“Are you sure about this?” Eyes laced with desperation and anguish grip mine, and challenge the already miniscule faith residing within me.

 

Although Sunny doesn’t verbally utter the words, I clearly understand the message she’s trying to convey.

 

‘If you want to back out, it's now or never’, are the words dripping out of her eyes. She still believes that there is another way. Or rather, she’s still unwilling to accept it has come to this.

 

However, I know there is no other way.

 

"I'm sure.” I shut my lips in a stiff line. There is no backing out now.

 

My guts wring at the ominous shadow lying over us. However confident I may seem, I know the odds are bleak. Everything lies in my hands, and if I don’t do good… I don’t even want to think of the outcome.

 

A desolate sigh leaves Sunny’s defeated stance. She then turns her gaze away and focuses on the wide array of buttons waiting for their command.

 

I close my eyes, inhale deeply, and feel the adrenaline rush through my veins preparing me for the battlefield I’m about to enter.

 

"Remember everything I told you." Sunny’s soft voice resonates through the hot, claustrophobic room acting as our safe haven.

 

Her usually carefree and chirpy voice is weighted down by heart wrenching worry, and I realize how much I miss my best friend. My carefree, fun and bright sunshine. I can’t let her stay like this, I can’t let this dark fog continue suffocating us like this.

 

For you, Sunny… I enforce my will with hope of a brighter future.

 

I am going to fix this.

 

I open my eyes, will myself to steal one last glance at my best friend, and find a small wave of strength rush through me; she’s smiling. Sunny’s smiling, not brightly, rather a weak smile. However, she has faith in me, and that is enough.

 

My posture straightens with new force.

 

"Good luck." She whispers.

 

I nod. There’s no time for weakness.

 

And then she does it: pushes the big red button and ejects me into the darkness of my fears.

 

---

 

 

I am thrown away.

 

Catapulted into a storm; a wild and brutal twister that effortlessly grabs me and me into its merciless power. Ravaging wind wrecks me and tosses me around in a furious turmoil as if I’m nothing but a thin, weightless stick. I feel my arms and legs stretch beyond their lengths, and the pain unbearably overwhelms me. I scream from the depth of my lungs. 

 

What is this?!

 

My eyes dash fiercely to every direction possible. What kind of furious hell have I entered?!

 

Blinding lightning flash around me and pierces through the dense grey clouds of the wild tornado I’m in. With every flash, the bottomless, terrifying abyss reveals itself to me, and torments me with the knowledge that there is where I’m headed: a merciless center that will surely tear me apart.

 

What have I done?! I should have listened to Sunny! I should have–

 

I scream in desperation. Scream till my lungs are dried out. Then I clench my teeth, try to endure the torture of my limbs being pulled to their limits, while salty tears ceaselessly spill out of my eyes.

 

Why am I so stupid? Why do I always believe so much in myself? Why don’t I ever listen to anyone but myself? I condemn myself as I miserably regret my decision of stepping up to be a hero that I've never been.

 

The thunder’s annihilating force resonates in deafening rumbles sending paralyzing waves through me. The longer I’m in the storm, the more I acknowledge: I am nothing. I am nothing but a weak little human. I’m going to save everyone? What a sick joke.

 

I’m terrified.

 

Again, I want to scream. However, this time, when I try, not even a meek sound leaves my mouth. Then a realization hits me… I can't feel any pain in my limbs anymore.

 

Although that should be a good thing, a horrific feeling rushes through me. Something is terribly wrong. I can feel it.

 

With my heart furiously pounding, I try to move around, desperately try to move my arms and legs. However, nothing. I feel nothing.

 

I don’t dare. I don’t want to. But, I have to. I have to look down and see what’s going on. Reluctantly, or more like scared less, I force myself to look down. And the sight I am met with… I want to puke.

 

My legs are gone!

