December 24th is the only day that most anticipated by Kim Taehyung, exceeded his enthusiasm in welcoming his birthday. He never wasted that day by waking up when the sun has reached its highest peak, or just sitting quietly in front of the TV with a big bowl of sweet popcorn and a box of his favorite strawberry milk. Every year, on that date, Taehyung will wake up early in the morning, even much earlier than normal days. He never set an alarm or marking his calendar, but it seemed to have become a doctrine that is embedded in his brain.

 

Without waiting any longer, Taehyung woke up and stretched. He turned his head toward the window in his room with a blank stare. Over the years, nothing has changed with the weather. The cold has always been the first thing that greets him when he opened his eyes. But at least, he always prayed silently, hopefully there will be a different thing he could get on this day.

 

Smile spreading across his lips, Taehyung move his body and started to leave the bed. A pair of slender legs swinging slowly, a step closer to a half-body-length mirror hanging on the wall. He grabbed a postcard-sized photo that he had tucked in the corner of the mirror. And without realizing it, the two corners of his lips twitched upward and showing a charming smile. His eyes never left staring at a pair of men who become the object of the photo.

 

Taehyung raised his hand and rubbed the photo with affection. Eum, more accurately, he just wiped the portrait of a man who was smiling proudly when showing his uniform. He is Hoseok, Jung Hoseok. A handsome man who has worked as a South Korean soldier since four years ago. While Taehyung currently works as an art teacher in a primary school. Despite of having different professions, they still have some similarities. They both like alternative rock music, hate the insects, they like caramel macchiato, and most importantly; they love each other.

 

Yeah, Hoseok is the owner of Taehyung’s heart for over the last five years. Of course, five years is not a short time. But it seems as if only yesterday Taehyung know him. Hoseok who didn’t speak much, Hoseok who were always waiting for him in front of the journalism club, and Hoseok who stole his first kiss on New Year's Eve.

 

The corner of his lips twitched upward, arching a smile when he recalled his first meeting with Hoseok that day. Taehyung raised his head and turned toward the frosted glass window. Taehyung vividly recall, five years ago, he first met with Hoseok when the slender boy was offered a little help for him after school.

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At that time, in August, the sun shone quite hot even though it was already 4 pm. A little late to come home, while the final lesson in Seoul Senior High School has ended since almost one and a half hour ago. But it’s not a big problem for Taehyung. He often came home late for almost every day, except for Saturday. If you think that Taehyung is a mischievous kid who'd love to play and have fun, then the answer is: No.

 

Don’t underestimate him. For two consecutive years, Taehyung successfully defended his title as the owner of the highest grades in his class. He also led the journalism club in his school. And that is the reason why Taehyung often come home late.

 

When the lesson was over, he would immediately go to the journalism club room which he led and directed the members to make some articles that they can vent through the wall magazines or school newspapers. Today is Friday, and it was a sign that there will be so many piles of paper sheets containing various articles he had aggregated one by one. And he almost screamed when he remembered that he had promised his brother to return home earlier than usual.

 

Taehyung stared at his desk filled with papers and sighed. He must bring it and continue his work at home, or Seokjin will happily burn dozens of his comics collection for breaking a promise. Ugh, he couldn’t imagine if his brother really going to do it.

 

With one swift motion, he immediately picked up four large plastic bag that he kept in a drawer and insert the sheets into it. When all the bags have been filled with dozens pieces of articles, Taehyung sighed heavily as he muttered, “How do I bring this all?!”

 

“I can help you.” said a voice from behind the door. A basket ball rolled slowly into the room and then entered a young man who had never Taehyung seen before.

 

The young man was just wearing a plain black T-shirt. He didn’t know why the young man took off his uniform, but according to his analysis, maybe he didn’t want to make his uniform dirty. His body was covered in sweat. Basketball club, Taehyung thought when grabbing a ball stalled under his desk. The young man grabbed a small towel from his bag, wiped the sweat that soaks the face and neck, then smiled at Taehyung who looked at him in silence. Taehyung did not remember what he was thinking, but he remembered when the young man smiled back at him and he nodded his head in response.

