Jinislife
Ooh! May I have a Xiumin and Chen one please! Maybe something where Chen has been pining for Xiumin ever since they created EXO-M, but he doesnt know how to tell him. Especially since Xiumin is dating Luhan. Instead, he tries showing him through little gestures. Then, one day, opportunity gives Chen a chance to step in...
 

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 Jongdae remembered the first time he had ever seen Kim Minseok. It had been a cold November afternoon when he had been moved into the dorms, having been picked last to form SM's new boy group. He remembered entering through the doors of the small dorm, suitcase and bags in his arms, a nervous feeling on the pit of his stomach that seemed to disperse the moment he laid his eyes on him;  short, pale and beautiful, Jongdae remembered seeing the boy's pretty brown eyes light up as he stood up from his comfortable spot on the dinner table to greet him, "I'm Kim Minseok, I'm guessing you're Jongdae?" he had said, stretching his delicate hand out to shake Jongdae's sweaty one. Jongdae remembered the day as clear as daylight; the day he met his first love.

Staring at his reflection Jongdae hardly recognized himself, he had changed in more ways than one in the past few years; fame had made him skinnier, his skin had gotten paler and his cheekbones more refined; it was hard to believe that he was the awkward eighteen year old that had first arrived at the dorms. "What are you looking at there?" he heard a voice say from the other side of the practice room, Minseok, whom had changed just as much, if not more, than Jongdae. Jongdae smiled and looked back at the older boy; Minseok's hair had been dyed for their new comeback a bright orange and they had all laughed at him, well that was until they had seen Luhan's pastel pink colored hair, soon enough Minseok's hair was forgotten in favor of teasing Luhan instead, 'Shut up all of you! He looks handsome' Minseok had scolded them all, pressing a sloppy kiss on Luhan's cheek, Jongdae hadn't really felt like laughing at that.

"Just rehearsing" Jongdae said, there was no need to raise his voice, the others had left hours ago to go back to the dorm and the only sound he could hear other than his own breathing was Minseok's feet as they padded across the hardwood floors and went to sit down on the couch which was settled across the room.
"You've been rehearsing all day, is not like you'll get any better.  Take a break" Minseok insisted, his disheveled hair and swollen eyes making it clear to Jongdae that he had just woken up. He wondered why Minseok was in the practice room at three in the morning but didn't bother voicing the question out, instead Jongdae clicked play on the computer and began practicing the choreography once again; ignoring the soft grunt that escaped Minseok's mouth as the older boy laid on the couch. 

Had Minseok always been such a crybaby? Probably not, Jongdae decided. Sometime in the past Minseok didn't sneak into his room while Yixing was out and asked Jongdae in a hushed tone if he could sleep with him "Please? Just for tonight." as if he hadn't asked the same thing the night before. Jongdae complied, scooting to the corner of his twin bed and pulling the covers up in order for the older to slide into the bed beside him.

"Luhan has been acting strange lately...” Minseok said quietly, once the soft sniffles coming from his side of the bed came to a halt.
"Why do you say that?" He whispered, Yixing was snoring quietly on his bed from across them and he really didn't want to wake him up.
"I think he's upset... About Yifan, he and Zitao aren't taking the news as well as Yixing.” Minseok explained in a hushed tone, his voice became almost inaudible at the mention of Yixing's name. None of them had talked much about it, Yifan had left in May and it was July, but they were all still a little sensitive about it.

Baekhyun had once told Jongdae while they were out buying groceries that he had heard Luhan in the phone with their former bandmate, "I didn't get everything he was saying since my mandarin isn't perfect but I think he said something about 'going home'" Baekhyun had whispered as they walked through the dairy section, Jongdae didn't understand, but he felt nauseous at the thought and decided on passing it off as pointless gossip coming from Baekhyun. 

The nauseous feeling washed over him once again at Minseok's words, what if Luhan was actually thinking

about it? Leaving all of them behind? Leaving Minseok behind? The nausea was soon replaced with something else; resentment.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you're just imagining things." Jongdae reassured the older boy, petting his surprisingly soft hair gently. They stayed like that for a while, with Jongdae's fingers rubbing Minseok's scalp softly as the older rested his head on the pillow. Jongdae wished it was just him for once, that Minseok didn't sneak into his bed to rant about his boyfriend and instead just to be with him, and in a moment of selfishness Jongdae wished what Baekhyun had said weeks before was true, that Luhan was thinking of leaving everything behind; Minseok and them all, because if Luhan wasn't there anymore, if he became like Yifan; the 'traitor' they no longer spoke of, maybe, just maybe Minseok would look at him instead.