 

To my horror, I realize I am dissipating. Little by little, my body is turning to dust; every atom leaving me and joining a carefree glowing dust cloud, saying:

 

‘Bye, Taeyeon! It was nice having to known you, but now we’re going to spend our presence in a more deserving place’.

 

Although I’m most certain of the faith of my arms, I still bring them up – that is, what’s left of them. My fingers and hands are gone. All that’s left is a stub of an arm, which is steadily dissolving and joining the glowing dust cloud leaving me.

 

What’s happening?! Why am I disappearing?!

 

I feel completely helpless. I am utterly regretting my decision. All I want is to return to the world I know. Return to the time where my Sunny is a happy, annoying butterfly, and my only worry in the world is whether or not I will get to relax as much as I want.

 

The storm around me continues at full strength. There is nothing I can do but excruciatingly wait until I turn into nothing. What will happen after that, I have no idea.

 

You were right, Sunny. I should have listened to you…

 

Soon, I am nothing but a tiny head flying round and round the vicious tornado. My head feels oddly warm as I feel my cheeks fading, the scalp of my head turning lighter and lighter. Then, my vision starts blurring. It’s kind of funny, the last image I’ll ever see is a furious storm wanting nothing but to rip me apart. Yet I’m still clinging to it. I’m holding onto the image as if my life depends on it – maybe it does. I’d rather see a vicious storm than nothing…

 

However, I have no chance. My vision leaves. Everything turns… blank. I can’t tell anymore. There is no color. There is no rumble from a vicious storm. There is nothing.

 

…Am I dead?

 

The absolute silence surrounding me terrifies me more than the vicious hell I was in. At least in the storm I was still a being, there was still a tiny chance for me. However, now…

 

I have lost. I have failed everyone.

 

I feel myself losing grip of everything. My sense of time is fading. There is nothing for me to do anymore. My mind feels numb, empty.

 

Drowsy…  I want to sleep...

 

"Fight it, Taeyeon..." A distant voice echoes through the empty realm of nothing.

 

What was that? A spark within me ignites.

 

“Taeyeon…” The whisper resonates within my numb mind. "You have to fight it..."

 

A strange wave of energy rushes within me, and suddenly I realize sleep is my enemy. My natural instincts of survival awaken and with my newfound energy, I try to shout:

 

‘Help me!’

 

However, it’s a bit hard for something that is nothing to make a noise…

 

“Taeyeon…” It continues to call for me.

 

Whoever or whatever owns the voice, I have no idea. However, I find myself desperately clinging to it, desperately praying for it to find me and save me from this horrendous nightmare.

 

Please find me...

 

“Follow my voice…” The voice is transcendent, unearthly and like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It sounds powerful, and I get the feeling I should follow its command… and right now, there’s nothing more I want to do.

 

I try to move. Try to make the slightest movement in this weird state of nothing that I am in. However, how is something that is nothing supposed to move around? How can I, who can’t even feel or speak or see, follow the command of the voice? I can’t even comprehend how I am able to hear it…  

 

“You’re almost here…”

 

I’m almost here? Where? What? I have moved?

 

“Just a little bit more…”

 

I am sure the owner is some divine creature that I’m probably not worthy of even sensing. However, I’m shameless. I don’t care. All I can focus on is the savior calling for me.

 

“Tae…” This time the voice sounds much closer. So close, in fact, I can swear it’s right in front of me.

 

Have I followed it? Have I finally reached it? ...How is that even possible?

 

“You’re here…” The powerful voice has turned mild. A hint of affection lurks in it, and suddenly a strange feeling of warmth surrounds me.

 

“Open your eyes.” It softly urges me.

 

I have materialized. I’m sure of it, as I can feel the rush of blood through my restless veins. She (my gut is telling me the being is a woman) is standing in front of me, waiting for me to open my eyes. A powerful, divine being with an oddly transfixing voice.

 

I feel the familiar –and also seldom– rushed beating of my heart. I feel ...nervous.

 

Why? Why am I suddenly timid?