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I remember what you wore on the first day,

You came into my life and I thought,

“Hey, you know, this could be something”

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“So you're a transfer student?” asked Taehyung. “No wonder if I’d never seen you before.”

 

The young man smile. “I'm a transfer student,” he said. “but it was in the second year. It has been a year I studied in the same school with you.”

 

“Eh? Really?” asked Taehyung in disbelief.

 

The young man nodded his head as he took a sip of his cola. “My class is right beside your class and you never see me, eh?”

 

“Nope.” said Taehyung while showing a grin. “Maybe because you're too busy burying yourself on the basketball court.”

 

It is a subtle mockery sentence and he knew he should feel angry or upset, but it did not happen this time. He only glanced at Taehyung and laughed softly. When they crossed a bridge, the young man said, “My name is Hoseok. Jung Hoseok.”

 

Taehyung stopped for a moment and stared at the young man who had just mentioned Hoseok as his name. Taehyung put down a bag that he brought before held out his hand to Hoseok. “Kim Taehyung.”

 

Hoseok saw an outstretched hand to him and shook his hand as he smiled. “Glad to know you, Taehyung-ssi.”

 

Taehyung knows, it's just simple words that often people said when they introduced themself. And Taehyung knows, Hoseok hold his hand just to avenge the handshake he'd start first. But for that smile, he really didn’t understand how that boy could make him hold his breath just for a slight smile painted on his lips.

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‘Cause everything you do and words you say,

You know that it all takes my breath away...

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Lunch break still took one and a half hours away, but Taehyung already yawn impatiently. While Mr. Cho describes the history of the independence of South Korea, Taehyung pout his lips while occasionally scribbling on his book. And he almost screaming hysterically when he realized that he had written too much ‘Jung Hoseok’ on the last page of his book with a red pen. Before anyone see his notebook which has been full by Hoseok’s name with some cute decorations here and there—which makes him look like a girl—he then ripped out the pages, folded into several parts, and hid it in his pocket. At least it feels much safer than if he squeezed it into a tiny ball and throw it on the floor.

 

Just talking about Hoseok and it could make a big smile on his face. Four months have passed since their first meeting and now they become closer to one another. Hoseok often invites Taehyung to go home together, buy him ice cream for every Thursday, and called him for almost every night even though sometimes they only discussed about Green Day, Coldplay, Radiohead, Nirvana, and Taehyung’s favorite horror movie.

 

“You're getting insane, uh?” sneered a slant-eyed boy who becomes his best friend since last year. “I noticed you were just smiling like an idiot without even paying attention. Are you possessed by the ghost of ice cream seller who died two weeks ago?”

 

Usually Taehyung will immediately roll up his book and hit the boy’s head every time he mocked him. But not this time. Taehyung smiles stupidly, then rested his chin with one hand while muttering, “He's much more handsome.”

 

“Well, it looks like you're really possessed.” The slant-eyed boy shudder and moved his chair away.

 

Taehyung turned to his friend and chuckled softly, making his eyes narrowed. He was about to reply, but a vibration of his phone interrupted. Taehyung reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. With deft, he immediately opened the incoming notification and read the messages from someone who successfully made the genius of Kim Taehyung look like an idiot.

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Taehyung hold back his screams as he realized he was still in the classroom. He bit his lip and turned to his friend while displaying a smile that could not understood by anyone but himself.

 

The young man put up a cautious attitude and stared Taehyung. “What?!” He snapped.

 

“He took me for lunch, Jimin-ah!” said Taehyung enthusiastic.

 

“He—who?” asked the other boy who called as Jimin. “Ice-cream seller's uncle?” He guessed randomly.

 

And it seems to succeed in making Taehyung back as usual. He rolled his eyes lazily, rolled up his notebook neglected on the table, then then smacked in the back of his friend's head.

 

“Ouch!” Jimin groaned quietly as he rubbed his throbbing head. “.”

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“Why did you bring too much food?” complained Taehyung, staring at a large lunch box in front of him. “It's lunch box that is usually used for a family picnic!”