Jongdae stared out the window, they all sat around the living room's couches and Baekhyun's current makeshift bedroom; he occupied the spot closest to the window, staring out of it blankly as he waited for someone, anyone to say something. Luhan was fidgeting beside him, with Minseok on his other side holding his hand; Jongdae would have thought they were a cute couple if it wasn't for the horrid feeling that rose up his throat every time he saw them so close together. The ten members all stared at Junmyeon, he usually broke the ice for this sort of meeting, but his face looked uncertain as he glanced at Minseok. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, finally Minseok sighed and looked around the room, "Luhan has something to tell us all." Minseok said softly, squeezing Luhan's hand reassuringly. 

Luhan officially left Exo in October 10th, 2014. He promised Minseok to call any chance he got; the oldest cried when they said goodbye, everyone did. The horrible feeling in Jongdae's throat made it hard for him to breathe, he convinced himself it was sadness, but in the back of his mind he knew it was guilt. Wishing for Luhan to leave was one of the selfish-est things he had done in a long time, and the fact it came true made it hard for him to look at Luhan in the eyes as the older man told him goodbye. Jongdae could feel Minseok holding onto his arm, standing by the door as they watched the rest of the members hugging and saying their goodbyes, it was different from the last time, Yifan had done everything silently; leaving a note for each one of them in their beds and leaving while they all were busy with their schedules. This was somehow worst.

Minseok stopped coming over to Jongdae's room at night, "Long distance relationships take a lot of effort." Kyungsoo had explained one night while he laid on the dance practice room's floor while panting quietly; they both had stayed behind to work on the choreography and had somehow ended up talking about everything other than work.
"Maybe that effort he's putting into the relationship should be put into this stupid comeback" Jongdae had thought out loud, lying beside Kyungsoo after he had turned off 'Call Me Baby' just as it started playing once again.
"You're just saying that cause you're jealous" Kyungsoo had said, it wasn't a question, it was more of a statement, a statement Jongdae couldn't disagree with. 

Jongdae wondered how things had ended up this way, Minseok sprawled on his bed, his leg over Jongdae's skinny frame as he slept peacefully. His face was so close to Jongdae's he could feel his warm breath fanning across his cheekbones. It was strange, how Jongdae who was the youngest of the two but always somehow ended up taking care of Minseok. Some part of him knew he didn't have to take care of the older when he was sick, the man was old enough to take care of himself even with a high fever and an ugly cough but Jongdae couldn't help himself, taking care of Minseok the past few days had been the only time he had spent with the older man since Luhan's departure. 

Jongdae's fingers gently rubbed Minseok's scalp, his eyes stared at the ceiling as the older boy's warm breath hit his cheek. Jongdae realized not being selfish was hard to do when the person that took your breath away was millimeters from you. 

Every part of Jongdae's body told him to stop, the past eight hours had been spent practicing for their comeback. 2014 had ended just the way it had started, except now their dorm had two empty beds. Minseok had stopped spending all his free time cooped up in his room talking to Luhan, none of them dared to ask why the oldest of the group's eyes looked so tired, why he was so skinny, or why he was so obsessed with practicing all of a sudden.
"Minseok... Let's take five..?" Jongdae suggested, maybe asking the older to help him learn the choreography wasn’t such a great idea after all.
"You haven't even learned half of the dance" Minseok stated, even though he said that, he was already making his way to the computer in order to pause the song. Jongdae smiled, grabbing their bottles of water and handing one to Minseok as the both of them plopped down on the ground.  

"How have you been..?" Jongdae asked after a few moments of comfortable silence, it was a generic question, but if there was something that was bothering Minseok, Jongdae hoped he'd tell him now, in the quiet practice room where no one else would listen in on their conversation.
"I've been fine..." the oldest of the two said, his breathing had evened out after a few seconds "...I could be better.”  He admitted when he realized the younger boy was staring blankly at the hardwood floor that was by now damp with their sweat.
Jongdae nodded softly, looking up at Minseok when he finally stopped panting, he took a long sip of water before placing the bottle down and standing up "Let’s keep going. I'll buy you dinner as thanks once we are done." He offered Minseok a hand while smiling that lazy smile of his, pulling the older up and going back to the computer,pressing play and letting the music fill the empty room.

