'Are you sure? Dont you just wanna know the good memories first?' He kept insisting me that I cant take for now, but I told him to just tell me the whole story
'You lived there for two years, you actually learn chinese.. I was surprised that you got used to speaking chinese that when we met, the first sentence you told me was in chinese...'
'I learned chinese?' 
I didnt like chinese foods so I thought I dont like anything to do with chinese... but I actually learned it
He continued
'You worked there as a chef in a famous chinese restaurant. When I told you that I was visiting, you even prepared a full course meal for me and my business associates. You told me that Hangeng taught you how to cook, and decided to make that as your profession there.'
My father was smiling like a kid while reminiscing the memories on his own....
then he suddenly frowned
'Then you broke he news to us that you two decided to go Canada to get married. Your mother was in shock and fainted after a few minutes. I brought her to the hospital. Hangeng insisted that you two should go back here to visit your mother, but you were angry at your mother. You never talked to us again.'
I did that?
'I did that to you guys?'
thats impossible!
'Yeah, you and your mother never talked to each other again.'
'Then what? Did we got married?'
My father shook his head and sighed...
'Hangeng postponed it. He told me that you two started fighting after that, and for what I know, you two never fought like that. You got angry at him because he postponed it and he got angry because you wouldnt make up with you mother.' 
Hangeng.... he.. postponed it?.... for me?....
'The day Hangeng was supposed to come back here to visit your mother came, since you two had a fight he didnt tell you about his departure. But your close friend at work accidentally told you, so you went to the airport to catch Hangeng before he leaves but on the way you had an accident. Hangeng never got on the plane and called me after he reached the hospital. When I arrived there days later after your accident, Hangeng was by your side crying. It seems he didnt want to go home. I had to ask the security guards to pull him out of the room.'
'he...'
'He loved you so much'
'then why cant I remember him?' I was teary eyed and I tried not to look at dad so that he wouldnt notice
'You were in a comma for 5 weeks. When you woke up, the doctor said you have amnesia. You only recognized me and your mother. Hangeng was sad but he still visited you, but since your mother arrived she wouldnt let him see you. So I had to sneak him in during the night, although you were always sleeping whenever he visits you. He never complained. All he wanted is for me to update him about the things going on during your rehab and to see you whenever he has the chance. He decided to not introduce himself to you, for you to forget about him. It was sad actually.'
I cant believe this... why did he do that?
'If he really loved me then why did he let me go?'
why? Why did he leave me?
'When we brought you back home, he was actually outside the house watching over you. Your mother let him in while you were sleeping, and the three of us talked. He knelt before me that if he could still look after you even from afar. Your mother wasnt too happy about that. She placed a restraining order on him. Since then I've only talked to him on the phone. I was surprised that you still didnt know him when the two of you met at the party.'
'why was mother so mad at him?'
my father laughed a little and stood up
he walked to his desk and sat on the edge of the table
'Your mother is mad because she thinks he is influencing you to make bad decisions. She was actually fond of him when the two of you were still friends, but when you told us you were in love with him, she went ballistic! She told Hangeng that if he stays by your side forever, you would just be put into harm.'
'What did Hangeng say?'
'He agreed. The last time they met, Hangeng said his apologies to us for falling in love with you. Then he never showed his face in front of us.. well for me, i finally saw him again during the party. He purposely went to the party even uninvited just to thank me again for what i did years ago. I actually like him. And to think i was finally accepting him as your husband.'