“I’ve always been in love with you…

Two years after it started, I decided to take all my courage and confess, but you rejected me under the pretext that we were just some old friends, that I was surely just misunderstanding close friendship for love and that you couldn't, in any ways, see me as a boyfriend. I was really hurt deep inside me, but I tried my best to not let this pain show, while at the same time, I tried with both my heart and soul to avoid you. However your atittude towards me never changed, as if nothing had happened between us, letting me believe that you wanted to push the knife in the wound.

       After the last year of high school, after our graduation, you went to the big city to enter a famous dance and singing school and, of course, I followed you. I was still in love with you but I considered that it wasn’t entirely my fault since you were so kind to me…

       Few years later, you met a beautiful and lovable woman and you both decided to get married. If only you knew back then how miserable I was… I couldn’t forget you and look to the future in order to find someone else to love. All I could do was to look at your happiness from far away.

       I’ll confess that I tried to put an end at my life many times, but I always failed. Neither I could laugh or smile. All I could do was cry my pain out. I couldn’t even eat properly, but I think that’s because I just wasn’t hungry anymore…

       Today is my 25^th birthday and I was wondering if you still remember me… I saw you two weeks ago on television; you were dancing and singing with your friends in this music video that is really popular these days. Since you debuted I spent most of my time sitting on my sofa, waiting endlessly for you to show up…

       If you didn’t forget me, you must certainly think that everything’s going well for me, that I have the peaceful life I’ve always dreamed to have. If it’s the case, I’m really happy. I wouldn't be able to endure seeing you with eyes filled with pity…

       You know, I’ve never stopped loving you… Such a wonderful yet sad one sided love…

       If you were to read this one day… Don’t blame yourself because, in the end, nothing was really your fault. Just continue to live your life as you always did and don’t care about me, alright?!

Good bye my L…

“Dear Hyukjae”      

The man who was still crying and trembling tried to calm himself down in order to read the letter that seemed to be adressed to him. He read it with full attention. But the more he read, the more his heart beat faster. Finally, when he finished reading it, all his strength left his body and he fell on the cold floor, crying like he never did before.

When Hyukjae somewhat recovered his senses, he stood up and rushed out of the room without even listening to the doctor verdict about the condition of his dear friend… This girl who he was supposed to marry, never did it happen. He fled on the day of the ceremony while his future wife was waiting for him in front of the church hotel. Why? Simply because he was aware of his own feelings for Donghae and that he couldn’t force himself to marry a woman he just didn’t love.

The next morning, in the daily newspaper, you could find an article announcing the sadness of thousands of fans learning about the suicide of a young K-pop artist called Lee Hyukjae who, to put an end to his life, had jumped from the roof of an hospital. While in this same hospital, in a dark room where all the curtains where drawn, Lee Donghae was waking up after being saved by several doctors from a failed attempt to his life.

The End.