Pride, Prejudice, and Pretty Boys – Episode 4: Words to Say

“You’re probably the only man in the world that’s in love with a woman who knows how to seriously kick some balls, hyung,” Hongbin remarks from the bench, crossing his legs as Taekwoon’s girlfriend shot him an annoyed glance from the park grass where she was tending to her boyfriend.

“Hongbin!” Noona chides, returning her attention to the man curled into fetal position around a soccer ball. “Taekwoonie, I’m so sorry! Are you OK?”

Well. Today had been a beautiful day off. Taekwoon had managed to wake up before Hakyeon, so he’d slipped out of their dorm without being interrogated by his friend. And the satanic maknae was off filming in China until early next week, so today had started off very nicely. And his Noona was free today, too, so they had spent it on one very romantic date. Until Hongbin arrived just in time to see Noona shoot the winning goal by failing a basic ball pass. Even though it technically wasn’t Hongbin’s fault that the ball Noona had tried to kick to him ended up nailing him “where the sun don’t shine,” Taekwoon really wanted to blame his younger friend for his suffering. Better to blame Hongbin than blame his Noona, he rationalized. Plus Hongbin’s laughter fanned the flames of his temper that much higher.

“Hongbinnie . . . go away,” he mutters darkly into the grass, turning away from his girlfriend to hide just how much he was hurting from being hit down there. Struggling to block off all the pain signals that where exploding all over his brain and groin, the fallen man unfolds himself and lets his Noona help him to his feet and over to the bench where an overly-amused, handsome devil-king was sitting. And grinning widely enough to give the Joker a run for his money.

“But . . . Why is Hongbin here?” Noona asks meekly, gently brushing grass and dirt off of Taekwoon’s back as she stood behind him. “Isn’t today your day off, too?”

“Mm, it was. I went to see a movie with Chanshikkie,” Hongbin replies, grinning wider as he saw how watery and red his hyung’s eyes still were. “But I’m here to pick hyung up. Our managers want you back at the dorm before the paparazzi or whoever catches you.”

Feeling that pang of not wanting to leave her side, Taekwoon reaches over his shoulder for her pale hand, catching it and squeezing it tightly. Turning his head a little, he stares at those round, dark, rabbit-like eyes and shaggy black hair—shaggy, because she was in the process of growing it back out, not because it looked bad—and he feels words forming on his lips, but he hesitates to say them as she just smiles softly and knowingly at him.

“It’s OK, Taekwoonie, I understand,” she says gently, squeezing his hand back reassuringly. She keeps smiling to hide how much she didn’t want him to go, because she knew that his career was more important than her right now. But she was still glad that he was well-loved by everyone, so her smile was still genuine. “I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.”

“Because I’m an idol,” Leo says, looking down at his feet. “Noona—“

“You in the TV, me in front of the TV; that’s how we date . . . It’s OK, really—“

“Noona—“ I--

“Anyway, Hongbin, be nice to Taekwoonie,” Noona interrupts, lightly punching Hongbin’s shoulder with her free hand. “Remember that this noona ‘knows how to seriously kick some balls.’ Be nicer to Hakyeon, too, and tell him I said ‘hi,’ OK?” Letting go of Leo’s hand as he got up, she gets ready to say what they always said at the end of their dates, but those words are cut off as he turned around and leaned down, kissing her lightly on the lips.

“Hyung!”

“Taekwoonie, people are watching!”

What people? Only Hongbin is here right now. Taekwoon mused, deciding not to be cheeky as his Noona blushed. And those words bubble on his lips again, but he swallows them and says, “I had fun today, Noona,” instead.

“Huh? Oh, yeah . . . me, too. Hope we can meet up again soon.”

“Until then, take good care of Leo, Noona,” Hongbin says, wrapping an arm around his hyung’s shoulders and dragging him away.

“Huh?”

“Your cat. You know, the black cat with the white sock you named after Taekwoon-hyung? We’ll take good care of Hamtaro if you take good care of Leo-yang—“

“For the last time, I am NOT a hamster—“

“You came to pick me up?” Taekwoon said sulkily as they reached the park gates. “Since when do you have a car?”

“I don’t; manager-hyung drove with me,” replies the younger man, flicking a sideways glance at his hyung. “But you do remember that discussion we all had with the company, right?”

Hunching his shoulders and slipping his hands into his jean pockets, Leo just stares at the gravel beneath his feet as they walk a few more blocks to where their car was parked. “I remember . . . but our boss never said we couldn’t date.”

