Effervescence

(n) Bubbles in a liquid

**

Malicious comments, apprehensive countenance, inaccessible desire, Irene was twenty five, twenty six in her country, but she'd gone through what most her age didn’t. Either good or bad, satisfying or disappointing, Irene had countered them all.

Sometimes she wondered, deep in the latest hour of the night, close to the earliest time of the approaching day, whether this career of hers came as a bless or a curse. And when her daydream touched the subject, it was as if she had been gulped down into another world.

Her peers that she was still in touch with were all enjoying life the fullest. Most of them were fortunate, and Irene was as glad as ever, because although she had been associated with a low degree of temperature and an unapproachable beauty, which often was misunderstood, she was a softie at heart. 

But really, every time her classmate shared their recent experience, like hiking a mountain, or traveling around the Europe, or the simplest was hanging out at the mall, Irene would feel this stifling sensation on her chest that got her fuming. Then there was this knife of regret, gracing over her skin so oppressively yet discreetly that before she knew, blood was already dripping and lost was her chance to scream.

She blamed the impending explosion of regret.

What would happen if she didn't meet the neat, strange man that day during her high school? Could she hike a mountain? Travel from city to city? Buy groceries without having to cradle her bag close to her chest in fear of shutters of unknown cameras?

Knock knock.

Irene blinked as her vision suddenly zoomed out into the place she was in. Foams floating around her body, warm, steamy water concealed majority of her tense body, and a soaked curtain hanging by the top of the bathtub. She lifted a hand, cautiously, nervously, and sighed when she felt the bum that was her dry, tied hair.

Good, she hadn’t ruin two hours of work of her stylist.

Knock knock.

Came the third and forth knocks, following with an, "Unnie?"

Yup, she was lost yet again on her reveries.

Recognizing the voice by heart, which wasn’t that difficult really as they had been living together for years and knowing each other for one or two more years (Wendy time to practice had never been favorable but Irene still listened until she fell asleep and dream was Wendy serenading her until she fell into another sleep) she nodded, shook her head, then replied.

"Come in," she wasn't aware of how edgy she sounded until there was no respond after five seconds she waited. Therefore she added, providing a form of reassurance, "It's not locked."

Then Wendy entered ever so casually, the sleeves of her white blouse were rolled up until her elbows clumsily, revealing the muscles and veins Irene had seen countless of times during a host of occasions. Wendy wore a look of indifferent, the one that she rarely displayed because her work was to smile, to be happy. Though when her eyes connected with Irene’s, she crouched down for them to be on the same level, fingertips radiating heat on this particular area of skins of Irene’s right forearm, and smiled.

"Five minutes until we go?"

"They have called?"

"Not yet," Wendy shrugged. "But I suppose there won’t be one because it’s you we are talking about and you have always been their favorite."

That was another way of saying, 'Because you are the leader and they expect you to know.'

Irene exhaled quietly, gathering the cluster of bubbles seen on the surface closer to the visible part of body, hiding the underneath. Wendy did have seen more, have seen deeper, have seen it all, and each time she never forgot to remind her how beautiful she was and that she worth more than that alone. However Irene had always been timid. But that's just part of her quality, being awkwardly shy and cute despite her age.

Wendy glanced at her knowingly, but said nothing else, as she had seen this solemn countenance of Irene before and she had learnt that Irene was up for no tease. Wendy outstretched her hand, massaging Irene's white, fair shoulder lightly with her thumb, the hem of her clothes seeping a small amount of water.

"But we can stay for another minute if you want." Wendy offered kindly, noticing the reluctance and the absence of movement from the older girl. Irene was indeed a child at heart. "You take your time changing your clothes later while I'll prepare the snacks the others have requested before we went here, so no seconds will be wasted."

Irene's worst enemy was words and so she beckoned to Wendy. "Come closer?"

Wendy did what she was told and grinned when a pair of lips greeted her cheek briefly. So innocent, warring the fact that Irene was literally in front of her.

"You're the most welcome unnie."

And then Wendy straightened her legs, removing her hand away from Irene. Irene was close to questioning until she saw Wendy tugging her black, skinny jeans upward and pulling her rolled-up sleeve higher as well.

When Wendy partially joined her inside, sitting by the end of the tub, back presses against the wall, Irene found herself in between Wendy's legs, Wendy's feet brushed against her side. She lolled her head to Wendy's thigh, staring up at the same time Wendy stared down at her, her lopsided smile showing.

"Have you ever regret Seungwan?" 

The pad of Seungwan's fingers caressed her forehead lightly, magically, and surreally.

"In what kind of particular thing, Joohyun?"

Joohyun hummed, her toes peeking out from under the water. She caught a reflection of herself on the overflow plate, with mascara and blush and lipstick, sitting rigidly like a deer in headlight. That until she remembered Seungwan was here. She relaxed almost immediately; the side of her temple resting on Seungwan's hips.

"In everything." Joohyun breathed out.

Joohyun missed her home, missed her family, missed the call of roosters in the morning, missed the myriad of stars adorning the night sky, missed the field, missed the humid air, missed the name Joohyun.

Seungwan surely had something she missed, didn’t she?

It was Seungwan's turned to hum and Joohyun took this as a chance to marvel how Seungwan was so understanding and just one of a kind, a tulip in a group of roses, a rarity in this dullness of world.

"I have," Seungwan confessed and wasn’t ashamed to it. "I miss my parents, my sister and all the things I think it's normal to miss." Seungwan paused, as though she was contemplating whether to mention more or not, but nodded in satisfied when she found there was nothing more to mention at all. Instead, she asked Joohyun, who was rather baffled at how easy Sengwan made the situation look. "Want me to wash your hair?"

At lost for words at the unexpected answer, Joohyun nodded absentmindedly, shrieking when Seungwan went over her to grab the showerhead and showered her with cold water. She screeched and whipped around.

"Seungwan!"

"What?" Seungwan pushed the showerhead away before dropping it gently, looking down to Joohyun with wide eyes that restricted Joohyun from being mad. "You always ask for cold water when we are in salon!"

A tad flustered, Joohyun denied. "I did not! And that's not what I meant!" Though Seungwan was bemused, she indignantly continued. "What if stylist unnie gets angry when she sees me-"

"What are you worrying about, really Joohyun? You’re just gonna get your hair washed." Seungwan cut her off, disapproval lingering by the tip of her tongue.

Joohyun wanted to protest, because for her it was much more than to get her hair washed. It was about her job, whether her stylist could fix her make-up on time, whether she could turn her long, straight brown hair wavy again. But even that sounded so absurd in her head and actually turned her into a she wasn’t. Furthermore she failed to verbally express it properly and therefore she looked away dejectedly, waving her hands around under water, fighting the pressure of the soapy liquid slipping in between her fingers, creating bubbles. Effervescence.

"Now I see what's bothering you." Seungwan announced sternly, stopping the train of her thoughts. "And I swear it's not healthy Hyun."

"But I feel confined.." Joohyun muttered, clenching and unclenching her palms this time. Hiding behind the bush was redundant. This was Seungwan she was talking with. "I know I should feel grateful, but there's too much demand, too much expectation. It's heavy Seungwan, I can't stand it.."

"And this is the road you have chosen." Joohyun was sure Seungwan replied her whines ever so tenderly and patiently, and that may be the reason why she felt this ineffable nausea by the pit of her stomach and the sting on her eyeballs, because even Joohyun was sick of her unsure self, sick of how she used to desire the spotlight, used to be hungry of it.

But recently she had realized how tempted she was with control and how those temptation ended up controlling her that when she looked in the mirror, the reflection was nothing like Joohyun. Just Irene and Irene.

Joohyun willingly let herself being turned around by Seungwan and let Seungwan cupped her face, framing it with her hands, thumbs resting on her cheeks, wiping the tears that had escaped without her consent.

"I know it's hard, sorrowful, dark, annoying," Seungwan started off. Joohyun saw another side of herself on the vast space behind Seungwan's pupils, the fragile, weak and hopeless side, and realized that they had never been void, Seungwan's orbs, always filled with emotions and loves, speaking in behalf of its owner.

When Seungwan sighed, the image of her wavered. "I miss a lot of thing Joohyun, some I can't even pinpoint out the shape of it. But hey, I met a lot of great people along the way! I met our members, met our friendly managers, met our helpful seniors. I met you."

Joohyun thought the air was vibrating by the end of Seungwan's sentence. So much meaning, so much weight, Seungwan was so earnest, so genuine. Joohyun's ears were pleased, her heart was calmed and her nerve never reached the point of breaking. She plopped her arm to Seungwan's thigh, her hand reaching for Seungwan's lowest button, nipping them mindlessly.

"Say it again?" Joohyun prompted desperately, being a bit too needy. At this point, the foam had failed to cover her body, but she didn’t care. She was greedy. Greedy for a vestige of assurance that had somewhat fading over the week.

Seungwan didn’t say no. She had never said no to Joohyun. If Joohyun wanted it, she gave it, even if it meant she wanted her to catch the shooting stars for her.

"I met you." Seungwan repeated. It felt like an eye opening to Joohyun and suddenly that was all what really mattered. "I met you and it cease the longing of home that used to nestle within me and you put me into confidence."

Then they shared a kiss or two, or maybe even three, as both now were drenched from head to toe, that including Joohyun's hair and Seungwan's jeans. The minutes passed by slowly, as though they were on their side, letting the two girls have the rest they deserved. 

Seungwan blew comforts to Joohyun's lips, muttering things that Joohyun was grateful of, did things upon impulses and instinct that invariably happened when they were put in the same room. And Joohyun loved the way Seungwan grunted when their teeth clash, the way Seungwan's abs tightened under her nails and the way Seungwan yelped when Joohyun splashed water to her face, shouting Joohyun's names for her to stop, albeit the giggle served anything but irritated.

Joohyun loved it when Seungwan called her by her real name and not by her stage name.

As it ease the craving of being who she truly was.

And suddenly the invading remorse was no longer presented; popped out like ascending bubbles in a liquid.

Only Seungwan, Seungwan and Seungwan.

And Joohyun loved it.

**

A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry if there's any mistakes or errors. Comment and tell me what do u think about it ^^