"Jongdae..? Are you up?" Jongdae didn't have to open his sleep filled eyes to know who it was, he had heard his voice enough times to know it was Minseok, hovering over his bed at this unholy hour as if he hadn't done it before. Jongdae opened his tired eyes, looking at the boy while lazily pulling up the covers and scooting to the corner of his small bed, letting the small man slip under the covers beside him. "Couldn't sleep..?" he asked, making himself comfortable in the little space he had while closing his eyes once again, he didn't need to whisper, Yixing was filming for a variety show in China but he still talked in a hushed tone, their walls were thin and Sehun's bedroom was right next door. Minseok hummed quietly in agreement, his cheek resting on the corner of Jongdae's pillow. 

"Luhan and I broke up..." Minseok said quietly after a long time, Jongdae had started to think the older man was sleeping, he stared at the ceiling, what was he supposed to say? He'd be lying if he said he hadn't known, they all had seen the shift of personality coming from Minseok days ago.
"I know." Jongdae stated, his hand finding it's way to Minseok's hair, twirling a few strands in between his fingertips - the texture wasn't as soft as it once was due to all the chemicals that came with being a celebrity, but it was still Minseok. The room was quiet for a long time with the only sound to be heard being Minseok's quiet sniffles. Slowly the quiet noises of Minseok's crying came to a stop, replaced with the sound of his steady breathing, Jongdae guessed he had fallen asleep and decided on doing the same.

They all understood, Zitao had gone through enough as it was, and as much as they wanted to be angry at him, they couldn't bring themselves to it. His health was what was important. Unlike Yifan or Luhan Zitao didn't say goodbye, instead he promised he'd come back after his surgery, a promise that never came true. Some part of Minseok somehow knew, the way Zitao looked and acted for the last couple weeks had been so unlike him, yet he had ignored it, brushed it off as Zitao seeking for attention. 
Jongdae had patted his back gently and told him it wasn’t his fault, which didn't make him feel any better, instead it made his cheeks flush and his eyes water; since when had he been such a crybaby? Wasn't he supposed to be the oldest? The tough one?

Jongdae realized something after knowing Minseok for six long years; taking care of Minseok took a lot of effort, especially when the older wasn't supposed to know how he felt. Jongdae caught himself wishing for something to happen; anything to happen; a change of heart from Minseok that would cause the older male to realize his none existent feelings for Jongdae were love. It was unrealistic and selfish but he couldn't help himself. Being the supporting role in Minseok's life made him feel pathetic.

Junmyeon stared at him as they sat on his bed, Chanyeol was out with Baekhyun buying groceries which meant he could invite the leader to speak in private in his room, which was neat and clean unlike Junmyeon's.
"How have you been holding up?" Junmyeon asked after he got bored of staring at Minseok's light blue bed sheets sprawled neatly over the bed
"Just fine." Minseok replied in a quiet voice, he had thought of what he was going to say for days, prepared the perfect speech but now that he stood in front of Junmyeon, without distractions or other members surrounding him...but now that he was standing in front of the other,  he couldn't come up with how he was supposed to approach the topic.
"So..?" the younger of the two dragged on, looking at Minseok as if he had grown a third eye, Minseok wasn't the type to speak to others about his feelings, in fact he didn't speak about his feelings to anyone but Jongdae, but Jongdae was different.

"I want your love advice." Minseok mumbled in an uncharacteristic tone, and grimanced soon after the words came out of his mouth; it was a foreign feeling and he wished to take the words back, to prepare a better composed sentence which didn't sound so damn stupid.
"My love advice?" Junmyeon repeated, his eyebrows raised in question as a soft chuckle escaped his slightly parted lips "Out of all people you chose me to ask for advice?" He sounded pleased and confused all at once.
"Well, you're the only openly gay one here" Minseok explained, not being able to hold back a grin at the sight of Junmyeon's nose scrunching up, the blunt statement made it obvious Minseok wasn't there because he looked up to him, which Junmyeon had hoped was the case. 

