Chasing Memories of the Forgotten

story by Chariseuma

Excerpt:

After months of her sister's death, Eumji came into a realisation that she never knew her sister at all. With the help of friends, she's slowly uncovering the truth of Baek Hyunju's death

Critique Discussion:

Katerina93 Rose

I saw GOT7 and clicked on it LOL.
I'm gonna read it out of curiosity later. xD

Topu-Da Grey

Would you kill me if I said that I only read the first and the last chapter? Well, I ain't gonna judge on plot cause I didn't read all of it. So here's the rant.
-I ing hate the name Eumji. Reminds me of Eunji. But I like the character.
-I don't like the rest of the characters, specially the boy band, whatever the name is, cause they are to the main girl.

Katerina93 Rose

I haven't even read it yet, and Grey's words at the end made me lose interest in reading this fic so fast. Lol.

And I like GOT7 too. Such a shame~

Topu-Da Grey

@katerina93 IM SO SORRY!!! I don't want you to lose interest in it!

veelah veelah

Rose and Grey... lmao. No, why would I kill you? I'm not ready for jail time. You read whatever you want to read, you say whatever you want to say. That is our motto.

LOL, so there we have it. Girl character is a successful, likable character. The boys... not so much. xD

No shame, Rose. If you're not interested, you're not interested. Life goes on.

Katerina93 Rose

Yup lol.

Life goes on.

Katerina93 Rose

It is alright, Grey lol. It's just I don't like this -> "I don't like the rest of the characters, specially the boy band, whatever the name is, cause they are to the main girl."

If I'm gonna read about girl x guy fic, I don't want them treating the girl like . That turns me off. But I will still read it to see what you mean.

ann1914 goldfish ann

The warnings are enough to keep me away. Even more now from what Grey mentioned.

Katerina93 Rose

Grey's words can certainly make an impact. That's for sure hahaha xD

Topu-Da Grey

#10

Oh god the author will hate me for sure now.

Topu-Da Grey

#11

I didn't even read the rest of the chapters. Don't take my words for it. Come on.

Katerina93 Rose

#12

I'm just kidding hehe~ xD Idk why. I was in a teasing mood. Rare.

Don't know about Ann though. She was probably serious. Lol.

Katerina93 Rose

#13

I doubt the author will hate you if he or she request on this shop. They wanted honesty. So basically, he or she asked for it. Just saying. And if they do hate you for it, then they are being immature, overly sensitive creatures.

Topu-Da Grey

#14

i've already been reported countless times for my insensitiveness towards kpop and fanfictions. .

Katerina93 Rose

#15

I still don't get why though.

But I understand. I'm sorry, Grey.

Topu-Da Grey

#16

*need a cute puppy emoji* Thanks

Katerina93 Rose

#17

Oops. Typo lol.

Dog. Can you see it?
(V●ᴥ●V)

Katerina93 Rose

#18

More dogs.

Uo･ｪ･oU

ＵＴｪＴＵ

Topu-Da Grey

#19

AFF seriously needs a sticker app to show emotions. my eyes are sparkling btw. Love you Katerina!

Katerina93 Rose

#20

I totally agree!! *hugs you*

ann1914 goldfish ann

#21

I was 4.5/5 serious even without Grey's review, lol. I'm not fond of reading what's written on the warnings even if I like the group. Just personal preference. ^^;

Those dog emojis though...! Adorable!

Topu-Da Grey

#22

We are all so adorable. Unbearably adorable.

veelah veelah

#23

What the hell is going on in here?

Katerina93 Rose

#24

*dies laughing*

veelah veelah

#25

Excerpt is already scaring me away... "after months of her sister's death" tells me everything I need to do.... look the other way.

I'll remedy this excerpt just for kicks...

Months after her sister's tragic death, Eumji realises how little she knows her sister. With the help of friends, she's slowly uncovering the truth behind Baek Hyunju's death.

My biggest problem here is your change in tenses. "Came" is past. "Is" is present. Try to keep to one tense and not confuse the reader. It totally breaks the flow...

Generating more posts... complete.

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KaihleeLo #1 Sep 9, 2017 02:22:32

Chapter 10: Thank you for the critique, though this review was confusing as heck because of the layout I still was able to grasp the reviewers' insightful notes. Clinged should have been clung (obviously). I use google doc so it should automatically have a spell checker but it only checks to a certain degree, as you can see most of the time it doesn't catch . I don't plan to change "In the decades of 1800..." - maybe I'll write it as "In the 1800s" but - personally, I feel - yeah it's what you may find in a textbook; however, referring to a dynasty makes me feel I should now write accordingly to a specific non-fictional time period. And that's something I don't want to do.

I'm a very, in fact overly, descriptive writer and it's something I just naturally do. If I cut it down then I get this feeling that my readers wouldn't get the full picture I wanted to paint for them. But I will practice being even less descriptive (no lie, if you saw/read "Concealed Identity" some month ago you would want to strangle me). Thank goodness you for bringing up the formal and informal thing. I went back and forth with it so much I still don't know whether to keep it formal or informal. But when I get it figured out I'll go back make those changes. Overall I took a lot away from this 'discussion', even if it doesn't look like it. Thank you for being so quick with the review.

Ann - be prepared for some dense stuff in "Camellia On Top". I'll keep you in mind and try to make it less dense than "Concealed Identity" but no promises >_< due to the same reasons above.

KaihleeLo #2 Aug 10, 2017 19:51:05

Alrighty requested~ Thank you!

KellySeumilli #3 Aug 10, 2017 14:10:49

Hello ^^ I'd like to use my pass for a story critique ^^

KaihleeLo #4 Aug 10, 2017 07:13:02

Hello~ would love to use my pass for a story review.

chariseuma #5 Jul 17, 2017 04:36:42

Chapter 8: if anything i am grateful for ur honesty lmao there's no exactly romance in the story; it mainly focuses on the main character trying to find the truth of her sister

She's actually based on UMJI from g-friend and mate, i also happen to not like the name eunji but i thought whatever otl

Thanks for your honest comments and I'll be sure to check the tenses when I have the time

(Yes aff should have dog emojis lol)

chariseuma #6 Jul 6, 2017 04:16:44

Hiya I requested. Cheers x

sunflowerpots #7 Apr 16, 2017 01:59:38

Chapter 6: Dafaq. Hahahaha. There are Jose Rizal's minions here omg. Lol, I tried looking for reactions regarding the end part of the story but okay I had fun reading this. The story's trigger warned hence the 'subs only' so I really have no choice regarding that :)
The excerpt reading was quite nice, lol. I tried my best. XD thanks for this though.

ann1914 #8 Apr 16, 2017 01:48:51

Chapter 7: The title and recording for this chapter are amazing, lol.

sunflowerpots #9 Apr 3, 2017 10:36:38

I requested. *I'm definitely excited*

jenmarenchenjihae #10 Apr 2, 2017 21:44:40

I requested, it was quite hard.

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Chasing Memories of the Forgotten - Chariseuma

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