Pride, Prejudice, and Pretty Boys – Episode 8: The Promise, Part Two

“Oppa, what do like best about me?” I ask, cutely batting my eyelashes at the sullen-faced man sitting across the table from me. I throw up my arms to protect my face as my volatile hyung suddenly rises from his seat and our fans all laugh and tell me that I’m adorable.

“Leo, sit. This is the kind of image our Starlights re~ally like,” N-hyung teases, grabbing his buddy by the shoulders and forcing him back into his seat. And as if he had eyes on the back of his head, N-hyung catches Hongbinnie by his shirt collar before our visual could roll himself off the stage in his chair. Darn. I was going to roll around, too—“Jaehwan-ah—Ken, don’t even think about it.”

And then Wonshikkie just laughs and clears his throat, signaling us to move to the next segment of our fan meeting. “OK, so—“

“Leo-hyung?”

“What?” Hyung replies groggily, slightly annoyed because I had just woken him up as he was dozing off in our van.

“Do you have any sisters?”

Taekwoon-hyung blinks once, then twice, and rolls his eyes. “Don’t even think about it. If Ravi doesn’t want you near his sister, why would I introduce you to my noona?”

“Noooo, like . . . do you have any younger sisters? I just remembered this girl—“

“Your ex?”

“Yes—wait, how did you know? Leo-hyung!” I pout as he turns away from me, sliding down in his seat to sleep more comfortably.

“Jaehwan-ah, get some sleep, we have a lot of fan meets today,” Hakyeon-hyung nags from the front seat, pulling out an earbud as he turned around. “And you know my Taekwoonie only has older sisters. How long have we all known each other, now?”

Sticking out my lower lip, I hear Hakyeon-hyung chuckle and say, “He’s mad now, how cute,” before he replaced his earbud and turned back to face the front. Sighing, I look out the window, counting the cars zooming around our van as we continued down the highway to our next schedule . . .

But . . . why didn’t I realize this about you back then? How you always looked a little grumpy . . . Your face back then kind of reminds me of how Taekwoon-hyung looks now . . .

I stare at the reflection of the back of Taekwoon-hyung’s head in the tinted window and sigh. Nah, I take that back. You were always prettier than Hamtaro.

“What kind of girl is oppa’s ideal type?” I repeated the question, smiling as my babies answered me.

“The question is more like what kind of girl does Ken-hyung not like,” laughs Hongbin. “Augh!” That, because Leo-hyung had marked him with a magic marker while his guard was down.

“Uhh . . . My ideal type is—“

And I can’t help but think of you. Smart, beautiful-- grumpy and cold at times—but always honest and sincere. All those times you nearly scared me into a premature death when you glared at me or saw that my grades were slipping, all those time you corrected my homework . . . and all those times you were secretly rotting inside and didn’t come to me. All those times that I just stood outside and watched you cry alone, because I was too busy to keep my promises. I glanced down at my phone under the table; May 23^rd. Ah, so today is the day we really broke up . . .

I force a smile, looking down the table at Leo-hyung and Hongbin. “Hongbin is right, there isn’t a girl I don’t like—“ I chuckle at the collective hey that my babies let out; they were unsatisfied with my answer. “Oppa likes a girl with a lot of aegyo, just like my babies! Heart-ddyuu!” You didn’t have much aegyo, and you were as tough as a box of nails sometimes, but . . . I guess that’s why I should’ve held on to you more. I’m sorry. I promised you that I would become a cool man that you could depend on, but . . .

And the fan meeting went on as any other fan meeting would; Hyukkie threw Leo-hyung and Hongbin around like dead fish, N-hyung nagged us and denied ever making mistakes, Ravi kicked us while he was sleeping in the waiting room, Hongbin laughed a lot, and I just clowned around and got yelled at for taking things too far.

“Lee Jaehwan, why aren’t you in school?” I flinched at my mom’s tone as I came home from skipping cram school. But then I took a deep breath, carefully shifting my weight as I kicked off both shoes to avoid dropping you. “Mom?” I called out timidly. Then I cleared my throat. There was no way that I could be scared, not now, and not ever again. I will become a cool man that you can always lean on. “Mom!”

“Jae—“ and mom just stopped as she rounded the corner with a spatula in her hand. “Goodness, what happened? Young Eunnie?” She drops the spatula, helping me into our house with you on my back.

After depositing you in mom’s room, I went back to the door. Turning, I give my always-worrying mom a cheeky smile and two-finger salute. “I’ll go to school now, mom, so don’t hit me, OK?”

“But what about Young Eunnie—“

“She’s just a little tired from studying so much, mom,” I lied, slipping back into my shoes. You were actually tired because of a lot of things, and one of those things was me. Because I never kept my promises, because I was always busy, because I-- “Bye!”

“Jaehwan, wait—“

And the day was over, our schedules were done, so we all went home . . . I was tired, and everyone was teasing me, so I guess I must have snapped at them, so they all left me alone once we keyed into our dorm.

My feet just stop in front of one of my suitcases, and I kneel next to it, ping it even as it stood upright to dig out a small box that was buried somewhere deep inside. Opening the box, I stare at all the wallet pictures that we took in the photobooth . . .

I still remember that day I found you crying in the music room after school. You were a mess, but I was afraid that I would only hurt you more, so I guess that’s why I ran away and left you with my mom. You broke up with me three months ago, after all. And actually, it wasn’t just that day . . . I found you crying in the music room often, and all I could do was watch. You always sang whenever you were hurting, and your voice was so clear . . . I had promised you that I would become a cool man that you could always depend on, one that earned a lot of money so that you could live comfortably in a house with a yard and some sheep.

Looking at our pictures, I realize that you really don’t look like Leo-hyung; I guess I just went crazy from missing you. After my mom took care of you, we went on with our lives as if nothing happened, as if we had never broken up. And I made more promises to you;

“I promise you that I won’t ever lie to you again.”

I broke that promise when I told you I was at a hyung’s house studying two weeks before your birthday; I was in the practice room with the guys getting ready for our debut.

“I promise you that I’ll throw a party for you this year for your birthday.”

I broke that promise when I got called back to the company to re-do a few recordings . . .

“I promise you that I will never let you go again.”

I broke that promise when I became “Ken.” It was your birthday; May 23^rd, but that became the day that we really broke up for good.

But I didn’t realize that “good-bye” would be so final as I stood at your grave earlier this year . . . Because you died that day, because I didn’t keep my promise to hold on to you. And just like that, you’d jumped out of my life forever . . .

// The Promise, Part Two

20170620 - Fighting writer's block and offline stress~

Anywho, yes, I wrote Ken into a tragedy like I said I would~ It's choppy, but writer's block is a nasty little booger. And how the OC died will be left up to the reader, but Jaedelle prefers to imply suicide from factors that include depression from the loss of her uncle in part 1. Hopefully the next installment will be happy T.T

And btw, this is Ken's PoV.