“You can’t just sit at home all day!” Tao’s mother exclaimed, pinning her youngest child with a stern gaze, “You need to go and do something!”

“I’ll work on my artwork and get ready for college! That’s not sitting doing nothing!” Tao fired back, feeling his anger simmer.

“It’s basically nothing! You need to get a job or just do something!” his mother cried, her tone getting more exasperated.

“I don’t want to get a job!” Tao cringed as soon as he said it, “I sound like some spoiled brat saying that.”

“And why is that exactly?” came the next question, Tao’s mother crossing her arms as she waited for a proper answer.

Tao faltered, trying to decide what to say to his mother that wouldn’t completely piss her off but also not make her overly concerned.

The truth of the matter was that Tao was tired. He was tired from school and just…life he supposed. Sounded stupid but really Tao couldn’t think of a more “eloquent” way to say it sounding concerning. School was easy to understand as a reason, but the rest not so much. He just felt exhausted and frustrated and he wasn’t sure why. Burnout would be the most obvious answer and while it was a part of it, it didn’t feel right to contribute all of that exhaustion to it. Was it from just the exhaustion from trying to navigate the social side of school for so long with people who were very much not incredibly inviting? Eh, maybe. Honestly he just was not sure, there were tons of things that could be it, but there wasn’t any solid thing that Tao could pin down for a reason.

It would also sound incredibly concerning if he were to say “I’m just tired” and then his mom would get concerned and then it’d all spiral down and yeah no Tao knew this song and dance and it wasn’t a great one.

Besides, it’s not like he could get the words out properly to make a valid argument nor could he do it quickly enough for the one he’s talking to to not get frustrated that he was taking so long.

“I’m waiting Tao!” his mother’s voice broke through his thoughts, and Tao just looked at his mother before coming up with the best answer possible.

“Because I make money from my artwork through people seeing my stuff online and wanting to purchase it and by doing that I can improve my art and business skills, things I really want to be able to use for my future. Plus, I still have wushu which can keep me active,” he said, looking as his mother considered his words for a moment before her gaze was once again a bit...fiery.

“While I admit that wushu does give you something to work with, the rest of it isn’t a job Tao, and you know it,” she said, and Tao was just ready to bang his head on the wall, “Find a job or something productive to do or else I’ll kick you out and not let you back into this house until you find a job.”

“WHAT?!” he exclaimed, feeling both hurt by her dismissal of something that really did cost time and earn him money but also astonished at such a declaration.

“You heard me,” she said, turning around and beginning to walk out of the kitchen, “I did it to your oldest sister and your brother, don’t think I won’t do it to you. You’re 18, you’re an adult so you can figure this out. I’m going to be doing some work in my office if you need me.”

And with that, she left. Tao looked at the floor for a few moments, his emotions completely scrambled as he closed his eyes and said in a low whisper, “I just turned 18 a month ago, I can’t just figure this out as an adult when I don’t even know what being an adult means…”

Reopening his eyes, Tao looked at his hand as if he could find an answer there before closing it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. 

With a deep breath, he slowly made his way to the basement. He wanted, no, needed to be alone for a bit. He needed to cool off and get his mind back into working order before he went about trying to solve anything.

    Making his way to his drawing desk felt a bit like an out of body experience, but once he got to the chair he moved it towards his digital art desk. Taking off his glasses and gingerly putting them by the monitor, Tao proceeded to fold his arms and tip forward to rest his forehead on them. He took a shuddering breath before closing his eyes.

    There wasn’t anything particular going through his mind, really it was just a bunch of emotions swirling around. There was frustration at his mother for not seeing what he did as worthwhile. There was dread at the thought of going back into working with the public and dealing with examples of how awful people can be. There was that bone-deep exhaustion whose sources remained unknown. But, most prominently, there was anger. Some of it was at his mother for her dismissal, but most of it was towards himself for not being able to do what his mother would see as right or a solution.

    Anger that even though he really was trying to do the right thing, he still somehow messed it up.

    He curled one of his hands into a fist as well as clenched his jaw, feeling the tremors running through his hand and the strain he was placing onto his jaw muscles. He didn’t say anything, didn’t make any noises, only tightened his fist further and bit down even harder when he felt warm tears begin to slowly leak from his closed eyes.

    And the worst part? The worst part about this whole disaster of a conversation and its aftermath? This wasn’t new, this had happened before. He had failed before, and he had failed again. And that just made Tao even more angry which caused more tears to appear.

    For a bit, he just stayed like that, head down and grabbing his emotions to get them in check. It took a bit and he definitely felt like screaming more than a few times, but through sheer stubbornness and willpower he pulled himself together.

    Sitting up, Tao opened his eyes and blinked as more tears spilled down his cheeks. He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, wiping away every drop from his face and desk before reaching over to grab his glasses. With a crack of his knuckles, and a mental smack to himself of “C’mon Tao you’re an adult now you can handle this”, he moved the chair a bit to start typing while he slipped the black frames onto his face. Meltdown time was over, time to find a solution.

    Opening probably too many tabs, Tao had several open to start looking for a job, but he paused before he actually began to look. There was...one other thing he could look for before he prepared to shackle his soul to working with the general public for the summer.

    He quickly typed out something and soon he was scrolling through, eyes scanning the screen to try and find what he was looking for. And eventually, he found it. And when he saw what it was, he gave a small smile.

    Looks like there was something else other than being stuck in retail that he could do.

-------------------------------------------------

    “Am I too early or too late?” Tao thought as he sat on a bench in a hall, “and why is this always a problem for me? You’d think after all these years I’d know if my timing is great or awful but nooooooooo.”

    Mentally groaning, Tao pulled out his phone, deciding to scroll through Instagram to kill some time. Technically, he was a bit early, but if Tao was anything then mildly anxious for new situations was definitely it. Which was normal, but that didn’t make him feel better about it.

    He felt like he had drank too much coffee and was forced to play Whac-a-mole when really all he was waiting for was to meet with a person for a few minutes to discuss the summer and then he’d be free. It was dumb, but again, it was new and the human brain isn’t exactly the friendliest when it comes to new things. And Tao’s brain seemed to especially be against them because (or at least to Tao) it hated him.

    Scrolling past a few posts, Tao looked at one that seemed to be fashion designs. Intrigued, he studied them a bit closer. There was one for a woman and the other for a man, but honestly Tao thought that either one could work for either gender. He glanced further down the image, seeing that they were supposedly both inspired by...a feather?

    Even more curious, Tao looked at the caption to see what the heck the person was talking about.

    As he read about how the artist had found a magpie feather on the ground and had taken various photos of it from different angles (and the mild embarrassment they felt while doing so), Tao couldn’t help but chuckle at the image of someone just shoving their phone super close to a bird feather to achieve the correct reference image. He also became fascinated as he read the slight bit about how magpies were important to their culture so they couldn’t help but wa