As I said before, I have no idea how the Taehyung, that goddamnned Taehyung, turned me from wanting to break his finger to being wrapped around it. Just thinking about it is enough to make me roll my eyes back and rub my aching head in frustration. But I can tell you I started looking at him differently all due to one phrase. 

“You only see the true worth in something once it's fleeted out of your grasp. And when all hope seems to be drained from your being, never succumb to pessimism and remember to always believe in that one percent"

Such a long- phrase. I feel like if I could tally every time I've heard my mother say that to me, even Moses would be in awe at my determination. And Moses... Talk about a dedicated fellow, am I right? Tallying is my Noah’s Ark, if that makes sense. Just as taxing and grueling of a task to complete.

Okay I’ll stop with the religious references now, I’ve been paying too close attention to English History and I know nobody wants to hear about it right now.

Anyways, the phrase. God, I hear that bloody phrase at least once a day. But that's on a good day. A lucky day. It normally ranges between 4-5 times every 24 hours. It's like her catch phrase. So that means in my seventeen years of living I’ve heard her say it.... hmm let’s see…that's 365 times 17 equals... And this isn't math class. Not to mention not every year is 365 days due to skip years, leap years, or whatever the their called, so my math was flawed from the start.

Crap I got side tracked.

Moving on to the point, she says it profusely and that's not just me being overly dramatic (which I'm also slightly, just a smidgen, known for… I mean hence the previous Moses comment that was a little absurd).

 And being like any slightly angst-prone teenager with a hormonal driven ego I'd mumble an almost incoherent 'yeah, sure, mom' in a huff under my breath accompanied with an eye-roll and snarky unvoiced response in my mind. 

Meaning in short: I brush her off.

I’d ignore her yet put on enough of an act to make it look as though those words truly resounded within me (when in fact they never did) so she’d drop the subject. Just another monotonous, pre-programmed answer to spew out whenever those dreadful words slip past my mother’s lips and like that the gap between my family and me, unnoticeably, grew. Not as though I really took the time to pause my ever so 'vigorous' schedule of video-games, texting and soccer to notice, but I was content with my life of obnoxiousness. I was content with the blissful ignorance, in thinking that, that phrase my mother said was just, 'another-emotionally-centered-middle-aged-house-wife-spouting-romance-clichés-in-hopes-one-day-it-will-come-true', when we all know that her time is well passed and expired (sorry mom love ya). It wasn't until I removed that stereotype filter from my vision that the phrase hit me like a ton of broken plastic spoons. 

Okay I’m really lousy with analogies alright? Give me a break. In my defense, broken plastic can cut some serious wounds. I got some battle scars to prove it.

Anyways, every time Taehyung was involved that phrase would come crawling back from the depths of my mind and knock its way into my thoughts and each occasion were completely different. 

The first time was when he barged my life, ruined my blossoming fame, and took over my title of being the 'prodigy soccer player' with his unearthly knack for the game (and no I didn’t just compliment him). Believe in that one percent of bad luck in my life. Is what my eight year-old self-chided. I was nothing but good luck. So when this son-of-a- came and stole everything I held pride in away from me I was sure it was karma from a past life. 

The second time was when said jerk disappeared. You know, at first I'd thought that he just was having an off game, because when I say he, meaning Taehyung, was having an off game I mean he was god-awful. Disgraceful even. And me being the kind and generous person that I am, tried to snap him out of it by slugging him smack in the jaw. After that game he never showed up again. Believe in that one percent that nothing is ever routine. I was dead certain that Taehyung would always be there to stir up the burning challenging spirit I had in me. That he was just as invincible as I was. That he would never let me down. But it all crashed in an instant and he was gone before I could even learn to appreciate anything about him leaving me with only the childish misplaced hatred I had towards him.

And the third time (I won't say last because who knows what the future holds?) was when he reappeared in my life nearly six years later. And that's where I'll start. When I was seventeen and a rising junior at the pristine private high school I went to.