 

Hearing that Hoseok just laughed softly as he pulled Taehyung’s hand to sit beside him on the grass. “Don’t be like that. I'm not asking you to take it all, right?” Hoseok open the lunch box and grabbed a piece of egg rolls with chopsticks. Instead of entering the egg into his mouth, Hoseok precisely directing the egg right in front of Taehyung’s mouth, hinting the brunette to take the egg first.

 

At first he was hesitant, but then Taehyung opened his mouth and devoured the eggs fed by Hoseok. “How is that? Good?” asked Hosoek with a wide smile on his face.

 

Taehyung smiled and nodded his head. “A bit salty, but this was pretty good.” Taehyung grabbed another chopstick prepared by Hoseok and take a piece of egg rolls for himself.

 

“Aish, I think I put too much salt into beaten egg.” Hoseok grunted slowly.

 

While on the other hand, Taehyung seemed to stop chewing and turned to Hoseok. “So this is your homemade egg? You made it by yourself?”

 

“Yeah.” Hoseok said with a laugh. “I can only make eggs, but it tasted salty.”

 

“That's because you're stupid.” said Taehyung relaxed, his eyes glancing mischievously at Hoseok.

 

“What?! Repeat the words again!” snarled Hoseok with a mouth filled with kimbab.

 

“I'm just kidding.” Taehyung picked up a piece of meat and laughing before eating. “The food is very tasty, really. Thank you.” He said sincerely.

 

Hoseok just smiled back, Taehyung’s hair gently, and resumed eating in silence. At a time like this, Taehyung doesn’t know what to do. He just ate his food, stealing a glance at dark-haired boy who was busy telling him about anything. When Hoseok smiled, he smiled. When Hoseok looked serious, he frowned. And when Hoseok laugh, his heart stopped beating.

 

Everything about Hoseok is too beautiful to be explained in words. He’s handsome, charismatic, friendly, and he has stolen Taehyung’s heart since the first time they knew each other.

 

“—hyung? Taehyung-ah!” Hoseok calling Taehyung’s name and shook him gently.

 

“Eh?” Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts and blinked several times. “What?”

 

Hoseok snorted softly. “You're not listening to me at all?” Hoseok has never felt angry at Taehyung, but this time Taehyung can capture a hidden annoyance in his tone.

 

“Sorry.” Taehyung muttered quietly.

 

“Never mind.” Hoseok smiled softly and eating a shrimp. “New Year's Eve is near. Are you free?”

 

“I dunno.” replied Taehyung unsure. “Usually I'll go around with my brother and his friends. Why?”

 

“What if you go with me?” Hoseok suggested. “I'll buy you dinner, don’t worry.”

 

For a moment, Taehyung looked uncertain. He bit his lip and his eyes moving restlessly, didn’t know what to say. On one hand, he wanted to answer “Yes”. But on the other hand, Taehyung afraid if his brother was angry because he didn’t go to spend New Year's Eve together. But, hey! He was old enough to take care of himself. And there was Hoseok who accompanied him. What else should he afraid of?

 

“Okay.” said Taehyung in the end and smiled softly.

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“Hyung, do I look good?” Asked Taehyung to so many times.

 

Seokjin, who was stirring his coffee, just shook his head in response to questions his brother. He sipped his coffee a little before muttering, “Ask one more time, and I'll throw you a bowl of mashed potatoes.”

 

“But unfortunately you don’t have any dollop of mashed potatoes right now.” Taehyung laughed softly while tidying his hair. “I look really good, right, hyung?”

 

“How many times should I answer it?!” Seokjin groaned, bored with his brother who just asking questions about his appearance tonight. “You're beautiful. Is that enough?”

 

Taehyung turned around, facing his brother and laughed softly. “I’m handsome.”

 

“Yeah, whatever.” Seokjin said as he stepped into the living room and the television. “What time are you coming home?”

 

“Eum, I do not know.” Taehyung replied uncertainly. He reached for a pack of choco and then joined with his brother in the living room. “You're not going anywhere?”

 

“No. Namjoon will be here in an hour.”

