Yoongi was 7 when he met Jimin for the first time. The younger was a ball of energy, running around everytime he had a chance. Yoongi liked Jimin. But at such a young age, he couldn't possibly understand what love is. So with nervewracking precaution, he watched the boy from afar. Ignoring the slight tugs his heart wrenched when he saw Jimin initiating skinship with a taller boy named Taehyung. Yoongi was a kid. He couldn't understand.

The primary schoolars received their 'soulmate' talk when they were ten. It was basic knowledge and Yoongi wasn't as bothered as he thought he would be. He recalled the beautiful writing on his parent's wrists, a sign that only soulmates had. Younger and more naive, Yoongi used to ask his mother about how life looked with colors. She would always light up as she proudly displayed the engravure of his father's name on his wrist. 

"Yoongi-ah, one day you'll meet a person that will make you very happy." She cooed, sweet smile across his face. 

"You have to cherish them. Meant to be. Life with colours is really nice." 

 

Yoongi nodded in agreement and hummed. It would be great if it was Jimin. His naive little ten year old brain said.

 

First year of highschool.

The first time they actually talk was when Jimin pratically pounced on the older. The younger pronounced some 'sorry' but Yoongi groaned as his head buzzed from the shock. His eyes were blurry and tried to focus on the younger male's face. Yoongi squinted, looking at Jimin's white face as he lifted himself from the floor. Passing his hands in front of his ripped jeans, he offered his hand for Jimin to lift himself up. Yoongi almost retreated his hand. What if Jimin was his soulmate? 

Those thoughts were erased when Jimin carelessly grabbed the hand and got up. Yoongi watched as the younger flinched a little bit, probably from the pain from the fall earlier.

Yoongi stared at his wrist.

Dissapointment.

Utter dissapointment.

Jimin wasn't his soulmate.

"Ah thank you hyung. I'm so sorry for bumping into you." And with that, Jimin is gone. Yoongi can feel his heart crack a little bit, the hope he collected falling sourly on the floor. He studied his wrist attentively and shaked his head, tugging his sleeves as he watched shades of white and black animating with each other.

 

It didn't take long for Yoongi to meet Jimin again. Even with the older's constant urge of avoiding the younger, Jimin always managed somehow to win Yoongi's attention. The older wasn't very open at first, considering that his crush was meant to be with a person that can treat him better than Yoongi. But Jimin was persistent, bringing him juice boxes as a gift or even sending him paper notes ever so often in class. It wasn't long for them to become good friends, best friends. Yoongi wants to laugh because he is best friends with his crush. The person who made him suffer from wet dreams and sleepless nights. The person who whispers sweet things in Yoongi's ears when he feels low. It is all friendship, Yoongi thinks. That's what friends do, right?

 

Jimin's interesting, Yoongi decides one day on his fourth year. They've been friends for nearly 4 years yet this is the first time that Yoongi hears the younger sing. And it's at those times, Yoongi wants to see colours. He wants to see the colour of Jimin's hair, wants to see his skin, wants to see the flush cheeks that shows on the boy's face whenever he is cold. He can hear Jimin, but it's not enough for Yoongi. He needs more. And he knows he is greedy.

 

The two young boys are in college now, at the start of their early twenties. Jimin thought it would be a good idea to share the dorm together since they were such good friends. Yoongi still ignores the pain that the word 'friends' does to him. It's funny, he thinks, he should be over Jimin by now. His eyes bores itself to the television, playing some cheesy rom com film that he honestly isn't paying to much attention to. He was dozing off until Namjoon bounced into the room, banging on the door loud enough to wake the latter up. 

"Hoe, did you see my cap? The black one? I'm going on a date with Seokjin." Namjoon states in the most natural way and Yoongi can't deny that he is jealous. Jimin is in class and his music partner is going on a date, so lonely. He groans, pointing at a pile of clothes on the ground and hides himself under the pillow. He hates how jealous he is. Yoongi whined pitfully as he recall Namjoon's soulmate incident.

 

x

 

"Hyung!" Namjoon screetched, opening the door who revealed Jimin and Yoongi currently playing video games.

"What?" Yoongi said as he pressed on the curser with more force. Can't lose his pride by losing in a game.

"I found my soulmate!" And that was a phrase scary enough to make Yoongi pause the game and stare at Namjoon. 

"What?" The older asks, still processing if Namjoon was actually joking or not.

"Aish, you heard me the first time." Namjoon clicked his tongue in fake annoyance, as he rolled up his sleeve. He rubbed his stubby fingers on top of the fresh ink.

Kim Seokjin.Yoongi mentally thinks and he's mad at the fact that Namjoon will be spending more time with this Seokjin guy than Yoongi himself. On a side note, Jimin looks completely fascinated.

"Wow hyung! You have to introduce him to us somedays!" Jimin said, passion written all over his face as he rubbed the ink on Namjoon's wrist. 