 

“Don’t be afraid, you’re not in the storm anymore…” The being seems aware of my hesitance.

 

I find the curiosity inside me peeking through the roof. Who is she? What does she look like? And how does she know who I am?

 

The urge to see my savior conquers my sudden timidness.

 

Slowly I squint my eyes open. Little by little, white light engulfs me, and for a moment I am blinded by brightness.

 

White, white, white, everything is so white… Am I in heaven?

 

Then, as my eyes slowly adjust to the brightness, I realize there is a shadow in front of me. Steadily the shadow focuses, and after a few seconds it finally reveals its true form.

 

Unconsciously, I gulp.

 

The divine being is a woman. A breathtaking, magnificent woman with huge, impressive wings springing out of her shoulders, and gloriously reaching down the length of her legs.

 

I am stupefied.

 

“Hi.” She smiles brightly, radiating rays of kindness and warmth only possessed by a true angel.

 

I find myself mute. Not because I lack a mouth, but because I realize I’m standing in front of the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen.

 

“You’re finally here…” The angel whispers emotionally, her face tearing up in joy.

 

I am dazed. In her eyes, I see so much emotion. Affection, as if she’s been missing me, as if she’s been waiting for me, waiting for someone she cares about deeply… And oddly, I feel a strange pull towards her as well... Who is she?

 

“I didn’t think I’d ever get to meet you like this…” She looks intently at me, her warm hand gently cupping my cheek.

 

My cheeks heat up, my heart accelerates, and I feel transfixed like never before.

 

Her bottomless, bright-brown eyes dig deep into mine. Every unnecessary thought is expelled from my head.

 

I feel myself gravitating towards her. I want to hold her. I want to relish in her warmth. It’s like my entity has been secretly longing for her my entire life, and now that she’s finally in front of me, I just want to embrace her and never let go. …What is this feeling?

 

However, the warmth is soon gone as she suddenly pulls her hand away and breaks our gaze.

 

“I’m sorry…” She utters.

 

My trance is broken, and immediately a wave of disappointment hits my body by the loss of contact. Why did she pull away?

 

“I’m probably scaring you…” Her apologetic eyes glance to my bewildered ones.

 

Instantly, I want to reject her fear.

 

"You're not scaring me." The words can’t leave my mouth faster.

 

However weird it is, I’m not scared of her. Instead, I feel safer than I’ve ever felt the last years of my life. Although, the secureness she radiates might not be so strange, considering she did save me from hell…

 

By my instant reply, a small smile tugs on her face and she seems relieved.

 

"You're cute..." Her eyes glisten with affection, and it makes a warm, numbing feeling flow through my chest. My lips involuntarily tug up to mirror the smile in front of me.

 

For another moment, we just stand there, gazing into each other’s eyes. What’s going on inside the head of the angel, I have no idea. However, I feel content as never before.

 

But then, to my surprise, the smile on the angel’s face fades, and is replaced with grave eyes and a stiff mouth. Immediately, my hazed mind focuses. What happened? Why is she so serious?

 

“Taeyeon… You need to know who I am.” She carefully begins.

 

My whole attention is on her. There is nothing more that I want. I want to know who she is. I need to know.

 

“This might be hard to believe, but I’ve actually watched over you ever since you were born…” She tells me, observing me with her powerful eyes, seemingly expecting shock or some other kind of reaction in my face.

 

However, I find myself absorbing every word with ease.

 

She has watched over me ever since I was born… That explains the weird connection I feel for her.

 

Receiving no reaction from me, she continues,

 

“I’m kind of like your guardian angel…”

 

Guardian angel...

 

She's my guardian angel. Of course she is. It finally makes sense. The way she knew my name. The way she saved me from the worst nightmare I’ve ever experienced. The way her eyes scream of affection...

 

“I hope I don’t scare you, I only want to help you.” She continues.

 

I stare at her. Instead of scared, I feel gratitude. I'm happy to know she's my guardian angel. I'm happy to know she's not just some random stranger, that we actually have a bond.