“But he also told us not to get caught,” sighs Hongbin, pushing his fringe back as it began to stick to his forehead because of the humid summer air. “This really isn’t my place to say, but no one else wants to say it . . . If hyung gets caught, Noona could get hurt—“

And at that phrase, Taekwoon halts mid-step as Hongbin was about to round the corner into the alley where the car was. Sure, he’d thought about Starlights feeling hurt and angry if they found out. Sure, he’d thought about the company staff and PR department going through hell to cover for him if he got caught. Sure, he’d thought about how the public might criticize and curse him for his relationship with Noona. But he hadn’t thought about the possibility of Noona getting hurt—because of him—because he’d been so sure that he’d be able to take on whatever the world threw at him.

“—because the paparazzi will rip her apart for the inside scoop or at least blow things out of proportion. Hyung, you can’t take everything the world has to throw at you, I mean, look at what happened with the soccer ball—ow!” That, because his volatile hyung decided to pinch his neck. Hard. “I think our Starlights are mature enough to accept it if their oppas are happy, but . . . paparazzi and the public will be different, you know?”

“Is that why you broke up with your girlfriend?”

“Hey, this isn’t about me—“

“You were upset earlier this week . . .”

Hongbin sighs, smiling wryly as he realizes again how Leo much noticed within their team, despite the fact that the man often preferred to keep to himself. Climbing into the car behind his hyung, he says, “I didn’t break up with her, yet. But I’m thinking about it, for her sake.”

“Because of other peoples’ opinions?”

“Because it’s not fair to her when I say ‘I love you’ to our fans more times in a day than I have ever said to her in the months we’ve been together. I can’t put her first.”

“ . . .” Leo sighs, buckling his seatbelt as their manager turned the ignition. Hongbin had a point . . . He was happy to be successful as an idol and grateful for their fans and everything, but . . . Sometimes he wished he wasn’t an idol.

“You’re not an idol; you’re Wonshikkie’s rabid hamster that loves biting people,” laughs the artwork, reading his hyung’s mind. “If it works out between hyung and Noona, I think our fans would have fun joking about ‘Vixx’s REAL mom and dad’ and N-hyung would become your jealous ex or something.”

Leo snorts, plugging in his headphones. Hongbin’s remarks had an odd effect on him sometimes; usually, they annoyed him, but right now, those comments made him feel a lot less guilty about being a man in love.

“But hyung, between your kiss scene in Mata Hari and Noona—“

“Shut up.”

Numbly, Leo stares out the van window as this year’s first snow floats down gently from the night sky outside. The last few hours of today had felt so unreal; it felt as if his entire world had just broken down in that one moment when he checked his voice mail after work.

“Hyung, she’ll be OK,” Wonshik tries to say, glancing over at Hyuk for help, but the maknae chooses to remain silent. “Hamjji?”

“What?” Leo asks, sounding a bit irate. He turns in his seat to face his two younger friends, fighting to reign in his temper and pull in all his emotions so they wouldn’t show. “We have another filming schedule in a few hours. Go to sleep.”

Sighing and shaking his head, Hyuk reclines his seat and closes his eyes, almost wishing that he had gotten onto N’s van, instead. Because Leo’s mood made the air far too heavy to breathe, never mind sleep. But then again, all six of them were worried about Noona; they found out from Leo that she had gotten into an accident while trying to dodge paparazzi and was in critical condition. The worst part of all this was that none of them could get out of their schedules to see her; she wasn’t family or more than just a friend, and Leo couldn’t put her first. She was just a friend that they all hung out with occasionally, since Leo hadn’t been caught even after all this time. But the paparazzi had been so close to busting them . . . and maybe it would have been better for Noona and Taekwoon if they did get caught—

Thinking back to a few months ago—or was it a lifetime ago—when they played football at the park and he got nailed, he remembers those words that he couldn’t say to her back then. And as he wonders if he ever said those words to her, he feels something hot sliding down his cheek.

“I’ll try to make an opening in your schedule tomorrow so you can see her,” his manager says, his voice full of understanding.

“You don’t have to—“

“I said I’ll try, no guarantees. But you might—regret it—or just become all distant and un-loveable again and be a handful for the company if she . . . you know?”

“Thanks, hyung—“

“Like I said, I’ll see what I can do.”