 

Taehyung just nodded slowly and joined watching a teen drama with his brother. He prefers to watch cartoons, but Seokjin will always be angry if he changed the channel randomly. And Taehyung was blatantly sighed with relief when his doorbell rang.

 

“He's coming. See you later!” Taehyung grabbed his jacket and ran without waiting for a reply from his brother.

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“Hi.” said Taehyung after opening the door of his house and found Hoseok who stood waiting for him.

 

“Hi,” replied Hoseok smiling. “are you ready?”

 

Taehyung smiled back and nodded his head firmly. “Yeah. We go now?”

 

“Sure.” Hoseok turned around and walked toward his motorcycle with Taehyung who followed him behind. “There's still three hours before twelve. Where do you want to go first?”

 

“Well, it's up to you.” Replied Taehyung while receiving a helmet outstretched by Hoseok.

 

“Ramen shop?” Hoseok suggested as he started the engine.

 

“Can I protested your suggestion?” asked Taehyung which now has positioned himself in the back seat.

 

“I guess not.” Hoseok smiled a little and then riding his motorcycle at moderate speed.

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The weather in New Year's Eve is quite friendly. The wind does not blow too hard, though cold in this season still feels shackled to the bone. But that does not matter because Taehyung and Hoseok have been wearing multiple layers of clothing to warm their bodies.

 

This time it was already eleven o'clock at night, and they had spent two hours to eat two bowls of ramen super spicy, followed by a driving around the city while occasionally stopping at a convenience store for a warm drink. Now they are no longer sitting on the bike seat, but sit side by side comfortably on the grass. At first he thought if Hoseok going to ask him to go to downtown and watch the fireworks festival, but the young man just take him to a villa located in the hills, not far from the city.

 

Much like the hill near Doraemon’s house, Taehyung thought. And maybe Hoseok’s choice to take him to this hill is not too bad. He always liked the place as calm and peaceful as this hill. Plus, according to Hoseok, fireworks will look much more beautiful when seen from this place.

 

“So you've been planning this before?” asked Taehyung when Hoseok collecting firewood stored in a small hut next to the villa.

 

“Think of it that way.” Hoseok chuckled softly as he took out a lighter from his jacket pocket. “This villa once belonged to my grandfather and I've never spent my new year's eve at this place. That's why I bring you here. Is that okay?”

 

“Are you kidding me? I love this place.” Taehyung poured kerosene all over firewood and help Hoseok lit a bonfire to warm their bodies. “You need to be frequently brought me here.”

 

“No problem.” said Hoseok shortly when the fire started burning. “Next week I'll pick you up at nine in the morning if you want.”

 

“Okay, I'll be waiting.” Taehyung smiling at Hoseok, occasionally rubbing his hands together.

 

“Are you cold?” asked Hoseok that—somehow—sounding concerned.

 

“No” Taehyung said in evasion, still maintaining his smile. “Bonfire is enough to make me warm.”

 

But the answer is not enough for Hoseok. He knows if Taehyung struggling against the cold. Teeth chattering and his voice trembled. Weather in hilly areas like this are less profitable if visited during the winter as it is now. And Hoseok cursed himself for making Taehyung cold.

 

“Come here.” Hoseok pull Taehyung slowly and sat back to him.

 

“Hoseok, what are you—”

 

“Warm you up.” muttered Hoseok. He put his hands on Taehyung’s waist, imprisoning him in a warm embrace. “It's not cold anymore, is it?” Asked Hoseok as he rested his head on Taehyung’s shoulder and looked at him from the side.

 

“Yeah.” Taehyung chuckled softly as he moved his body without releasing him from the arms of the young man who was hugged him from behind. “Now it feels much warmer.” He said quietly as he leaned back on Hoseok’s chest.

 

“Really?” asked Hoseok softly and Taehyung nodded his head in response. “I should hug you from the beginning.”

 

“Then why did you just do it now?” Taehyung muttered very slowly until Hoseok was not so sure if he heard it.

 

Hoseok strengthen his arms and listened, waiting Taehyung to repeat his words. But Taehyung was silent, staring at the sky, do not intend to repeat the words that do not require an answer.