 

“My name is Tiffany, and I am one of the seven gatekeepers.” She introduces herself.

 

One of the seven gatekeepers... Sounds like an important title that I for a reason should recognize. However, I don’t. I have no idea what she is talking about.

 

Seriousness is surrounding us. Tiffany is looking expectant at me, and I get a feeling that there is something important that I should remember. However, there is only one thing roaming my mind. Tiffany. What a beautiful name.

 

“…Are you okay?” I am pulled out of my mindless gawking by Tiffany’s worried voice.

 

She looks at me with wary eyes, and I realize I have been mute and staring too much. My cheeks once again heat up, however this time in embarrassment.

 

“Yes, I’m fine…” I manage to say, and then smile awkwardly. “It’s just a lot to take in…” I try to excuse myself.

 

I am here for a reason, and Tiffany seems to be expecting something from me. However, embarrassingly I have forgotten. Hopefully, she will tell me…

 

Her worried eyes linger for another second, and I find myself praying she can’t read minds. How would she react if she knew I have forgotten my mission? That I, the insignificant little human, can’t focus on anything but her beauty. I should be ashamed of myself...

 

However, to my luck, it seems Tiffany can’t read minds, as her worried eyes soften and her red lips stretch out into a sweet smile. She seems relieved that I’m fine, and I unconsciously relax as well by her smile.

 

“I know this is a lot to take in, but we don’t really have much time…” She continues.

 

I am definitely supposed to do something. But, what?

 

“Even though I have always wanted to see you like this, to be able to talk to you… You still shouldn’t be here…” She grabs my attention with her big, magnetizing eyes. “You can't stay here for too long. It's dangerous...”

 

It’s dangerous… How can it be dangerous here? This is heaven. I am puzzled.

 

She grabs my hand and holds it tightly between her own. Her eyes capture mine, and the turmoil of her conflicting emotions are finally displayed to me. I see love so overwhelming I can’t believe it’s directed to me. I see power, so strong and confident, there is no doubt Tiffany is supreme. Yet I see worry and anxiousness, as if the faith of the world is tip-toing on thin ice, like we are facing doom.

 

Then Tiffany anxiously looks to her sides, and her distress is now obvious. She's scared of something, and I realize I should be too. However, I'm not. It must be the effect of being with my guardian angel...

 

“Tae… You need to focus. You need to do what you came here for.” Tiffany looks firmly into my eyes.

 

I need to focus… I need to focus. What is it that I need to focus on, Tiffany?

 

My angel reaches for something in the pocket of the white dress she’s wearing. She then presents to me a white, glowing ball in the palm of her hand.

 

“Take this,” She says. “It’s what you need, and it will also protect you. But whatever you do, don’t ever let go of it.”

 

She scrutinizes me, making sure that I understand the magnitude of the importance of the ball.

 

“Okay.” I agree.

 

“It will guide you through the darkness…” She continues, and then motions for me to take the ball out of her hand.

 

I finally know the object of my mission. It’s this ball. It was always this tiny ball. Funny how the faith of the world can depend on something so small.

 

I look up from the ball and into her beautiful yet serious eyes. She’s waiting for me to take it. However, I find myself reluctant. I know that when I take it, I'll have to leave...

 

Tiffany sees my reluctance, and a tiny, understanding smile grows on her face.

 

“Take it.” Her soft voice, along with her eyes order me. And I know, I have to take it...

 

Hesitantly, I put my hand on top of hers. I grasp for the ball. However, before taking it, I linger on the warmth emanating from her hand.

 

Do I really have to save the world? Can't I just stay here forever?

 

“Tae…” She seems to hear my thoughts as she softly utters my name.

 

Looking into her eyes, I can see she is sharing my dilemma.

 

I find the question ‘Am I ever going to see you again?’ painfully repeating itself in my head.

