PROLOGUE

Taekwoon didn’t know how long they’ve been running, all he knew was that they had to run. Years have passed without incident, but still, he couldn’t erase the gut feeling that something was going to happen. He wasn’t one to rely on feeling alone, but he knew, somehow, he knew that the moment he lets go, the shadows were going to eat him. He knew that he would be the first one on their lists. He was a murderer after all. Killing was second nature to him. He could kill with no remorse.

It would be a lie to say that through the years of running, Taekwoon hasn’t killed. No. He has killed on his own terms, his own decisions. It wasn’t because he wanted to, but because he had to in order to protect. Of course, and although he’d never admit it, Taekwoon enjoyed every bit of it. The rush it gave him compared to nothing. It was such a rush that Taekwoon wondered if he truly was a monster. But this wasn’t the time to wonder on useless things. Survival was and is the number one thing on Taekwoon’s mind, especially now that he was no longer alone.

Taekwoon looks at the sleeping male beside him. The boy had grown thin and haggard, his eyes had bags under them and a thin line ran across the boy’s cheek. Seeing it still brought pain to Taekwoon’s heart. It was his fault, after all. He had lost control and in return, had cut the boy’s cheek. It wasn’t deep, but it was deep enough to cause a scar, a thin reminder of Taekwoon’s promise to himself to never allow the younger to see him lose control again. He’d never hurt the boy he swore to protect, even if it costs him his life.

They had aged over the years. Taekwoon was already twenty-seven years old and although he no longer kept track of birthdays, he made sure to remember how old the two of them were. It was a way for him to remember how long it has been; eight years. The years seemed long, almost unending. Having to look out for every corner surely took a toll on them both. It had been years as well, since they last saw any of the other boys. The last contact they had was with Wonshik who was almost unrecognizable with his thin frame, pale face and sunken eyes. The incident had greatly taken its toll on him, both mentally and physically. He had been happy when they met, and although brief, Taekwoon saw the shadow of what used to be Wonshik. After that, they went their separate ways, each promising to take care. That was 4 years ago.

Taekwoon often wondered what had become of the boys. He knew that they were bound to survive, one way or another but he still wondered about their wellbeing. Were they safe? He sure hope they were. Of course, Taekwoon was in no position to worry about the boys. They were in a life-and-death situation as well, after all. But still, a tiny bit of him wondered. A tiny bit silently prayed.

They were headed north, he had told the boys in a note he left where he knew only they would find if ever they passed by that area. Wonshik had mentioned seeing it when he and Hongbin were in the area, which was why he was able to meet up with them. Although the two of them started out together, Wonshik soon decided to go separately since he needed time to himself.

Nobody knew what had happened to Wonshik, nobody except Hongbin and in an unspoken promise to the boy, Hongbin vowed to never speak of the incident. Taekwoon could only guess what had happened that night, but he didn’t want to. It was not in his position to pry. Deep inside, maybe he knew, but he kept that feeling bottled up and hidden somewhere he’d never look into again.

Over the years, Taekwoon has picked up the habit of writing which was why he kept a small journal and a lead pencil with him, halfway through their escape. The younger boy wasn’t aware of this, of course, and Taekwoon planned to keep it that way. His journal acted as a sort of escape for Taekwoon, a medium in which he could pour out his thoughts without anyone judging him for it – not that the younger would, but still. He used to confide these things with Hakyeon, his same-aged friend who understood him even without him speaking but after their escape and them separating, he had to find a different outlet.

In his journal were different things. Some were sort of diary entries describing in detail what had happened to them on that day. Some were letters with no recipients. They were simply silent promises he had drilled into his mind and in a way could be thought of as love letters. Love letters in which he talks about his hatred towards his father who thought nothing but himself and to the administration who had used them in their sick plans, and maybe they were love letters, in a twisted way. 

There was one letter, one that was actually a love letter. In it, he voiced the feelings he had for the younger, feelings he had never expressed and in the chance that something happens to him, at least he could be rest assured that one way or another, he had made his feelings known to the younger.  It didn’t matter to him whether or not he returned his feelings. It didn’t matter. He was content in being with him and protecting him. After all, in this situation, matters of the heart would only slow them down.  He had to focus, even if it meant he had to swallow down the growing feelings he had for the younger.

Taekwoon once again looks at the sleeping male beside him. He lightly brushes a strand of hair that was out of place. The younger was sound asleep and lightly snoring. The sound of his soft and even breathing calms Taekwoon. It had taken the younger months before being able to sleep properly. He used to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and clawing at his arms so much that there were now tiny scars in his arms. His nightmares used to eat him up and although he wouldn’t tell Taekwoon about them, the elder could only wonder.

He was such a saint, so pure that he only saw the good in people; in Taekwoon. Which was why he had to keep him safe. He had to protect him. He had to shield him from the shadows that lurked in the corners, the shadows that were waiting for them to slip. He had to, because whether he’d admit it or not, Jaehwan was the only thing keeping Taekwoon from succumbing to the darkness within him.

yay! first chapter! but only a prologue. so basically, this is slightly, in a way, in taekwoon's pov. i won't be doing one for all of them. i just decided to use taekwoon as the opening since he was the first character introduced in bp. so anyway, comments are greatly appreciated.