"I will no problem, like right now." The tall boy says and the next thing you know, a equally tall boy walks alongside his friend.

"Here are my good friends, Yoongi and Jimin. This is Seokjin, my soulmate." Namjoon says out proudly and Yoongi can't blame him.  Seokjin was drop dead gorgeous. The four of them hits off well as they learn that Jin also sings.

 

x

 

"Jimin, did you find your soulmate yet?" Yoongi asks one day out of curiousity. He was curious, his best friend never talked about this topic. With that, Jimin froze before coughing out a unstable "Nope, not yet." 

And Yoongi knew that Jimin was lying. He just don't know why.

 

x

It was almost graduation time.

Jimin came back home one day, slightly uneasy and Yoongi could feel it.

"What's wrong?" Yoongi questioned and Jimin avoided his gaze. He looked like he was trying to find something to hide himself in or maybe crawl into a hole.

"Jimin. What's. Wrong." The older now asked with a slight authorative tone. The younger flinched a little bit.

"I have a boyfriend!" He blurts out, a little too nervously for Yoongi's liking.

"What?" The older asked, praying that Jimin didn't say what he actually said.

"I got a boyfriend." Jimin whispered lowly, hoping for the best. The awkward silence was suffocating.

"Okay." The other replies after the long silence. It ing hurts.

"Finally our little Jiminie has a boyfriend! Thought you were going to die a ." Yoongi managed to squeeze out from his strained voice. It hurts, everything hurts so much. 

Jimin's face brighten up with a slight uncertainty on his face. "You don't mind right?" 

Yes I do. I mind so ing much. 

But instead of saying that, he just croaks out a "Not at all."

 

And he barely misses the tinge of sadness on Jimin's face.

 

x

 

Yoongi finally decides that he can't hate Jimin's boyfriend whatsoever. The boy was cute, perfect even but he wasn't Jimin's soulmate from what Yoongi saw on the boy's wrist. It calms the older down, knowing that this is just a quick fling, a past time. But he can't get the images of Jimin receiving pecks on his cheeks from someone that isn't him out of his head. He watches as Jimin flashes the sweetest smile to Jungkook and honestly Yoongi would be lying if he said that his heart didn't swell a bit.

 

He cries. Long big sobs. His pillow is stained with tears. Jimin is out again, somewhere with Jung ing kook. Doing something Yoongi would rather not know. He shouldn't be sad and he knows it. This is not right. He doesn't sleep that night. 

 

 

x

 

When Jimin comes back home one day, announcing that he broke up with Jungkook. Yoongi smirked, he called it and he knows that he shouldn't be feeling relieved. 

"What happened?" The older questioned out in curiousity.

Jimin is calm. A little bit too calm. "He found his soulmate."

Oh.

OH.

That makes so much sense.

"Awn Chim I'm sorry." Yoongi said in sympathy and Jimin just brushed it off.

"Eh, I don't care, it was just a past time." Jimin admits and Yoongi can feel the crack on his heart retape again.

It's not healthy, they aren't healthy.

 

x

 

Jimin is dragging Yoongi to a club that the older as no interest in. But the younger boy is so cute, he didn't dare to refuse. So here he is, slumped back on a wall as he watched Jimin drink his whole life out. He can't blame the other, Yoongi quotes Jimin: he's going through a very 'hard' breakup. Yoongi snorted, he knew that Jimin wasn't here because of the breakup. Everytime the boy drank, it was because he was mad or because he had something to confess and he was too scared to do it sober.

 

Yoongi drags Jimin back to their room and it's a disaster. The younger is way too giggly and speaks nonsense. The older is trying to shove him in bed but Jimin just won't comply.

"Your shirt is red." Jimin laughs and Yoongi freezes. 

"You're drunk."The older shrugs off, once again trying to shove the younger in bed.

"No I swear-r I'm not. " And Jimin is a giggling mess by now. "Your pants are navy blue and your blanket is green~" he nearly singsongs.

Yoongi stops and he is counting down the possibilties that Jimin already have a soulmate. 

"I can see the world in colours" Jimin exclaims after calming down from laughing too much.

"What?" Yoongi asks because he is seriously doubting that Jimin understands what he is saying.

"I met my soulmate and his name is..." Jimin covers himself with Yoongi's blanket.

"Yoongi" Jimin whispered, falling asleep.

 

x

 

 

Yoongi didn't sleep again. He left the dorm early to miss an awkward conversation with Jimin. 

He doesn't deserve this.

Jimin doesn't. 

Was this the reason why Jimin would always hang out with Yoongi?  As a hope or desperation to make the older respond to his genuine feelings. 

Yoongi feels like . He feels like he just broke his bestfriend's heart.

 

He avoids the texts that Jimin sends him bur makes sure that Jimin is okay by sticking post its on the table. 

 

Jimin picks one up and reads.