"What love advice do you need?" The younger man asked while looking at Minseok.
"Let's just say... Hypothetically speaking... If you liked someone like... Jongin-"
"I would never like Jongin, he's annoying" Junmyeon interrupted, a soft groan escaped Minseok's lips.
"Okay... You liked Baek-"
"Minseok, why would anyone in their right minds like Baekhyun?" 
"I swear Jun... I'm starting to regret seeking for your advice." Minseok warned.
"Okay sorry continue" Junmyeon said quietly, smiling apologetically and urging the older male to continue with his little story.
"So as I was saying before you oh so rudely interrupted me: you like Baekhyun, and you know Baekhyun... with his pretty smile, and his nice cheekbones and his cute curly hair when he wakes up in the morning" Minseok rambled.
"I'm starting to feel like you're the one that likes Baekhyun. Which is strange since I thought this was about Jongdae" Junmyeon said, watching Minseok's face morphed into one of complete and outer panic "Me? Liking Jongdae? The Kim Jongdae? Like I'd ever!" Minseok huffed, his cheeks felt warm and his ears were probably bright red. He looked away.
"Just tell him how you feel." Junmyeon said as he stood up, ruffling Minseok's hair as if he wasn't the youngest of the two, walking away towards the door. 

Minseok found himself staring at his bedroom's ceiling, it was three in the morning and he knew they had a schedule in five hours but somehow Junmyeon's words continued repeating themselves like a broken record in his mind just tell him how you feel.  Without even realizing what he was doing Minseok was out of his bed, walking quietly out of his shared bedroom and padding towards Jongdae and Yixing's shared bedroom. Opening the door, Minseok scanned the bedroom from the door, Jongdae's bed was empty. Minseok slowly closed the door behind himself, where was he? He wondered, walking through the dark hallway towards the kitchen, Minseok's footsteps came to a halt as he stopped in front of the balcony's glass walls, there Jongdae stood, leaning against the railing with a cup in his hands. 

Minseok silently opened the balcony's door and let himself out, his eyes trained on Jongdae's lean body, he slowly cleared his throat. "What are you looking at there?" He asked gingerly, walking toward the younger male before looking at his face, Jongdae looked tired; his eye bags, messy bed hair and bloodshot eyes made it clear to Minseok that he wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping. 

"Why are you still up..?" Jongdae asked, the words getting drowned out by a soft yawn that escaped his lips.
"Couldn't sleep" he stated, his eyes landing on the cup of milk Jongdae was holding out for him, Minseok grabbed it, taking a small sip of the warm liquid before handing it back to Jongdae.
"I guess I'm not the only one then." the youngest of the two looked at the skyline, clouds filled the sky leaving no stars or moon to stare at, they both stayed like that for a while, staring at the dark sky while thinking of what to say, just tell him how you feel Junmyeon's words quietly echoed in the back of Minseok's mind, his heart hammered quickly against his chest and his face felt warm, he thanked God for the darkness that hid the light red tint which painted his ears. 

"Jongdae...” He said hesitantly, now or never, he repeated in his mind like a mantra.
"Hmm..?" a soft hum came as a response.
"I-I...” Minseok hesitated, what if he didn't like him? It would ruin their friendship. 
"You what?" Jongdae asked, raising a brow at Minseok's awkward behavior, now or never he repeated in his mind, turning to face the younger male before speaking once again.
"I like you, as more than a friend...” He rambled nervously in a quiet voice, he wondered if he could still become a rapper, for the words came out so quickly Jongdae took a few moments to realize what they meant.
"Wha-"
"I want to get to know you, as a man and not a friend" Minseok interrupted, his face felt like it was on fire, as a man and not a friend? Are you actually serious? 
He groaned internally, he should have thought about it all better, the words came out awkward and now he had to stand there and wait for a reaction. Jongdae's face stayed blank why is he so quiet? Minseok's eyes widened, he messed up, his whole life was ruined because of this one rash decision, he'd have to move to the Himalayas and start a new life.
"W-why aren't you saying anything?" Minseok spoke. Before he knew what was going on a pair of soft lips were pressed against his own, his eyes widened, before they fluttered shut as he kissed Jongdae back.

Junmyeon stood by the glass door that lead to their dorm's balcony, a fond smile playing in his lips as he watched Minseok wrapping his arms around Jongdae's neck, he gently rolled his eyes before muttering under his breath "About time" ; retreating back to his room.

FIN