B U S A N 

She wasn’t the type to cry easily. She just wasn’t.

But–

Somehow, it did happen.

And in public, nonetheless.

She was provoked, untill her robust walls she built up for years, crumbled down faster than ice cream in the sun.

It shocked her so much–

There wasn’t even an expression on her face. No scrunching the nose. No sad face. No sound.

The tears just escaped. It seemed like  a barrier constructed to hold back tons of heavy water, just broke.

The system she built so carefully. So incredibly carefully. Gone.

It left her speechless.

For Mina those particular tears represent something really important to her. A wake up call. Her wake up call. 

She was standing right outside of the theatre. A really crowded area. It was one busy night. A heavy drizzle hit the asphalt and the people around.

Mina could not care less if she made a fool of herself. And yet she also felt like a fish out of water. Especially softly crying right next to a queue of perhaps 20 people?

She moved her gaze straight forward. Across the street.

Hesitantly, Mina touched her right cheek with her fingertips. Wet. Yes, the tears escaped. So freely. Without shame. She couldn't control them, even if she tried.Then she was moving forward. She set the wheels in motion. She ran.

It didn’t matter if those were sad tears or happy tears. She was just so relieved to actually feel. To experience emotions. For quite some time she was on the lookout for something. Anything, to make her feel.

Her whole body shooked. It was such an unfamiliar feeling.

She took a really long breath. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Four seconds. Five seconds- 'till she reached her limit to exhale everything in one fast second. It was not easy. In fact it was exhausting, considering that she was running so utterly fast.

And she did it again.Inhaling and exhaling. And again, while trying to arrive fast on the street.

“S T O P THE CAR. STOP THE CAR GODDAMNIT,” she screamed with panic lacing her breathless voice.

She was sure she could be too late. But she had to try. All this time, doing absolutely nothing at home. For this circumstancial scenario though— she was far from prepared. Likely no soul she knew would be prepared.But she could be wrong.People astonish themselves every damn day. So why would she be the special case? Nothing in that moment could be a hindrance to her determination.

Still having those tears streaming down her face. She was soaked to her bone. Internally & externally, with that small amount of drizzle turning into heavy rain. She was sure that those were indeed tears of panic. Tears that consits of the fear she felt for somebody she didn’t know.

One glimpse to her right told her that the driver seemed to be doing unreasonably alright. "This ing head," Mina grumbled under her nearly non-existent breath.

But what was lying on the ground–

left her speechless. Her body jolted with electricity all the way down to her toes.

The little girl wasn’t the only one lying on the ground. There was a body of a young woman. Cradling the little girl. Protecting her with her own life.

It must’ve have happened when Mina was quite busy with her falling tears. That woman must’ve have acted on instinct.

Mina didn’t know if it was the mother or some stranger.

“Hey you! Hey," Mina whisper shouted and gently nudged her by the shoulder. And a moan full of agony echoed during the busy night. That was at least a good sign. She seemed to be conscious.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere? You shouldn’t move so much, ok?" Mina muttered full of concern.  

The driver seemed to be the devil himself, she didn’t would want to encounter, like never in her lifetime. The driver who possibly took a life, by being reckless. And maybe the rain, but still his fault. Obviously.

The accident happened, because of disturbed emotions, it seemed. Well, and the rain. 

The little girl, too distracted for having lost sight of her parents.

Mina made herself go out of the apartment. She was sure that nothing could make her feel alive in her own four walls, since everything looked the same. Everyday. There wasn’t anything left that could make her excited anymore. Not the internet. Not the same books she read in her childhood or even those, she read in school. She looked for something that made her leave her comfortbale bed with her laptop on her lap. She didn’t want to react to other people’s stories. She did want to read an adventure of some girl at her own age, who had all these amazing things happening to her. Mina couldn't  watch any tv series anymore. She just couldn't. The same things happen to her. It's such a mundane life she lead. And yet other people, kids in particular would do anything to be in her spot right now.

 "First-world-problems," was all Mina could bring about.

She was tired.From doing nothing.  She didn’t want to consume anymore. She didn’t want to just watch. She wanted to be involved. She needed to be involved. Not being safe in her day-to-day life. It was just so sad and boring. Unquestionably.

So she made herself promise to go on an adventure. Even when it meant to just go out for two hours max. —Just going out of the house and do simple things, like going to the theatre. 

Well she just did that and the performance regrettably was dreary to her eyes. She noticed a lot of things then.

How she didn’t really felt the need to laugh. Period. When the group of old men in the same row laughed out loud at a silly scene of an poor attempt of slapstick humour, she knew she was in the wrong place and decided to leave. 

Even though it seemed a bit rude– but Mina was organized enough to sit at the end of the row to not disturb anyone and if needed, to eventually being able to make a quick escape. (Which did happen. Mina definitely knows herself.)

To make herself feel a little bit better on her way out she sang a song¹ under her breath. She always did that when she was either anxious or disappointed in reality.

But she wasn’t satisfied. Far from it. It itched. It itched for adventure under her skin. She wanted to become reckless just for the chance of a fresh perspective. A chance of being thrown into cold water.

So she decided to stay. Right outside the theatre. And damn it was raining. It definitely was just drizzling on her way here. She took her umbrella out, but decided to not open it just yet and stand under the roof instead to catch some fresh air, she needed so much. Even though it was in the literal sense. But she didn’t mind it one bit.

Luckily the people, young and old all were prepared like her. They were like her. Having their weapons at hand against the weather. Well they were in the rainy season of April. “It definitely would be unusual for people to not have an umbrella with them," Mina absorbed in thought.

She heard someone crying, a child not older than six she assumed. A little girl, alone in the rain crossing the street. Mina was confused. Why would such a young kid be out at around 8 pm, crying in the rain. Alone. She must have lost her parents somewhere.

Mina had a view of the whole scene. Again, she was just a person who had just a watchful eye but wasn’t involved.  So she decided to take action and watch out for the parents. For someone who was looking for their child. Maybe a young man in his late 20s or early 30s looking out for his little girl with panic written all over his face. But no, there was no  father who was desperately looking for her. And a panic stricken mother? Well, there were some onlookers who were watching the scene just like Mina.

“,” Mina had to do something–

And then it happened so fast.

It happened. Her gaze followed the unpleasent sight of a body hitting a car. She was watching the scene carefully.

The child was lying on the street—

Or so she thought at the beginning.

The song Mina sings: Houses – The Beauty Surrounds

⇒  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTdopxNeuaU