There was a quiet knock on the door, disturbing Wonshik’s light slumber as his head lifts with a start from the cradle of arms it was rested in. “Yeah?” He blurted out to whoever knocked on the door of his small studio. The door cracked open and Hakyeon’s head peeked in. He looked concerned when he saw Wonshik and he knew why; he looked like . He felt like . He had not slept properly for three days, trying to work out his newest project. It didn’t want to work with him, the project, refused his effort to complete it. He was stuck. And it was about to drive him nuts.

“Are you okay?” Hakyeon asked him as he stepped into the studio and grabbed the second chair. Wonshik wasn’t, but why would he concern Hakyeon with that. Hakyeon had enough to deal with on his own. So he lied. “Yeah, just tired.”

He was never a good liar, Hakyeon was an excellent detector of lies; a deadly combination. Hakyeon’s brows knit together and Wonshik knew immediately he was busted and felt guilty. The older only wanted them to be honest with him. To come to him with their troubles and worries. But Wonshik didn’t want to add to the burden with his self-inflicted troubles.

Hakyeon didn’t comment on his lie. Hakyeon had already read his guilt on his face. He knew the answer to whatever comment he could have. He somehow always knew with Wonshik. Everything.

Guilt eating at him; he shifted the focus.

“Did you finish packing?” He asked Hakyeon.

“Yeah.” Hakyeon looked sad when he answers. Like he doesn’t want to go.

“How long will you stay this time?” Wonshik asked softly. He didn’t want him to go either. Their apartment felt empty without him there.

“A month, maybe.” Hakyeon looked at the floor as he said it, voice a little weak.

Wonshik’s heart clenched painfully, surprising him. An entire month without seeing him. He didn’t like the thought of that. Why did he have to be away for so long? Didn’t he like it here? With them?

“Why don’t you come with me? Just for a day. You could need the fresh air.” Hakyeon asked then, looking at Wonshik again. His eyes are hopeful. Wonshik’s heart skipped. Like a hiccup. “I think you need to get your head out of this room.”

Wonshik thought hard about it for about two minutes before agreeing. Hakyeon’s face lit up like a torch, a wide, beautiful smile, and Wonshik’s head felt numb.

The next day they boarded the train to Hakyeon’s hometown early in the morning. Wonshik had slept for 10 hours. The moment the train started moving his head fell onto Hakyeon’s shoulder and he slept for 4 more.

“Wonshik, wake up.” Hakyeon nudged his own shoulder so Wonshik’s head slid off.

“Hm?”

“We’re getting off.”

“Already?”

A breathy chuckle. “Yeah.”

They’re the only people getting off at the station. A long concrete platform accompanied with a small hut and a sign telling them where they are. The air was so fresh Wonshik’s head seemed to clear immediately. He shot his arms out, stretching them as far as he could, and twirled slowly with his eyes closed, breathing in deeply. The air filled his lungs and he felt like he was being cleansed. It felt like he was still sleeping. Like he had stepped into a dream. It was that surreal to him to be there; the sun high on the sky but the breeze kept them from feeling too hot, his mind still hazy from sleeping and there was only them there. Only him and Hakyeon.

When he stopped turning and opened his eyes he saw Hakyeon watching him with a fond smile on his face, cheeks blushed and eyes shining. Like he was the most beautiful thing. When in reality, Hakyeon was.

They walked along a worn down asphalt road surrounded by trees and open fields and the occasional farmhouse, only the amount of cars he could count on his hands passing them, for about twenty minutes before turning onto a dirt road leading up to a beautiful, modern house surrounded by a beautiful garden framed with a stone wall.

The house was Hakyeon’s pride. A gift to his family, made possible by his own earnings. He even took part in the building. Up until then Wonshik had only seen pictures of it, proudly shown to him by a very enthusiastic Hakyeon, but when he saw it with his own eyes it felt like it finally did Hakyeon’s pride justice. It really looked like a perfect home. Wonshik felt a pride grow within himself as well, and his arm found his friend’s shoulders and he squeezed him hard into his own body. “The house is perfect.” He told him fondly and Hakyeon beamed, ears reddened cutely.

They walked into the garden and to the entrance like that; Wonshik’s arm draped around the older’s shoulder comfortably. Hakyeon didn’t even knock the door and just entered, the door unlocked, and shouted out into the home he had created. “I’m home!”

Something about it made something stir within Wonshik. Something he could never explain.

Soon they were attacked by two nephews Wonshik already knew well after their several visits in Seoul. “Uncle Yeon!” They squealed and leaped into their smiling and laughing uncle’s arms, letting him lift them up high and making them laugh loudly, cheering happily. Wonshik felt himself being affected, his lungs pressing out some breathy chuckles as well and the muscles around his mouth twitching into a grin. He always envied how happy Hakyeon and Taekwoon seemed with their nephews, but seeing Hakyeon with his at that moment gave him the same joy.

It seemed as if the joy just settled in him permanently as he watched Hakyeon with his family. They had meals together, everyone nagging and talking loudly – a complete opposite environment than he was used to in his own family, where they had this comfortable silence going on – kids everywhere, sisters and brother’s in law’s… it was bustling with life and Hakyeon seemed to shine like the sun in the middle of it. Radiating with energy and joy that all of them, Wonshik included, could feed off of without having him seem to lose any of it in the process. It was mesmerizing. Beautiful. It made Wonshik feel like he was being healed from a sickness he didn’t know he had. And he felt like he could never look away from Hakyeon, or he would go back into darkness. So he watched him all day, until the sun was down and they walked slowly back to the train station because he had to go back to Seoul and back to being a hard-working producer. There was no time.

They walked in silence, both of them feeling warm a buzzed but so disappointed the time had passed to quickly. Wonshik did not understand why Hakyeon seemed to feel it too, he was staying a lot longer, only Wonshik was leaving. They walked closely along the road, twilight turning darker and darker, the road unlit and foggy, their hands side by side and occasionally touching each other – causing electric currents up Wonshik’s arms and the hairs in his neck rise.

He wanted to turn back and walk the route one more time when they reached the station. They climbed up on the platform, completely void of people again, the track covered in a dream-like fog and cicadas singing loudly in the bushes across the track. It seemed so dreamlike still. Was he still sleeping on the train, still on their way here? He hoped, even though he knew it was not so.

 Hakyeon turned to him as they heard the call of the train approaching. His eyes seemed conflicted, surprising Wonshik, and he chewed his lip for a moment before speaking – Wonshik waiting in silence. “I hope you feel better after today.” Hakyeon said, and his hand reached for Wonshik’s for a moment – making his heart beat harder for a split second – before twitching back and then taking a grip on his bicep and squeezing comfortingly. A trace of disappointment in Wonshik’s chest blooms, and his eyes flickered to the train approaching and a sense of immense urgency filled him.

“I had an amazing day.” He answered, the sound almost drowned by the train’s horn roaring in their ears as it finally reached the station, breaks screaming in agony and Wonshik’s heart picking up a rapid pace.

He looked into Hakyeon’s eyes one more time. Looked deeply for any trace of something. What he found was fondness, sadness and so, so much emotion.

The train roared by them and he leaned in and kissed him, swallowing Hakyeon’s gasp by pulling him closer with his arms.

The train stopped and they parted. Hakyeon was panting, Wonshik’s eyes finding his eyes to search again. They were both breathless. Wordless. Mindless.

Somehow Hakyeon was able to find some kind of sense.

“The next train is tomorrow.” He said quietly. It wasn’t a request, or an invitation, or anything. A simple state of fact.

Wonshik didn’t move, eyes trained on Hakyeon while his pulse roared in his ears and his chest felt like it had a thousand running horses in it. Adrenaline pumping his blood full of courage he had lacked before.

The train moved, leaving them, and Hakyeon leaned in for another kiss.