 

“Taehyung-ah," called Hoseok after a long silence.

 

“Hm?”

 

“If life is a parable, what things remind you with me?” asked Hoseok.

 

“I dunno.” replied Taehyung uncertainly. “I think you are very similar to a panther.”

 

“Panther.” Hoseok repeat his words with a slight smile. “How come?”

 

“You know Jimin, my bestfriend?” Hoseok nodded his head in response. “When he knows that I know you, he looks so surprised. He asked me to stay away from you, because according to him, you're not a good boy. You're arrogant, never get together with your friends, and he said—“

 

“He said that?” Hoseok interrupted.

 

“Yeah, he did say that. But I think I know why.” Taehyung smiled a little, then raised his head and looked at the sky. “The first time we saw a panther, the first thing that comes to our mind is; scary. Their sharp eyes, the ability to pounce on prey, speed and agility in running, and they had a jet black fur. Once again, we will always think if they are scary and sometimes make us reluctant to approach them.

 

“The thought has become a doctrine to everyone to never approach or create problems with panther itself. And if we always think like that, we will never know if there are many positive things that we can see from a scary panther. Panther's eyes is creepy, but no one knows if they did it as a form of being alert to other things that could threaten its existence. Panther is aggressive, but no one knows if panther is a figure that is warm to the colony. Panther is known as violent if it had been dealing with his enemies, but no one knows if the panther is so responsible parent with their child. And I can also see it from you.

 

“From your eyes, sometimes you do look arrogant. But once I knew you, it turns out you're a pretty good person. You're so indifferent to other people that you do not know, but you always make me laugh when we are together. And though you seem indifferent, but in fact you never miss to give me your attention. So, yeah, you're a panther.” Taehyung smiled with satisfaction when finishing his explanation.

 

“Wow.” Hoseok stunned. “You make a loss for words.”

 

“Is it too much? I'm just trying to express what I feel.” said Taehyung which was followed by a chuckle from his lips.

 

“Not really. I'm just not as perfect as you'd think.” Hoseok smiled as he glanced at the watch wrapped around his left wrist. “Whoops, one more minute! Let's make a wish!”

 

Taehyung laughed softly, and then he closed his eyes and murmured, “I hope this year we can graduate with the best grades and I hope—”

 

“I hope you love me like I love you.” Hoseok whispered right in his ear.

 

“E, eh?” Taehyung opened his eyes. “What did you say?”

 

“Shall I repeat that?” Hoseok whispered softly, making Taehyung shudder when he felt the warm breath tickling his ear. Hoseok removing his hands around Taehyung’s waist and turned his body to face him. Sparkling colors that decorate the night sky while accompanied by the sound of an explosion of fireworks that lit from the city center like the strains of a romantic melody that accompanies them. Hoseok cupped his hand on Taehyung’s cheek, wipe it with a soft and loving, then whispered, “I love you.”

 

Just three simple words, but managed to make him blushed. His lips twitched upward and forming a smile that looks so beautiful on his face. Taehyung opened his lips slowly, and replied with four words, “I love you too.”

 

And in the next moment, everything around them happened so quickly, even before Taehyung can digest it. Taehyung closed his eyes perfectly when Hoseok lean closer to his face and few seconds later, he could feel a gentle kiss on his lips. He can’t help but smile when he felt Hoseok lips caressing her lips gently. There is nothing else that Taehyung can do but pull him closer and deepend their kiss.

 

Kissed each other's lips, hands interlocked with affection, and the sound of fireworks explosion that sounded like romantic music in their ears. Are there other things that much sweeter than this?

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Taehyung sighed and returned his gaze on a sheet of photo in his hand. Five years have passed since then, and they have chosen their way of life respectively. A month after high school graduation ceremony, Hoseok told him that he wants to register himself as an army. Hoseok says he wants to continue his father’s fight who had died when he was thirteen. As a good lover, Taehyung respond Hoseok’s desire by giving full support during the training period.