 

Her magnificent eyes gaze into mine. We stand there, staring at each other for I don’t know how long, and I feel this pull between us, this magnet dragging me towards her. I just want to embrace her, indulge in her and feel her warmth.

 

It’s crazy how I can be this selfish at a time like this.

 

“You have to go.” She whispers.

 

Her eyes linger on mine, the struggle clearly displayed in them.

 

Then she does something that turns my heart frantic.

 

She carefully leans in, delicately erasing the space between us, and comes to a rest merely inches apart from my face. Her big eyes gaze into mine, her warm breath tickles my lips, and my heart races up to my throat.

 

Then her deep gaze falters down to my lips, and my whole entity is on edge, anticipating. When she slowly erases the last residing space between us and unite our lips, I momentarily forget how to breathe. Closing my eyes, I dwell in the overwhelming senses engulfing me.

 

I know I am ruined. Ruined of ever having a chance to love a normal human being, because I know nothing will ever make me feel as good as Tiffany. However, I don't care. All I want is Tiffany. I want to stay. I don't want to return. My inevitable selfishness is forcefully making its reappearance.

 

Reluctantly breaking our kiss, Tiffany once again whispers,

 

"You have to go..."

 

However, all my care for anyone else has disappeared.

 

"I don't want to."

 

"We'll see each other again, Tae..." A sad smile rests on Tiffany's face. "But now, you have to save the ones you care about."

 

"I only care about you."

 

Tiffany holds my hand, the sad smile ever-present on her face. "If you care about me, then return to your world. When it's time, we'll meet again."

 

She then releases my hand and gives me the ball.

 

“I believe in you.” She whispers. "Now, return to your friends..."

 

Although I want to stay, Tiffany is right. I have to return.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m always with you…” Tiffany reassures me with a sweet smile.

 

I feel an overwhelming sadness wrap around me. I will never see my angel again. I feel my heart breaking.

 

However, I have to go.

 

Tiffany straightens her back, smiles at me one last time and then does a strange hand gesture. Before I know it, clouds appear from nowhere and wrap around me. They grab me and throw me back into the tornado, back to the painful hell I came from. Slowly dissipating from my sight, Tiffany waves me goodbye with a soft smile.

 

“We’ll meet again.” Her whisper amazingly reaches my ears.

 

We'll meet again... It makes me smile. I’m going to see her again. That’s the last thought I have before I once again turn into nothing and float around as an entity with no substance.

 

What do I do now? How do I return? Where am I even returning to?

 

…Who am I?

 

 

 

 

 

“Taeyeon!”

 

…That’s my name, right?

 

“Wake up!”

 

I feel a violent shaking. What’s happening?

 

“Can you hear me?” A voice keeps intruding my space.

 

It’s starting to irritate me.

 

“Mmh…” I grumble.

 

Then I realize I’m cold, and I can feel my fingers. I’ve materialized!

 

 I open my eyes. Slowly.

 

“Taeng!”

 

When I can finally see, I am met with a bear-tight hug squeezing the air out of my lungs.

 

“You’re okay!” The person who is hugging me relishes.  

 

“Of course, I am…” I mumble.

 

I look at my surroundings and recognize the furniture, walls and pictures. It all comes back to me. I’m Kim Taeyeon. 26 and unemployed. Smooching off my best friend, Sunny, and daydreaming of a life where money is no problem.

 

“You really had me worried! You’ve been passed out for a whole day now! I was afraid you wouldn’t wake up!” Sunny reprimands me as she keeps hugging me tight.

 

“I can’t breathe…” I barely manage to utter.

 

When she realizes what I said, she finally releases me.

 

I gasp dramatically for air and Sunny watches me with horrified eyes. For some reason, I can’t help but find her expression funny, and even though I try hard not to, I end up laughing wholeheartedly.

 

Sunny exclaims unbelievingly and slaps my shoulder in annoyance.

 

“This is the thanks I get?! You have no idea how worried I was! I even looked up everything on internet, trying to find out if it’s dangerous to sleep for too long!” Sunny crosses her arms in disbelief and then rises up, all hint of worry gone. “You’re such a lazy !”

 

She leaves me alone in my room. I feel kind of sorry for making her worried, however, I don’t really care that much either. I rise up from the bed and stretch my arms high in the air.

 

I had such a weird dream… It was so vivid... so real. However, I have already forgotten it.

 

I walk over to the bathroom and splash my face with water. What did I dream about? I just have this distant memory of some girl. I don’t know why, but I really wish I could remember her face…

 

Looking at my disheveled reflection in the mirror above the sink, I huff in disbelief at how worried Sunny was. It’s normal to sleep. So what if I slept a couple of hours longer than I normally do? That girl is always so dramatic…

 

Lost in my thoughts, I am suddenly dragged back to reality as I feel something very hot in my pajama pocket. Weird... I can’t remember putting anything in my pocket.

 

Reaching for that something in my pocket, I find it to be a round object. Taking it out, my eyes widen as I’m suddenly holding a bright, glowing ball. It’s no normal ball. There seems to be clouds floating around inside it, and suddenly I get this déjà vu feeling. I have seen this before…

 

Then I am overwhelmed with shock when it suddenly flashes a light so bright that I’m momentarily blinded. When the light subsides, a woman reveals herself behind me. I can see her reflection in the mirror in front of me. She’s wearing this big, bright grin that I know I’ve seen before.

 

“Hi, Tae.” She greets me.

 

Then everything hits me. My memories return, my true identity returns –I’m not just any normal girl!– …and my mission returns.

 

…

 

Whatever you do, don’t let her fool you! Sunny’s last warning resonates in my head. She will probably try to convince you she’s an angel or something like that, but don’t believe her! Don’t believe anything you see there…

 

, , …

 

And most importantly, don’t look into her eyes! She will spellbind you, and then all hope is lost…

 

I suddenly remember how Sunny didn’t ask me about the mission when I woke up. She has forgotten. It must have already started…

 

Oh no… I have screwed up so bad.

 

 I turn around to face her.

 

“Thanks for releasing me.” Tiffany steps forward and cups my cheek gently.

 

She smiles her beautiful smile. However, I finally know who she is, and I know that smile holds no good will.

 

“What’s wrong, Tae? Aren’t you happy to see me?” She fakes a perplexed expression, but soon after grins brightly again.

 

I’m frozen in horror.

 

Oh , oh , oh …

 

“I’m proud of you, Tae. You did really well.” She praises me, leans down and pecks my lips.

 

I know it’s wrong. I know it’s horrible of me, but butterflies erupt inside me by her praise …and especially by her lips. I gaze into her eyes… They are so beautiful…

 

I can’t look away from her.

 

“You’re so cute.” Tiffany grins and lightly pokes my cheek with her finger.

 

“Now come on, let’s explore this wonderful new world.” She announces excitedly, before turning around and gracefully heading out of the bathroom.

 

I only stare with awe at the superiority she emanates. Her posture is so poised, and her feet stride so confidently and rightfully on the territory she is already claiming hers.

 

Before she reaches the door of my room, she turns around for a second and looks at me with amused eyes.

 

“Are you just going to keep staring at me, or are you going to join me and have some fun?” She winks, and then holds out her hand for me.

 

My insides are immediately thrown into chaos by her mischievous smile. I know I have failed my mission. I know I have unleashed a merciless wrath upon our world and doomed us all… but I find myself… not caring.

 

There is only one thing I want.

 

I sprint forward and grab onto the one and only hand I want to hold for eternity.

 

 “I’m with you.” I smile at her. Smile with adoration at my queen.

 

She grins back at me, pleased with my decision.

 

“Thanks, Taetae.” Her eyes form gorgeous half-moon crescents, making my heart flutter.

 

Dazzled, I walk out of my room, hand in hand with Tiffany.

 

…The devil who is going to make the world burn in an endless, merciless inferno.