"By the way, congratulations, I heard you were nominated in the daesang award again this year, Golden Disk Award, is it?" his hairdresser asked, as she styled his hair for the awarding of GDA that night. "I heard your song, it's really wonderful."

"Thanks." Kim Jaejoong said, offering her a small smile. He glanced at himself in the mirror, and for the first time, he gave a silent thank you to his prep team, for making him look wonderful when in the inside, he was such a wasteland.

After putting on his coat, and applying some last touches, his manager nodded at him. "The show will start at 7pm. After that, we'll have to attend the after-party," his manager said as they walked outside their agency's building. He scribbled some notes on his pad, then continued. "Tomorrow, we'll start filming JYJ's come back, and record your songs before the day ends."

He nodded, inwardly wishing for his manager to shut up. "And oh, Jung Yunho would be in GDA too, I don't know what category he's in but I really do expect that you'll behave accordingly, Jaejoong."

He nodded again, of course, he knew Yunho would be there. Jung Yunho, he tightly closed his eyes as their memories, as their wonderful memories flashed before him. Years and lifetimes ago, they were in the same band, DBSK. They were so close, so happy, and they shared a beautiful friendship before it lead to love.

It was two years after they debuted that he felt something toward him, as he did to him. They spent their time falling in love with each other more every passing day. They were so happy. But a love where no one gets hurt doesn't exist.

After years of making love, a case brought them pain, and eventually set them apart. It wasn't his choice. It was Yunho's. 

And as he climbed into their car, he remembered Yunho's words, spoken over damp pillow cases in the dead of their last night together. "No, Jae. I have to stay here in SM. I have to stay so I can have access about your case, so I can protect you from Youngmin. For the mean time, we'll call, we'll text, and if we manage to escape, we'll meet once a month. I'll call you every night, I'll message you about what's happening here, and you, you just have to live. Do your best in JYJ, and look after Junsu and Yoochun for me, okay? I'll be here to support you, and don't worry, someday, JYJ and DBSK will be one again. And someday, we'll have the courage to run away from the things that make us miserable, until then, do your best, I'll do mine too. And remember that I love you."

They did call, and exchanged countless of messages, went out for a day once a month, but SM was an influential and big company. With their case ongoing, the calls eventually stopped. There were no mesages and no time to see each other. It was only after two months that he learned the truth, it came from Changmin. And he said that SM confiscated Yunho's phone and put him on grounds, after they saw them together one night. That's when he gave Yunho up, no, it's not because he was giving their love up, but because it's the only way to protect him from the manipulative hands of his former management. Yes. That's what they do. Protect each other.

Now, after two years since their story ended, he still love him, but what could he do? What could they do? They were tied with their long-term contracts and they were being manipulated by unseen forces. 

A cough brought him back to present, and he realized they had reached the place where the awarding would be held. He wanted to throw up, as the anxiety swelled inside him. As he climbed out of their car, he realized he's trembling. But he shrugged it off because once he stepped out of the car, the blinding lights of camera flashes invaded his vision. He forced himself to smile, smiling at the camera as he walked down the red carpet, answering some questions asked, trying his best not to puke. Trying to ignore the fact that for the first time in two years, he would be in the same place as Jung Yunho. Part of him ached with longing, because Yunho was so close, so near yet so untouchable. 

As he slipped inside the hall, he plastered his smile, greeting his co-artists. He find Junsu and Yoochun among the crowd. Spotting BoA, his best friend next, and he gave her a smile. She winked at him and nodded. Then, he felt someone touched his arm, and he find Leeteuk grinning at him. He grinned back too, before bowing at him. Then, among the crowd, among the countless of people, he find him. Jung Yunho, he's wearing a white coat with a black tie and he was walking to his way with hurried yet careful steps.

He held his breath as he noticed his eyes, they have the same eyes, and storms were in their eyes. Yunho was marching to him, and when they were a meter away from each other, Yunho stopped, holding his gaze.

Around them, the camera came in rolling, the flashes came, and murmurs began to echo through the hall. Everything was being recorded. Everything they do would be filmed and it would be watched by their management's and then what? They would be punished for their disobedience. He blinked his eyes, shifted his feet as he altered his gaze, but then, slowly, so slowly, Yunho lifted his hand, offering it to him. He looked at him with longing, and he swallowed the lump on his throat.

Then, in an instant, everything around them seemed to disappear, and he couldn't hear anything but their heartbeats. Dug. Dug. Dug. Dug. 

He looked at Yunho, then at his waiting hand and he smiled because he had read the words that was unspoken. 

Run away with me. 

And when he finally nodded, Yunho grinned, closed the distance between them as the camera flashes came, and he grabbed his hand. Awed expressions and gasped came as they run passed the hall's front doors, as they passed the paparazzis. But they didn't stopped running. Not when Yunho's manager yelled vicious threats or when his manager called his name, not when photographers came in their way, not when the whole world seemed to stop them.

Once on Yunho's car, they continued to held hands. As they run away, they never looked back. Then, Yunho glanced at him, bringing his hands to his cheek. "I missed you, Jae." he said, eyes freed from the clouded look. He smiled at him, leaned in over and kissed his cheek. "I missed you too, Ho." he replied, Yunho squeezed his hand.

As they run with the lights of the city, going to nowhere, leaving everything behind, they finally cried, letting the tears they had withheld for too long. After the tears had dried, they smiled at each other, love visible in them, and in their faces, real smiles were etched.