 

At first, Taehyung decided to follow the advice of his brother by signing up to one of the medical colleges with him. But then Taehyung changed his mind and decided that someday he would become an art teacher. Seokjin doesn’t mind, because it is a decision that is made by Taehyung and only he knows about his own ability.

 

Taehyung reached out a hand and give it back to its original place. He smiled slightly, then went into the bathroom to get cleaned up.

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Seokjin just finished eating a bowl of corn flakes as he saw the silhouette of a tall body moving down the stairs and then joined with him in the kitchen. Taehyung looks so neat with a plain brown shirt and black jeans, inversely related to Seokjin’s appearance that still looks dingy and hasn’t touched the water since waking up forty-five minutes ago. Seokjin put the empty bowl to the wash dishes while watching the movement of his brother who is now preparing a glass of hot chocolate milk.

 

“You're going out again?” Seokjin asked softly.

 

Taehyung stop the movement and nodded his head as he glanced at his brother who was standing watching him. “I have promised him. And I could not deny it.”

 

Seokjin sighed heavily and shook his head impatiently. “It's Christmas Eve. Can’t you stay home with me?” Seokjin asked in a flat voice. “ with all ridiculous promises you’ve made to Hoseok! Why are you still insist to go if in the end you’ll just—”

 

“Enough.” Taehyung interrupted. “It's my life and I'm old enough to decide what I would do. So you do not have to worry.”

 

“Whatever.” said Seokjin in the end. “But I've warned you.”

 

Seokjin snorted quite loud, before he started to leave the kitchen. Leaving Taehyung frozen in his place as he clenched his fists. Taehyung closed his eyes and took a deep breath to re-stabilize his emotions that inflamed by his brother. He then leaves his milk chocolate that is still fully in the glass, grabbed his jacket and coat, and immediately leave the house without asking for permission to his brother.

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The atmosphere at the train station this morning still looks quite deserted. Taehyung looked at his watch, half past eight in the morning. A little too early to start activity in holiday. Taehyung tucking his hands into his coat and walked across a deserted platform.

 

For a moment, Taehyung stopped and stared at the ends of the railroad crossings that still not giving any sign if there would be a train that stops at this station. Taehyung sighed and slowly sat down in a waiting chair.

 

Taehyung bit hus lips and silently praying that there will be—at least—one trains which stopped on this station today.

 

“Hoseok, please come home.” Taehyung murmured softly. “I am waiting for you.”

 

Taehyung sigh as he rested his back against the chair. His eyes slowly closed and he remembered an incident he experienced three and a half years ago, the moments where Hoseok came to see him for the last time.

 

Taehyung vividly recall. At that time, in late June, Hoseok came to see him with unusual way. Usually, Hoseok will send a short message to Taehyung if he wanted to meet. Or sometimes, Hoseok will pick Taehyung up on his college. No one knows what’s in Hoseok’s mind that time, he quietly slipped into Taehyung’s house when the clock already showed at 11 pm. Taehyung, which at that time was asleep comfortably in his blanket, suddenly woke up when he heard a knock on the window glass connected with a balcony in his room.

 

“Hoseok?” said Taehyung a bit confused when he opened the window and let Hoseok in. “What happened? It’s almost midnight.”

 

Hoseok didn’t answer. He just showed a bitter smile that Taehyung never seen before. He looks messed up, his expression looks so gloomy, and then Taehyung realized that there was something he was hiding.

 

Taehyung want to ask why, but he canceled when Hoseok pulled and brought him into a warm embrace. Even though he seems a little hesitant, but then he put his hands on Hoseok’s back. Hug him tightly and giving a signal that Taehyung will remain together with him, no matter what happens.

 

“You look tired.” said Taehyung when Hoseok had taken off his arms. “Can I get you a drink?”

 

Hoseok shook his head, smiling weakly. “No. I just need you.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Taehyung smiled and patting Hoseok’s left chest. “I'll always be here for you.”

 

Hoseok smiled slightly and Taehyung hair affectionately. He then turned toward the balcony and gestured at Taehyung to join with him, sat staring at the floor paved with sparkling with stars in the sky. Taehyung, which still do not understand what is desired by Hoseok, just shrugged as he sat down beside his lover.