And they rode on to their next schedule with Taekwoon quietly brooding in the front seat.

Awkwardly, Taekwoon stands at the door of the hospital room, staring at his feet to avoid the contemptuous glares from his Noona’s father and three older brothers.

“Dear, stop glaring at him like that. Our daughter wouldn’t like it if you’re all like this—“ Noona’s mother began, futilely trying to calm the tempers of her boys.

“I should have insisted that she marry Han Jungwoo,” her father spat with the great veins of his forehead and neck bulging as he glared at Taekwoon. “A shark-faced boy broke my little girl’s heart several years ago, and now, that same shark-faced boy did this to her—“

“I’m sorry—“

“Daddy . . .” Noona pinches her father’s sleeve as he got up, apprehensively watching as his face went from livid and purple to resigned and red. Seeing his shoulders slump, she smiles weakly. “I’m OK, dad, mom, guys . . . But . . . can I talk to Taekwoonie, alone?”

And at her request, everyone filed out of the room, and each of her brothers threw him a murderous glare and bumped his shoulder on their way out.

Pulling in a stool, he sits next to her, wordlessly watching her as she stared at the ceiling.

“Noona—“ I’m so sorry. Because of me, you got into an accident—

Turning her head, she just smiles softly at him, reaching over with a deathly-pale hand to pat his head. Then she frowns. “Taekwoonie, are you balding?”

He blinks. “Noona—“

“You have to take better care of yourself, you dummy!” she scolds, her voice quivering. Her icy fingers slide down to his cheek, causing him to flinch from surprise at how cold her hands were. “Sorry, my hands are a bit cold, aren’t they? But . . .”

“Noona, I’m sorry—“ he began again as she began to cry. “I . . . I’ll deal with the paparazzi . . . I’ll—“

“Just stay with me, Taekwoonie, please. I . . . I don’t want us to break up again.”

“You’ll be safe from the paparazzi if we do—“

“Taekwoonie . . . I’m pregnant. And—Taekwoonie? You have that stupid—well, normally it’s cute, but—blank look on your face right now,” she huffs as he just blinks while looking like he’d just gotten kicked in the head by a demented draft horse. “You’re the father. I’m not going to ask you for anything but—ow!” Noona squeaks as the man suddenly pulled her into his warm embrace. An idiotic, fatherly grin spreads across his normally-stoic-and-emotionless features and his eyes curve downwards into merry little crescents, causing her to sigh as she patted his back. She hadn’t meant for the news to just tumble out like that, but . . .

“Noona . . . marry me,” he says, resting his chin on her shoulder. He felt giddy and more alive than ever before, and yet, it was just yesterday that it seemed like his world had crashed down on him. He was going to be a father, and his Noona—

“No.”

--and at that one word, he felt his heart stopping. “But . . . you don’t want to break up?”

“No . . .”

Reluctantly releasing Noona from his embrace, he puts his hands on her thinner shoulders, trying to find the reason why she wouldn’t marry him in those wide, midnight-colored eyes. Then why?

“It’s just . . .” She shrugged, wringing her hands in her lap as she tried to avoid his piercing gaze.

“Why?” he demanded, feeling his temper fraying as he couldn’t understand why Noona would ask him to stay with her when she wouldn’t marry him. Why did she even tell him she was pregnant, then? He shakes her shoulders, only stopping as he realized he was hurting her. He snaps his hands back, folding them across his knees before he could even think about reaching for her again. “Sorry . . .”

“Taekwoonie—“

“Why?”

“It’s just—“ And she looks away again. “You never told me,” she mumbles.

Blankly, he blinks, wrecking his brains for anything and everything that he might have said, did, or didn’t say or do that could have upset his Noona. “’Thank you?’”

She shakes her head, squirming as she mustered the courage to look back up at him. “Never mind. I will marry you, just—“

Then, it hits him. Those words he held in that summer bubbled up again, and he realized that even though they were common words, he’d never once said them properly to her. But rather than saying those words, he thought he’d shown her, he thought that she knew . . . Leaning in, he kisses his Noona, letting her feel those words as he whispered them for the first time against her lips;

I love you.

// End - Words to Say

20160601 - could be related to the noona in http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/564279/love-letters-sliceoflife-you-leo-vixx-hakyeon-taekwoon (Love Letters), but can also be read as a solo ^^ Next story will likely center around Ken, Ravi, or Leo as tragedy or crack humor ^^