"Make sure you eat and don't sleep too late! Hyung is not coming back today. I'm sorry.

And then the younger lets out a shuddering sigh. 

 

x

 

The two boys never fought so this was pretty bad. Jimin especially skipped class one day so he could meet up with Yoongi's schedule. And when he finally saw the older for what feels like years, he bounces onto the boy, pinning his wrists above the boy's head.

"What the ?" Yoongi spits out from shock.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Jimin asks and he doesn't want to think about how his voice cracks. His tears are threatening to fall and Yoongi shows no sign to tell him the reason.

Jimin removes his grip on the older's wrists as he starts lightly punching the boy's chest. Anger mixed with sadness, he sobs out.

"I missed you so ing much."  And Yoongi couldn't resist his urge to hug the younger.

"I missed you too, Jiminie." 

 

The sobs and whining calms down and a comfortable silence take over them. And Yoongi stares into Jimin dark orbs.

 

He is so curious. So ing curious.

 

"Jiminie, what's the colour of my shirt?"

, wrong move.

The younger's mouth agape a little before closing it and forming a sentence that is barely comprehensive.

"I-i uh-h I don't-t know... how am I supposed to know?" Jimin lies, gritting through his teeth.

"I'm your soulmate, am I?" Yoongi regrets the words as soon as they come out.

Oh no.

Oh no.

OH NO.

Jimin is panicking and he is stumbling through his words as he try to leave. But Yoongi's iron grip stopped him from doing so.

"Let me-e go." Don't hate me. Jimin cried out but the older just shaked his head stubbornly.

"Explain what you have to explain." Yoongi stated a matter the fact. Jimin chuckled bitterly before calming down his panicking.

"I already did Yoongi hyung. You are my soulmate but I'm not yours." It burns, it hurts.

Yoongi looks down, slightly apologetic. "I'm sorry Jimin ah." He really is. He isn't lying.

Jimin smiles, but it isn't those sweet smiles he used to flash to Yoongi. "I don't need your pity, hyung." He doesn't want it. 

"But if I am your soulmate, then what about Jungkook? " Yoongi is too curious and it will kill him at the end. The worst is that he knows it.

The younger smirks, his red rimmed eyes glowing. "Ahh Jungkookie? You really believed in that lie? It was to see if you would get jealous or not....and I guess not. " Jimin chokes on a tear.

"But..." I love you. That's what Yoongi wanted to say but he can't find the guts to do so.

"You know your eyes are red right now?" Jimin snorts, almost menacingly, almost in a mocking way and Yoongi absolutely hates it.

"I-I didn't know-w." He didn't think of that. The older finally says.

"I know you didn't, and that's why I desperately tried to avoid the topic. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love you back." Jimin twiddles his thumbs, staring at them as he tries not to cry.

"But I love you too!" And it's not a lie.

 

 

Jimin stands up and flashes the sweetest smile. And Yoongi's eyes twinkles in hope.

 

"I know you do but you have a soulmate out there. One that will treat you better than I ever will." The word soulmate sounds bitter to Yoongi now. 

"I can't-t you can't but I love you,  you can't leave me." Not now, not after all this. Yoongi is hysterical, crying like he was at a funeral.

"I-I'm sorry. We can't-t. We aren't meant to be. And that's why we can't be together" I'm so sorry Yoongi. Forgive me one day. Jimin whispers barely loud enough for Yoongi to hear it as he dashes out of the door.

 

x

 

Three months had passed since Jimin left.

Yoongi stares at the emptiness, the shades of black and white mocking him and reminding him of what he lost. His best friend. His love. Yoongi is more than tired. He doesn't want to cry anymore. But he misses his Jimin dearly. 

Why is it like this?

Why must soulmates exist?

He'll rather choose Jimin over any 'bull soulmate'. He would choose Jimin over his own life if he's honest. But now, the younger is gone.

 

Yoongi enters the room Jimin used to stay in. Everything stayed in there, nothing was moved after the younger's leave.

It's time to clean.

It's time to leave this memory behind.

 

He doesn't clean anything, he didn't have the heart to.

 

x

 

The boy wakes up dumbfounded, he somehow managed to fall asleep on Jimin's bed, pathetic.

His thoughts were wiped as he saw a blank paper disposed on the nightstand.

That paper wasn't here before.

 

 

He picks it up and really wishes that he had not read it. The guilt wash over him like a truck as he try not to cry. The frustration he tried to hide in him boils out of him and Yoongi screams.

 

 

I was black and you were white

I touched you and I received life

But the colors are just reminding me

Of something that I cannot have

I love you but you don't love me back

And that is okay.

 

-Jimin

 

 

 

And Yoongi shakily sighs, Jimin was right. They weren't meant to be.

 

---

SORRY GUYS I GOT KINDA BORED SO THIS FANFIC HAPPENED. I WAS IN CLASS AND FELT LIKE WRITING AN ANGST STORY.

 

-L