 

He thought Hoseok will soon open his mouth and say something to answer his curiosity. But in reality, he just stared at the sky with a look that can not be interpreted with any words.

 

“Babe.” Taehyung calling softly. “Say something.”

 

Hoseok turned his gaze and stretched out a hand, hinted Taehyung to get closer to him. Taehyung obeyed and Hoseok hugged him possessively.

 

“Three days ago, I was called by my superiors.” said Hoseok in the end. “I was asked to keep the border region, with indeterminate period.”

 

Taehyung gasped and immediately detach himself from Hoseok’s embrace. “Keeping the border region?!” He shrieked in disbelief. “But you haven’t even barely a year working as an army!”

 

“I know, babe.” Hoseok muttered softly. “The situation of our country is getting dangerous now. There are so many North Korean forces which infiltrate into our country, while camps in border areas still lack of members.”

 

“But why should you?” whispered Taehyung sadly. “Can’t you turn it down?”

 

“I wish I could.” Hoseok shook his head and show his bitter smile.

 

Taehyung looked wistfully at Hoseok’s handsome face, sighing heavily. “When are you leaving?”

 

“The day after tomorrow.” said Hoseok after a long pause. “Will you take me to the train station on the day of my departure?”

 

“Okay...” answered Taehyung as he laid his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. “But for tonight, you have to hug me until the sun rises.”

 

And Hoseok immediately change his position and switch right behind Taehyung. Like a déja vu, Hoseok put his hands on Taehyung’s waist, just like the first time he hugged him. Hoseok strengthen his arms and kissed Taehyung’s nape and laid his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder as he whispered, “I love you, Tae.”

 

“I love you even more.” Taehyung said quietly. His closed his eyes, but slowly he could feel the presence of a tear which shed through the corner of his eye.

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“Promise me you'll call me every day.” Taehyung demanded which both eyes look straight at Hoseok.

 

“I'll try.” Hoseok smiled and Taehyung’s hair. “I will be placed in mountainous areas. Will probably be quite difficult to get a phone signal.”

 

“So when are you coming home?” Asked Taehyung that ignores Hoseok’s words.

 

“I don’t even know.”  Hoseok replied with heavy sigh. “But will you promise me one thing?”

 

Taehyung nodded his head in response. “Say it.”

 

Hoseok raised his hands and cupped Taehyung’s cheek. “I don’t know when I'll be home. But promise me that you'll wait for my return at this station every year, right on the twenty-fourth of December. You'll be the first to greet me, and then we will spend Christmas Eve and New Year together again like old times. Can we?”

 

“Yes.” replied Taehyung with trembling voice. “I'll do anything if it can bring you back to me.”

 

“Thank you.” Hoseok affectionately kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly. “I'm definitely going to miss you.”

 

Taehyung hid his weak smile as he hugged back. He didn’t want to let this embrace, a warm hug that he couldn’t feel when Hoseok go on duty. But shrieks sound of a whistle inevitably interrupt their activities. Hoseok release their hug and kiss on Taehyung’s lips for the last time.

 

“Take care.” Hoseok said, smiling wistfully.

 

He then turned and stepped into the train that will soon be leaving in few minutes. The door close completely and the train began to move slowly. Taehyung walk along, moving to keep pace with train that carrying his lover away, until he finally stopped when his legs no longer able to pursue. Taehyung staring wistfully in the direction of the train which has now moved away and looked down at the ground.

 

A pat on his left shoulder made him turn and find Seokjin smiling to strengthen him. He wants to smile back, but he just sobbed quietly on his brother’s shoulder who now held him lovingly.

.

.

.

.

And now I’m left with nothing…

So maybe it’s true

That I can’t live without you,

And maybe two is better than one.

There’s so much time,

To figure out the rest of my life,

And you’ve already got me coming undone.

.

.

.

.

It’s already three years since he waited for the return of Hoseok. He always sat in the corner of the station from morning until the dusk approached, just left his seat to buy drinks and snacks, stood and looked expectantly at each train that stops, then slumped when he realized that he can’t found the one he loved.

 

Taehyung sighed as he pulled out a cell phone hidden in his pocket. He pressed the passwords and stared wistfully in his phone’s display. He move his thumb and rubbed slowly, moving along their photograph taken during their high school graduation. In moments like these, Taehyung often remember all the sweet memories he had ever made together with Hoseok.

.

.

.

.

I remember every look upon your face,

The way you roll your eyes,

The way you taste,

You make it hard for breathing…

.

.

.

.

Taehyung took a heavy sigh as he closed his eyes. Repeatedly he tried to convince himself that everything would be fine. Hoseok will be home soon and he wouldn’t be lonely any more in the future.

 

But it’s not as easy as he thought. On the one hand, his heart cried bitterly and had a white flag as a form of defeat. He was tired, and Taehyung admits it with a heavy heart. But on the other hand, when he remembered all the beautiful memories with Hoseok, he wants to stay and assured him that everything surely going to be fine if he is willing to be patient a little longer. And when he had reached his saturation point today, Taehyung fully realized that he couldn’t live without Hoseok on his side. Taehyung needs Hoseok beside him, the one who will always hug him when he tired, the one who will always smile to strengthen him, and the only one who will always love him no matter what.

.

.

.

.

‘Cause when I close my eyes and drift away,

I think of you and everything’s okay,

I’m finally now believing

That maybe it’s true,

I can’t live without you...

.

.

.

.

Dusk was approaching, but Taehyung still hadn’t moved from his seat. He almost gave up and went home with a handful of false hope in vain, before he heard the announcement that the last train will soon arrive in five minutes. Taehyung moved up from his seat and immediately stepped closer to the border of the platform as the train began to slow down the pace, then finally stopped right in front of him. Train doors began to open slowly and one by one the strangers began walking through Taehyung now circulate his views to all sides to find a silhouette of a dark-haired man that he missed.

 

But when all passengers have been dropped and the whole carriage was empty, Taehyung still couldn’t find a figure which he was looking for. Carriage door swung shut and the train began to move away from the station area. Taehyung exhale a disappointed sigh and then sat back in his place limply.

 

He stared at the railway and slowly he felt his eyes began to blur when his eyes had been flooded by tears. He didn’t want to cry, but now he just sobbed quietly with his head bowed in.

 

He was tired. Really tired. He was tired of waiting for something that is not certain. And he was tired because he never been able to stop expecting the presence Hoseok to be get back at his side.

 

After a while drowning in tears, Taehyung remove the traces of his tears violently and get ready to leave. But his movement stopped when he felt a pair of hands hug him from behind. Taehyung wanted to rebel and escape, but his heart told him to not give any resistance.

 

The hands embraced him more closely, and he could feel his heart stopped beating as the owner of the hand whispered, “I'm home.”

 

Taehyung immediately turned around and found a handsome well-built man, smiled softly at him. That was Hoseok. His Hoseok which he loved with all of his heart, his Hoseok which always make him waiting for his return in every year.

 

And the wait was worth it. Taehyung immediately threw himself into Hoseok’s arms of as he spread his hands, asking for a warm hug which he'd never felt over the last three years.

 

“You're back.” whispered Taehyung softly who shed his tears in the arms of his lover. “You're back.”

 

“I am back.” Hoseok repeating Taehyung’s words and hugged him tightly. He closed his eyes and kissed Taehyung head several times. “I'm sorry to keep you waiting too long.”

 

Taehyung took off his arms and shook his head. He wiped his tears and smiled sweetly. “It's okay. I'm glad to be the first to welcome your return.”

 

Hoseok smiled back and kissed his lips. “You don’t know how much I miss you.”

 

“So am I.” Taehyung reply without removing the smile on his face.

 

“It’s getting dark," said Hoseok as he took off his arms. “Let's go home .”

 

Taehyung nodded his head and let Hoseok held his hand. They finally started to leave that place with hands interlocked intimate, unwilling to let them go.

.

.

.

.

And finally, two is better than one...

.

.

.

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++_FIN_++